The Sentencing of Shepherd · 3:55am Dec 29th, 2021
Shepherd is held in chains in front of Celestia in an Equestrian court.
Celestia: "Andrew Shepherd! You stand accused of breaking hearts and leading on many needy mares!"
Shepherd: "Wha-That's a crime?!"
Celestia: "IT IS NOW!"
Luna: "HEAR HEAR!"
Fluttershy: "YEAH! I-I mean, um... yeah!"
Applejack: "Ya man whore!"
Dash: "Oblivious stallion!"
Celestia: "I find you... Guilty on all charges!"
Pinkie: The lawyer "I can't believe we lost!"
Shepherd: "We didn't even get to make a defense!"
Pinkie: "I was supposed to make a defense? Wow!" Flips through 'The Big Book of Equestrian Law' "I must have missed that part!"
Shepherd: slams his face into the desk and groans "Why did I hire you?"
Pinkie: "I volunteered for free!"
Shepherd: "Oh yes."
Celestia: "Your sentence... IS DEATH!"
All: GASP!
Celestia: "... BY SNU-SNU!"
Shepherd: "... Was all this just so you could make a Futurama joke?!"
Celestia: "Joke?"
As my least favorite Futurama character once said "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."
Personally I liked the "Campton Races on helium" joke.
Well I mean Celestia and Luna are TALL for ponies, so they could easily magic themselves into Amazonian human women.
Hmmm...nah, death is clearly too light a sentence for a scoundrel of Shepherd’s caliber. I propose going all out and increasing it to MARRIAGE FOR LIFE -- to each and every of them!
I personally think it would have been funnier if you had a line mentioning all of ponyvilles mare population, to really show just how oblivious he really is
So the last one to face death by snu-snu died from a crushed pelvis?
And so, being the only Stallion on trial, he shall be Snu-Snued first by the Large Mares... then by the Petite Mares... then by the Beautiful Mares... then again by the Large Mares...
Call me crazy but I'm thinking the court was juuuuust a bit biased against him...