Signal Boost: Ace is the Place · 3:56am Sep 19th, 2021
Have you ever wondered what it might be like if a store were staffed by ponies but managed by a human? Good news, you don’t have to wonder any further; Buck Swisher has a story about helpful hardware store ponies.
And it’s on Earth, so that easily ticks both boxes in the Not-A-Contest rules.
True fact, ponies love hardware stores.
Sometimes they love them with fire.
In fact, when I searched for pictures of ponies and hardware stores, most of them involved fire. But enough about that, onto the story!
While I have pondered a story involving a human manager at a pony store, that concept hasn’t really gotten off of the ground. Having said that, even on Earth with an Earth-brand store, I could imagine that the clash of pony culture and human culture could cause all sorts of problems, and require a capable manager to tread lightly. This story is set in late-stage capitalist America, as it plainly points out early on:
"Great!" said Dan. "Does this mean I get a raise?"
"Nope!" replied Fred. "Not in America! Have a good day!"
And if that weren’t enough on the nose . . .
Dan realized that these ponies knew nothing about standard American workplace values.
At the end of the day, though, it’s a relatable story, sort of like The Office but better because it has ponies.
It’s also highly relatable, to be honest. Perhaps painfully so.
Let’s all go to the hardware store.
*surely y’all noticed Incidental Background Mare #9. . . .
Special thanks to Chicago Ted for directing my attention to this story
DIbs on the automatic circumcisers.
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"*surely y’all noticed Incidental Background Mare #9. . . ."
...I don't follow, sorry.
Thanks for the recommendation, though. :)
Whoa... Been a few hot minutes since I last heard THAT song (and I think it was the WoW Machinima version if memory serves.)
But ponies and hardware stores in Corporate America (where the BANK robs YOU) eh? This ought to be an interesting one. At least the tags look very promising!
I like how I can see certain stories in the wackybox and just know that one of my notifications will be an Admiral Biscuit blog about it.
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She’s the heroine of one of my really obscure silly stores, and named “Incidental Background Mare #9” in that story, since at the time, that was what she was called on the comics Wiki. She saved all of Equestria from the, ah, attractiveness of Flash Sentry by murdering him with an axe
You’re welcome!
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If ever there was a reason to put a link to it in a blog post, this was the place and time.
It’s an interesting one. Lots of commenters are begging for more, and I am too. I’d love to see the idea expanded on.
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What’s funny is that I recently had it confirmed that different people have different expectations of me. Bad Horse seems to be of the mind that I mostly write trollfics, for example.
Like, it’s one of those thing I kinda knew, ‘cause I’ve got followers for Twilight Eats a Peach and I’ve got followers for Sam and Rose and those are very different, but it’s still weird to hear someone say that out loud at a convention.
Also, speaking of which, Trotcon?
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nope :B
I really appreciate you shoutin' out my stuff, man...
Means the world.
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Ah. :D Thanks. :)
Either I'm not remembering that, or it's one I haven't gotten to, sorry.
(And I'm still not sure which... oh. It's the one with the axe cutie mark, isn't it? :D)
:)
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Oh, that’s disappointing. 2022 then?
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You’re welcome! It amused me, especially the line about not getting a raise in America.
Like a few people who commented on the story, I wouldn’t mind seeing more of the helpful ponies at Ace.
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No worries, it was a silly story to be honest. And you did guess correctly which one she is.
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It would take a miracle at this point.
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Maybe I’ll kidnap you . . . although that’s kind of a crappy ‘miracle.’
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Yep. Bonus chapter comin' soon.
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Ah, thanks and thanks.
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Huzzah!
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when I had the pleasure of meeting weird Allen person a few years ago which I'm too lazy to find the picture for but it was basically for a Weird Al cosplaying photo anyway I asked him if you would ever play hardware store live or if it was too complex and he said sadly it is too complex for him to attempt live sorry I'm using voice to text and too lazy to edit but you can probably tell what I'm saying