Spike: Tournament Grinder? · 8:01pm Feb 19th, 2021
First off, a reminder that my HarmonyCon panel is tonight. See here for further details.
Now, let’s talk about card games. I know, a stark departure from my usual subject matter.
So, I frequent Estee’s Discord server, and I try not to always talk about Magic: the Gathering. But something came up, and well…
Estee Today at 12:37 PM
You've probably blogged this already, but there's a potentially fun entry in 'What kind of deck/cards would (MLP character) run?’FanOfMostEverything Today at 12:39 PM
Hmm. I generally approach the question from the other direction: How do you represent the character in card form? But it's definitely an intriguing question. Fairly certain I haven't tackled it. Yet.
What followed was fifty minutes of brainstorming and general around-goofing. Of course, it can be hard to follow multiple conversational threads weaving in and out in real time, much less looking back at it. As such, I’ve done some post-processing. Here’s what we came up with, in order of each character first being mentioned:
Luna:
• Permission (“The Nope deck”) (Estee)
• Monoblack, but no undead of any kind. “She says it reinforces negative stereotypes about the night.” (CCC)
Pinkie:
• Red-white, because pink. (CCC)
• Group hug (Hugs not limited to gameplay.) (FoME)
• Silver-bordered. “She insists this is legal. Somewhere.” (Estee)
Twilight:
• Mostly blue, splashing white out of obligation towards Celestia. (CCC)
• Oops, All Spells. Or Delver. (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
• Creatureless monoblue. It’s not a magic obsession; she just can’t find a way to relate to any of the creatures. (Estee)
Rainbow Dash:
• Monoblue aggro, no matter how poorly most of the color is suited for it. (Estee)
• Blue/red spells. Fast, lean, and flashy. (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
Rarity:
• Adapts her strategy so her deck’s colors match her outfit. (CCC)
• White-black artifacts and enchantments matter (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
Applejack:
• Stompy; big creatures and lots of ‘em. (FoME)
• Black-red aggro. It was open; somepony ought to make use of those cards. (Estee)
Ratchette: Artifact deck with instant-speed surprises (Estee)
Fluttershy:
• Creature heavy, but never attacking or blocking. “She'd rather take the damage than let her cute little Stompasaurus get hurt…” (CCC)
• Wall tribal and damaging spells (Estee)
• White-blue control, with mill as a win condition (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
Ditzy Doo: Quirky combo decks with alternate win conditions (FoME)
Celestia:
• Bear hug; like group hug, but you suffer from all things it gives you. You only realize it after it’s too late. (FoME)
• Monowhite, given her cutie mark, but she always gets called away a few minutes into the game. “She doesn't actually know how to play - she doesn't think anypony's caught on yet.” (CCC)
Spike: Scute Swarm.dec. “Because watching ponies rip their own manes out with their teeth is fun!” (Estee)
Shining Armor: White weenie, because of course he does. (FoME)
Chrysalis:
• Weenies. “Which in her case, means that every time she loses, she blames the other players for being weenies.” (Estee)
• “Most changeling queens go for controlling, draining strategies, but Chryssy doesn't have the patience for that playstyle.” (FoME)
• “Chrysalis loudly announces before each draw which card she'd like to draw next. It is later discovered that her entire deck consists of changelings.” (CCC)
(Captain Nitpick, CCC, and I then agreed that her cards always get the text wrong. After all, if she promoted literacy in her hive, who knows what ideas they might get in their empty little heads?)
Cadence: Red-green monsters and burn (CCC)
Sombra: Aristocrats, sacrificing his own expendable minions for value. Also four copies of Enslave. (FoME)
Discord:
• Poker (CCC)
• Or Uno. Or Hearthstone (FoME)
Cheese Sandwich:
• Green-blue with plenty of shuffling effects, yet he consistently gets perfect topdecks. “(His deck is not changelings.) (It's been checked) (Twice)” (CCC)
• “It does, however, have more silver lining than the Cloudsdale Strategic Reserve.” (FoME)
• “Cheese Sandwich runs a changeling deck. As in Changeling: The Dreaming. He's running a cantrip deck. No one has been able to successfully explain to him why this isn't allowed. No one understands how he keeps winning with that thing.” (Estee)
Maud
• Monored. “She announces your annihilation very calmly.” (CCC)
• Red-white aggro. “She finds Nahiri extremely relatable.” (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
• Addendum to above: “Except when Maud compels an eldritch monstrosity to rend the minds and bodies of an unsuspecting populace, she's just inviting Pinkie over for dinner.” (FoME)
Flim: White-blue, played very poorly. Meanwhile, Flam picks your pocket. (CCC)
Lightning Dust: Plays whatever Rainbow Dash is playing, but she fidgets and flicks her cards incessantly during your turn. (FoME)
Starlight:
• Monoblue control, and a very sore loser. (CCC)
• White-blue pillow fort. Also runs a green-blue good stuff deck. Got a problem? Solve it with magic science! (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
Trixie: Monoblue Illusions tribal (Bright Ops)
Scootaloo:
• Also plays whatever Rainbow Dash is playing, but slams down whatever she can as quickly as possible. Especially fliers. (CCC)
• Addendum to above: Regardless of whether or not playing the card is advisable. Or allowed. (FoME)
Garble: “Garble doesn't have the patience for card games. But he's happy to thump you if you try to introduce one to him.” (CCC)
Limestone: Bog-standard beatdown, but heaven help you if you’re running land destruction. (FoME)
Ember: Mostly red, complaining about how weak the fire spells are. (CCC)
Big Macintosh: Control, i.e. “Nope” tribal. (FoME)
Braeburn: Monowhite life gain. He’s… very enthusiastic about it. (CCC)
Yona: Monogreen stompy. Or, more properly, smashy. (CCC)
Sandbar:
• “No one's really sure what Sandbar plays. He's definitely in the tournament. Ponies recall being in his draft pod. But his deck just doesn't stick in the mind. It's almost as bad as that one mare in the sweater who came to the shop with Sunset Shimmer.” (FoME)
• (It was white-blue fliers) (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
That mare in the sweater: Brand new, meta-defining deck no one’s ever seen before. “You're not sure if you're in the presence of genius, madness, or some combination thereof.” (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
Ocellus: Can and will play anything. There’s no predicting what she’ll bring out. (CCC)
Smolder: Monored, but only because she thinks it’s what dragons are supposed to play. (CCC)
Silverstream: Green-blue fliers, for full surf and turf. (CCC)
Gallus: Plays Pauper (commons only) with scuffed-up, twenty-year old cards. “He still terrorizes the local meta.” (FoME)
Feel free to offer your own suggestions in the comments!
I always figured that Chrysalis, if you go the hivemind headcanon, would run Slivers.
~Skeeter The Lurker
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She wishes her minions were that competent. And that she still had minions.
Why, why... why must you do this to me? You know I can't resist!
Luna: Vampire tribal. "Bat ponies have been criminally under-represented, and when they are represented, it's by an author who doesn't know the first thing about real magic."
Pinkie: Green and blue Food deck. Because come on. Alternatively mono-white Gingerbrute aggro.
Twilight: she'd play what I'd play, and this is a guilty pleasure after all these years: Fifth Dawn-era Cog deck. The meta-breaker. It combines tutoring with recursion. "I always have access to the right option, and I never run out of solutions."
Either that, or if she has to do something more recent, I cannot believe no one else thought of it: Jeskai Superfriends. She will insist Fires of Invention does not deserve to be banned, and freak out over the fact that it is.
Rainbow Dash: Five-colour Shrines deck. Because a) it's five colours, duh and b) she's lazy and likes cards that do things on their own without her having to worry about it.
Rarity: Kaldheim Elf Tribal or Angels. "It's just such a wonderful aesthetic, darling."
Applejack: White-Red Equipment-based aggro. "Coz you can't run a good deck with shoddy equipment."
Fluttershy: Bant deck, exalted creatures only, because "Oh, well, I guess I only really need one creature to attack, if that's okay..." Either that or token generators, "Circle of life, I suppose..."
Celestia: Ire of Kaminari or Zenith Flare. Because you will regret challenging her, she will finish you in one blow, it's just a question of how big a blow it'll be and whether she rolls over before she gets to full power.
Either that or a Second Sunrise Egg deck. "Well, if you're going to delay my breakfast anyway..."
Spike: Allies. Because his life got better and better with every friend he made, and as a Dungeon Master he needs adventurers to keep him entertained.
Shining Armour: Mono-white devotion. Turbo lifegain, essentially. Or Luminarch Ascension Turbo-Fog, there's several options.
Chrysalis: now she'd be playing Aristocrats, changeling decks are too obvious for her.
Sombra: Blue Black Agent of Treachery Reanimator. Does not care about the bans.
Cadence: for some reason, always wants to play something Teferi-themed. It's almost like she sees some connection to his character, it's weird.
Discord: plays both Envoys of Chaos, and Chaos Sorcerer, and Dark Magician of Black Chaos, all in one turn. When told that's against the rules, answers 'Screw the rules, I have magic,' at which point a referee (who is also Discord, of course) comes by and explains that it actually is a legal move you can do. Then an official referee comes by and confirms it again: it is a legal move... in Yu-Gi-Oh. Discord always plays a different game from anyone else anyway.
Cheese Sandwich: plays a Scute Mob Mutate deck which includes several copy effects. No one really knows how it works. They tried to run it on Arena and now the server is comitted to playing sudoku. Somewhere in the world, a rules lawyer is crying.
Maud: plays Goblins. "Because they're funny. Hysterical, even."
Mudbriar: Lorwyn-era Treefolk tribal. "I will not tolerate any further stick abuse. These sticks shall abuse you."
Flim: OTK combo deck that mills himself to death. It's not supposed to do that, but it does anyway. Flam tries to convince the other player they're the Chosen One and should hire the two as their manager. All it'll take is a petty sum of fifty bits per match.
Lightning Dust: Goblin Charbelcher combo deck. Somehow has Scootaloo as a card in it.
Starlight: Slivers. "Well, sure, they've all got the same abilities, but each one is special, and they share that specialness... I'm still reformed, I promise..."
Trixie: Grixis control, with Captive Audience as a finisher. Also with a police warrant for Zecora to give back the amulet she paid for with her own money, and which legally is still her property.
Scootaloo: White-Blue flying tribal. When asked about it, she will cite statistics from the Equestrian Surgeon General, bring up the fact Fluttershy was older than her and couldn't fly at Flight Camp, that her wings are the same size as Rumble's, which is a size bigger than Bulk Biceps's, as well as some snide remark about seeing a paediatrician for a diagnosis. Wrapping it up with something about sueing Twilight Sparkle for some particular entries in the now very public Friendship Journal.
Limestone: Golem tribal. 'Nuff said.
Ember: netdecking whatever Brian Kibler happens to be playing at the time (there's a real nerd reference for ya
)
Garble: haven't seen enough of him to judge. Maybe Orzhov bleeder deck? You know, Ill-Gotten Inheritance?
Big Mac: oldschool Simic deck. His creatures all have Graft. (It's a thinker, but works on several levels)
Yona: plays a Merfolk deck with some flyers, because it reminds her of her friend.
Sandbar: plays Mono-Green stompy, reminds him of Yona.
Ocellus: Mono-Black Devotion. To never forget the past. She cringes every time she plays Ayara, but never missplays her.
Smolder: Pyromancer Ascension deck. The Molt was a very defining event in her life, and she has been practising her evil laugh for when the second counter hits.
Silverstream: changeling tribal. For her friends, as well as as her own past, being several things at once yet not being one thing at all.
Gallus: budget Ninja Deck he built purely by attending prereleases and trading, with too many Blinding Powders to be viable, yet strangely functional.
Edit as more ideas come:
Sunburst: Approach of the Second Sun. "See? I left, but then I came back, and we all won! Get it?" *dork noises*
I'd definitely put Fluttershy down for pillowfort or untouchables, getting increasingly frazzled as things get removed.
Sunburst has some obnoxiously hipster shenanigans, and even knows how to run it between trying to do the Anime Scary Shiny Glasses Adjust and having nervous breakdowns.
Twilight forgot what she was doing halfway through, made a bunch of technical excercise decks (draw out fastest, etc.), panicked, and netdecked. Later, she insisted this was merely 'research'.
Trixie is wondering where everyone else's motocycles and hand display thingies are.
Oh, this is fun. I'm not rhe biggest MtG expert, but I do get the general point enough to enjoy this kind of post. I've actually thought about this kind for Hearthstone in the past, never really went too far with it though. I should do it at some point.
I did this early on in my stay on the site, back when I was a bit more in touch with the game, in two crackfics that now really do not fit into my oeuvre at all
I believe the highlights were...
Fluttershy: All pacifism and fog, no actual way to win.
Luna: dug out her Power Nine deck from before her banishment.
Chrysalis: Slivers and doppelgangers.
Trixie: the Magic2012 core set illusions that popped out of existence if targeted by anything.
Lyra: Innistrad tribal humans, obviously.
Silver Spoon: ever the bully's hanger-on, she plays all doppelganger creatures.
Discord: all cards ever made in one deck.
I also amused myself by trying to re-enact some episodes in match form. So Trixie plays illusions against Twilight, who flies them away. And then Trixie plays a powerful eldritch artifact and Twilight tricks her to trade it for a worthless one. And Pinkie keeps playing Betrayal spells against Gilda and stealing all her friends. Good times.
Dr. Whooves - Turns. Played Nexus of Fate before it was banned.
Daring Do - Temur Adventures. Also plays decks with Summoning Trap in Modern and Mindbreak Trap in Vintage.
Chrysalis has a Commander deck headed by Mistform Ultimus.
There's so many characters missing! I'll fill in some of the gaps.
I may add more later.
I disagree with Scootaloo's deck. I mean, yeah, she would probably start off with that (or try to), like how she started off as a massive fan-filly and wannabe sister to Rainbow. However, she grew up and matured, still loving and looking up to Rainbow, but seeing more as an actual pony with flaws, and even calling her out. As such, her deck and playing style would undergo a similar change. Considering her own nature, it would probably evolve into something of a first-strike type of deck.
I hardly know'er!
...
...
...I'll let myself out
How did you go through that many side characters without getting to Sunset? For shame!
That weird feel when Monoblue Aggro decks have been quite good off and on dating all the way back to original Theros.
It started back with Mono Blue Devotion at Pro Tour Theros, and then it resurfaced around Dominaria thanks to ya boy Tempest Djinn (link). And during this entire time, Merfolk was generally an okay deck in Modern, and that was mono blue at the time (pretty sure it's UG now thanks to some of the Merfolk printed in Ixalan).
I understood none of this, but I enjoyed Sandbar's ultra-forgettable deck.
Smolder: RG ramp into dragon tribal
I love this it reminds of my baby, my Monored control deck, has a pretty good win rate too.
I should probably reply to blog comments at some point...
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Brilliant stuff throughout. Kibler in Equestria is an especially hilarious concept. The dragons don't know why they obey him, only that they must. Bonus points if Shiro follows the Spike Principle and becomes an elder dragon in his own right.
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"Trixie didn't spend all that time learning how to ride this thing for nothing!"
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Hey, those crackfics were how I found the rest of your oeuvre. And they had some great stuff in them.
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Excellent additions, especially Pro Tour Tempest. If there's one thing she knows, it's tactical devastation.
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These were more focused on jokes than total accuracy. Though I do love the idea of Scootaloo running a Path of Mettle deck. And as I noted in chat, for Dash's blue aggro approach, Curious Obsession could just be called Wonderbolt Fandom.
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You do know Shiro is already a dragon, right? There was a less-known and now dead online TCG named Duelyst that Kibler promoted at one point. Later on in the Base Set additions, there was a card called Shiro Puppydragon. And it was genuinely a good common, so a lot of players knew it. The game design meant a lot of deck identity revolved around your choice of two-drops and Shiro... well, see for yourself:
static.wikia.nocookie.net/duelyst_gamepedia/images/6/61/Shiro_Puppydragon.png/revision/latest?cb=20161124045303
Shiro was like a terrifying monster to encounter if you were playing meta decks. It implied shifts in your opponent's list that you couldn't account for otherwise, and could lead to some interesting shenanigans, let's say. In a certain matchup (Abyssian swarm vs Magmar), it meant your board was immune to being wiped, for example. In others, it meant your ranged units went from being annoying to being dangerous, or your support units became beaters in their own right. Then there was Wall Vanar, where a Shiro was adding insult to injury. The less said about that deck, the better
So yeah, all hail Shiro, all hail the Dragonmaster and his Dragon Puppy. Long may they smite their foes.
static.wikia.nocookie.net/duelyst_gamepedia/images/a/ab/Shiro_Puppydragon_attack.gif/revision/latest?cb=20160704091058
This is a delightful discussion, but I think my absolute favourite of all the suggestions is
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That just fits far too well.
Some of my own ideas:
Sunset Shimmer: Red-white Auras+Equipment works on several levels, I think.
Diamond Tiara: Used to netdeck the most obnoxious control decks. Now she plays group hug.
Quibble Pants: Opalescence-Humility, Life and Limb-Conspiracy, and Rules Lawyer.
Autumn Blaze: Storm. Both for saying lots of things one after another in very short succession, and because, y'know, rainbows won't light up the sky unless you let it rain...
As for this bit:
This is how my game teaching my 7-year-old went. I built her a deck of cute unicorns and hounds and things. She was quite happy to attack as long as I had no blockers. She would absolutely never attack if I could possibly block to kill one of her creatures no matter how strategically bad for me it'd be. When I first played a combat trick so one of her creatures was about to die, she burst into tears and said she didn't want to play this game any more.