As most of you probably already know, over this summer the Lunaverse lost someone, InsertAuthorHere. I found out before the rest of you, though not as soon as I should have. He had been a personal friend of mine, but when he first disappeared I didn't even think to check, and even when I finally thought to, I kept putting it off. By the time I finally learned of his death I felt so guilty and like such a bad friend that I didn't even think to pass that message along to anyone else.

I can't ever fix that mistake, all I can do is not repeat it.

Which brings me to today, because now it is my doubly painful regret to inform all of you that the Lunaverse has lost another person. I was just informed tonight that GreyGuardPony... lost the battle with cancer this past December 7th.

Any loss is always a tragedy, let alone two in the same year. IAH had been a good friend, someone who I was fortunate enough to know as more than just an author. Although we hadn't spent as much time together leading up to his death, the two of used to regularly chat in private and play video games together... Borderlands won't ever be the same for me without him.

But Grey... that loss hurts even more.

It's almost funny though, when she first joined this group I was maybe always the most critical person when it came to reviewing her stories. I'm not even sure why she ever bothered listening to me back in those days when the rest of the quorum was usually ready to approve most of her work as is. For whatever reason she did listen to me though, and together the two of us went back and forth over a lot of negotiations and rewrites, and I'd like to think those stories end up all the better for the extra effort spent refining them. After working so closely together, maybe it was only natural when we eventually started opening up to each other more and more with each project.

She was someone who became very special to me, especially for the better part of the last two-and-a-half years... more than just a friend. She was someone who I could share the most private and secret parts of myself with. We certanly didn't always agree about everything, but she was was never judgemental. Right up to the end, we rarely ever went more than a day or two without chatting, but now... who am I supposed to turn to anymore to deal with this pain, when it's the person I would have confided in most who's gone?

There were still so many things I wanted to tell her, and so many more experiences I wanted to share and explore together, but now I'll never get the chance.

I feel lost without her.

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Anyway, all my own mournful rambling aside, I'm sure there are others among you who might want to speak your own condolences, vent the pain or reminisce over good times past, and I figured from now on maybe we needed separate threads for this kind of thing so we don't have to go spoiling the mood over in the lounge.

a toast.. for those that have gone ahead of us.. may we remember them to the very end..

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Oh my god...I can't believe it she's gone,

Oh damn, I didn't know about either of them. Dang.

Rest in Peace Legends

RIP. She really helped me when I first started writing fanfics again and gave me some really useful feedback that really help shape my story into something better. I didn't know her all that well, but I will miss her.

I hadn't know either had passed. but then again i don't post much in the groups i'm in. May Grey rest in Peace.

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I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy when it's someone who is that close to you. IF yo ever need something, we are all here for you.

I just...can't believe it. In one year, two really good people died. It is never easy to lose someone with such great talent, especially when it's someone you felt like you were clsoe to or admired. While, I may come and go from this place from time to time, I always felt a certain somethign with you guys. Afriednship I couldn't really describe that I enjoyed. I always admired your talents and her's was no exception.

The pain is not going to go away, not with words, feelings, or time. It will always be there, waiting to bubble up from time to time. But the thing to do, to help ease it, is to remember te things she meant to you, to all of us. Friends may go, but the bonds and times we spent will never leave.

This is the first I've heard about either passing. How is it that I never heard about InsertAuthor? How did everyone else find out? Was there anything posted about it here in the group? I never found his lack of content posts suspicious, as he'd had quiet periods before.

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She was something... special.

I was here in this group long before she was, but in a round about way she'd go on to become my own guiding inspiration and muse. Just knowing I could look foreword to the time we spent together nearly each an every day always made even the worst days of my life happier just to imagine her smiling face on the other side of our chat box. I'm just not sure I can comprehend life never speaking with her again.

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Thanks... it's hard, but thanks... and never be a stranger. Even if you come and go, there's always a home for you here in the Lunaverse.

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Grey only just passed so this is the first anyone has heard of it. The loss of IAH came up over in the lounge, however, and has come back up again a couple more times since. None of you not the first to find out belated, and probably won't be the last either... but maybe that's a good thing. At least whenever someone new comes along to offer there condolences, it helps keep the memories fresh for all of us.

We're making a more concerted effort to inform people this time. That's why I posted this in a new thread as well as posting a blog on my user page. I've also spoken with both RDD and Vex who plan on doing the same tomorrow.

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I'm still having trouble believing it myself... part of me wishes it was April, if only so Grey could come back and tell me it was all a prank.

Omg we lost onther one

Rest in Peace GreyGuardPony

She will be missed. While I did not interact much with her directly, I still had a lot of respect for her work. My condolences to all who knew her.

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InsertAuthorHere was actually a very honest critic of the Lunaverse and helped giving lots of constructive feedback to the authors. He was mostly known for writing My Little Alicorn.

I can't believe it, I had thought that GreyGuard would manage to win her fight against cancer. Her later posts gave me that impression. The Lunaverse lost an avid and very talented world builder and author.

I've stickied this thread for now, and will leave it up until after the New Year. Seems appropriate.

I just finished my own eulogy, though it's not as meaningful or heartfelt as Emeral's. I didn't know GreyGuardPony as well as he did, though I wish I had. Unfortunately this is a cost of getting together a large group of friends - sometimes those friends leave, whether or not you want them to. It's something that we're all going to have to work through together.

Myself, Emeral Bookwise, and ThatGuyVex have been discussing a few other things we might do in tribute to GreyGuard. She has an unpublished Lunaverse story for one, which although she wasn't happy with the end I'm happy to work to get published and canonize as-is, either by getting one of FimFic's moderators or admins to publish it under her account (if that's possible), or else for one of us - my vote is Emeral - to publish it under their account in memoriam, once we seek and get FimFic admin approval.

But that's not something we should focus on right now, I don't want to really talk shop today. We should just focus on mourning.

InsertAuthorHere died? Or left the fandom? I can't believe they died...

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A fine tribute. If I could, I;d give you a hug. A horrible shame, here. I didn't know Grey as well as you did, to my eternal detriment.

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Jesus they were so talented. Their fics My Little Alicorn and their blogs were a highlight and interesting read back in the early years. I now feel guilty having always put off Keeping Your Hooves On The Ground on a constant "I'm sure I'll get to it someday".

They always suffered a lot of stress at work and even here at times. I can't say I was close to IAH by any means but I truly thought them a wonderful contributor to the fandom whose works always made me smile. I can't believe they're gone. I pray it wasn't suicide. They deserved better in life.

So sad to hear. Two of his stories, "Applejack, Are we Poor?" and "Keeping Your Hooves on the Ground" are in my Creme de la Creme folder . Rest in peace, good sir.

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I knew who IAH was, I’m a follower. I just didn’t know that he had died. There wasn’t any post about it, not in the Lunaverse group, and not from any of the people I follow who knew him more personally.

I've said what I can in my own blog, and I don't know what more I can say at this point. Grey was a friend, and things won't ever quite feel the same around here in her absence.

Their stories were one of the first I ever read here, especially Skitch-verse.

May they rest in peace.

It's always sad when friends and colleagues pass. Thank you for letting us know.

RIP InsertAuthorHere and GreyGuardPony. May their memories be a blessing.

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I'm sorry for your loss...

This is a pretty sad time for the Lunaverse... Lost like that is difficult to process... I got the new this week that my dad's girlfriend is also losing her battle with cancer and may have about 6 monthes left, tops (and we lost my dad's old cat, but by now that seems like nothing, even if I'll miss the old boy... maybe he wanted to be there waiting for her...) so I am also strggling with losing someone close to me...

And my grandma is in the hospital too so it has been a very stressful time.

At the very least, I hope Grey was happy in her final monthes, with you as such a close friend.

May the memory of those two Legends stay within us, always.

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I'm sorry for your loss...

It's everybody's loss. Grey was special person, more than I ever knew. It's only in the wake of this tragedy that I've gotten than chance to speak with some of the friends who knew her far longer than I did, and the more I learn the more amazing I realize she was.

I got the new this week that my dad's girlfriend is also losing her battle with cancer and may have about 6 monthes left,

Grey never got even that much warning... or if she did she never told me. So far as I ever knew things were going fine, up until they weren't. I don't know, maybe it's better that way, less time to dread the inevitable... then again, it's also less time to make piece with it.

At the very least, I hope Grey was happy in her final monthes,

I wish I knew. I'd like to think so, but part of not seeing it coming means there was never a chance for any final goodbye. There was just the last time I tried to say high, but she was too busy talking medical stuff with her dad at the time, and then... nothing... seven days later she was just gone.

The world goes on, I suppose... even if doesn't feel like it should be anymore.

I'm so sorry I was not here, GreyGuardPony was enthusiastic, kind and incredibly talented, to know she's gone is sudden and painful. I wish I had the words to help others in their grieving, and that I had been here sooner, been here more often. GreyGuardPony was a wonderful soul and the world is dimmer for her absence, I hope she can rest easy.

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¡I feel terrible about this! ¡2 great writers gone!

Okay, like I said, since it's the New Year now I'll be un-stickying this.

I suppose as well we should start discussing what to do about GreyGuardPony's unpublished Lunaverse story. Personally, I'm in favor of us still publishing it, getting the mods to upload it on GreyGuard's account if possible, or using one of our own if not (I recommend Emeral).

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We it the running of the leaves one? If so I agree with having it published if possible.

Did she actually complete it and if not would it be published uncompleted or would someone finish it off?

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I'm also in favor of it going up.

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Yes, it's the Running of the Leaves. It is finished, though if I'm being honest the ending sort of...peters out; Grey herself commented that she had sort of lost the thread of the fic, and that was part of why it wasn't published even though it was finished last year. I'd recently offered to help her give it a better ending, or re-write the ending myself, but then...well, the reason for this eulogy thread happened.

I'm sort-of torn as to whether we should keep it as-is in memoriam, or write a new ending. On the one hand, there's an argument to be made for preserving the story as-is, since it's going to be her last fic. On the other hand, since she herself didn't like the ending, there's an argument to be made for editing it, since she was going to do that anyway.

Here are all the chapters, by the way:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

One of the reasons why I really want to publish this, beyond it being a memorial fic, is that it really helps to establish more of the North Everfree province. Yes, by giving us a town full of Original Character Donut Steels (which is the joke, after all), but also in little things like the details of the Ingathering festival, the fact that both Hoofington and Ponyville dislike Bridleton, and so on. Stuff I'd love to use for Season 3.

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Quickly reading through it to remind myself I'd probably go for publishing it as it is as it is at least fully written. If anyone has a great idea to make changes to it I might change my mind but I think it would dilute the purpose. It had been left with say the last chapter missing then I think I would be keener to have it completed by someone else.

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I'd say publish as-is.

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We already have a story that peters out (my Phoenix one) so one more isn't gonna hurt anything... Though if you want to write a new ending I wouldn't be opposed to it either. Maybe make it a blog post and then consider THAT ending canon?

So my opinions on this matter are rather mixed.

On the one hoof, if we're really going to try and get this published through Grey's account, I think it maybe has to be left entirely as is... her words and her words alone. On the other hoof, Grey wasn't satisfied with the story as is, so publishing it as is might be in poor keeping with what she would have actually wanted and so a poor way to honor her memory. Then again on the third hoof, Grey was perhaps overly hard on herself when it came to that fic and maybe the only thing she ever really needed was a good pep-talk.

Still, all of that is only assuming it's even possible to get the fic published through Grey's account post mortem, which it very well may not be. Furthermore, if the goal of this goes beyond mere memoriam, if there is also a desire to publish it for the sake of filling out our setting canon, then maybe the fic should be tweaked to be the very best version of itself that it can possibly be.

Maybe the best answer might be to split the difference, include the original ending as written for posterity, while also writing an alternate ending to stand as canon. Of course that also requires RDD be willing to do that, which under the circumstances I can more than understand if he's just not comfortable following through on anymore.

Maybe in the end the exact text as written doesn't matter. We've got a semi-canon category, so the fic could certainly be published as is, the parts that work could still be referenced elsewhere in other stories, while that parts that don't can be handwaved or even retconned as needed.

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You know my dad's girlfriend who had, we were told, 3 to 6 monthes? She passed away early yesterday morning.

She took a turn for the worse over the holidays and the painkillers weren't helping her stay up much. She went into a coma in the evening of the second and it was just a matter of hours essentially. They had given p their cat when she got too sick to take care of it properly and we heard it actally spent the whole night crying out... as if it knew...crazy.

She would have been 59 today...

I'm still processing it all really. It's weird. It's like I don't feel sad if 'm by myself, just numb and slow, but then when the family is there I can cry at a moment's notice.

2018 has been, on the whole, a kick in the balls, especially in the last month of so, and I still group this week as part of it. 2019 doesn't truly feel like it's here yet...

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I am deeply sorry for you and your families loss.

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I wish I knew what to say, but honestly, I'm still not sure how to deal with any of this myself, let alone give anyone else advice.

Time goes on and there are always new things to enjoy, but sometimes that feels like little more than a fleeting distraction... only for the smallest thing to remind me of her and bring back all the pain of missing her so much.

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I’m sorry to hear all this. And, yeah, 2018 has by and large not been a good year. I was hoping 2019 could be different...

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God, I am so sorry, Fizzy. :(

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Thanks you guys. We're all trying to go on living while the reality of her absence sinks in...

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I am sorry.

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Thanks.

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You are welcome.

So, umm... I attended a memorial service for Grey this past weekend. I can't say it's made the pain go away, I don't know if anything can ever just make that kind of pain go away, but I think it helped to easy the pain. More to the point I think it helped me finally find a sense of closure, finally get a chance to say... goodbye.

That was always sort of the hardest part these past few months. The last chat we had, well it wasn't even really a chat. I tried messaging her over Steam, but she replied that she was busy talking medical stuff with her father. The last words I ever said to her were, "k... take care," and that was it, after that she just disappeared.

Anyway, about that memorial. I was never really sure what I was going to do there, especially since her family was in attendance and well... Grey was never open with them about her gender identity issues, and it certainly wasn't my place to make a scene by drop that kind of bombshell on them at a public venue. However, as members of her family and other friends who knew her in person took it in turn to share their own life experiences with Grey, I eventually realized there was a part of Grey they didn't know which I could still share with them... because I also knew Grey as an author, and so I could tell the story of how I met her when she first submitted a fic to this group, and I could also further elaborate on how the two of us would go onto forge a friendship while collaborating on future projects.

While I hope that getting to learn that little extra bit about her life was good for family and other friends, what was good for me was getting to meet some of those other people who also cared for Grey. I got the chance to personally speak with her brother, who wanted to know even more about her writing and where he could find it. I also got a chance to meet someone I never really expected to, Grey's other ex, someone who had tried dating her years ago back when they where both at university. I suppose that could have been an awkward experience, but I found comfort in just getting the chance to meet someone else who had cared about Grey in a way similar to myself.

I guess that just about wraps things up. I'll be leaving this thread open indefinitely, because I think there should always be a place for everyone to say their goodbye or share their memories of the people we lost. I have, however, edited the title of this thread because moving forward the next time we lose anyone else... although I hope that won't be any time soon... but when that time inevitably comes, I think every such announcement should deserve it's own separate thread.

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Sounds rough, I wish I could do or say something to make you feel better... but I'm not sure how well I even managed to deal with my own grief so it's not that easy.

The best thing we can do for the departed is to keep on living, and keep their memory alive...

Though if I were to die I hope no one finds my old lemons... That would be enough to die a second time... It'd be humiliating just on the terrible quality of my writing from back then...