noise."Story Notes: Portrait of a Kirin · 1:05am Nov 5th, 2020
I sorta had a plan for an election day fic. A coup, involving Luna.
Marching up to the white house, her saddlebags bulging with cans of soup ‘for her family,’ maybe some batponies.
Everybody loves batponies.
I could toss in a few more memes here and there, and I could also have her pronouncement of herself as Emperor of the United States (or Empress, I was still undecided on that one) echo Emperor Norton I’s similar declaration. For example, y’all can see how easily this could be ponified:
At the peremptory request and desire of a large majority of the citizens of these United States, I, Joshua Norton, formerly of Algoa Bay, Cape of Good Hope, and now for the last 9 years and 10 months past of San Francisco, California, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of these United States; and in virtue of the authority thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different States of the Union to assemble in Musical Hall, of this city, on the 1st day of February next, then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.
(And let’s be honest, for those of you who don’t know who Emperor Norton was, boy you’re in for a treat. The King of Hawaii [Kamehameha V] didn’t like dealing with the US government, instead recognizing Emperor Norton as the “sole leader of the US.”)
Legend has it that his funeral procession was attended by upwards of ten thousand residents, and the currency he issued was accepted at local businesses.
Reaction-wise, I figured it’d go over like my last one. Lots of downvotes, hyper-partisan comments, various personal attacks, at least one un-follow. (With the accompanying message “you betrayed me,” no less.)
But, as election time grew close, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could take the flak; I’ve posted controversial stuff before and honestly listening to a few people in my comments section telling me how I’m wrong is far less tiresome than my manager doing it. Especially when his idea of a proper debate is interrupt and yell. And when it’s possible that he may believe trees can vote. His suggestion for redistricting Michigan certainly hinted at it, anyway.
[To be fair, most trees are over 18, and most of them were ‘born’ in the United States, thereby making them citizens by a very loose definition of what it is to be a citizen.]
Anyway, point is that a fic that was polarizing wasn’t what we needed. Instead, we needed something that everybody (with one exception so far) could agree on--snuggling ponies is good.
One could argue just how cute Cinder Glow is, I suppose, and if one did, one would be wrong. She’s adorable and floofy.
[She’s also, according to the Wiki, not officially named, but I could swear that Autumn Blaze used her name in the show which counts as official in my book.]
That’s about it for actual facts in this blog post. Kirin are adorable and Cinder Glow is adorable.
What more do you need?
Also, friendly reminder, before you post a comment, ask yourself what would Cinder Glow do?
If your answer is ‘political rant,’ you’ll get an angry batpony.
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I don’t know what she’s saying, but she’s mad. And I can copy-paste that for days.
I vote we institute a kirin breeding program to cross them with bat ponies. The synergy would put the cuteness to over 9000!!1! It is win win!
See Also; why I haven't really written any projects I've stated passion for in a year.
I once read a book called Project Pope.
So can we, given Microsoft buying up GPT-3, instead make a self owned Project Patrician?
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Basically it says “Shut up! Or I’ll break your wings!”
POLITICAL RANT
I'm waiting
The idea of Luna declaring herself ruler of the US would be...Fun. Especially with this exchange:
Luna strolled up to the President and, using the Royal Canterlot Voice, stated "TRULY I DECLARE, SIRRAH, THAT THOU...ART AN ASS!...no offense intended", turning to one of the Guards, a mule
"None taken, Highness"
The President fumed, he sputtered, and then he used Words, to make A Statement! "Fake News!"
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... and yes, I was (trying in my rather pathetic way) to channel Estee, May They Have Mercy on My Soul!
Pony Snuggles are good for what ails you, wish I could have some, Don't get me wrong, my Twilight Plushie does a pretty good job, but a full-sized pony would be extra snuggly.
In regards to the election, I found a video some time ago that you might get a giggle out of
I think people from all walks of life would gladly like other people in leadership. I think may would love to have Luna as our leader.
I've always preferred laughing over arguing. Less anger issues that way.
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I can read half of that, and I think it rude to say that my political rant is unwanted noise, batpony.
I vaguely recognize the other characters but eh, effort to translate them :D
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The simple fact that it's genuinely relevant tells me things.
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I’m keeping that strategy in the back of my head going forward. It’s amazing.
Emperor Norton was awesome incarnate.
The patron saint of Discordianism.
A soup coup? How would you pronounce that?
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........what?
Can I get an angry bat pony?
"The King of Hawaii [Kamehameha V] didn’t like dealing with the US government, instead recognizing Emperor Norton as the “sole leader of the US.”"
...That detail I did not know. :D
Anyway, thanks. :)
(Though I don't think I get the soup thing.)
- I know I'll sounds strange ..but may be exactly some level of abstractness (via texting for example) may help here? People usually dislike how Internet communication lacks something real world one can provide - but may even those effects can be put to good use?
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sure!
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You are never wrong with that one.
Cinder Glow would demand scritches and snuggles, and I would give them to her, as required by Law. And common sense.
Cinder Glow isn't named in the show. In fact, at the start there were three competing names: Cinder Glow won out over Summer Flare and /mlp/'s preferred name of Brownie Holocaust. Which is a terrible name but also incredibly funny in that indescribable awful way 4chan has.
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Rather, the Discordians actually needed to invent a new kind of saint because they didn't have a way of sanctifying non-fictional people until he came around.
Wütendes japanisches (?) Fledermauspony? Melden Sie mich an.
I did that through Google Translate, I haven’t had german class yet.
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With a lot of laughter as you inevitably screw up the first two or three tries?
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What are you talking about, it's easier to make a Saint or Pope in Discordianism than literally any other religion.
I hereby canonize Saint Admiral Biscuit, Patron Saint of Kirin
done~
actually since fim was kinda made in canada would that kinda make them canadian citizens i mean since im from the country of maple syrup i mean id love to canada be ruled by Twilight Sparkle i mean we canuks are ruled by royalty in a way and when was the last time our monarchs did anything remotely responsible instead of looking pretty at tea parties
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If you can read this, you are a princess!
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thank you
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If Roger Rabbit rules suddenly started applying, it arguably would... assuming we actually treated them as people, which was only mostly in evidence in the movie and original book.
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I mean, as long as you’ve got consenting kirin and batponies . . .
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Because every moment you were about to get motivate, 2020 was there to slap you upside the head with a fish?
You know, I just realized John Oliver warned us of this.
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Maybe. If Microsoft’s at the helm, I wouldn’t expect it to work as expected, though.
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Somebody else machine-translated it as “It's noisy !! I'll break it into wings !!” which amuses me.
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I was thinking more along the lines of V from Vendetta’s speech (”behind this mask is an idea, etc.) except replace ‘idea’ with ‘soup can.’ And then she yeets it at him, and it’s game over.
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Agreed.
I do love that. I’d vote for her. (I did consider writing her in on my ballot, actually . . . not for president, but for a down-ballot race.)
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I, for one, would welcome our new pony overlords.
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You’re not wrong.
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At this point in the game, all political rants on my blog posts that aren’t about politics are unwanted noise.
That’s all right, I’ve got no idea what they say. But I do know that she’s a batpony with anger issues, and ask Present Perfect about batponies.
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That I got lucky picking an image, lol?
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Yeah, I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner.
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You’re darn right he was.
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According to the internet, sup ku. Which, in Tok Pisin--the official language of Papua New Guinea--means wheelbarrow, which is how you carry all the cans of soup to your coup.
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silly changeling; tea is for princesses.
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Yeah, neither did I until I re-read the Wikipedia page.
It’s a political meme.