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Moon

Something has attacked the moon, and everypony is scared. In Ponyville, everypony evacuates, but our faithful heroes go to their princess for a big suprise

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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Ponies62

Ponies62 #1 · Feb 18th, 2012 · · ·

Note to everypony: This is in Twilight Sparkle's POV. And this is my first Fanfiction!Don't judge me about spelling errors!

PlusWon

PlusWon #2 · Feb 18th, 2012 · · ·

First, Luna was on the moon for 1000 years, not 100. It's not Big Mac 'n Tosh, it's Big Macintosh. I'd suggest finding an editor so that it doesn't appear so sloppy. Finally, I don't like the way the POV is presented. It would be fine if it was written better, but it just seems awkward and sloppy. It has potential, you just need to fix some things.

Sunstar

Sunstar #3 · Feb 18th, 2012 · · ·

It has a good premise, but the execution is sloppy. Luna was on the moon for 1000 years, not 100 years. Big Mac'n'Tosh is Macintosh. It is confusing, and you really need an editor. Otherwise, I'd like to see where this goes.

Ponies62

Ponies62 #4 · Feb 19th, 2012 · · ·

232840 This was my first fanfic, I'm new to FIMFictionm, so please excuse how I had errors and stuff

Ponies62

Ponies62 #5 · Feb 19th, 2012 · · ·

232791 I understand everything, this was my first fanfic, thank you for how I can make it better. But somethings were ment to be confusing, Twilight won't write down EVERYTHING. Also, I have no idea about how to get editors and stuff