Onwards to 2021! · 2:55am Jan 1st, 2021
This year. Gods this year. Past year in some places, at least. Even the light at the end of the tunnel on this side at the pond is murky with political skullduggery. But! I'm not going there again. I think we can all take a reprieve from that, on this night of all others. Or try to, at least.
Quarantine has been hard for everyone. It's... drained me, pushed my patience, fed my exasperation, changed the norm... brought out the worst in people... and that's the cloud that hangs over all the other bad that simply took place this year alone. I admit, I grew disillusioned with many things here as a community. Yeah, I've known we're not perfect, but reading the defense of the worst of humanity, the constant stream of so much hate thrown at everyone here in defense of inexcusable ideals and worse, manipulating others constantly... even for someone that loves this community, can be a bit much.
The last few months I felt my imagination slowly die. It was a struggle to read anything here—I've fallen behind on so many stories I was reading—and the pressure to write something was not helping, because I ultimately felt I was failing at the one thing I am supposed to do well enough. There are many factors that have done so, but the above, as well as the inability to see friends, or family or really do anything... waking up and seeing across the room the desk where I'd be sitting for 8 hours for work every day... it was... discouraging, and my site and friends here were being torn apart from the inside out with dystopian efficiency.
Isolated, with less enthusiasm and even morale to engage in creative things, or even reach out to my friends online, I feel like I was deteriorating on many levels and I felt my creativity was just dead.
I built Gunpla, wrote a little... a lot less than I wanted. I had very few moments of true personal joy, and if it weren't for my kid being here most of the time, and a few TV shows and movies, I feel I'd be much worse.
I started about five different chapters of Isekai. I have a short-ish series I've worked on, but it's not finished (and with the amount of time it should've been), and quite honestly it was getting harder and harder to gain any motivation to write. My Jinglemas selection was arguably with the worst characters for me: Spike and AJ.
I don't hate them... buuut... I just don't find them appealing. AJ's arc as a character was done by the time she was introduced, and Spike... I still think the creators of the show would have done everyone a favor if he'd had a lot less screen time and let us, the fans, build his personality outside of their restraints (like with Lyra, Octavia, Vinyl, etc.)
But that was my lot, and after being dry for months, I somehow managed to scrunch up whatever it is that you can call it. I don't think it's half bad, although the ending sent mixed messages. I honestly tweaked their personalities a bit, because otherwise, writing a straight SoL for them would have demanded something of me I was not in a position to even remotely attempt.
Bear in mind, this is my first one-shot since:
back in March.
I understand people here are patient, but I feel like I just let everyone and myself down on this. And worse, gave a Jinglemas present that could've been much better. I think the biggest irony there however, was that as much as they are not my favorite characters, it was Spike and AJ that got me writing again. If that hadn't been something I felt I needed to deliver in some way or another, I would have gotten stuck in a rut were it not for the appearance of a champion among champions...
This movie, and the song "Monster" are both gems.
I was close... I could feel hope and happiness emerging along the changing winds of the world of humans as the many nightmares slowly approach their end, and I was so close to doing something... to be able to put pen to paper and write again. I just needed a final push.
And there it was... that something else that finally dragged me out of the Swamp of Sadness, where I was already exchanging notes with Artax:
Not even Grogu (Baby Yoda for you miscreants) could do that for me. This movie just struck at my heart, past all barriers. It's a joy to watch, and the art of it... ye gods. The artbook is a beauty to hold. The music is fantastic, and Sean Bean is the dad. I mean. Come on.
Regardless of... everything, and even despite certain efforts to bring misery and hate to our site and community, my faith in us as a whole is still strong, and somehow this movie reminded me of that. It brought me out of despair, and it got me drawing and writing, and thinking and imagining.
And I feel lighter of heart, because in the end, the worst year I have been through in my life still wasn't enough to tear that away from me, however close it and its agents of hate and mistrust got. So I'm back on track, and so is Isekai and so are other stories, I hope.
Here's to a future of storytelling. A new beginning to aim for to be better at everything. To be better people. Better fathers. Better friends. It won't happen at the snap of fingers but it is the beginning of a better future for all.
Can't read blog... must write stories.
This year wasn't all terrible. I got to meet Wanderer D at Bronycon, and that was pretty cool.
Wait a second that was 2019.
Nevermind it was all terrible.
5426053 Well, I got to... Wait a minute. Same thing. You're right.
I left Star Wars after the Disney trilogy.
Also according to current science the lockdowns DO NOT WORK. This is just an excuse for politicians to gain power at our expense.
I watched Wolfwalkers and the Book of Kell on Kimcartoon.
I’ve had a few dark moments this year, the deaths of family/friends. The loss of a job that’s held me stable for a decade. (Damn I feel older than I should) And a variety of other nasty bits.
But I do remember this: this year was but a moment, there will be more that are better, and sadly even some that may be even worse. Everyone has struggled and bear their own weight...
I’m glad you have found some light. Here’s to the continuation of spreading it to others.
Here's to a better, happier New Year.
5426079
They didn't work because not enough people adhered to them or the rest of the precautions laid out for them.
Glad to see you're still on your feet, D. Here's to a new year and a better community through bettering ourselves.
5426238
Look people have to make money to eat. Most people aren't well off and are barely scrapping by as it is. Foodbanks, homeless kitchens, and other facilities see a lot of traffic. Supermarkets see a lot of traffic. For our health we have to go outside and exercise. Also the government still expects their taxes.
There is no way to adhere realistically to lockdown mandates. Would you have people starve and be homeless?
Honestly. Quarantine didn't change much for me because I never go outside unless I have to do something
Wolfwalkers is made by an incredible studio
Happy new year! Onwards and upwards to 2021!
Oh, dear; I'm sorry about the troubles you've been having.
I'm glad it sounds like you're coming out of them. :)
Happy new year, and good luck!
5426302
Don't know what country you're living in, but most places still keep essential shops open and allow you to exercise. Food shops have not and will not close down. Hell, even during our strictest lockdown we could go outside to exercise.
Regardless, happy New Year! Hopefully 2021 is less ... interesting than 2020!
5427401
The issue is, which seems to be lost when writing my previous response is that you still need money and your still interacting with people. When your exercising you pass by other people. A lot of people are still working so they're interacting with people who are coming to shop.
Your interacting with people in order to get food or other important services so you can never truly isolate which makes the lockdown pointless.
In reality only the most susceptible to the virus should be isolating, those with conditions and the elderly.
Happy new year!
I watched Wolfwalkers, and it was a really nice movie... but I couldn't help but wonder later what kind of 'accidents' could happen to a teenager in an adult wolf body who "runs with the wolves" and fully gives in to her wild side, when things affecting her wolf body also affect her human one
(Watch the exciting sequel: Wolf Children
)