Show a Blind Mare Around
Show a Blind Mare Around
I woke up at precisely dawn, though I never saw the 'rosy fingers' that books had described. It was more of an instinctual habit now, having been woken at dawn when Celestia woke to raise the sun. I'd always hear her slip on her gilded slippers and walk noisily across the well-polished marble flooring to her balcony that overlooked the wonderfully fragrant Royal Gardens. When her hoofsteps didn't echo in the large space of her chambers, I'd wake up and join her, though I could never appreciate the sight of dawn. But I always enjoyed the feeling of warmth the sun gave me. Always pleasant, like a warm fire and a blanket on Hearth's Warming, or a fresh-baked cookie. Waking at dawn had always been the key to keeping my sanity without my sight. It had been so long since I'd seen anything that I'd forgotten colors. One could tell me that the sky was blue, and I'd never remember the difference if someone else told me it was yellow.
I shuffled to my hooves and got out of my bed. I walked over to the wall and hugged it, taking note of the smooth wood's texture. I walked carefully along the edge of my new room, counting the steps around, and tracking where my bed was with my head. When I got to the stairwell, I turned to face my bed, assuming I did the geometry correctly, and I stepped away from the wall. I reached my bed in eight steps.
I walked back to the stairwell, hugging the outer wall of it. I counted each step, and calculated how far around in a circle I went as I descended the spiral staircase. It took me twenty-two stairs and two-hundred seventy degrees around to reach the library proper.
The warm scent of fresh pancakes hit my nostrils, as did the sudden hissing of hay-bacon sizzling to life in a frying pan hit my ears. Somepony had just started cooking. I followed the left wall, as was my habit when exploring new buildings, going roughly ninety degrees around before I hit an opening in the wall from which the glorious scent of pancakes and bacon wafted. As much as I wanted to believe it was just Spike cooking, I knew he didn't know how to fry hay-bacon properly. I gingerly poked my head around the corner, hoping to get a better earful or nose-full of the intruding pony.
An incredibly feminine voice hummed softly as the bacon fried and the pancakes cooked. It was almost familiar. "Rarity, right?" I asked around the corner.
"Right you are, darling," the voice replied casually, as though it were perfectly normal for her to be there.
I started to hear the sound of a knife on a cutting board, and a slight rumble of a dense fruit rolling after being split in two. There were more ponies in my library. "Alright. What gives? Who all is here?" I near growled, mildly exasperated that I couldn't even enjoy a private morning exploring my new home. "And more importantly, why are you here?"
"Well, there's me cooking bacon and pancakes," Rarity answered, "Applejack slicing apples, Rainbow and Fluttershy setting up plates and silverware, and Pinkie cleaning the mess from the party the other day out in the common."
I deadpanned. Great, I mentally cursed. Those ponies. Just who I wanted in my library at the crack of dawn. But the more I thought about my first encounters with each of them, the more horrible I felt for my harsh reaction, especially towards Fluttershy, who was among the group. I remembered Rainbow's innocent comment, and shuddered at myself. They had only been treating me exactly how I wanted them to: as though I weren't blind. They're probably here to apologize even though I'm the one who was wrong...
"We're reeeeeeeeally sorry about the party," Pinkie's voice called from behind me somewhere in the middle of the common. "I had no idea you didn't want a party. Everypony I meet likes parties..."
"Yeah, and I'm sorry about my mouth going off without my head," Rainbow's unstable voice added. "I had no idea you really were blind."
"Actually... I should be the one apologizing..." I sighed. "My outburst... No... My explosion the other day was unacceptable. I had no grounds to say such things, and certainly not to you all. You were just treating me the same as anypony else. I'm sorry for lashing out like that. You didn't know."
"I should have guessed..." Rainbow growled at herself. "It should have been obvious... The way you tracked me in the air... Only shifting your gaze from cloud to cloud..."
"Rainbow," I interrupted. "It's fine. I didn't expect you to know. I try very hard to hide it."
"U-um... Might I ask... Why do you not want ponies to know you're blind...?" Fluttershy interjected softly. "I mean... You don't have to answer..."
"I don't like being treated differently," I answered. "Some ponies in Canterlot treated me differently when I lost my sight. They all pitied me. I hated it."
"Makes enuff sense ta me," Applejack drawled. "I wouldn't want pity if I lost a leg."
"Either way, you still haven't told me why you're all in my kitchen cooking breakfast," I grumbled, forcing the tangent full circle.
"We wanted to apologize for making your first day in Ponyville as uncool as we did," Rainbow offered her point. "Especially me... I did crash into you..."
"Apology accepted," I concluded. "It's totally fine."
The sound of bacon sizzling soon stopped, and many flops of fresh cooked pancakes hitting ceramic plates filled the air. Everything smelled glorious. My mouth watered in anticipation, and my stomach growled in agreement. I felt the ponies in my kitchen stare at me before giggling profusely. I joined them out of embarrassment.
Within minutes, we were all seated at the table, engaged in idle chatter about our daily lives, our likes and dislikes, and various stories of past escapades we'd done. I learned that Applejack had at one point run away from home to find herself in Manehatten, but soon returned because she didn't like the society there. I learned that Rainbow had signed up for the Best Young Fliers competition the day she met me. I learned that Rarity was a local fashion designer that had a few clients in Canterlot, but was hoping to eventually be based there. But I never heard much about Fluttershy. I'd heard that she and Dash had been in the same Flight School class, but not much else. It was curious to say the least.
"So what are all of your cutie marks?" I asked casually, hoping no one brought up my blindness. There were only a few things I'd ask about ponies having anything to do with appearance.
"Mine's a trinity of diamonds," Rarity answered just as casually.
"Three apples," AJ replied simply, crunching on another apple.
"The rainbow lightning bolt," Dash informed smoothly.
"Three balloons!" Pinkie chirped, near bouncing out of her chair.
"Three butterflies," Fluttershy answered softly.
An awkward silence descended upon the room, cracking only when forks hit plates. I 'looked' around, trying and failing to judge the expressions on the faces of my... friends. As much as I didn't want friends, I had to admit these ponies were trying very hard to be my friend, and I kinda liked it.
"Hey Twilight?" Rainbow broke the silence. "Mind if I ask ya something...?"
"I'll allow this once," I sighed, already knowing where this was going. "Shoot."
"Um... When... When did you... y'know... lose your sight?" she stammered a bit, anxious of my previous explosion. I felt one of her legs shaking under the table. When I met her, she was bold and cocky. I found it strange that she was so nervous, but I understood why she would be. I did explode at her for an innocent comment. I felt everyone hold their breath as they waited for my response.
I mourned, drooping a little as the unpleasant memories of how I lost my sight filled my head, "I lost it when I earned my cutie mark..."
Applejack, who happened to be sitting directly next to me, placed one of her rough and scratchy hooves on my shoulder. I didn't bother shaking it off this time. I felt everyone's heads lower in sympathy. Even though I didn't want the sympathy, it was only fair that I should tell them a few things about how I came to be blind.
"I'm... sorry for asking..." Dash whispered.
--
It was incredibly pleasant outside that morning. The sun's familiar warmth caressed my skin and coat, bringing me right back up from the depths of my bad memories. I felt the subtle seismic waves of hoofsteps and their familiar sounds on the compacted dirt streets of Ponyville. I smiled to myself, feeling the presence of Fluttershy next to me. As usual, her hoofsteps were extremely light and soft, making her almost impossible to keep track of. I liked that about her.
"So, what kind of places do you want to find?" she asked in her gentle voice.
"Well, I definitely want to know where the local coffee and teashops are," I mentioned.
"Oh! I know the perfect teashop!" she half-squealed. I silently wondered what I'd done to excite her. But I had no time to do more than wonder, as she started moving.
"Lead the way, Twinklehooves."
I followed closely beside her, keeping track of her soft steps. "It's this nice little hole-in-the-wall place, but the only teashop you'll need to know." She nudged me a little with her wing before starting to turn towards me. I turned with her, now knowing her signal for a turn.
I listened to the chatter of the town as I passed them by, some noticing me and lifting a hoof off the ground to wave as they called a friendly 'hello'. I simply smiled, listening to the town, learning its many voices. I heard a foal wail loudly halfway up the street on the right side. I heard a marketplace just a block or two over, bustling with merchants calling out their produce as the best around and customers haggling prices with them.
Fluttershy stopped and tapped me with her wing again, turning sharply to the right. I followed, smelling the various blends of tea already. I smiled, having memorized the route to this teashop. She opened the door and held it as I walked in. I quietly thanked her before turning my attention back to the wall of scent inside the warm teashop. I heard a few ponies in a corner talking, probably a couple. I heard the familiar scratch of a quill on paper from another table. I heard the dull whistle of water boiling in a kettle behind a closed double-hinged door. I liked this place already.
"Oh! Fluttershy! What brings you here so early!" an unfamiliar female voice called from where I assumed the counter was.
"Oh, hey Rosemary. I'm showing my friend around town," Fluttershy replied brightly. "She's new to Ponyville. Thought I'd show her The Teapot."
"Well, miss..." the mare identified as Rosemary hesitated.
"Twilight," I answered.
"Well, miss Twilight, I'm sure you'd love this place as we do," she continued. "Oh yes! Poetry night is tonight at six, if you'd like to join us."
The poetry caught me off guard. A teashop with an organized poetry night was rare in Canterlot. Most ponies there were far too stuck up or business-oriented to care about liberal arts like literature. There were a few artists of various kinds like cellist Octavia Philharmonica and writer Redd Quill, but not many. I thought for one moment of coming back for the poetry, and instantly accepted, "Absolutely."
I heard Fluttershy hum happily, "I'll be sharing this time!"
I felt a smile creep onto my face when I heard her say that. I had a perfect opportunity to learn about Fluttershy.
"Would you like to share anything, miss Twilight?" Rosemary asked me.
"I'm afraid I don't have anything," I faltered. "Maybe next week."
"Sounds good to me. Shall I get you your usual, Fluttershy?" Rosemary inquired.
"Make it two," my pegasus guide replied warmly.
I mentally prodded myself, Why did I get so excited at the idea of hearing Fluttershy's poetry? Certainly I wouldn't have gotten that excited if it were Rainbow Dash or Applejack.
We sat down at a table, Fluttershy having made an order of whatever her 'usual' was for both of us. Now somewhat alone, I allowed my mind to wander off onto various tangents.
She must be a regular here. It would make sense; a quiet, withdrawn mare coming out to an out-of-the-way teashop that probably receives as much business per week as the average Sunbucks does in one day. Maybe just for the comfortable atmosphere, maybe to see somepony special. Who knows.
"So what other kinds of places do you want to know the locations of?" she inquired, rousing me from my thoughts.
"Oh... Well, I heard the market on the way here, and I think I smelled a bakery," I listed off, trying to remember if there were any other important landmarks I needed to know. "Perhaps the park and your homes."
"Okay," I felt her smile warmly. "That bakery you smelled was Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie lives there."
A weighted tray was placed on our table, the steaming vapor of scalding hot water notifying me that it was meant for making tea. A pleasant scent made its way to me, making me feel a bit more relaxed. I'd tried a number of different tea blends, but had never even smelled this one in particular. Perhaps it was a Ponyville signature. I eagerly located the teabag responsible for the aroma and dunked it into the steaming water.
"What kind of tea is this?" I asked, taking another whiff as the tea steeped. "I haven't smelled this blend before."
"Try it first," she deflected.
I took a sip of the tea and was greeted with a strong burst of lavender warmly embracing my mouth. Subtle pinches and pops of cinnamon and the slightest hints of lemon set in soon after the initial wave of flavor. I took another sip of the blend, enjoying its perfect balance of flavors, feeling myself melt a little bit. My shoulders loosened, lowering the drink by an inch. My back loosened and hunched slightly, bringing my face back down towards the tea.
"What is this?" I wondered aloud. "What is this beautiful concoction?"
"It's the Everfree Lavender blend," she giggled, taking another sip of her own tea. "My own personal blend."
My expression of wonder shifted to one of disbelief, "You make this blend yourself?"
She offered a soft hum of affirmation, taking another sip of the delightful beverage.
--
She was an amazing guide. She showed me around town, helping me find points of interest like particularly good cafés and restaurants, bakeries, and the occasional strange landmark like the Quill and Sofa shop. She was able to work around my blindness, signaling turns with light nudges from her wing rather than calling them out loud. She had no idea how much I appreciated that aspect of her guidance. She was always gentle and considerate to my desire to keep my blindness on a need-to-know basis. She didn't talk too much, as I'm sure Pinkie would have should she have been my guide, but she did make interesting conversation. Apparently, she lived in a cottage on the outskirts of Ponyville, just outside the Everfree Forest. She told humorous stories of the animals she cared for, including one of beating a grizzly bear in a wrestling match. For the first time in a long time, I felt myself smiling, all because of her. I quickly began thinking of her as the best friend I'd ever had.
We returned to the library at roughly four o'clock, having spent the entire day combing the streets of Ponyville, learning of the various places. I smiled, feeling the already familiar coolness of the library. I stepped forward just a little ways before I remembered to hug the wall. I was still learning the layout of the place, as I was for Ponyville. I estimated I'd need another week of guidance around town before I could feel comfortable and confident going out on my own.
I felt Fluttershy nudge me with her wing once again, as though telling me that she'd guide me safely through the unknown center of the room. I tentatively stepped away from the wall, sticking close to my gentle pegasus friend. Slowly and carefully, she guided me through the common, tapping things with her hoof when we got close so I could hear where the solid objects were. When we made it the whole way through to the staircase, I'd found that the main common of the library had a small wooden coffee table carved out of the tree the library used to be, two armchairs and a loveseat.
"Thank you for showing me around today, Fluttershy," I said.
"Oh, you're very welcome. Any time," she chirped softly.
A grandfather clock chimed four, its loud bells echoing in the resonant wood. I yawned, "I'm pretty comfortable with the location of that teashop, but I'll need a bit more time to remember everything else."
"Oh. I'd be happy to help you around until you're comfortable with Ponyville," she offered quickly.
"I'd like that," I murmured. "Anyway, I'm going to take a quick nap. I'll see you at six for the poetry night?"
"Sounds good," she replied happily. She gave me a quick hug before cantering off, her hoofsteps just as light as though she were walking normally.
My mind soon flooded with thoughts, most of which began breaking down the hug and its possible meanings. To me it was a bit out of place. She was my friend, and friends hug each other sometimes, but I'd only known her for a bit over thirty-six hours at that point. I doubted that hugging a friend that soon after meeting them was not a common occurrence. But then again, I kinda liked it. It was, as I had expected, soft and gentle, though very quick. Not only that, but it was the first time I'd felt her fur and mane. Both were softer than the finest silk I'd felt in the palace. I didn't think much of it, but I had a subtle desire to feel it again.
I reached my bed lost in thought, though physically exhausted. I kept replaying the short exchange and the hug that came of it, trying to figure out what made her hug me. Within seconds of plopping down on my bed, I took the surgical breakdown of that one moment to my dreams.
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And with this, I say the following:
You have interest. NOW you have my attention.
~Skeeter he Lurker
2885926
You have no clue how proud of myself you've just made me.
<3 DarqFox
Twishy is always a reason to be a bit more lenient about the backgroundfluff. And knowing your writing darq, we`ll be in for a nice ride
Okay, this all makes a bit more sense now. Did the celebration not happen yet because the only reason Twilight is there is too over see the preparations.
2885985
To clarify, as with canon, the celebration occurred immediately following the defeat of Nightmare Moon, and assigned to study friendship in Ponyville. This was the day after the celebration. Thank you for reminding me to clarify that in the next chapter.
<3 DarqFox
2886070
Oh, okay. So that all happened and she was assigned to Ponyville. That does kinda raise another issue though.
I think Twilight would have been more friendly to them in the morning because she already considered them her friends. Not too mention that the apologies would have happened earlier as well, maybe during the trek into the everfree forest or right after. It's just a bit weird to imagine them getting along that night without doing so.
Granted, it's only a small thing and not a real problem, just wanted to if there was an explanation for that.
I'm really surprised about the context of this story; the reason that started my interest towards this in the first place. But I'm more surprised about the one who's actually the blind one, maybe a bit risky decision, but makes the story even more intriguing
I really don't mind about this not going the same tracks as the series, this isn't the same story after all. I just hope it gets enough attention in the good way, because this is relly interesting point of view for the story (so to speak). And good writing as well, nothing major mistakes to point out at quick glance, that being actually somewhat hard thing to achieve in here
Keep up the good work 
2886096
No small issue? BULLSHIT. That's a very big issue I have to reslove. Thank Gamer Luna for flashbacks. I'll have to take care of that soon enough.
Thank you for questioning me there. You deserve a moustache.
<3 DarqFox
2886110
isthatcoffee.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/moustache1.gif?w=300&h=211
Thank you, and your welcome.
Hmm... the TwiShy seems to be moving quite quick.
And where did Spike go?
Um.... Uh.... Um... I have no words for this...
And don't worry about the pacing, I LOVE stories that take the time to set up the characters (Of course, I like any entertaining read)
So far, so good by the way
2886254 Well to me that's just it. She's upset with them because they haven't taken any time to care about her as an actual pony, and as such she's just being weighed down when she's already quite disadvantaged to begin with. She feels taken for granted because all of these ponies expect her to be as open, friendly and enthusiastic as they are when they can't even take time to notice the colour of her pupils.
*Relieved sigh* THAT'S the Twilight Sparkle I know and love
My only complaint from last chapter is now void, so as of this chapter I'm fully on board with this
I didn't mention before, but I WAS intrigued by the description of what it means to be blind. I never know how far to go with them. I want to accommodate them, but at the same time I don't want to offend them by coddling them
2886137 It is a little quick, but I can imagine a SLIGHT crush forming already, thanks to Fluttershy being so accommodating
Let me guess Rainbow Dash is going to blame herself for ruining Twilight's eyesight when it was revealed how she got it in the first place?
2886361
You'll have to wait and see.
<3 DarqFox
2886110
I admit, I was rather wondering that myself on reading this second chapter; I was wondering if maybe in this particular alternate continuity, Twilight had arrived two or three days before the Nightmare Moon incident, rather than the very day before, so that there would be a bit of breathing room for her to repair her less-than-ideal first impression before they headed into the Everfree. It's not especially clear from the text that we've jumped ahead a couple of days from the prior one.
I'm also curious as to how you planned to have that whole incident play out, with Twilight being blind. It actually is rather important, I think; the situation was clearly set up in chapter one, so it can't just be dropped as "irrelevant."
2886274 I see your point, I guess it just didn't feel to me like she was connecting those things
2886274>>2886434
While I appreciate all of the comments going on here, I think I'll cut you guys off here with this:
There are only two chapters thus far. I have not explained a lot of things. I'm getting to all of those parts. Just be patient, and then both of your arguments will be proven one way or the other. I promise everything will come full circle.
However, if you feel like having your friends come read this and continue your little debate for themselves, I'd be totally fine with that!
I am shameless, aren't I?<3 DarqFox
2886462 I have no doubts about that, I was just clarifying my initial perceptions, is all
Don't worry, I'll gladly wait for wait for events to come, and I'm sure others will too
This is a damn interesting concept. I'll have to save this one for later.
2886462 You're already halfway up the most commented upon box
That said, I'd be happy to can it here. I must say that Shadow has been far from rude or hostile though. They've probably treated me to one of the most civil internet discussions I've ever had.
Step counting, wall hugging, and the listening. You're doing well on the blindness front. I'm sure that, for actual blind people, it's a bit more complex, but you're working qwith what you've got. Respect.
Your romance -- budding though it may be -- left me a bit wanting. The self-questioning approach is just so fake nine times out of ten. That said, I'm a person that thinks with emotions, and not thought. Twilight strikes me as a thinker, so maybe you're writing as a thinker. Eh, just my two cents.
Favourited and all that good shit.
it jumps around a bit (excusable and explained in detail already) but its an interesting premise, and would like to see it explored more. It's no Snowdrop, but the next best thing. I'd like to see maybe an expansion of fluttershy and her feelings towards the 'blind newcomer' to understand why she so inherently trusts twilight so. maybe because Twi is helpless in town and she feels its her right, but still quite forward for 'Shy. Yes, she cares for animals, but she's too scared of the world, bless her, so why does she latch onto twilight so readily? It feels a bit rushed as far as feelings run, but maybe thats just me being ignorant
Thats not to say i didnt feel very warm and fuzzy inside as i read the teashop parts.
Fluttershy feels bold and noble, kinda like a motherly component, i guess, just feels weird.
But for the love of Celestia, Don't Stop!
Love it still! Can't wait to hear her Cutie mark story.
I should be writing my story, but instead of that, i'm here reading other story. I regret nothing.
2887624
I like your philosophy, good sir.
<3 DarqFox
Well, it's a decent idea, but I don't think you develop things enough.
Nightmare Moon, for example, just drops out of sight. That's pretty major, and I kind of doubt you could so easily skip over it.
2887121
Twi is definitely a thinker. Shown in multiple episodes. I still carry a few aspects of canon, like her extremely logic based thought process, and inexperience socially, and by extention emotionally. That said, 9/10 times, the thinking is fake feeling. Twi is that other 1/10. She may feel physically, but that doesn't mean she has more experience with feelings.
Anyway, thanks for the fave. I am writing chapter three as you read this.
<3 DarqFox
Good work once more, but I can't help wondering how Twilight 'felt' fluttershy smile...
2888273
Tis an epression, good sir. It means Fluttershy was so happy in that moment that Twilight could notice it without sight. Kinda like when you feel someone watching you from a location you can't see them from.
<3 DarqFox
I like were this is going. Ugh, I just want to know more though. I know you will reveal all the answers to any questions I have eventually, but I'm the kind of guy that just wants to know as much as he can all the time.
Also, net necessarily a criticism, but the idea of hay-bacon just doesn't make sense to me. Why would ponies want something that is pretty much vegetarian bacon? I could understand if a human who somehow had a digestive problem would want a bacon substitute, but I should think that ponies have never tried bacon. Also, how would you make hay-bacon? And how could you cook it on a skillet?
Anyway, I look forward to further chapters of this story, and the wealth of information that those give me.
2888779
Pancakes and bacon is one of my favorite things to have for breakfast. That was entirely arbitrary and had no real purpose. :3
And yes, all shall be revealed in due time, but I do have to give fair warning: I write in stream-of-consciousness. I don't plan much for my stories. I plop down a few major points, a beginning, and an end, and try to nail a single shot that hits all of them. As a result, I may forget about/overlook a few little things, so please please PLEASE call me out on it when you see it. (just don't get snarky, please)
Thank you for the comment and early fave, now go tell your friends. (if you feel so inclined)
<3 DarqFox
You know, I would tell my friends about it, but alas, none of them read fanfiction.
If there are details missing, I'll be sure to tell you. Other than the bacon thing, nothing I noticed in this chapter.
First: I very much like the idea, and judging by the first two chapters, I'd definitely be intereted in reading more. However, I'd like to ask you to reconsider telling us about the adventure of defeating Nightmare Moon. Several reasons:
1. With Twilight being as rude as she is at the party, I want to see how they work along directly afterwards.
2. I don't agree with you that the story would be too similar to read again. Twilight wouldn't see the scary trees, she wouldn't see her opponent when she faces Nightmare Moon on her own, and I'm sure there are enough other possibilities to deviate from the original story.
3. As it is now, the jump between chapters one and two is confusing. I started reading chapter two with the expectation to read about the meeting in the town hall and everything that happens, the building of friendship that happens during all that. I was disappointed when I realized it wouldn't come. Honestly, even though we (roughly) know what happens, it is too important to be left out.
You start with Twilight's arrival in Ponyville and you should keep the story fluent from there on. Currently there's a big hole to fall into. I hope you reconsider and I can read how a blind Twilight deals with Nightmare Moon soon.
Greetings,
Syron
I saw this story on the front page and looked through your other stories, so far I've read The Frozen North and Blind. Love them both
keep up the great work and I look forward to the next chapter.
2894383
Thank you very much! Now, having read those two, I'd recommend reading 'Time and Warmth'.
I'm about half done with Ch3 so that's on the way.
<3 DarqFox
pretty damn good actually lol
i find everything explained pretty good shes kinda like a bat lstening to the sounds and shit
and i hope they made hay bacons or something lol
I know this has been said already ut the story doesn't flow well from chapter one into chapter two. I mean, they supposedly did the whole vanquishing Nightmare Moon thing, but Twilight barely remembers Rarity's name and they hadn't even apologised to each other yet. However I'm willing to ignore all that cause I'm loving the story. I'm legally blind myself and I've known many people who are blind. You're description of how she percieves things and her coping mechanisms are spot on. I also like how you're depicting her emotional reactions. I almost cried at the end of chapter one because I knew exactly how she felt, but also because I knew how the others must be feeling too. Also let me tell everyone here empathy is a real thing, it is possible to sense the emotions of others without seeing them, it's totally possible for Twilight to 'feel' Fluttersy smile. Also, the hugging the wall thing is an actual technique many use, though it isn't necessary to touch the wall, just get close to it. Try it, close your eyes and slowly approach a wall, when you get real close you should be able to feel it's presence there. This is due to sound reflecting, even in a seemingly silent room there is still ambient noise. Sorry for rambling, just wanted to say you're doing a great job, take it from someone who knows.
2888602 lol
By this point I'm starting to see similarities between another partnership...
Twilight: very powerful. Blind. Able to track ponies by the vibrations of their hooves. (In this story) kinda rude and sarcastic.
Fluttershy: pacifist. Very light footsteps, earning the nickname Twinklehooves from Twilight. Kind, caring, and able to fly.
Toph: very powerful. Blind. Able to track people by the vibrations of their feet. Kinda rude and sarcastic.
Aang: pacifist. Very light footsteps, earning the nickname Twinkletoes from Toph. Kind, caring, and able to fly (on his glider).
Ehh, I'm a Taang shipper. (Mainly because Zutara is my Avatar OTP.) Carry on.
2895152
Agreed. The only issue I have so far is that Twilight clearly mentions Nightmare Moon in the last chapter in a way that at least a few ponies should have noticed and questioned that little bit, and now in this chapter it's completely devoid. Hopefully this gets explained soon because this whole chapter was confusing with that cliffhanger dangling over the story. If not, I highly suggest going back and rewriting a section or two of the first chapter or the second to fix it. Leaving an audience wondering is a good thing when building suspense, but to just remove something like that as if a page is missing ...
Everfree Lavender blend? sounds very relaxing. *He says drinking chamomile as he is writing this*
It is the respect that i have for blind folk that drew me to this story, and maybe sorta the TwiShy concept as well. And so far i'm not disipointed good job so far.
~Tobben
3182270
You still had the whole Nightmare Moon thing, though? As in the events still happened, but they weren't in the story?
I can see Twilight not really noticing the scary trees part because she can't see them
Skipping the Nightmare Moon chapter is fine--going directly from "morning before Summer Sun Celebration" to "getting guided around Ponyville and going to poetry night" isn't. You put nothing in to signify a time lapse between her breakfast with the others and the next scene; instead, the story reads as though Nightmare Moon and the Celebration never happened as you directly transfer from waking up to an ordinary day in Ponyville, after setting up that those events would happen. You should either edit out the Nightmare Moon bit or briefly mention in the early sentences of the next scene "following the defeat of Nightmare Moon" or something along those lines, so that we aren't left thinking that you're half-assing the story (which I know you aren't--deliberately avoiding visual description like this is hard--but that's what it looks like).
What an intriguing and engaging set of ideas you've got here.
