Chapter XV
With a bit of effort, Twilight finally managed to disentangle herself from Pinkie Pie. She quickly rushed over to where Admiral Zelgius was bowing to the Princesses, then sunk into a deep bow herself. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, It is my great honor to present Admiral Halik Zelgius of the Galactic Alliance,” she said, a little out of breath as she gestured towards the still bowing Zelgius.
“Your Highnesses, I am deeply honored to meet you, though I wish the reasons were not so dire. Is there a place where we may speak in private? We have much to discuss, and very little time to do so,” he said, rising from his bow as he did so.
The Princess of the Sun had an unreadable expression on her face as she studied the strange being before her. Slowly, she approached the admiral, then held out a hoof to him. Almost hesitantly, Zelgius reached out and took it, shaking it gently. “Of course admiral, we will have a meeting place prepared. I would also like to thank you for bringing my student home safely, though I would like to know how she fell into your care in the first place,” Celestia said carefully.
“Aliens kidnapped me and took me to a horrible prison, where terrible experiments took place,” Twilight piped in as she drew closer to her mentor. “I managed to escape with the help of some of the other captives there. His people found us and brought us home.”
“Is that so?” Celestia said, her eyes softening as she listened to Twilight's brief explanation. “Then it appears that I am in your debt, admiral.”
He chuckled at this. “Don't thank me just yet. Let's just survive the day, then you can thank me.” he said ominously.
“What do you mean by that?” Princess Luna asked apprehensively.
“I mean that war is upon you. The race that kidnapped the young miss Sparkle is coming here. We managed to get here ahead of them, though I can tell you they are not far behind,” he said gravely. Everypony there seemed shocked at his words except for Celestia for some reason. “However, this isn't really the place for such talk. Could we head somewhere more private? We should also have your generals and tacticians with us when we speak. They need to hear what needs to be said.”
“...Very well, right this way,” Celestia said, motioning with her hoof.
Twilight made to follow, but was prevented from doing so as something small, purple, and covered in scales shot out of the crowd and latched itself onto her, effectively arresting her movement. It took Twilight a second to realize it was Spike, and only a little longer to realize that he was crying. He seemed to be trying to say something, but all that came from his mouth was incomprehensible mumbling. “...Thought I lost you...” he finally managed to say.
Twilight gently enfolded the wyrmling in her hooves, tears streaming down her face as well. She gently hushed as she held the quivering dragon, planting a small kiss on his scaly forehead. “There were times that I had thought I had lost you too, Spike,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “I'm just glad to finally be home.”
Spike said nothing, but answered by squeezing Twilight a little bit tighter, almost as if he thought she might disappear on him again.
I'm finally home... Twilight thought to herself, as she gently smoothed Spike's spines. I just wish that danger hadn't followed...
* * *
Hale watched the uneasy exchange between the alabaster princess and the admiral, acutely aware that if things turned sour, he'd have the distinct honor of playing as the admiral's getaway vehicle. However, when he saw the two shake hooves/hands, he audibly gave a sigh of relief, hope leaping in his chest.
Feeling a whole lot lighter, he leaned forward and opened a channel to The Jolly Roger. “Jolly Roger, Pitstop. The bird has landed, and has made peaceful contact with the natives. Proceed with defensive measures, but don't land any Kingfishers yet, we still need permission before the guns can be deployed, over.”
“Copy that Pitstop, beginning preparations now. Hurry though, we need those guns on the ground ASAP. No bogies yet, but I can't promise that it will stay that way." Hale heard Major Morris reply through the comlink.
Satisfied that his work was done for now, Hale unstrapped himself from his seat and made his way to the shuttle's docking ramp. A quick glance around told him that there were still plenty guards surrounding the shuttle, their gazes locked on the landing craft as if daring it to do anything suspicious. Not wanting to antagonize them, he slunk deeper into the craft, closing the door as he did so.
This, of course, elicited some uneasy movement from the assembled guards, but when nothing else happened, they calmed down again. I really have to hand it to them. They are remarkably well disciplined, especially given that aliens just made planetfall, despite our peaceful intentions, he thought to himself.
He continued to watch the outside for a little bit longer through the computer console located at the side of the door. He was startled at first when he saw a small pudgy lizard weave its way up to Twilight, but smiled when he realized that the creature was giving the purple unicorn a hug. The tears in the lizard's eyes, plus the distinct, musical sound of the Equestrian language coming from its mouth gave Hale little doubt as to the reptile's sapient status. The creature was really quite cute, though it made Hale scratch his head a bit at the species diversity shown on this planet. Something is definitely screwy about this place... he thought to himself as he turned back to the shuttle's control console.
“What the heck are you doing in my seat?” he asked the poofy pink pony who had somehow appeared in the cockpit.
“Well, I thought that since you had nothing to do, and you and your friends up in that spaceship are brand new to Equis, I could throw you all a “Welcome to Equis!” party! I already have a place rented out, and I have all the treats and decorations set up, now all I need to do is deliver all the invitations!” Pinkie Pie said hurriedly as she held up a large stack of pink envelopes.
“You have invita- wait, you had it all set up in advance?” he asked incredulously.
“Yesiree! Everything is ready, just need to deliver these!” she replied, holding the invitations up again.
Hale's brain just about seized up at that point. “...But, how did you know we were coming?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer he was going to get.
“Well, duh, of course I didn't know if you were coming, thats why I made these! After you respond to them, THEN I'll know whether or not you're coming!” she replied, again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Hale, of course had had enough at that point.
“But how did you know to plan a party at all? For that matter, how did you know we were even coming to Equis?” he asked incredulously.
"Why else would I have made this many invitations, if not for a superterrific alien party?"
“Gah...I think you hurt my brain...” Hale said as he collapsed into one of the shuttle's chairs.
* * *
Rainbow Dash was bursting with questions. Questions, unfortunately, which had to wait for now. She might be a little impatient at times, but she knew 'I need some alone time with somedragon' when she saw it.
Besides, she thought, as she quickly flew away from Canterlot City. I'm pretty sure that Applejack and the others need to know what's happening.
* * *
Celestia slowly eased herself into her seat, with her sister taking the seat directly to her right. The room they had led the strange alien to was a conference room used for state meetings, usually used during peaceful times as a place to discuss law and policy for all of Equestria. The room was rather large, and richly appointed, with a large, round oak table dominating the center of the room. Directly behind Celestia was the Equestrian banner, which depicted the two royal alicorns forever locked in the cycle of night and day. The room was usually a boring place, where nothing exciting ever happened.
However, as the strange alien took his place on the other side of the table, Celestia couldn't help but feel a thrill of fear at the knowledge that this room was going to be used for far more violent reasons than Equestria's tax code.
As soon as all of Celestia's advisors and military commanders were seated, Admiral Zelgius reached into his pocket and withdrew a small flat silver disk. He fiddled with it with his long slender fingers for a second, then looked up at the assembled Equestrians. “My good people, I come before you as an emissary of peace, though my reasons for doing so are anything but peaceful,” he said as he tapped the device once.
Instantly there was a flash of light from the disk. As soon as everypony could see again, they found that some sort of strange, tentacled biped had appeared on the center of the oak table. The gasps and muttering sounds that followed this display were quite disturbing, as was the creature depicted. “This is a Dridune,” Zelgius said without much preamble. “They are a sapient, highly intelligent race of creatures with some natural ability in the area of psychic manipulation. Every Dridune from an early age is able to broadcast their thoughts and feelings to those around them, though that does not give them any degree of control over others, or the ability to read thoughts themselves,” he said with a fair bit of venom in his voice.
A pegasus by the name of Low Flier raised his hoof at that moment. “As fascinating as that is, why show us this strange creature? What we want to know is why you come to us, with your ship that instigated a mass panic and riot among our citizens, as well as disrupted our trade and commerce,” he said gruffly.
Zelgius gave the yellow pegasus a look that Celestia instantly recognized. It was the same look that Shining Armor gave Low Flier whenever Shining thought that Low was being an insufferable prick. “This creature's race is the whole reason we are here. They are coming to your planet, fully intent on either enslaving your entire populace or burning your world to the ground,” Zelgius said curtly.
The uproar that followed this statement was immediate and loud. However, a single stomp of Luna's foot against the oak table quickly calmed the assembled ponies. “I would hear what the Admiral has to say before shouting his ears off,” she said, a stern glare delivered to the rest of the room.
Almost as if they were ashamed at their behavior, the assembled ponies looked down at their hooves. “Good, now, if you could continue, Admiral, why would they come here to conquer?” she asked calmly.
Zelgius smiled at her thankfully. “Thank you Your Highness. To answer that question though, I will need to explain one other thing about them and their abilities. As I said before, these creatures have no natural way to control others with their mind. That is, they have no way of controlling others unless they first augment and train themselves to use this ability. Dridune that undertake this process are known as Psywarriors, and are among the most deadly and terrifying creatures that anyone can ever face,” he said with a shudder.
Celestia was about to question the Admiral further, but was interrupted by a harrumph from Celestia's left. Celestia knew instantly who it was without even looking, though that didn't stop her from slowly turning her head towards the pompous prince.
“So what, they come to control us with their spooky mind powers? While this is all highly entertaining, the only proof that we have is on your word alone. What makes you think we would believe any of this at face value? All you've done so far is scare the living daylights out of everypony in the city, then you expect us to believe that invaders are coming unless we put our faith in you? Who's to say that you are not the invader, and that this is all an elaborate trap, set to enslave us with the very same situation you claim to be here to stop?” Blueblood asked pompously, his chin thrusting out aggressively as he spoke.
Zelgius fixed the prince with a flat look. He opened his mouth, but was interrupted before he could even form the words. “My personal student has vouched for his honesty. Not only that, but I have additional evidence to support the Admiral's story. Until he and his kind turn on us, I have decided to take his word at face value for now, and I would ask that he remain uninterrupted until he finishes his presentation,” Celestia said dismissively.
The assembled ponies did not look happy at this, though they wisely decided to keep their peace for now. Luna, however, shot her sister a questioning look, to which Celestia leaned in and simply whispered “Lady Alala.”
Luna's eyes widened in surprise, but she showed no other outward sign of shock. “Anyway, as you were saying, I believe you were about to illuminate us on the capabilities of these 'Psywarriors' Admiral,” Luna said after composing herself.
Zelgius looked shocked that the two Diarchs seemed to not only be taking this well, but also trusted what he said was the truth. “Well, that's just the thing. We don't know all that they are capable of,” He said, deflating a little. “We've never been able to capture one for study, and whatever force or power they use to control minds is undetectable by our scanners. We know a few things from observation, such as that they can either directly control someone, or they can program the person to follow a set of instructions, or program them with a completely different personality entirely. We also know that they seem to have a limit as to how many they can control at a time. However, this limit is superseded when they use a device that we call a Planetjacker,” he said, pressing another button on the small disk.
Instantly the miniature Dridune was replaced with what appeared to be a small planet. Celestia could see two odd, yet identical shapes at both the northern and southern poles. The shapes looked like predator teeth, though Celestia knew of no predator that was so large. “The Planetjacker is a pair of devices that, when placed at both poles of a planet, allow a single Psywarrior to somehow enslave the entire populace, as well as anyone as far as a moon's reach,” Zelgius said as the two teeth speared both poles.
Slowly, the whole planet took on a sickly yellow color, and Zelgius sadly shook his head. “We are still completely baffled as to how they are able to do this. Any countermeasures we've developed have proven useless against them, and by themselves, the Psywarriors have single-handedly conquered seventy five worlds this way. The Planetjacker's only saving grace is that they are hideously expensive to create, and the materials used in their construction are exceptionally rare. They can only manage two sets per year, at best,” he said as a little bit of hopelessness entered into his voice.
Celestia looked at him with sympathy in her eyes, but before she was able to so much as express her sympathy, another voice piped in.
It was Lieutenant Iron Heart, and he looked a bit nervous at interjecting at this point. “I'm sorry to hear about that, really I am, these things sound terrifying. However, just playing Discord's advocate here, you still haven't answered Princess Luna's question. Why would they come here to conquer us? We haven't done anything to them, and they seem pretty set on conquering your Alliance, so why come here?” he asked, though he seemed to shrink under the stares of those around him.
At this, Zelgius seemed to smile a little. He didn't answer immediately, though. Instead, he fiddled with the device in his hands once more, and the image changed again. This time the only thing that it showed was a single pony that, by this point, was very familiar to everyone present. “Remember when I said that none of our countermeasures had worked on a Psywarrior? Well I was telling the truth about that. We still don't have a way to fight them on their own terms. Every attempt has resulted in failure, and every soldier we have sent against them have lost their free will to these monsters. We don't even have a way to free them after they've been captured, so any troops that switch sides are gone for good.” He said. However, instead of becoming more depressed, he seemed to become more excited as he finally reached the point he wanted to talk about. “However, two months ago, something that has never happened in the history of the war, happened. A Psywarrior was brought down.” He said dramatically. “Not just any Psywarrior either, this was their chief, and since the Psywarriors pick their leaders based on power, this is a huge deal. However, none of the people under my command were responsible for this feat. No, the one responsible was your very own Twilight Sparkle. Not only that, but she also proved that she could cure those who were afflicted by the Psywarrior's abilities.”
“They are coming to cleanse us, then,” Luna said, horror apparent in her voice. “They fear that you will use us to turn the tides of the war, and to stop this from happening, you think they would conquer or burn our world?”
Zelgius's head hung at this. “That is the long and short of it. According to Alliance law, my fleet stands ready to assist your planet in evacuating its citizens. The decision is yours however, and I will not force you to leave, nor will I force my aid upon you,” he said in resignation.
“I don't understand though,” a refined voice spoke from Celestia's left. Celestia glanced in that direction to see that Duke Fancy Pants had risen from his seat, a look of confusion and a little desperation on his face. “Why are they so dead set on conquering the galaxy? Surly there is enough room for everypony. Can we not reason with them?” the white and blue unicorn asked hopefully.
Zelgius merely shook his head. “You wouldn't be the first to ask that question. The last species that tried 'peaceful negotiations' were conquered in a single day. The Dridune sent a Psywarrior to 'handle' the negotiations. As you might expect, it didn't really work out,” he said sardonically.
“But why, though? Why are they so dead set on domination?” Fancy Pants asked, his confusion only mounting.
“The problem here is the Dridune see themselves as holy warriors, and their mission of galactic dominance is really more of a crusade. They don't believe in free will. Free will is a sin to them, and since you have the ability to resist them-”
“We would be considered unholy abominations, or even demons,” Fancy Pants finished for him in disgust, plopping back down in his seat as he spake. “Never in my life would I have considered myself an abomination,” he said ruefully. “Will we really need to evacuate though?”
Zelgius looked up at this, a glimmer of hope in his eye. “I don't think so. For the first time since this terrible business began, we actually have a shot at pushing them back, and I for one, am going to take it. We have thirty warships in orbit, ready to defend the planet with every life on board. We also brought a number of surface-to-orbit weapons ready to deploy on the surface of your planet. However, all of that will be useless if our soldiers are being controlled by the enemy,” he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his hand.
“And if we agree to aid you, what do you need from us? Food? Gold? Our first born?” Blueblood asked suspiciously. “If you ask me, the very fact that you brought all those weapons in the first place is reason enough to fear and suspect you,” he said accusingly.
If Zelgius took offense to Blueblood's accusation, he did not show it. “According to Galactic Law, we cannot land troops and weapons without permission from the native governing body, unless Psywarrior influence is detected within the ruling hierarchy. What we need from you is permission to defend your planet. We will also need you to shield our troops from the invader's mental domination. We brought our own food, our guns don't fire gold, and I can see no reason to demand your firstborn,” Zelgius said stiffly.
Zelgius's eyes then sought out those of Celestia's, and the Solar Princess could see hope burning within them. “We do not come to conquer, but to defend liberty, and with your help, I believe we can do just that.”
He then knelt before the assembled ponies. “Today, I do not represent the Galactic Alliance, but every free soul in the galaxy. Will you help us not only defeat the invaders of your world, but the invaders of all worlds?” he pleaded as he bowed his head before them.
* * *
“I still don't get it,” Hale said, his confusion mounting.
“It's simple! When my ears get floppy, and I have a crinkly knee, and my back itches, it means that I'm going to make a ton of new friends all at once! And I thought, 'what's the only reason why I would make so many new friends all at the same time?'” Pinkie asked slowly.
“...A party?” Hale asked uncertainly.
“Exactly! So I thought, 'I already know everypony in ponyville, so it must be in Canterlot where I'm going to meet all my new friends all at once! But a tingle in all four of my hooves also told me that Twilight was coming home, followed almost immediately with a twitchy tail, which means something was going to fall, so I thought there was only one logical explanation!” she said hurriedly.
“Somehow, I think that the only relationship you and logic have is one chasing the other out of the room with a bat,” Hale quipped.
Pinkie didn't seem to notice, however. She quickly sat up on her haunches, slicked her hair back, and held up her hooves in front of her. “The only logical explanation for Twilight coming home and me meeting a ton of new friends was...” she paused for dramatic effect. “...Aliens.”
"Of course it was," Hale said, rolling his eyes in the process.
* * *
Zelgius stayed on his knees for what seemed like forever. He could hear the assembled Equestrians whisper back and forth as they deliberated their decision. Every so often he would steal a glance upwards at the assembled ponies, to better gauge how things were progressing.
The blond maned, white unicorn seemed to be in a huddle with the yellow pegasus from earlier, while all the soldiers in the room had congregated to a corner all their own. The white unicorn with the blue mustache wasn't talking with anyone. Rather, he seemed to be trying to gage how the two Princesses would act.
Speaking of which, Celestia and Luna were completely ignoring the chatter around them, and were quietly whispering to each other. After a few minutes of this, the two nodded to each other, as if they had made a decision.
Luna rapped a single black-shod hoof on the table again, instantly drawing the attention of everyone in the room. “We have made a decision," she said, her face showing no emotion as she stared intently at the kneeling Simiate. “Not only will we protect your forces from the mental domination of your enemies, but we are prepared to aid you with whatever you require to free the other worlds conquered by these monsters.”
Several Equestrians immediately started to protest, namely the white and blond unicorn from before. However, Zelgius lept to his feet when he heard the news, his grin wide for all to see. I can't believe it! Politics never go that smoothly! he thought to himself.
Celestia cut off the protesters with a single wave of her hoof, her expression brooking no argument. “Our decision is final. We will forge an alliance with these people. However, before we begin, I feel we need to first decide how we are to best these Psywarriors. For that, we need the only one who has ever faced one and escaped unscathed,” Celestia said, her horn gently glowing with a soft, golden light. In response, a quill and parchment levitated in front of her from underneath the table, sporting the same aura as her horn.
Quickly Celestia penned a note, then, to Admiral Zelgius's alarm, she incinerated it.
“Is there something wrong, Admiral?” Celestia asked Zelgius calmly as the smoke from the fire quickly fled out of the room.
“No, nothing. It's just that...my people can't use magic. In fact, until we met Twilight, magic was a myth to us,” he said ruefully.
Celestia looked a little surprised at that. “Magic is one of the five fundamental forces of the universe! How can you be so advanced, yet ignorant of its power?” she asked. Zelgius noticed that her voice was neither condescending, or prideful. She was genuinely confused at his lack of knowledge.
He merely grinned roguishly at this, though. “How? I have no idea. However, an integral part of any alliance is the sharing of information. How about you teach us magic, and we'll teach you of our technology?”
Celestia's grin was just as impish, however it was tinged with sadness as well. “Let's first survive the onslaught, then see where the future takes us,” she said grimly.
Hmmm, there is a word for this... Twilight?
"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!"
4735421 yup, not dead
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4735637
I wish politics went so well on this planet, we would probably be colonising mars by now if it were.
Hmm, if the dridune conquer worlds through the subjugation of the mind, then why haven't the alliance created virtual/artificial intelligences to manage weapons systems during combat? Also, if you have the chance, could you give us a short peak at what other races there are in the alliance? I don't know why but I always enjoyed the variety of differing alien cultures created by human imagination.
Besides that, rock on!
Yes it updated! Huza-
Might wanna scratch that "a"
Anyway... Yay another chapt-
I want to love you, story, I really do, but I can't trust you after that.
Sees a new chapter
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Reading...
DUDE WTH!?
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Forgive me for my reaction but it's because I really like your work
Ok ok
Take it easy...
Inhale and exhale...
This is exactly what I wrote previously
Listen I know I'm the last person who may be familiar with writing fictions but I see that you have a gift and a great talent for such things
Soo what in the name of God just happened
You rushes this story and now you limit yourself a field to build a truly awesome tale
Ok one point at a time:
1) We have a great start (imprisonment and escape)
2) A little background (not as much as I'd like but I know it is not easy to write yours first story on professional level)
3) And now we have climax (...)
Where's the tension/world-building???
I see that you want to go straight to the action and I have not doubt that it's gona be great
But this is't the right approach
I hope that in the future when you will have more experience you wil get back to this and you will see that as such it's only a diagram from which you can create a truly great story
4735770 What's wrong with calling the planet Equis?
4735916 um...This isn't the climax of the story. The story is going to be far longer then you seem to think, with far more battles then just this one. Don't worry, I'm not going to have this one battle, then end the story. The ponies haven't even seen any of the other races yet, and I haven't gotten the main six involved, or anything! just relax a little, and let things play out!
as to world-building, far more is just around the corner, so be patient!
4736009
If you call the planet "Equis/Equus" you have to call our earth "Homo" or "Humanland".
And lest we forget the other sapient species on the planet who certain call it "Earth" or "Griffonland, Minotonia or Name-Of-Our-Species/Genusland."
In short, it's a terrible cliche that should have never started, just like black-and-red OC and Annon-in-Equestria.
4736092 Thanks for the advice. any suggestions on what I should call it?
I've pointed this out so many times that it's become repetitive like a broken record. When comparing two different things, you use "than", not "then".
Other people have pointed this out as well. No "a" in bogies.
While LibreOffice does recognize it as a word, it's actually "gauge".
4736092
Until their world is canonically named, Equis/Equus is a placeholder. Deal with it.
4736419 Thanks for the eye! I've really been trying my best to improve, but it looks like I missed a few. I already made the edits.
As for the name of the planet, I already changed the name to Tharis. Some Russians made a pretty good case for the change.
4736419
4736092 Actually, on second thought, I'm going to keep it Equis. I don't want to confuse my readers by introducing a new name for the planet. sorry.
4736436
While I agree with the others, the whole planet-name thing is petty. The producers and writers of the show haven't given the world a name. Sure Equus/Equis is bland, like Earth, but it's a placeholder.
Whatever, I'd rather enjoy the story than argue.
4736501 Thanks for the input. Already thought about it and changed it back.
4735759 The artifical intelligence question will actually come up in future chapters. As for alien cultures, those are coming up too. Keep an eye open!
4736419
I will not "deal with it"
It's a scourge on this fandom just as much as red-and-black alicorns, seventh-elements and "chosen ones"
A problem is a problem.
4736804 red and black alicorns?
4736092
Frankly the name Equis falls perfectly into the pony's naming conventions and ethnocentricity that are canon to the show (remember that FiM takes place in a town called Ponyville and I don't know of any towns called Humanville either)
4736900
If you're not aware of the alicorn OCs, then you haven't scratched the surface of FIMFic.
4737005
It makes sense for a nation of horses to be called Equestria, even if it's a gut-wrenching pun.
It does not make sense for a planet of many sapient species to be named after just one of them that might not even be the majority.
4735770
Wait. So your biggest complaint is that the home world of the ponies is named after its dominant species? Not that the author needs to edit his work more thoroughly, or that this fic is a bundle of random tropes, or that the Dridune have crap as their motivation, or that his technobabble is ridiculous even in the context of technobabble, or that all military protocol in this universe is a mass of gibberish, or that [various other problems X, Y, and Z]?
Pffft- hahahahahaha! Compared to red and black alicorn OCs, this trope is nothing. To be honest, that the pony home planet is called Equis is accepted by the sci-fi side of the fandom as normal or expected. Changing Equis to something else is a bit like changing Earth to Terra in reality.
Yes, you could make an argument for it, but it's a silly thing to get angry over, and the current name already makes sense within its context.
Equis is succinct, and makes sense. What would you suggest instead? Solaris Prime? Octanis VII? LV80241? If you're going to grouch about it, at least suggest some alternatives.
Also, calling the pony home world Equis does not mean Earth would have to be called Homo, or Humanland. You're trying to apply the same rule to two entirely different species, which is silly. Honestly, I've always imagined the world being called Equis as some artifact of the early Equestrian Empire, as a way to cement their place as the dominant species, which was never argued against with enough vehemence to justify a change.
Nobody knows what the planet's name is, or what it's solar system looks like, but on the one side Equestria is referred to as a "magical land" being defined neither as a nation or a planet, but "land" more likely implies a nation--on the other side, all life on the planet apparently relies on the two princesses raising the sun and the moon on schedule, and those two princesses are equine. I'm pretty sure that would be enough to influence the chosen name of the planet. A decent argument could be made for either case, so why not just let each author use what they feel works best.
Most fimfiction stories diverge from canon in really drastic ways. By comparison, the name of the planet is hardly worth discussing.
Here's a plan! The name of the planet where Equestria is located, is Moot.
Any votes for planet Moot?
4737552 I didn't realize I had so many problems... thank you for the input, I'll see what I can do to fix some of that stuff.
4737631 I'm good with moot.
4737869
*shrugs* It only makes the story less enjoyable if you make a point of paying attention to them and questioning it all.
That aside, pretty fun.
The conversation with Pinkie felt stilted. The straight man (Hale) does not need to repeat how crazy she is so often, his opinion should be implied.
4736480
Eh, I keep thinking it'd be fun to call it Dirt... the next time there's a human gateway crossover fiction, Earthlings should get to meet Dirtlings.
4737331
Equestria is ruled by beings that are at least equal in power to pagan deities and is generally considered the most powerful nation on the planet, combine that with how ethnocentric the ponies are (the fact they use 'everypony', 'somepony', 'nopony' et cetera shows this beyond a doubt), it is not very hard to imagine that they would call their planet Equis.
4738151 Yeah, I rewrote that part five times, still didn't think I did it justice.
4738125 Also, the Dridune actually have a pretty good motivation. We just haven't gone into it yet. It's gonna be quite the surprise, so keep your eyes open.
4742636
Well, if they do, it's pretty well hidden under a mountain of universal domination cliches. :P
You might want to hint at their more unique motivations earlier on in the story, because I almost lost interest for a while because universal domination is so dull.
I was somewhat surprised that Twilight wasn't already asked to participate in the conversation by Celestia - as the one who was actually out there, having fought and lived through the circumstances Zelgius describes, one would think her input would be invaluable to Celestia/Luna - not only can she verify what Zelgius is saying (or interject if she feels he isn't being truthful), she can offer an Equestrian perspective on those happenings, which would be important to Equestrians.
Which is to say, I feel like it would make sense for her to be there (if not required) from the start, before Celestia/Luna make the call to forge the alliance, rather than summon her post-fact, as hers is the input that can offer something valuable to encourage or discourage it. Compared to the gathering of nobles, she is the only one who would actually have something useful to add.
Of course it might be that Celestia had planned to go ahead with the alliance from the get go anyway thanks to the prophet she holds in so high a regard and was simply putting on a show for the rest, but even then Twilight's presence could only make the charade look stronger.
4744286 The reasoning was actually twofold. The first one was the one that you already mentioned. Celestia only invited the others to put on a show for her advisors and such.
The second reason was small, purple and covered in scales.
I've always envisioned Celestia having a soft spot for children, and seeing spike and twilight having such a tender moment made Celestia decide that they would be better off having a few minutes alone. I'm trying to go for a more human Celestia. sure she has 1000+ years under her belt, but that only means that she has been subject to far more loss than anypony else. She may be ageless, but she is neither an immortal, nor a god. just heads up.
I'm a bit disappointed that Twilight wasn't there. It seems only logical that she should be in on the meeting, since she has first-hoof experience with this stuff. She could have greeted Spike the way she did, and then scooped him up and took him with her as they caught up to the rest of the group. I doubt Celestia would have minded him being there.
The only other complaint would be Prince Blueblood. I mean, I get that he's a prince, but I just can't imagine him being involved in anything serious. He's more the playboy type, and if Celestia had any sense at all, she'd keep him far, far away from any official matters like this. His presence was annoying, and I just wanted to smack him.
Other than that, it was a good chapter, and I eagerly await the next part.
How the hell did I not find this story sooner? And WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE CHAPTERS!!!
I *twitch* NEED *twitch* TO *twitch* READ *twitch* MORE *twitch* OF *twitch* THIS *twitch* STORY!!! *massive full body "twitch"*
*Just sits there twitching*
*Looks at StarChaser* Well, you broke him...
4750856 I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!
....Yeah, I'm not really too sure why it hasn't received more attention then it has. first three months of its life, and it only got sixty views.
I actually almost gave up on it, but I knew that I wasn't writing it for the likes, I wasn't writing it for the veiws, I was writing it for myself, so that I could improve as a writer. I'm glad that you like it so much, and there will be a lot more chapters soon!
4748943 as much as I agree with you that Blueblood is really more of a playboy type, he's still a prince of the realm, so Celestia would have him there to *try* to teach him a thing or two about ruling a nation. And despite Blueblood's attitude, he actually raises some important questions about Zelgius's motives that the Equestrians really should be asking. Basically Blueblood represents my more paranoid side, and how I would react if an alien warship appeared in the sky offering aid against an unheard of threat.
As for Twilight, I wanted to show a more human Celestia, one who is capable of making mistakes. That included the small ones, such as letting your student have some alone time with her foster son instead of attending an important meeting. She rationalized that since Spike and Twilight were back together again, she could just send a letter if something important happened.
As for why Twilight didn't hurry off, seeing Spike after six months kind of banished everything else out of her mind. If she was going to be at the meeting, it was only because someone else reminded her of it.
4735916 Also, I know you're quite upset about the timing, but there is something you must remember.
It took twilight two months and a week to get home after the escape. While Twilight and gang were doing that, the Dridune were not exactly idle. Its actually a surprise that they hadn't gotten to Equis first.
Do you have an ETA for the next chapter?
'Cause I'm impatient!
4751246
Again I apologize for my behavior earlier
Lack of sleep and stress cause I'm recently a bit restless
Unfortunately I discharge on you for what I apologize
Now back to the topic
Ok let's do the maths
if what you say is true then the Dridune would't be able to appear in orbit over a much longer period of time
The only person who knows what happened at the test center is Hivanti and I admit that two months is a long time to exit from coma but what has happened in that time and after?
I don't think that he just came out the hospital racked up a fleet which happened to be in the system (strong enough to break the front mind you) and launch a surprise attack on the rear of alliance.
And if it's not him that's leads you have to added time for the information to flow
If Dridune were planning an attack in another part of the alliance you still need to include the time needed to return to the current location.
Not to mention the fact that the alliance should know about such a large mobilization
I hope you see that from a tactical point of view it's rather unlikely scenario
But let's say that they succeeded in surprise the alliance and they mobilized the forces I talked about
There is no chance for it to prepare defense within three hours!!!
I do not know how many guns would be needed but I guarantee you that there will be not enough
I know I played Ogame
And believe me when I say that there is no such thing as too much cannons
After one battle ther was so much debris on the orbit that they formed the biggest moon I've ever seen in this game and it was I who lost
I am aware of the fact that wars are not won in one battle but this particular battle is a turning point in your story
The Dridune lose their trump card
the ability to control others
In other words you need one unicorn on bridge of the ship to prevent friendly fire
And yes I see that this is not a perfect solution but now it's just statistics
You claim that there are very few of Psywarriors so you would need a few to control the entire enemi fleet
If you concentrate them in a few places you leaving unguarded flanks
Again from a tactical point of view it is quite unlikely
I know that the same rules apply to the unicorns but I assume that there are many more of them.
And there's always the possibility of cast a spell on a crystal or something like that to act as a temporary mind shield device
I think it covers the better part of what I wanted to say
Once more
Tension and world building are what this story needs to a greater extent
4759100 now that is a much better argument. Thanks for taking the time to get your head on straight, then coming back to me with this.
I'm actually very easy to sway if the other person comes to me in a logical thoughtful way rather then having hitler scream at me.
...no matter how funny it may be...
anyway, I think you're probably right now that you mention the time it takes to mobalize a fleet that size. fortunately this problem has a very easy fix. Instead of having the good major say three hours, I'm just going to have him say "no bogies yet, but I can't promise you it'll stay that way." Can't do it now, just writing this on my phone at the moment. but as soon as i get behind my computer keyboard, that's the first thing I'm doing.
4759339
Everything will be fine as long as you will not tried to build your world around events that happen in it
Rather try to do the opposite
4753086
And epileptic it seems. I've got some Keppra if you need it.
4762667 What makes you say that?
Yah, we don't have epilepsy...
4762909
I saw this and tried to make a joke. Oh well.
4764363 oh... that... more like spazing than seizure...
4753086 To answer your question, the chapters come out approximately whenever I feel like it.
4765907
*manages to keep a straight face for about 10 seconds*
Okay, fair enough
4765912 Sorry, I'm a college student, so I don't always have time. Plus, this is really more of a hobby for me, seeing as how I cannot make money off of any of the fanfics I create.
Ah, the terrors of real life...
4765933 I'm going to be a college student soon and I just submitted a story here (shameless self promotion ) so I understand how IRL takes precedence over your online presence...