• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts456

  • Saturday
    Movie Review: Belle


    Find a theater near you showing it, and go watch it. It is a beautifully animated, well directed movie with wonderful music. Go see it! You won't be disappointed!

    3 comments · 71 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: Human Mating Rituals

    Shepherd has finished his morning training with Chewie. He walks up to his house, where the Elements of Harmony are relaxing in his backyard.

    Shepherd: sigh "Why do you always hang out in my backyard?"

    Pinkie: "You don't change your locks often enough!"

    Dash: "Wow Pinkie. Just going out with that?"

    Pinkie: "It's a joke, silly! Shepherd knows this!"

    Read More

    3 comments · 517 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: Pony Fever

    A number of stallions trot up to Shepherd as he has a hard cider with Big Macintosh.

    Shepherd: "Hey guys. What can I do for you?"

    Lucky: "We want your body fluids!"

    Shepherd: "Pardon?"

    Caramel: "Well... Basically, we want to know why you're so attractive to mares!"

    Thunderlane: "Stop stealing our mares, you jerk! You got pony fever, boy! PONY FEVER!"

    Read More

    8 comments · 431 views
  • 2 weeks
    Plot Bunny Theater: Ascension

    Alicorn ascension is a subject for a lot of fics, and it can be done badly. But it could also be done in interesting ways. For instance, by accident.

    An Earth pony family digs deep into the Earth Pony Magic during foalbirth. Tapping into the magic of the Earth, as far as they can to keep their foal alive. And when he comes out, the foal... Ascended into an alicorn.

    Read More

    5 comments · 248 views
  • 3 weeks
    The Sentencing of Shepherd

    Shepherd is held in chains in front of Celestia in an Equestrian court.

    Celestia: "Andrew Shepherd! You stand accused of breaking hearts and leading on many needy mares!"

    Shepherd: "Wha-That's a crime?!"

    Celestia: "IT IS NOW!"

    Luna: "HEAR HEAR!"

    Fluttershy: "YEAH! I-I mean, um... yeah!"

    Applejack: "Ya man whore!"

    Dash: "Oblivious stallion!"

    Read More

    8 comments · 567 views

I'm Not A Goddamned High School Harem Protagonist! 1 · 12:07am Nov 29th, 2021

So our hero eventually goes to visit the Equestria Girls universe-So called because the world is Equestria but with humans. Alas, it is not his Earth, which sucks. And to make matters worse...


Twilight: "What? What's wrong with being a teenager again?"

Shepherd: "The awkwardness, the hormones, the acne... Well that part wasn't bad because I cleaned my face properly but otherwise it sucked! I'm not doing it again! Fix it right now!"

Celestia: "I'm terribly sorry, Shepherd, I can't do that. The magic of the portal isn't something I'm keen to mess with, especially since it might harm you. You wouldn't want to end up 200 years old, would you?"

Shepherd: "Ugh... Fine... I'll just head back through the portal."

He walks into the statue... And bounces right off it.

Shepherd: "... The hell?!"

Twilight: "Um, Princess-I mean Principal Celestia?"

Celestia: "Well... That's strange."

Shepherd repeatedly tries to get through... Even resorting to bashing his head against the stone pedestal...

Shepherd: "Owww... That... Wasn't a good idea, fuuuuuck...!"

Twilight: "Oh dear! Uh... Principal Celestia?"

Celestia: "Don't worry dear. I'll take care of Shepherd while you work on a way to fix this."

Shepherd: "Why... Why did I do that... Owwwww....?!"

Later, Shepherd wakes up in a guest bedroom of some sort. He rubs his bandaged head, and slowly gets up. He makes his way out the door, looking around carefully. He hears humming downstairs-It appears to be morning. He walks down and finds a kitchen. Principal Celestia is cooking breakfast. She beams at him... Wearing nothing but an apron.

Celestia: "Good morning, Shepherd! Don't worry, breakfast will be done soon!"

Shepherd: "Uh... Huh. Is that your... Usual morning attire?"

Celestia: "Well, my sister and I don't have a lot of... Gentlemen callers."

Luna, naked as the day she was born, walks in with a game headset on her head.

Luna: "Morning Celestia... Morning Shepherd. How are your clothes suiting you?"

Shepherd: "F-Fiiiine...?"

Luna: "What's with you? Aren't ponies used to nudity?"

Shepherd: "Yes, but I wasn't a pony."

Luna: "Sooo... Griffin?"

Shepherd: "I WAS A HUMAN!"

Luna: blinks... Blushes... "... KYAHHHHH!"

She punches Shepherd in the stomach, bowling him over.

Celestia: "AH! Luna! He's still recovering!"

Luna: "But-But he's a human!"

Celestia: "So are we?"


Shepherd: Why me...?!

Comments ( 10 )

The only thing that came to me was...... 不不不不不

I'm...not overly fond of the EQG verse. That being said, this is amusing.

Poor Shepherd. Can't win sometimes.

Continuing with the same theme wouldnt be funny if human Fluttershy was hitting on him thinking used to be a pony and would ask what he look like not realizing hes always been human hell you can throw in applejack as well

Poor Shepard, can never catch a break, even in another parallel universe.

I'm not overly fond of the "physically abusive tsundere who lashes out at others because of her own mistakes" trope. Though at least Shepherd made it clear that he was normally past the age of consent.

Right there with you, FoME.

Im curious if there is a version of Shepherd that existed on this side of the mirror as well?

5612249 Yeah, characters like Akane Tendo (or at least what she became) and Naru Narusegawa annoy the hell out of me and I love fanfics where they get called out or otherwise punished for their actions.

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