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Don't read my stuff if you have a weak stomach or are easily bothered by traumatic genitalia damage. That's seriously all I've got in here!

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Since I'm stuck here in quarantine... · 6:31pm Mar 19th, 2020

Why not? AMA, folks. Ask away, everything is fair game, nothing is too strange. Bring it.


Report anonpencil · 209 views · #ama
Comments ( 41 )

What color are your thoughts?

You're in quarantine too? So am I. :heart: My question is: do you have a favourite alcohol beverage?

Do you like penguins? On the one hand, they're well known in the literature for necrophilia and other sexual deviancy, and birds in general are associated with vomiting into each others' mouths, but they also lack external testes or phalli. (For those wondering what that has to do with anything, scroll up a bit and read her short bio)

Whose dick do I need to suck to get a Barcast interview?


My thoughts tend to be in color? But I've had dreams in black and white. When I think hard it's usually just white text, black background. I'm weirdly conscious of this.


OOOOH that's TOUGH. Scotch is up there, but if I have to say honestly? Probably wine. My favorite MIXED drink is even more difficult, with Moscow Mules, Bloody Marries, and pina coladas leading the way.


I legit love penguins. They are not my favorite creature? But I think penguins are damn fascinating, and the way they swim is mesmerizing.


The great etherial horse god's. No amount of begging or sacrificing children to the Barcasters themselves will get ya on the Barcast.

Hehe. I enjoy the Barcast and asking questions. Who knows? Maybe we might meet our time, Trampoline. :raritywink:

New question.
You and I are in a Freaky Friday situation. What challenges and surprises do you think you will discover inhabiting my meat-suit? What do you think I will do in yours?

How come you can pee without pooing but you can’t poo without peeing?

If I were to be sent into a lovely case of social isolation by uncle Sam, what should be my bucket list be for entertainment to wait out the boredom?

I can only do the bedroom boogie for so long.

Well, first of all, apparently I have to deal with all sorts of dick and nut issues. Second, I'd have to work in an area that would terrify me. Third, I'd have to speak spanish a WHOLE lot better, and last WHAT THE SHIT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY??? I would, however, eat ALL the things I cannot eat at my earliest convenience.

...you can't poo without peeing??
...am I abnormal?


Okay, so for me, there are some things you really, really should do at some point in your life:
-Watch "don't hug me I'm scared"
-Play Katawa Shojou
-Join the Barcast discord server
-Write stream of consciousness about nothing and everything, and get to know yourself better
-Learn to bake bread
-Practice a new language
-Sing and dance like no one is watching, because they aren't
-Try yoga or meditation
-Take a long, actual spa-style bubble bath, completely with candles, wine, and soft music
-Wear an extravagant costume, all on your own, for no one but yourself
-Write down a new world, then write yourself as a character in it, just to see what you'd do
-Write a love letter to someone who you'll never send it to, even just someone you admire, or a friend
-Play with Inspirobot
-Try AI Dungeon (make it write porn for you)
-Try a brand new way of masturbating. Regret everything.
-Eat a meal that is entirely pudding

I hope this helps.

Sorry to hear you’re in quarantine, hope you and yours are all safe and coping.

Questions... ummm

What is the most disturbing thing you’ve ever witnessed in person?

We've talked a bit about shiny rocks and gemstones before. What would you say is your most prized piece of your collection of stones/gemstones? How did you find/get that piece?

What other hobbies do you have besides writing and cooking?

on a scale of one to potato, how purple is the grass?

Sorry about the quarantine. I hope it gets lifted for you.

1. What's you all-time favorite episode of Star Trek?


There are... a lot of answers to this. None of them pretty. I used to work in a medial lockdown unit for those with dementia who were still very mobile, but had to be constantly stopped. I was there during an outbreak of Norovirus. Many things I saw there, including the deaths... that's high on the list.
In a neighboring unit, I did come in once to find an elderly woman who'd recently slit her wrists with scissors. She seemed very disappointed I'd arrived before she managed to kill herself. The same woman later asked me to smother her with a pillow, assuring me that it wouldn't take very long, so it wouldn't inconvenience me too much.
You... see things working medical. Sticks with you.

On a lighter, and much easier note, that would be a trio of garnets. My husband, when he was planning to propose, fashioned a ring from Sterling silver with his own hands. He then went out to a mine, and mined three garnets to set in the ring. The garnets, however, vanished from his home. He proposed with the un-stoned ring, which was fine by me. Years later, his mother found the stones. she'd put them in a cupboard when she saw them on the counter for "safe keeping" and told NO ONE. She later forgot, and they went missing for about half of my marriage. Now that I have them, they are very very precious to me.

Besides writing and cooking? I like doing pencil sketches, gaming, and singing. But my passion is hockey. I fucking. Love. Hockey. I play, I watch... San Jose Sharks, win or lose I love those boys.

The grass is Bleventeen levels of purple.


UGGGGGGH This is cruel! Hmmmm. Anything with Q is good, and of course Darmok has a special place in my heart. ;) I have to say, my favorite series is probably Next Gen, hands down, but my favorite episode might be from DS9. "In The Pale Moonlight" still hits me in all the right ways and makes me want to write like crazy. But, if you asked me this question tomorrow, I'd probably have a different answer.

Si, senorita. This shall be considered if I must go the way of the NEET.

(God I hope not, I hate not working)!

Darmok is fucking awesome, yes. And same. Ask me seven days and I'll give you seven answers.

Favorite kind of pen or pencil (BIC, Uniball, Sharpie?)

I'm a Pentel person myself.

Ye olde mechanical pencils. I do sketch quite a bit still, and I prefer those unless I'm going to do a lot of shading and smudging. Thin, clean lines are so nice. :)

Yep. Glad to hear it .I can't stand wooden pencils.

why are you so lovely? this is an important question

Upvoted for, well, let's just say that most of the horrible gore and mutilation in your stories is probably drawn from experience and leave it at the fact that you deserve happiness for not having the option to walk away that you deliberately encourage in the rest of us.


N-no u...

But If I'm going to check my ego at the door and try to answer honestly why I... TRY to be a decent human being at times? People suffer. People suffer needlessly, and it's not fair at all. I find a distinct lack of fairness and justice and mercy in this world. So if the whole of existence is unwilling to show these traits, then I will. If life won't be kind to people who deserve it, then I sure as hell am going to be. I don't always succeed. I'm not always good at it. I'm kind of shit, often at that. But people deserve nice things. And if I can feasibly give it to them, I want to do that.
And... honestly? I don't want anyone to suffer in some of the ways I have. If I can prevent that, I will.

I think both of you are pretty cool!:raritywink:

Do you prefer kilts or pants?

Pencil is a girl IIRC, so they're just skirts.

I meant which does she prefer to see.

But girls can wear kilts, too.

I am very very Scottish by ancestry, and still participate in the local chapter of Clan MacFarlane. I was even married in a Scottish wedding gown! Loch Sloy mufuckas! I have several pieces of clothing in my tartan, and I love trying to remember who's who at Scottish clan gatherings just by their kilt tartans. I don't remember all, but some. When I see that Campbell tartan, though, we got beef to settle...

If the NHL season restarts, is it okay to cheer for the Penguins? The Lightning?

Fuck, marry, kill: The Ducks, The Kings, and The Golden Knights


Oh god, don't do this to me. DON'T DO THIS TOOOO MEEEEEE!!!!
Honestly, though, I have trouble cheering for the pens for obvious reasons, but... if Marleau can get a cup with them, I'll cry happy tears of joy for him as he lifts the cup. I truly, honestly will.
The Lightening? No issue. I just can't cheer for the Knights. Ever.

Mary Kings, because I would always be the dominant one in the relationship and would never feel threatened by them in any way. Fuck the Ducks. Just... fuck those guys. And kill the Knights. Like we did. In game 7. THE SCORE WAS 3-0, BOYS. THREE. TO. NOTHING.

I'm Scotch, Irish and English ancestry (don't ask me how that all happened, but I bet it makes for good stories over good whiskey!) I'm still researching my heritage and which clans I'm might be from, but I have a Nightwatch tartan that I wear at conventions.

One time my spouse came in my room (we don't live together, long story) and I had laid it out on the bed to keep the pleats straight after I'd washed it. She called me and asked whose skirt was on the bed. I told her it was my kilt and she told me I was weird.

Fuck Marry Kill:

Douglas Adams
Peter S. Beagle
George Orwell

...first of all, how dare you.
Kill Georgie boy, mostly because I couldn't stand to kill the others.
Mary Peter S. Beagle because I love him on a very deep, emotional level. And having met him in person, he's a hopeless romantic.
Fuck Dougie, because I bet he'd be fun. Lord know he'd have a sense of humor.


I don't know who is Peter Soyer Beagle (and I definitely didn't read "The Last Unicorn" :twilightsheepish:) but I really respect the other two authors.

P.S.: Terry Pratchett.

How do you stay motivated?

I’ve worked corrections. I’ve seen literal rivers of shit (backed up septic system), arterial blood sprays (pencils make remarkably effective surgical tools, apparently), people trying to drown themselves in their own toilets...
So... I have some idea.


I have a lot of trouble with this, tbh. Usually, it's a sneaky sense of self hatred or spite that obligates me to do things.

How do you turn that self-hatred into a useful thing?

It's a matter of feeling like if I don't do the thing, I'm the worst person ever. That tends to be the motivation.

You're not the worst person ever. Better than me, anyhow.

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