I'm Not A Goddamned High School Harem Protagonist! 1 · 12:07am Nov 29th, 2021
So our hero eventually goes to visit the Equestria Girls universe-So called because the world is Equestria but with humans. Alas, it is not his Earth, which sucks. And to make matters worse...
Shepherd: "I'M A TEENAGER AGAIN?! SERIOUSLY?!"
Twilight: "What? What's wrong with being a teenager again?"
Shepherd: "The awkwardness, the hormones, the acne... Well that part wasn't bad because I cleaned my face properly but otherwise it sucked! I'm not doing it again! Fix it right now!"
Celestia: "I'm terribly sorry, Shepherd, I can't do that. The magic of the portal isn't something I'm keen to mess with, especially since it might harm you. You wouldn't want to end up 200 years old, would you?"
Shepherd: "Ugh... Fine... I'll just head back through the portal."
He walks into the statue... And bounces right off it.
Shepherd: "... The hell?!"
Twilight: "Um, Princess-I mean Principal Celestia?"
Celestia: "Well... That's strange."
Shepherd repeatedly tries to get through... Even resorting to bashing his head against the stone pedestal...
Shepherd: "Owww... That... Wasn't a good idea, fuuuuuck...!"
Twilight: "Oh dear! Uh... Principal Celestia?"
Celestia: "Don't worry dear. I'll take care of Shepherd while you work on a way to fix this."
Shepherd: "Why... Why did I do that... Owwwww....?!"
Later, Shepherd wakes up in a guest bedroom of some sort. He rubs his bandaged head, and slowly gets up. He makes his way out the door, looking around carefully. He hears humming downstairs-It appears to be morning. He walks down and finds a kitchen. Principal Celestia is cooking breakfast. She beams at him... Wearing nothing but an apron.
Celestia: "Good morning, Shepherd! Don't worry, breakfast will be done soon!"
Shepherd: "Uh... Huh. Is that your... Usual morning attire?"
Celestia: "Well, my sister and I don't have a lot of... Gentlemen callers."
Luna, naked as the day she was born, walks in with a game headset on her head.
Luna: "Morning Celestia... Morning Shepherd. How are your clothes suiting you?"
Shepherd: "F-Fiiiine...?"
Luna: "What's with you? Aren't ponies used to nudity?"
Shepherd: "Yes, but I wasn't a pony."
Luna: "Sooo... Griffin?"
Shepherd: "I WAS A HUMAN!"
Luna: blinks... Blushes... "... KYAHHHHH!"
She punches Shepherd in the stomach, bowling him over.
Celestia: "AH! Luna! He's still recovering!"
Luna: "But-But he's a human!"
Celestia: "So are we?"
Luna: "IT'S DIFFERENT!"
Shepherd: Why me...?!
The only thing that came to me was...... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm...not overly fond of the EQG verse. That being said, this is amusing.
XDDDD
Poor Shepherd. Can't win sometimes.
Continuing with the same theme wouldn’t be funny if human Fluttershy was hitting on him thinking used to be a pony and would ask what he look like not realizing he’s always been human hell you can throw in applejack as well
Poor Shepard, can never catch a break, even in another parallel universe.
I'm not overly fond of the "physically abusive tsundere who lashes out at others because of her own mistakes" trope. Though at least Shepherd made it clear that he was normally past the age of consent.
5612249
Right there with you, FoME.
I’m curious if there is a version of Shepherd that existed on this side of the mirror as well?
5612249 Yeah, characters like Akane Tendo (or at least what she became) and Naru Narusegawa annoy the hell out of me and I love fanfics where they get called out or otherwise punished for their actions.