Taking place 20 years after the events of Friendship is Magic, Equestria is being threatened by an unknown and unstoppable force. City after city is being burned to the ground, and ponyville is next. It's up to Scootaloo and her friends to stop this force, using the elements of harmony that they inherited from Twilight and her group.
Can the new wielders of the elements step up to this task?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting plot to say the least.
I assume that you will add some OC ponies to fill the 3 other slots for the Elements of Harmony?
also, I'm really irked at Zecora's lines. Mostly because one of her sentences will rhyme, then the other won't, and it repeated that way, which threw me off.
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Yeah, although it wasn't mentioned in these chapters, the elements are filled with blaze, moon trotter, and cloud bounce.
Also, I can understand why you would be irked by zecora's lines. Rhyming is not my strong point XD
Why can't Celestia and Luna take on the "demon pony"? They're practically goddesses, and this Abada seems like basically a rogue wizard.
Interesting concept. I've never read a story that deals with a zebra unicorn.
I do have some complaints though.
First is the pacing. Maybe it's just me, but this story seems to be moving really fast. I would have had the characters spend more time speculating on the zebacorn's (this is a word now) nature, rather than having them take the giant leaps i logic that they did. What about the attack speaks of personal revenge? It seems like an odd first step for the peaceful ponies to take.
The second point is your OC's: Blaze, Moon Trotter, and Cloud Bounce. If these three are going to be the other three elements of harmony, you should have spent a lot more time than you did establishing their characters. The only thing I know about any of the three of them is that CB is a pegasus, and that she's probably going to be the element of kindness. I don't even know for sure what type of ponies the other two are. If they're going to end up being main characters, you need to be sure we know who they are.
Update: I made a few changes to Zecora's dialogue. Not sure if it's better, but she seems to rhyme more than before.
Also, some of the story related questions will be answered in the oncoming chapters.
Thanks for all the feedback so far!