Shakespearicy Theory #2 · 6:44pm Nov 14th, 2020
Shakespearicy Theory #2:
Mayor Mare is Pinkie Pie's mother.
Wait, what? Yes, Pinkie Pie is the illegitimate daughter of Mayor Mare. And I can prove it!
First, let's examine Pinkie Pie. Right away we can tell something is amiss when comparing her to the rest of her "family".
One of these things is not like the others.
"But Shakes," I hear you say, "You're wrong! Pinkie Pie might not look like anypony in her family, but aside from their unique, voluminous hair, she doesn't look at all like Mayor Mare either!"
And I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Because...
I present to you, from S2E23 Ponyville Confidential, when we find out that Mayor Mare actually dyes her mane and tail grey. Her natural color is pink! Just like Pinkie Pie's!
And this evidence is further corroborated in the flashback episode of S7E13 The Perfect Pear.
Where we see a younger Mayor Mare marrying Bright Mac and Pear Butter.
"But Shakes! That poofy mane isn't the hair style that Pinkie Pie was born with!"
and then you pull up this version of Pinkie from S1E25 Party of One.
And/or S1E23 Cutie Mark Chronicles.
And you'd be wrong, because:
1. You don't know what mane she was 'born with'. This is never actually seen. And it may be the case that Pinkie was made to style her mane in such a way to fit in.
2. Much like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, what we see here is Pinkie in an unnatural state. In both cases, we see Pinkie, quite literally, not being herself. In fact, Party of One makes this point very strongly. This Pinkie is miserable. And in fact, she says as much with poignant melancholy in Cutie Mark Chronicles.
"My sisters and I were raised on a rock farm outside of Ponyville. We spent our days working the fields. There was no talking. There was no smiling. There were only rocks."
It was not until she saw the resultant rainbow from the first Sonic Rainboom that she discovered all the colors beyond the drab earth tones of the rock farm. And that was when she (re)discovered her true self.
"But wait, what about her 'twin' sister, Marble Pie? They both had the same mane style prior to the Sonic Rainboom!"
Oh ho ho, don't worry! We will talk about Marble Pie in just a minute!
But first, let's address the most pertinent question that must be rattling around in your head right now:
WHY?
If Mayor Mare actually is Pinkie Pie's mother, and not Cloudy Quartz, then why, oh why, was she living with the rest of that family on a rock farm? Come to think of it, Pinkie Pie's name has nothing to do with rocks. And her cutie mark is balloons! That's like the opposite of a rock! What is she doing in that family?
Because, my dear reader, because of who her father is: Igneous Rock.
"But Shakes, even if Mayor Mare is, and always has been unwed, Igneous Rock is a married stallion!"
Yes. He is.
So what the hell happened?
Well, I don't expect everyone reading this to have a degree in economics, but I want you to try to imagine how profitable a rock farm might be. Spoiler alert: It's not. But that farm is on land. And that property has taxes. And with no appreciable income after a hard winter, defaulting on taxes will have the government and/or mortgage bank come a knock'n on your door.
Igneous Rock is a proud stallion, but he doesn't want to lose his family's farm. He begs and pleads with the mayor. The mayor is a young, sympathetic mare with a bleeding heart. She had just wed Bright Mac and Pear Butter a couple years prior. Always the officiator, never a bride. And with that spring came an especially powerful estrus for the lonely mare. With the rugged earth pony backed into a corner, she had the perfect opportunity to make an indecent proposal. If he would be her stud for that spring, she would give him another year to come up with the money.
Igneous is a loyal stallion to his wife, Cloudy Quartz. But they had sworn to each other on the day of their marriage that they would do whatever it took to protect the farm. With her permission, and comfort in the knowledge that it was 'just business' and he didn't love the mayor, she allowed him to stud Mayor Mare. Which wasn't to say he didn't also stud his wife. Eleven months later, Pinkie Pie was the result. But so was Mable Pie, the daughter of Cloudy.
Mayor Mare could not be both the mayor the town needed, and a single mother. And Igneous was a stallion of honor. Doing right by the mayor, he offers to take little Pinkie Pie, and raise her as his own. Pinkie Pie and Marble's older siblings, Maud and Limestone, were told that the two foals were their 'twin' little sisters.
Igneous raised Pinkie on the condition that the farm not be at risk of defaulting to the town taxes, and with his promise to never tell anypony that Pinkie Pie was Mayor Mare's illegitimate daughter. It was a secret that only he, his wife, and the mayor would ever know.
But hey, that's just a theory.
A Shakespearicy Theory!
HOLY *BLEEP*
You're a super-analyst...
This sounds like a story in the works.
5398055
Like a regular analyst, but with a cape.
i.pinimg.com/originals/e6/17/d4/e617d4a4af30be64b8ede308e36c4435.jpg
I feel like Lil' Cheese isn’t even Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich's kid, he’s Pinkie and Fluttershy's kid.
I'd believe it more if it wasn't mlp, where physics mean little and genetics in ponies even less...
5398059
Or the foal of Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake. But that is a topic for another Shakespearicy Theory blog.
Interesting, never seen this theory before. Though that does beg the question of why the town would keep so hush about it. Although Ponyville wouldn’t know it was Pinkie, I’m sure someone would look into why the town’s mayor was pregnant for 11 months only for there not to be a foal.
So......
When you gonna write a clopfic on this Shakes?
Another fun and thought provoking theory. Thanks Shank.
5398069
"Wow, the mayor sure is getting fat."
A couple months later.
"Wow! The mayor lost a lot of weight!"
5398105
You know what, I’ll take it
ok the cmc have lost there therie makign privliges again
I actually like that theory a lot. And it would be another reason for Igneous to send Pinkie to Ponyville-- so she can be near Mom, even she doesn't realize it. That would be purely for Mayor Mare's sake.
5398130
I don't think he necessarily sent her there, but I'm sure it was a factor for him having no objection to her moving into town "for work" at Sugarcube Corner.
I gotta wonder if these posts will someday score you an angry letter by hasbro.
5398143
That would just prove me right.
you said rocks aren't profitable, but they do mine gems and the like do they not?
5398153
Judging from the show, no.
"There were only rocks."
But Shakes, think about the incest! Now, if Maud and Pinkie bump uglies, it's not sisterly bonding, just generic mare on mare sex.
5398154
But marble and granite are very profitable if you can get the right color combinations and or size. The lowest I've seen is 120 a ton but I assume that's industrial/aggregate pricing. Saw it as high as 2k a m^3 raw.
On the other hand a small family farm is going to lose out to a large industrial farm and when there is a slump in the market tha small farm suffers more than the large farm.
5398166
They still have the same father.
5398184
Yeah, someone already reminded me on Discord.
5398176
I've also heard that they sell rocks as pets. Hardly a deal-spinner.
Well played. I was under the impression that the Pie farm was a significant train ride away from Ponyville, and not in Mayor Mare's circle of influence tho?
5398196
That's what I thought too.
Pinkie could also be a one-night stand between Igneous and Mrs. Cake, since Mayor Mare naming her daughter "Pinkie Pie" doesn't exactly sound like something she'd name a potential daughter. Mrs. Cake though? Absolutely.
5398196
Well let's take a look at the canon map.
media.discordapp.net/attachments/564902206806032389/777264875424055296/unknown.png
Here we see that the Rock Farm is closer to both Appleloosa, and Las Pegasus.
However, Appleloosa didn't exist at the time Pinkie Pie was born, as it was still just being established in S1E21 Over a Barrel.
And Las Pegasus moves around on clouds. So it may be closer to the rock farm at the time in this image. But more importantly, as a cloud district, it likely has just as little to do with any province on the ground.
That really only leaves Ponyville as the closest major municipal.
5398222
> TFW your wife has had an earth pony, pegasus and unicorn foal with literally every pony but you
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/611/115/6c5.gif
I have heard it said that when your business is failing and you're struggling to pay rent, yet another foal to feed is just what you need
This kinda reminds me of when I first saw Mayor Mare's pink mane, I thought she'd turn out to be Granny Pie and just used Mayor Mare for a work name.
5398226
I mean, that's my fetish, so...
5398154
Arent gems rocks?
The crazier the theory, the more right it is, so I'll take it.
5398354
sauce: fossilera
Not even stone.
Just rock. Just. Rock.
5398405
Is says rocks are not crystals, but it doesn't say crystals arent rocks. Like rectangles and squares. Any square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square.
Also, everyone surely remembers Pinkie's filing cabinets, right?
And what was Ivory Scroll's Nightmare Night costume? A CLOWN.
This… Actually could totally work. One of my favorite touches of how the writers showed Equestria is similar yet different to our world is how Mayor Mare dyed her pink hair grey as opposed to the opposite that would happen in our world, and you’ve taken that and turned it into a wonderful fridge brilliance moment! Thanks for sharing!
5398474
If the object fits into the tight category of crystal, then it is deliberately obtuse to classify the object broadly as rock.
Squares are rectangles, true; but if you want a square, then you must specify square. If you say rectangle, then you may receive an improperly sized object.
It didn't say crystals aren't rocks, but it did say that rocks aren't crystal themselves as rocks are aggregate.
If crystals were rocks, then rocks would be crystals, because rocks would no longer be aggregates.
Being aggregate is an important characteristic of rocks; crystals are singular structures, not aggregates.
Rock aggregate can contain disparate crystal structures and minerals, but crystal can only be a collective of itself.
I really don't want to find another source because it's getting late and we're debating rocks; but I'll have you know I've a mean rock collection, so you best watch out
5400195
rectangles aren't all squares, theres sub categories.
also you know as well as i do that its an expression. like when someone holds up a cut shape of compressed carbon inset upon a shaped band of precious metal, and when it is sizable they say, "look at the size of that rock"
don't be "that guy"
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/021/665/DpQ9YJl.png
5400261
hm...Well I was just trying to stick to concise language, but if jackassery is what you want
"rectangles aren't all squares, there[ are] sub categories"
Ackchyually, that is what I said, yes; I'm glad you understood that.
Don't be "that guy" just because your rock knowledge is limited.
"Look at the size of that rock?" No one says that; it's "look at the size of this stone!"
It seems to me that you can't accept being wrong; you're trying to mince words to transform gems into rocks.
"Are gems considered rocks?"
"No, one is a subcategory."
"Are some rocks considered gems?"
"Yes, why?"
"Tally another gem sale!"
"Did they die of COVID?"
"No, they died in a car crash."
"But did they have COVID?"
"Yes, why?"
"Tally another COVID death!"
camo.fimfiction.net/AC9u9mbM19ScRfhFl_7nx9D0VyeeBjQNa1dLXN_SPrQ?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fentries%2Ficons%2Foriginal%2F000%2F021%2F665%2FDpQ9YJl.png
Did I use enough pictures for you; is this what you wanted?
I only wanted to share what I knew with ~friends~!
Since we're such good ~friends~
smol edit: luv u!
Issue is: A "Rock-farm" Might just be a mine under a different name. There's also the profitability of things like sand or gravel: It's a real possibility that the farm makes a lot of money, and the name has to do with how the mine is distributed. In this instance, a "farm" may just refer to a resource company that is run by a family. Most likely, the rocks are sold for their minerals and other parts, along with the occasional antique-r who may buy rocks for exorbitant prices. Although the limited research I've done on the matter centers around get rich quick schemes and historical precedent (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfRt7a7HZsE is a good explanation of why, look around the four minute mark to the 6-ish minute mark for a good overview.). Equestria is under-industrialized at the moment compared to the U.S during the time in which gravel would be used for road making, and evidence of road making is lacking (although industrial construction does appear later in the show, which could still mean a granite excavation group could be sending the resources over to private or public buyers).
And, as the episode on the rock farm during Christmas (forgot the name of it or when it aired) showed, there's a gem repository under some regions of the area (although if I do so correctly remember, it was unknown to the family at the time.)
Although, both of our accounts of what could have happened fail to address one thing: why in the heck does the rock farm exist in such poverty? (and more importantly, how did they survive for presumably at least 18 years) If there was a grant or other suistance fund given, food would be able to be served to the family or acquired to the family. This does not seem to be the case, as a rock soup* is the best they can offer themselves. This could be something they enjoy to eat, or are only eating due to Amish-esque traditions, but it still is hard to find much (other than the fact that they did not have to move) to say that they even have a sustainable source of income.
(Keep in mind paragraph 1 and paragraph 2 + 3 are not meant to be synthesized together. Paragraph 2+3 is more likely than 1 to be true.)
(*possibly a misremembered detail)
What an entertaining theory. I like it!
I can't deny this. It's too strong.
Headcanon accepted.