This is like a train wreck that you can't look away from! I love it! There's something about seeing Twilight go down a dark path that I always find so entertaining...what is wrong with me...
I still feel that this isn't being taken to maximum... uh... bad... ness... (I think it is that pesky conscience that keeps interfering) But then again, we've still got a few more Elements to go!
Wow, just wow. That is like tailor made to break Pinkie Pie. Kudos on figuring out what her personal hell would be. I can't think of any torture method that would be more brutally effective on Pinkie.
2827312 Well I don't know if I can really get down into quite the depths I would need to hit more than maybe the mid-60s on that hundred-point scale of yours. My plans for Applejack are probably the worst of the five, Fluttershy's and Rarity's are relatively tame by comparison. I'm more interested in tailoring each one to the Element they represent than maxing out the grossness.
2827570 Maybe. At that point she just wasn't letting them leave and figured she could talk them into it. It wasn't until her parents were killed that she really jumped into the deep end of the crazy pool.
2827684 The disconnect between how her relationship with Luna is really playing out and her conception of it is definitely getting wider and wider. Her dialogue before she bites Luna sounds like it's right out of a 50s sitcom, in total contrast to the clearly much darker events they're set against.
2827762 What's her alternative though? Accept that everything she's done is horrible and evil? We saw how well that worked in the void chamber. And clearly she knows on a subconscious level that her behavior is untenable, from that eyeball twitch when she's talking to Rainbow to locking herself into the room to crying while she's draining Luna.
2827809 Actual sensory deprivation is actually not nearly that awful. But yeah, A fear specifically design to circumvent her main coping method; laughter. Sorry Pinkie. Shouldn't have walked out of your contract negotiations for narrating a chapter of Fate
This is depressing as hell... it's really good... but still depressing. xD I don't think I want to read any other sad stories while this tale is going on... go to my happy place, go to my happy place, go to my happy place.
This has gone consistently from delightfully grimdark to some grade triple-A Richard Bachman stuff (if I recall, the pseudonym's published works are described as those of "Stephen King without a conscience"). There's plenty of room to go darker, pitch-black, and just as before it's utterly fascinating to watch Twilight follow what are to her a perfectly rational train of thoughts that all seem to stem from a singular, good intention: Having changelings and ponies coexist.
I'd daresay the only thing that, in continuity, makes this readable (without soul-crushing despair) is the knowledge one gains from the opening chapters of You Can Fight Fate (/spoiler'd on the next-to-nil chance that we aren't all following that story like raving madponies). After all, keep telling yourself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel--or in this case the abyss--and eventually you'll see one.
Oh! I thought this was over! Glad to see that it's not, this is a really intense chapter; I can't wait to see how the rest of the Elements fall.
I definitely like that Twilight's conception of the events around her are getting gradually less correlated to their reality (i.e. when her subconscious tries to kill her by locking her in the void chamber and she attributes it to a spasm or whatever, or her entire relationship with Luna). It's great for making us sympathize with a monster whose actions could not be otherwise defended.
I found Pinkies 'breaking' to be particularly horrifying. The way you worded it was like walking out in freezing weather while expecting it to be slightly brisk. Unexpectedly chilling.
Anyway, there's not much I can say that hasn't been said above. This, personally, is how 'dark' should be written: not shock factor, but careful manipulation of perceptions. Gore alone isn't dark; there's a reason for the phrase "bloody hilarious." It's the smaller things that are important, and you're doing it right.
The bit with Pinkie in the deprivation chamber was inspired, sir This continues to be the best Grim/Dark story out there, and I'm enjoying it far too much for me to be comfortable in my own skin anymore...maybe there's something (read; alot) wrong with me... seriously though, this rocks in all the scariest ways.
2834789 This story left 'good' a long time ago. Good implies morality and safety. With this, all I'm hoping for is compelling. You know, that thing where you want to keep watching but also want to be as far away from the proceedings as you can get.
Shit. I still think Pinkie got the worst. At least, from what I have seen yet. And you mention Applejack gets the worst.
I am scared.
It's great how you, even if it's a crazy and twisted version of out Twilight, I really, realy like how she's, somehow, the same. Well, she's not the same, but she wishes she had paied more attention to the effect of breaking the Element, and is planning to dissect Celestia.
Ah, this story would not be the same, AT ALL, if it was told in 3Âş person. Kudos, Eakin ^^
2836694 I would rather not think about that. Certainly it's what I meant to call back to when I wrote it, but Hard Reset isn't meant to be quite that dark.
Pchooooo... Well, damn. On the one hand, I think I should start feeling guilty about reading this story right about now. On the other, there's a part of me that wants nothing more than to see just how far Twilight will fall.
This story is turning out to be a nice inversion of a classic tragedy. Instead of watching her fall from power and social standing, we're watching as Twilight accrues more and more power. Instead of feeling her anguish as she comes to terms with her flaws, we're beginning to hate her for constantly denying her own imperfections. It's the opposite of a typical tragedy, a story where everything goes exactly as the protagonist wants it to.
And yet, at the end that we all know is coming, it's going to be the same as any other tragic tale. Every shred of Twilight's previous life and values will be utterly destroyed, and she'll have been betrayed by all those she held dear. And despite watching her every despicable act, despite listening to her slip deeper and deeper into self-deluded insanity... It's hard to not feel some shred of pity for the once adorable bookworm.
2841269 You know what would be cool? If there was a sequel to this side story, from Crazy Twilight's PoV that explained events after ASiT. It could go into the details we learned from YCFF about her madness, her self loathing, her epiphany, her freedom to explore the world, or how she got her alicorn status, or how she finds out about Azalea, or maybe when she goes to war against Luna for 50 years. There is almost too much to write, because of her unique situation it will almost never end. Although it was hinted that the loop spell may eventually destroy her alternate timeline and thus her, so that would be an interesting ending, to finally embrace death.
Dear Celestia I hope this is a thing, I'm rather curious now.
2847501 I'm going to do the cruelest thing I can imagine. Tell you that your second spoilered thing is a thing, that I've already written it for Fate, and that you will be exposing yourself to at least one gigantic spoiler for that story if you click here and read it.
2847519 Gah, I love spoiling myself, but I really like your story so I don't want to mess it up for myself either. But I'm really curious, but I don't want to ruin it! How could you make me choose like this? Your almost as bad as Twilight
This is probably one of the darkest stories I've ever read on this site. Loads of people can write dark, but this seems... I don't know, more real, since I know generally what Twi went through to get to this point.
In short, I'm slightly sick to my stomach after reading this. Well done.
I notice you started with Loyalty and Laughter first, and were absolutely BRUTAL in your crushing them. Kudos by the by. But this leads me to believe you didn't blow your load early. . . Which means that there are worse things in store for Honesty, Kindness, and Generosity. . . I suddenly feel very afraid for my favorite pony Apple Jack. . .
2856940 It's possible the "Local Settings" aren't saving. Make sure that you have cookies enabled and try again. I don't have cookies on for this site so all my Local Settings are reset every time I log in.
If it continues then try filing a bug report to Fimfiction.
This is starting to derive into some S grade crazy. And I am loving every bit of it.
And if there is such a thing, then Twilight might be very close to the evilness event horizon. But, I don't believe there is one. For example, many people say Hitler passed it and thus cant do good, but he did kill Hitler.
Holy mother of Celestia, that Twilight/Luna mind-meld was glorious. Bravo, good sir, this is absolutely fantastic in the most deliciously twisted ways possible!
2911684 I apologize. I had no intention of stealing it, I found it on tumblr and didn't realize that wasn't the original source. I'll find a new picture.
Well buck.
2823415
I can't wait for more!
This is like a train wreck that you can't look away from! I love it!
There's something about seeing Twilight go down a dark path that I always find so entertaining...what is wrong with me...
I still feel that this isn't being taken to maximum... uh... bad... ness... (I think it is that pesky conscience that keeps interfering) But then again, we've still got a few more Elements to go!
I am liking this!
I demand more!
"Silly Twilight! I can't just give up laughter. It's laughter!" said Pinkie.
My eyes narrow. "So you're picking them over me.
...you'd think she could have tried a little harder to convince people before just overpowering them. I guess that's part of her loop-driven insanity?
i knew they were both changelings... but why is she still deluding herself into thinking the love is real? it's just so heartbreaking...
Wow, just wow. That is like tailor made to break Pinkie Pie. Kudos on figuring out what her personal hell would be. I can't think of any torture method that would be more brutally effective on Pinkie.
2827281
mylargescale.com/1stclass/vsmith/Gomez-s-Train-Wreck.jpg
A beautiful wreck indeed.
I have one word for this, and that word is: Horrifying.
-Mis
2827312
Well I don't know if I can really get down into quite the depths I would need to hit more than maybe the mid-60s on that hundred-point scale of yours. My plans for Applejack are probably the worst of the five, Fluttershy's and Rarity's are relatively tame by comparison. I'm more interested in tailoring each one to the Element they represent than maxing out the grossness.
2827570
Maybe. At that point she just wasn't letting them leave and figured she could talk them into it. It wasn't until her parents were killed that she really jumped into the deep end of the crazy pool.
2827684
The disconnect between how her relationship with Luna is really playing out and her conception of it is definitely getting wider and wider. Her dialogue before she bites Luna sounds like it's right out of a 50s sitcom, in total contrast to the clearly much darker events they're set against.
2827762
What's her alternative though? Accept that everything she's done is horrible and evil? We saw how well that worked in the void chamber. And clearly she knows on a subconscious level that her behavior is untenable, from that eyeball twitch when she's talking to Rainbow to locking herself into the room to crying while she's draining Luna.
2827809
Actual sensory deprivation is actually not nearly that awful. But yeah, A fear specifically design to circumvent her main coping method; laughter. Sorry Pinkie. Shouldn't have walked out of your contract negotiations for narrating a chapter of Fate
2827909
Even Discord couldn't turn kindness. He had to give up and just make it happen.
...AJ might be easy to break. Just bring her family :(
2827992
While that was funny, I'll try to come up with something a little more creative.
2827998
Her family does get involved, sort of, in a way.
This is depressing as hell... it's really good... but still depressing.
xD I don't think I want to read any other sad stories while this tale is going on... go to my happy place, go to my happy place, go to my happy place.
This is her being nice?!?! Those rebels are fucked!
This has gone consistently from delightfully grimdark to some grade triple-A Richard Bachman stuff (if I recall, the pseudonym's published works are described as those of "Stephen King without a conscience"). There's plenty of room to go darker, pitch-black, and just as before it's utterly fascinating to watch Twilight follow what are to her a perfectly rational train of thoughts that all seem to stem from a singular, good intention: Having changelings and ponies coexist.
I'd daresay the only thing that, in continuity, makes this readable (without soul-crushing despair) is the knowledge one gains from the opening chapters of You Can Fight Fate (/spoiler'd on the next-to-nil chance that we aren't all following that story like raving madponies). After all, keep telling yourself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel--or in this case the abyss--and eventually you'll see one.
Oh! I thought this was over! Glad to see that it's not, this is a really intense chapter; I can't wait to see how the rest of the Elements fall.
I definitely like that Twilight's conception of the events around her are getting gradually less correlated to their reality (i.e. when her subconscious tries to kill her by locking her in the void chamber and she attributes it to a spasm or whatever, or her entire relationship with Luna). It's great for making us sympathize with a monster whose actions could not be otherwise defended.
I found Pinkies 'breaking' to be particularly horrifying.
The way you worded it was like walking out in freezing weather while expecting it to be slightly brisk. Unexpectedly chilling.
I think you mean "days."
Anyway, there's not much I can say that hasn't been said above. This, personally, is how 'dark' should be written: not shock factor, but careful manipulation of perceptions. Gore alone isn't dark; there's a reason for the phrase "bloody hilarious." It's the smaller things that are important, and you're doing it right.
The bit with Pinkie in the deprivation chamber was inspired, sir
This continues to be the best Grim/Dark story out there, and I'm enjoying it far too much for me to be comfortable in my own skin anymore...maybe there's something (read; alot) wrong with me...
seriously though, this rocks in all the scariest ways.
Why is everyone saying good chapter? There was no good here!
2834789
This story left 'good' a long time ago. Good implies morality and safety. With this, all I'm hoping for is compelling. You know, that thing where you want to keep watching but also want to be as far away from the proceedings as you can get.
I'm just loving this Twilight, why can't the cannon Twilight be more like this....wait, what?
Shit. I still think Pinkie got the worst. At least, from what I have seen yet. And you mention Applejack gets the worst.
I am scared.
It's great how you, even if it's a crazy and twisted version of out Twilight, I really, realy like how she's, somehow, the same. Well, she's not the same, but she wishes she had paied more attention to the effect of breaking the Element, and is planning to dissect Celestia.
Ah, this story would not be the same, AT ALL, if it was told in 3Âş person. Kudos, Eakin ^^
2836694 I would rather not think about that. Certainly it's what I meant to call back to when I wrote it, but Hard Reset isn't meant to be quite that dark.
But probably something similar or related
I'm happy and disturbed at the same time. But ultimately I want to know how this twilight ended up became an alicorn after the Nth Reset.
Pchooooo... Well, damn. On the one hand, I think I should start feeling guilty about reading this story right about now. On the other, there's a part of me that wants nothing more than to see just how far Twilight will fall.
This story is turning out to be a nice inversion of a classic tragedy. Instead of watching her fall from power and social standing, we're watching as Twilight accrues more and more power. Instead of feeling her anguish as she comes to terms with her flaws, we're beginning to hate her for constantly denying her own imperfections. It's the opposite of a typical tragedy, a story where everything goes exactly as the protagonist wants it to.
And yet, at the end that we all know is coming, it's going to be the same as any other tragic tale. Every shred of Twilight's previous life and values will be utterly destroyed, and she'll have been betrayed by all those she held dear. And despite watching her every despicable act, despite listening to her slip deeper and deeper into self-deluded insanity... It's hard to not feel some shred of pity for the once adorable bookworm.
Damn. Now that's what I call some good writing.
... Fuck!
Wait... When the hell did this update and why didn't I get the notice?
~Skeeter The Lurker
2841269
You know what would be cool? If there was a sequel to this side story, from Crazy Twilight's PoV that explained events after ASiT. It could go into the details we learned from YCFF about her madness, her self loathing, her epiphany, her freedom to explore the world, or how she got her alicorn status, or how she finds out about Azalea, or maybe when she goes to war against Luna for 50 years. There is almost too much to write, because of her unique situation it will almost never end. Although it was hinted that the loop spell may eventually destroy her alternate timeline and thus her, so that would be an interesting ending, to finally embrace death.
Dear Celestia I hope this is a thing, I'm rather curious now.
2847501
I'm going to do the cruelest thing I can imagine. Tell you that your second spoilered thing is a thing, that I've already written it for Fate, and that you will be exposing yourself to at least one gigantic spoiler for that story if you click here and read it.
2847519
Gah, I love spoiling myself, but I really like your story so I don't want to mess it up for myself either. But I'm really curious, but I don't want to ruin it!
How could you make me choose like this? Your almost as bad as Twilight
I guess the real question is, do I want to go deeper down the rabbit hole or not.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/fluttershyandmatrix.gif
I still don't know which to choose...
This is probably one of the darkest stories I've ever read on this site. Loads of people can write dark, but this seems... I don't know, more real, since I know generally what Twi went through to get to this point.
In short, I'm slightly sick to my stomach after reading this. Well done.
Woah, you weren't kidding about this story being grimdark. Imagine if something like this happened on the show.
... oh wait ...
Also, argh, obviously they're both changelings. Oldest one in the book!
You know, I'm not very familiar with the levels of how dark a story can get, and these comments seem to say that this story is
OVER 9000!!!!!!
And um... more sex
2847175 It won't unless you check the "View Mature" box in your drop-down menu.
2856924
I ALWAYS have that checked. Still no notification.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I notice you started with Loyalty and Laughter first, and were absolutely BRUTAL in your crushing them.
Kudos by the by.
But this leads me to believe you didn't blow your load early. . .
Which means that there are worse things in store for Honesty, Kindness, and Generosity. . .
I suddenly feel very afraid for my favorite pony Apple Jack. . .
2856940 It's possible the "Local Settings" aren't saving. Make sure that you have cookies enabled and try again. I don't have cookies on for this site so all my Local Settings are reset every time I log in.
If it continues then try filing a bug report to Fimfiction.
2858004
This isn't the only time it's happened to me.
I already did so.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2858020 It's been happening to me too. So I think it's most likely a bug.
This is starting to derive into some S grade crazy. And I am loving every bit of it.
And if there is such a thing, then Twilight might be very close to the evilness event horizon. But, I don't believe there is one. For example, many people say Hitler passed it and thus cant do good, but he did kill Hitler.
It's unfortunate that this story has more description and creativity than your latest time-travel story.
Two out of three ain't that bad at least.
Is it weird that I love this? Or is that normal? Does it even matter anymore? Good show...
Holy mother of Celestia, that Twilight/Luna mind-meld was glorious.
Bravo, good sir, this is absolutely fantastic in the most deliciously twisted ways possible!
2828012
I don't know if you've read any of the Pony POV series... but in that one, Fluttershy was broken by being exposed to how cruel nature really can be.
Or you could always just have Twilight introduce her to bacon.
Stolen artwork! Please report it!
Original is here: sakuyamon.deviantart.com/art/Changeling-Twilight-Sparkle-Element-of-Curses-328380939
2911684
I apologize. I had no intention of stealing it, I found it on tumblr and didn't realize that wasn't the original source. I'll find a new picture.
2912289
Thank you^^