Chapter XII
Battle Watcher Althis Kan gently stroked his graying mane as he stared at the view screen. On the screen he could see the asteroid field that he and his crew had hidden themselves in during their stay in the system. They weren't really hiding from anything in particular, just patrolling for Dridune spy ships. They had already caught a few unmanned ones this week, but nothing major though.
If Kan were to be honest with himself, he was bored. He was a warrior, and he was stuck here patrolling the Kaldis System watching for enemy incursion.
“Sir, I've got incoming,” Ensign Smith said, turning to his Lionel commander.
“Where?” Kan asked, straightening up a bit in his chair.
“Satellite four. It looks small, probably a frigate or something similar,” the human said as he input a few more commands into the console in front of him.
“Put it on screen,” he ordered, his demeanor unchanged.
“Yessir,” the helmsman said as he input the command. The view screen instantly changed to reveal the viewpoint of satellite four as it orbited around the last planet of the Kaldis System. It was definitely Dridune, though it didn't look like a military vessel. “What is a Dridune civilian ship doing way out here? Do Dridune even have civilians?” Ensign Smith asked in confusion.
“Of course they do. How do you think they're able to finance their war effort? Every intelligent species has civilians. Never forget that ensign,” Kan said, frowning at the helmsman. Ensign Smith looked suitably chastised at that remark as he turned back to his instruments, which made Kan smile a bit to himself.
“However...” Kan said, standing up as he did so. “You still raise an interesting point. What is a Dridune civilian ship doing this far from Dridune space?” he said thoughtfully.
Silence pervaded throughout the bridge of The Raven. After a couple seconds of this, Kan sat back down in his seat. “Set an intercept course. Let's find out what-” Kan started to say, but was interrupted by his communications officer. “Sir, that ship is broadcasting an open transmission. I think you'll want to hear this,” she said, turning to face her commander.
Kan motioned her to play it, his eyebrow raised in curiosity as he did so. Almost instantly a voice started to play through The Raven's speakers.
“-Repeat, this is Lieutenant Captain Zachary Hale of the Galactic Alliance Space Navy. Is there anyone out there? We require assistance and an escort back to an Alliance Homeworld. I repeat, we request an escort. Can anyone here me?”
There was a brief pause, then the message started to repeat itself. “What are your orders, Sir?” the helmsman asked Kan, turning slightly in his seat as he did so.
He looks worried. As he should. Captain Hale was presumed dead after the capture of the Valhalla. Kan thought to himself. To see the Captain return alive was a miracle.
If it wasn't a trap.
“Open a subspace channel to Allion. Tell them we have a Dridune ship coming in, and that they need to enact Nautilus Protocols,” he said to his communications officer. “Once you've finished with that, cloak us and maneuver us out of the asteroid field and into weapons range of that ship,” he said as he settled a bit into his chair.
This was going to be interesting.
* * *
“I do not believe anyone is out there Captain,” Hexomer said, looking down at Hale as he did so.
“Nah, they're out there. This is a key sector, what with the nearby Qualish colony and their deep space telescope,” he said, waving her off as he did so.
“Then why have they not answered yet? You must have played that message twelve times by now!” she said in annoyance.
“Well, they're probably following Nautilus Protocols and calling for backup. Although, at this point, they're probably cloaked and sneaking up on us,” Hale said as he kicked his legs up onto the face of the console in front of him.
Hexomer just looked at him like he was crazy when he said that. “Why are you not worried about this? They might be getting ready to kill us!” she shouted at him.
“Because, according to Nautilus Protocols they have to give us the benefit of the doubt. They can't just destroy us with no good reason, and with backup coming, they know that they can take us if we turn on them.” Hale said, waving off her concern. “They know that there is a very, very good chance that none of us are who we say we are. However, if there is the slightest chance that we are, or that we're Alliance spies, they will hold their fire,” he said.
Hexomer looked unconvinced at that. However, if Hale noticed, he didn't show it. “Just you wait, they will decloak right about... there,” he said, pointing to a patch of empty space on the view screen. The patch he pointed at was roughly three o'clock off their starboard.
“What makes you so sure they would appear there?” Hexomer asked dubiously.
“Just a gut feeling I have. Just give them about ten minutes for backup to send word that they are on their way,” he answered as he settled himself into a more comfortable spot.
Sure enough, after ten minutes of waiting, a ship materialized off their port bow. When this happened though, Hale snapped his fingers in frustration. “Dang, wrong side,” he said in mocking tone of voice.
The ship that materialized looked like a predator. It was a large one, probably a cruiser, though Hexomer had trouble placing what species was responsible for its design. It had large, swept back wings and a nose that made it look like a bird of prey. On top, there were two, forward facing crescent fins that looked like scythes. Hexomer could see several gun ports lining the beast, as well as four front mounted torpedo bays. The whole thing was painted a deep red, with a gray bird of some sort painted on each of its wings.
She gulped nervously, hoping that Hale was right about this 'Nautilus Protocol'.
“Hmm... That looks like a Lionel ship. Nice, I didn't know any were posted out here,” Hale said as he took his feet off the console.
The console in front of him started to make a beeping noise, alerting Hale that they were being hailed. With a thought, he patched the communications through to the view screen in front of him. Instantly the view of the Lionel ship was replaced by a view of its bridge.
The bridge had a distinctly imposing feel to it, what with its dim lighting, its intimidating tapestries that hung from the walls, and the throne-like commander's chair that bespoke of power. In the chair sat an aged Lionel, his gray mane showing traces of a deep red running through it. His uniform had a draping, robe-like quality that announced his rank as a Battle Watcher. It was a deep, rich red trimmed in gold with the symbol of the Lionel Empire emblazoned on its front.
“I am Battle Watcher Althis Kan, according to Alliance protocol, you are to power down your ship's engines and prepare to be boarded. Any resistance will be met with lethal force, is that understood?” the Lionel ordered in a business-like manner.
Hale gave the Battle Watcher a crisp salute. “Understood sir. Be advised that we have a Dridune aboard. We've kept her sedated, so she shouldn't pose much of a problem. Everyone aboard could also use a shower, seeing as how this ship only has one, and there are twenty-one of us aboard,” Hale said as he powered down the ship's engines.
Kan nodded at this, seemingly pleased with Hale's complacency with his orders. “As you know, captain, I cannot trust anything that you say until Naval Intelligence has cleared you and your crew. But, if you are really who you say you are, then let me be the first to welcome you back,” Kan said, a slight smile appearing on his face.
Hale cracked a smile of his own at this as he dropped his salute. “It's good to be back,” he said.
* * *
Captain Hale patiently sat in the clean, white room. He was currently hooked up to a number of machines that were monitoring several of his vitals, namely his brain activity and his heart rate. In front of him sat a tall Peli in a long white coat with a datapad, an expression of interest on his face.
The room also contained two guards with stun weapons, but frankly they were unnecessary at this point. They had already stripped Hale of most of his cybernetics, so it wasn't like he could actually manufacture an escape if he wanted to, not when he was missing both his arms and legs.
“Then what happened?” the Peli in the white coat asked after making a note on the datapad.
“Well, through the pain, I felt my arm raise, and my pulse cannon come online. I ordered my arm to stop, when to my surprise, it did. Then, without warning, the pain suddenly ceased, leaving me gasping for air. I looked around, trying to make sure that everyone was alright, when I saw the purple unicorn thing. She was glowing.”
This actually wasn't the first time he had told this story. Nor would it be the last, if Hale was to be a judge of these sorts of things. He and his companions had been behind enemy lines, subjected by their own admission to the mental abilities of a Psywarrior. That being said, he and his friends had been subject to a battery of tests to detect if Psywarrior programming was present in any of them.
The questionnaire continued for another hour, until finally the scientist seemed to have everything he needed. “Thank you for your time, captain. Hopefully everything you've said is true, and you'll be able to return to active duty soon,” he said a little apologetically.
Hale didn't say anything. He knew protocol, he knew that the doctor was just saying that to make him feel better.
However, Hale also knew that he would pass all of their tests, so he wasn't too worried about that.
What he was worried about was what they would do with Twilight.
“Is there anything you require before I leave?” the doctor asked, quirking an eyebrow at the immobile human.
“Nah, I'm good. I still have a couple of books in my library that I haven't read yet, so take your time,” he said with a rueful expression on his face.
The doctor merely shrugged at this and left as Hale brought up his book reader in his ocular implant. As he scrolled through the selections, he stopped on one and opened it. It may have been an oldie, but considering everything that has happened, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe may be just what he needed.
Especially given the long talks he had had with a magical unicorn during the return flight.
* * *
Doctor Morith strode down the halls as he made notes on his datapad. Outside, he radiated an aura of calm and clinical detachment.
Inside, however, all he felt was a profound sadness. It was clear that Captain Hale and his fellow escapees were all victims of Psywarrior reprogramming. It was really quite sad, though. They had made so many advances in technology and neuroscience, yet they were no closer to removing the taint of a Psywarrior from a victim's mind.
However, as insidious as the Dridune mind control was, it was actually pretty easy to spot, medically at least. When a Psywarrior “adjusted” someone, they actually rewrote the victim's brain. This kind of tampering always left a mark that could be seen using a simple MRI scan.
The problem was triggering the damage. You had to get the patient to think about their past, preferably about either their programming, or when the programming occurred, in order for the damage to appear on the MRI. Fortunately, they knew the time period during which the reprogramming would have taken place, which helped immensely.
Quietly, he opened the door to the main labs. His colleagues were all busy going over the various readings from all the testing that they had put the escapees through. “So, what do we have?” he asked in a resigned tone of voice.
Fredrick quickly motioned to Morinth, his hands folded in front of him and his face a mask of concentration. “I think you'll want to see this for yourself,” he said as he frowned in concentration.
Morinth took a look at the computer screen that Fredrick was staring at. It showed several MRI scans of the captain's brain. “Do you notice anything strange?” Fredrick asked quietly.
Morinth looked at the computer screen for a few minutes. “No, I can't say that I do,” he said slowly.
“Neither can I. I've gone over this scan over and over again. Usually when you ask about the event, the victim's whole brain lights up like a Christmas tree. During the whole time you were in there, I have found nothing strange,” Fredrick said, turning quickly in his chair.
Doctor Morinth was in shock. “Does this mean that the Psywarriors have found an untraceable way to corrupt our soldiers?” he asked in disbelief.
The human merely shook his head at that. “I don't think so. Infiltrator Jaleth has clear signs of Dridune tampering. I also called one of our other labs while you were busy; they just got a bunch of victims in that all showed clear signs of tampering this morning,” he said, his excitement building.
There was silence in the whole lab at this statement. The other scientists were all looking at the two of them, excitement written on all of their faces.
“...Call Naval Intelligence. We need to let them know what we have here. Also, we may have a problem,” Morinth said seriously.
“What's that?” Fredrick asked curiously.
“We just let something that mentally overpowered a Psywarrior into this base,” Morinth said quietly. “As of now, this facility is under quarantine.”
* * *
Twilight sat quietly in her clean room, patiently twiddling her hooves as she did so. True to her word to Captain Hale, she had refrained from using her abilities as soon as they had been picked up. The scientists had sat her down for a bit and had asked her a few questions. Mainly, the questions had been about her, but they had asked a few about her species and home planet as well. She had answered each question honestly, then they had left.
However, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Despite the fact that she was no longer in danger of a vivisection, she still felt like a prisoner. Sure, they had given her some decent food and a bed to lie down on. She also felt far safer than she had in over a month, not to mention that the shower she had taken had been pure bliss. She hadn't been allowed to leave the room, however, and her toilet was in the same room with her.
Also, the guards near the door did nothing to alleviate the impression that she was being held prisoner.
As she was contemplating her current predicament, she heard a faint buzzing noise come from the direction of the door. Quickly, her head perked up at the sound to see a gray haired, white clad Peli enter the room. In his hands he carried a small, gray, rectangular device that Twilight recognized as one of those 'datapads' that Donny would use. On his blue face he wore a pair of half-moon spectacles and a nervous smile as he slowly approached the circular table that Twilight was sitting at.
“Hello, Twilight. My name is Doctor Alexander Morinth,” he said as he sat down, his deep voice rumbling a bit as he did so. “On behalf of the Galactic Alliance, I'd like to welcome you to our facility. I was hoping you could answer a few questions for us.”
“Okay,” Twilight said meekly. She glanced nervously at the guards behind him, then looked back at him. “Am I a prisoner?” she asked quietly.
The doctor let out a quiet sigh at this. “Well, technically, yes and no. Are you guilty of any crimes? No. In fact, according to Captain Hale, we should probably be giving you a medal of some sort. Do we need to keep you here? Yes,” he said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You see, you're an unknown. The only contact we've had with a psychic species before has led to war and enslavement. We've never encountered a friendly psychic species before, and therefore we have no clue how to treat this situation.”
Twilight shook her head at this however. “I'm not psychic,” she said quickly. He just glanced at her when she said this, his eyes clearly telling her that he didn't believe her. “I'm not! I can't hear thoughts, or communicate telepathically, or anything similar to that!” she said defensively.
“Well, then could you please tell me how you managed to defeat a Psywarrior, and protect nine others from mental domination?” he asked, clearly not believing her for a second.
“Magic,” she replied. Morinth carefully tapped on his datapad a couple of times, then looked back up at her. “Right, Captain Hale mentioned that you called your psychic power 'magic' before. He also mentioned that you were able to manipulate objects using telekinesis, not to mention you removed a potent drug from his system,” he said carefully.
“Yes, I did, but I didn't use 'psychic power.' What I did was I manipulated the magical field that surrounded Hale and the others using my own magical field,” Twilight said, slightly irritated that the scientist didn't believe her on this small subject.
The scientist gave her an odd look, then typed a few more things on his datapad. “Ok, let's say I believe you. What sort of effects is this 'magic' capable of, and is it unique to your species alone?” he asked carefully.
Twilight looked up at him, her chin resting on her hoof. “I think that those questions would be best answered out of order. Magic is something everything possessing a soul is capable of. As to what magic can do, well, that really depends upon the species and individual,” she said, her eyes glimmering slightly as she said this.
“...Are you a professor of some kind? Because you seem very knowledgeable about this subject,” Morinth asked, his eyebrow quirking slightly as he said this.
Twilight blushed a bit at that, her smile becoming a bit flustered. “No, I'm just a student who studies magic,” she said dismissively.
“That would explain your familiarity with the subject matter,” he said, straightening a bit. “But back to my previous question, what did you mean by it depends upon the individual and the species?” he asked curiously.
Twilight thought for a second, carefully choosing her words. This is his first encounter with the fifth force, so I need to use terms he can understand. However, despite them having no experience with the fifth force, they have mastered the other four so completely as to be able to travel the stars, she thought, putting her hooves to her temples. How is that even possible? How can they know so much, yet be completely ignorant of one of the fundamental forces of nature?
“Magic...changes... depending on the genetic code of the individual. Part of that code is specifically for how your body processes and exerts magic. However, magic is also inseparably tied to the spirit of the one who wields it, so even if someone changes their race, their spirit will still remember who they are. Even with all of that, magic still acts like a muscle: The more you use it, the stronger it becomes,” she said after some thought.
The Peli tapped his datapad a few more times at that. “So, what kinds of things are you capable of? Besides what we've already talked about,” he said carefully.
“Oh, I can do all sorts of things! I can cause sudden and rapid hair growth, I can manipulate certain atmospheric and meteorological patterns, I can produce light, transmute matter, create illusions, produce magical shields, and teleport!” she said, beaming up at the disbelieving scientist.
“Teleport?” He asked incredulously.
“Yup!” Twilight said, and with that she winked out of existence in a flash of purple light.
The scientist bolted up at this as his guards reached for their weapons. However, all of them stopped when they heard Twilight's voice behind them. “With proper training, you can do these things too. However, I really don't think it would be a good idea if I taught you anything yet,” she said as the beleaguered scientist spun in place.
Twilight stood six feet behind him, her stance completely nonthreatening. Before the guards could do anything rash, Doctor Morinth put his hands on each of their weapons. He said something to them that Twilight couldn't understand, which caused them to back down a bit. He then looked back at her with a guarded expression on his face. “Why wouldn't that be a good idea?” he asked slowly.
She looked up at him, her face unreadable. “I have to ask my mentor and ruler Princess Celestia. However, seeing as how you and your friends have been defending free thought across the galaxy, I can't really see her saying 'no,'” she took a deep breath after saying this, then looked him dead in the eye, a hopeful look on her face. “Also, I want to go home. I want to see my family again,” she said, tearing up as she did so.
* * *
Doctor Morinth was impressed. Despite the immense power that this creature held, she did not try to impose her will upon others. Her first instinct was to try diplomacy, and she clearly held free will in very high regard.
Hope was fluttering in his chest. Maybe, just maybe she was who she said she was. She probably could have busted out of here at any moment, turning him and his colleagues into her slaves.
But she didn't even consider that to be an option.
Slowly, he inhaled as an idea came to him. “Twilight, you know how you protected others from the Psywarrior?” he asked. After she had nodded to him, he lowered himself until he was kneeling in front of her, his eyes level with hers. “Well, we have people here who are still suffering from Psywarrior control...” he said, taking a deep cleansing breath afterwards. “Can... can your magic cure the damage that has been done to them?” he asked hopefully as he looked at her tear-stained face.
* * *
Battle Master Tilok Vi struggled against the padded restraints that held him bound. He had to get out of here, had to return to his masters.
These beasts couldn't hold him here forever. He was unconquerable! He had the holy strength of his beloved masters backing him! Never in a thousand years could they turn him from his crusade.
Tilok's acute ears swiveled at the sound of the door opening. Probably the heretics come to try and break him again. Well, try whatever torture they wanted, it would all come to naught. He would never submit to them. When his masters finally came to collect him, he would be hailed as a hero!
The lights suddenly came on, temporarily blinding him, forcing him to squint. As soon as he saw the small purple equine, her two guards and that accursed doctor, he immediately strained against his restraints, snapping his muzzle while he attempted to reach his hated foe. With each snap, he let out a terrifying bark, warning them that if they got too close, they would suffer for their gall.
However, since he was wearing a muzzle, the Wolofor's threats were just that. Threats. He knew that some day, however, that the Dridune would come for him, and cleanse this accursed world in holy fire.
As he barked, he became aware of the table he was tied to slowly being tilted back. He did did not care, though. Whatever the torture that they had devised, it wouldn't work on him. His masters had enlightened him, had given him strength and purpose, had given him the way of the Emperor.
He didn't even register when the tip of something hard touched his forehead. he did register what happened next, however.
Sights, smells, sounds, tastes and feelings bombarded him. He convulsed, thrashed, and screamed as the pain roared through his entire being. He was being annihilated down to his very last cell. Have they finally decided that he was too strong? That they should just kill him?
Would... would he dream? He was afraid. So very, very afraid. His masters hadn't been too specific on what happened when you died.
His last thought was a prayer. Please, Master. Save me!
Or at the very least, avenge me...
* * *
Tilok Vi blearily opened his eyes. Then immediately started to cry. I... I just opened my eyes... I OPENED MY EYES! He thought, as tears freely fell from his now responsive eyes. Somewhere close by he heard the sound of hooves clopping on the tiled floor, but he ignored it as he attempted to move the rest of his body.
On command, the claws on his front paws twitched, each of the four digits moving at his glorious, blessed command. He couldn't move his arms too much though, on account of the restraints holding him to the table. However, that mattered little compared to the incredible feeling of being able to move his own body again. How long has it been since I've been able to feel that glorious feeling? he thought as his sobs increased dramatically.
Somewhere close by, he heard a female say something that he couldn't understand. Slowly, he turned his head to look at the source of the voice. To his right, he saw the purple equine from before.
At that moment, she was the most beautiful thing in the cosmos.
His ears flickered as he heard his restraints being released. All four, at the same time. The doctor said something to the equine, but was waved off as she said something in response.
As soon as he was free, Tilok sprung from his bed, knelt down, and hugged his tiny purple savior.
“Thank you... Thank you so very much...” he said as he cried into her shoulder.
* * *
Admiral Zelgius looked over the reports on his desk in despair. Frankly, the war wasn't going very well for the Alliance, and everybody in command knew it. The Dridune had recently taken Melthos Prime, and had re-purposed the shipyards there for their own purposes, bringing the total number of Alliance worlds they had taken up to seventy-five. If only they had some way of getting past their Psychic Net, they could hope to maybe retake some of these planets.
But, as things stood, the Alliance could only defend. Any soldiers that they lost to the Psywarrior's control were lost for good. Any that they took alive had been committed to a psychiatric ward, while those that they were unlucky enough to not take back just swelled the ranks of the Dridune's slave army.
Zelgius put his head between his hands and groaned. He needed a miracle, or else the Dridune were going to succeed at their crusade...
Just then, his computer started to play its alarm sound, signifying that he had an incoming communication. He just groaned at that, shaking his head in disbelief. What now? He thought in frustration. He never got a communication anymore unless it was bad news, and it was really starting to take a toll on him.
“Computer, patch in the communication.” He said in resignation.
Two hours later, Zelgius burst from his office, eyes wide and heart racing. His eyes swept the reception area until he located his secretary. “Private Viers, cancel all my appointments, and ready my ship,” he said in a rush.
“Shall I give a reason to the Council why you cannot make it to the war meeting?” he asked in a confused tone of voice.
“Tell them a miracle just fell into our laps,” Zelgius said, grinning as he did so.
4548224 Thanks for the advice. When I have time, I'll go through and fix that. Also, I'm glad your enjoying my story so much!
Another update? Awesome!
MOOOOOAR!
Awesome chapter! This place in fic have soooo many ways for next chapters :) I really look forward for your next chapters
Things are getting really interesting now that we're out of the station~
Great story with plenty of awesomeness.
4559213 Indeed. They found out the Twilight is an unstopable weapon that could win the war, and is either going to hold her prisoner as their secret weapon, or bring her home and enslave her race to help win the war and then wipe them out so they can't turn on them. You know, normal human military practice.
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Excellent chapter, but like I stated in the last one, you confuse homonyms. When comparing something, the word is "than"; possessives, the words are "their", which you used correctly on occasion, and "your", conjunctions, the words are "they're" for "they are", "you're" for "you are", "let's" for let us, so on and so forth.
Keep it up, I can't wait to see what Celestia's reaction will be when she finds out the Dridune abducted her personal student. If the Dridune fear Twilight Sparkle, Celestia will crank up that fear.
4559845 These people aren't like that. They have seen the dridune perpetuate untold horrors, and they would be appalled if they did the same thing.
plus, humanity only makes a portion of the alliance. there are one hundred species, all with a voice in how the government is run.
However, I do promise that the Alliance isn't perfect, and that there may be some problems later down the road.
4559213 I'm glad you think so!
Oh goddess no, not the teary doe eyes, anything but that! Hnnnnngh!
And you thought the Druidine psywarriors could crush the will of their opponents with a glance... they got nothing on ponies.
If I had to guess the future, I'd say it's now a race to see who can find the planet Twilight came from (Equis? Dirt? Er, I mean Earth?) to gain their allegiance and protect that incalculably valuable resource; an entire planet of superweapons and at least three god-like beings that control the very fabric of Reality as we know it. (Can't toss around celestial bodies without thumbing- er, hoofing your nose at Reality)
Then again, how the hell did the Druidine capture Twilight in the first place??? This question has never has been explored much in the mad dash to escape. Was Dirt, ah, Equis already conquered somehow? Was it a manned/unmanned scout ship plucking random lifeforms to see what new targets the Druidine Empire should get next? The last option smacks of something I'd seen before in the Stargate series, space vampires nabbing people in small ships with short range teleporters to be stuffed into stasis until it's feeding time back on the mother ship... kinda like Changelings too, if they didn't bother to send back a copy of the prisoner for more love-energy as well.
4564176 Glad you like it so much! but you know I can't tell you anything. you'll have to wait with everybody else!
1800 views! Woot!
After stumbling upon this story and having blown through the available chapters, I must say it has been a very pleasing experience. The backdrop of your original SciFi universe is quite interesting and your characterization is strong, which allowed me to stay immersed even during the exposition-heavy (telling instead of showing and all that) opening chapters and you managed to reel me in pretty quickly even when all the different races and terminology and made-up terms tarted to come in.
Which is something of a feat, because this is one of the thing people rarely seem to hit on the mark - there have been plenty of SciFi fics that manage to drown the reader in their unique backgrounds in a fairly uninspiring manner, the narrative quickly becoming a tedious drone of terms and names I have no motivation to memorize. Here, though, you quickly managed to paint a crisp and engaging mental image of your universe and I have a clear image of the few alien species that have played a role, so good job on that.
Your Twilight has been pretty spot on as well, from her approach to crisis management to her "adorkable" personality that manages to shine through despite the circumstances to the general "voice" your portrayal of her has - you have nailed our favorite purple unicorn quite well. You have also done a very good job at having her actually utilize the full range (or nearly so) of the abilities she has displayed in the show and build up on them, which makes this story all the more engaging.
There have been quite a few war fics staring Twilight that I have seen quickly lose appeal because they have her, apparently, forget any form of magic she has ever performed aside from a weak rendition of telekinesis, and it's always good to see a story that tackles her full ability set - and acknowledges that, from a conventional perspective, she would be an absolute slippery nightmare to deal with. Looking towards whatever other wrenches she can throw in the psychic squidhead wheels.
And naturally, I can't wait to see where the story goes from here, now that Twilight and co have escaped the station. Obviously the alliance will be all over Twilight/the ponies now that she has demonstrated the ability to "cure" psywarrior indoctrination, and Pinkie's little mental avatar thing (which was probably more self-aware than i would have otherwise been :P) did say Twilight is coming home soon, so I imagine the alliance will be making contact with Equis(?) soon enough. Which only makes sense I guess - no matter how powerful, Twilight is only one pony and can only do so much - the number of indoctrinated people (assuming it was no exaggeration that psywarriors can take over entire planets) at this point in time must number in billions - no matter how awesome and willing to help Twilight would be, she could spend her whole life unfucking the mindraped people and barely make a dent, I imagine.
Though I do wonder how many unicorns there are who can actually jump straight to helping the poor souls - assuming Celestia signs up with the alliance and offers full support, that doesn't change the fact that Twilight is hardly your regular old unicorn. I imagine the number of unicorns qualified to muck about in the minds of others is fairly limited at this time (until they train up more specifically to handle the magic required), especially as Twilight hinted that mind magic is kinda frowned upon in Equestria. Granted, she herself has employed it on several occasions in the show (mindfucking parasprites, fruit bats, Fluttershy ... and restoring her friends from Discord's influence, obviously), but then I imagine as Celestia's student she probably has had access to materials and permissions to practice stuff your regular unicorn, outside of doctors and secret service agents in this case, doesn't really have access to. Either way, assuming we are looking at a full blown first contact scenario, I am very much looking towards it.
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And on another-another note, color me intrigued with the backstory you are apparently building up with the whole Freedom/Tyranny thing. Unless I am completely off my rocker here with this speculation, I am going to assume those two were the last members of Draconequus race ... and Freedom took his namesake further over the aeons and (after going nuts) became Discord (chaos is kinda like freedom with all the brakes removed) and Tyranny became the current Dridune emperor (assuming the mentions of him being godlike and immortal weren't hyperbole), continuing his quest of bringing ultimate order to galaxy - after all, there is no ruckus if everyone is mindcontrolled in to submission ...
I imagine they could probe Discord for a few answers, assuming Twilight connects her dreams with anything she might learn from Hale once he comes to talk to her regarding the whole ancient Chimeric language that she consider old Equestrian.
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On a side note (which is totally different from Another note), I wonder how a psywarrior would fare in an attempt to mindrape, say, Luna - after all, they aren't used to having their prey fighting back (or even having the ability to), and there is the whole bit that it's possible to perish when invading the mind of someone else due to their inner demons attacking you - or rather that being a certainty that psywarriors have learned to resist. I wonder how one would stack up against the inner demons of a millenia old immortal who has been to the dark side and back, among other things she has experienced in her impossibly long life. I reckon the experience of trying to mind-dive someone like that (on top of the workings of subconscious mind being her specialty) would be a fairly unique experience
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Regarding how they captured Twilight: it was mentioned that her planet sits deep inside Alliance space and that it was some small scouting vessel that managed to nab a specimen and then hightail it out of there ... so I assume one of the space squid scouts landed in the Everfree (all the bad and smelly things crawl out of there :P), made towards the nearest settlement, that being Ponyville, and probably laid in ambush waiting for a convenient local to abduct.
Probably got the drop on Twilight while she was trekking to Zecora's or something, shooting her with some sort of a tranqulizer/stun gun from the bushes before she got a chance to react, I imagine. Wouldn't work otherwise, but Twilight hardly walks around combat ready and with defenses up all the time (though she might start now ).
Then grab his loot and rush back to the ship and floor the pedal before anyone realizes that Twilight is missing, and this time it's not because she has locked herself away in her basement to conduct unspeakable experiments of questionable morality ... or indulge in a book reading spree with no interruptions.
Or at least that's how I imagine it happened, might be completely wrong of course.
4570343 um... wow. Thanks so much for the extremely insightful comment! I really wasn't expecting this sort of thing when I woke up this morning, but I cannot say that I am disappointed!
Anyway, yeah the first couple of chapters are full of exposition, and to be honest, the only one of those that I was happy with was chapter one. I must have spent months working on chapter three, but finally I said "screw it, good enough. I'm never going to get to the meat of the story if I don't get on with it." I'll probably go back and change it eventually, but for now, not so much.
Thanks for noticing all the deep background info that I hid as well! I love it when my readers pay attention like that!
As for all the speculation, I really can't say anything other then:
media.tumblr.com/cc7c318d424f4d1484825d9a3ef6829d/tumblr_inline_mwtge32uyt1rzell3.png
Sorry for the late reply but only recently I have some free time
Ok firstly I really like this story I want you to know that
I hope that what I write here will help you in the slightest degree to make it even better
I'm not a writer and I do not have too much experience in creating anything so feel free to ignore everything I say
What disturbing me is time and distance in relation to the dynamics of the story.
Space is big, and when I say big I mean really big.
Remember that everything that moves in space needs time to move from one point to another. I do not know if you had the chance to read any of the novels that David Weber wrote. I would highly recommend any book of the "Honor Harrington" series.
I do not know what you're planning to do with your story or do want it to end soon but if you planning to add some content to the world that you build you need to slow down.
I can turn a blind eye to communicate faster than light within a single planetary system but the communication between the systems must take a little more time than normal.
But let's say that in the future they will have the technology, so I will not cling to it even though it is a little inconvenient.
The same goes for interstellar travel. I'll guess that escape from the station and reaching a safe space took our heroes a little more than a few days, maybe two or three weeks. And still we talk only about one ship a real problem starts when you intend to move large fleets. I hope you see where I'm going with this.
This is all the more important if you are planning a big battle in the near future. The dynamics of the battle is the key to success in my opinion so you have to watch it very carefully.
Ok since it is already behind us let's move on to suggestions for the plot
It's just a few ideas that you may or may not be used if you want
The Alliance asked Twilight about her home world but the question is whether they know exactly where it is located
We know that it is in the zone controlled by the Alliance but the exact location may not be known and finding one planet may take some time
I suspect also that the "True True spell" (I forgot what it's called) must be used through direct contact so no mass healing please it's just going to ruin the story
Let's say that within hour she can heal about five maybe six people
I suspect that the folding together the psyche of alien is not as easy as in the case of a pony even with the help of magic so you should't rushed the process
And at the end so as not to drag I would suggest more mistrust between members of an Alliance and Twilight
Say that only some of them are pleased at the thought about the new allies in this war that can compete with Psywarriors but others will be afraid to give the opportunity to ponies to conquer the galaxy by means of magic and friendship
4570904 To ease your worries, the trip home took two months. That was why Hale was so worried about food and supplies, and how well they would hold out. So there was a bit of a time skip that I didn't explicitly state. Thanks for the advice though!
Also, as for the Twilight heals, I was pretty much going to go with what you wrote. No mass heals, a single person at a time. Which would mean that the absolutely need to get back to Equis for reinforcements.
Also, you are going to see a lot more mistrust from certain parties later down the road. Just not from anyone that Twilight has healed, for obvious reasons.
Also, thanks for all the advice and comments! I hope to live up to your expectations!
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Not to totally rain on the sci-fi parade, but have you seen anything about Nasa's Warp drive? While they're keeping the specifics pretty hush-hush, the physics of it looks pretty promising. Being able to reach our nearby star neighbors in just a few days is nothing short of mind boggling. So a couple of months by ship could cover a huge portion of the galaxy just by theoretical physics standards. Real science may totally shred the old school thought of space travel.
What would be funny is if Celestia and Luna were actually elders of an ancient race that decided to retire and play god somewhere. Their reality bending, sun/moon moving abilities are actually ancient super-science. Eh, it's your story, and I'm enjoying it regardless.
Awww man, sci-fi pony fics are so friggen good when they're done well! Just read this through for the second time today, and I'm really glad that I found it (doubly so when I saw how recently it updated). Good original characters, excellent world-building, solid portrayal of canon characters (well, the two we've seen)...really, the only nitpicks I have with it are some grammar/spelling problems, but those aren't too distracting. The tone is perfect for a space opera as well, never getting too lighthearted or too serious.
Also: have you ever heard of the space opera boardgame Twilight Imperium? If not, I'd recommend trying to find some of its flavor text. It's quite good, and it could help you come up with some more neat ideas.
That said, great fic, I hope to see more soon, and I now I really want to see that new Guardians of the Galaxy movie coming out.
4578679 I'm glad you like it so much! yeah, I know I have grammer mistakes. Eventually I'm going to go back and fix them all, but right now I'm in the zone, expect a new chapter soon!
...ish.
Also, I have played Twilight Imperium. It is freaking awesome!
I also want to see guardians of the galaxy. I really want this film to do well. If it does, it means that Marvel will be able to make movies out of its lesser known super heroes, like antman or black panther!
ohh, this is getting goood~ this fic needs more likes dangit.
fight the (psichic?) power twilight! i just hope the alliance wont do anything untoward our equine heroine just to gain her powers.
. . .
please dont let there be any jerky mc-jerkpants polititions/generals/scientist that want to abuse her!!!
4589108 I know, right? I've had to fight tooth and nail to get this many likes!
Also, you know I can't say anything. spoilers!
4598690 ooh, you are cruel sir knight, but very well. I shall forgive your unspoilering nature on the ransom that shall definitely make another chapter in due time.
. . .
Or I'll set pinkie on yah
There's a big picture here, isn't there, I remember the flash-back.
4589108 I think you jinxed it.
4580388 , I very much hope you update soon, anyways have a nice day/night.
Bout to continue off from where I last left this story. . .
CHAPTER X
ALL WHILE LISTENING TO THE ARCHER "CHARLENE AND KENNY LOG IN VERSION OF DANGER ZONE!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Seriously can't wait for more!
Damn it knight breeze Keep typing I require more pylo- I mean text I require more text.
4612174 Yes, I must construct additional pylons. and story chapters.
Question!
How in all the hells do lips "frown in concentration"?
He has extremely talented lips, if they can do something that is impossible for lips to do.
6465910 thanks for the catch! already taken care of!
I don't know if that's a reference from something else, but it's definitely an Ultra Fast Pony reference.
4578679
4580388
Twilight fans! Great game, if you aren't too far, maybe we could get together?
6725967 2000 A Space Odessey
oops, your right
7871303
2001: A Space Oddyessy is the original reference, but it has been used on UFP. Therefore, both answers are technically accurate.
7871303
2000: Space Odyssey? I thought it was 2001...
9298980 Possibly it's an unofficial sequel?