Drake Reviews from EFN · 11:42pm May 18th, 2018

Haven't done one of these in too long but I feel I should do something at EFN on the Fimfiction front, and I need to keep occupied between events, so I’m gonna knock out some reviews! Come back tomorrow for more, if I can manage it.

Pink, Fuzzy Alicorns Dancing on Hobos by Star Destroyer

Would you like a side of social commentary with your pun-based title? I remember putting this on the back burner of the Read Later list (which is overcooked by several years) for the title. And it delivers what it promises - Cadance loves dancing on hobos. The fic then takes a turn into satire with Rarity and Applejack seeing the act as a microcosm of social inequality and elitism. Which Applejack is really, really bad at arguing her side of, though Rarity is only marginally better.

If you're worried about anvilicious author tract here, you can relax, it's all in fun. Applejack is far too stupid and ineffectual to command respect for her view, and Rarity and Cadance are far too outrageously apathetic and amoral to get sympathy for theirs. We're just watching silly ponies be silly about social science. Unless of course that is the commentary, that the lower class are too incompetent and passive to better themselves, and the elite are too detached from normal logic to see the morality problems with what they do. It probably is intentional, and if so the fic is all the funnier for it.

Recommendation: An absurd and outrageous waste of time, much like the subject it examines.

Buckball Abstract by Pineta

This takes place before the actual episode. RD and AJ have asked Twilight and Starlight to help them beat Appleloosa, and they interpreted that request by abstracting buckball down to sets of statistics and data and calculations, and using their results to give game advice to the two that they totally don't understand. The episode ends with a stinger on what happens in the actual episode.

Overall this is cute, nothing laugh-out-loud hilarious but it did get several snickers.

Recommendation: Starlight and Twilight would make terrible buckball players. But they'd probably be good coaches or play designers.

Never Forget Me by Rated Ponystar

I don't often read sad stories. I like happy stories. I don't like to feel sad. Besides that, I often find that stories that have the purposeful intent of being sad to be a bit emotionally manipulative, like they're trying too hard to evoke an emotional response from readers.

This fic mostly avoids that trap. The tragedy, the emotions, come not from the fact that Trixie is dead, but that she's dead and Twilight is not entirely sure how to react to that knowledge, or that Trixie requested Twilight attend her funeral. The build up to Twilight arriving at the funeral is a bit slow but is good to build up the mystery and uncertainty of what will happen. At said funeral, that's when the emotions hit as you begin to realize why Trixie asked this of Twilight and what it means for the both of them.

My complaint would be in one detail - the item Trixie leaves for Twilight. That is where the emotional manipulation I was expected came, because the item is a letter spelling out the tragedy of Trixie when previously all that the letter infodumps to us was already presented by subtext. We were shown why Trixie wanted Twilight to attend her funeral, which worked well. Then we were told the same information, which did not work. But that aside the ending is good and I like the message.

Recommendation: A decent, sad little piece.

Starlight Glimmer Does Not Want to Make Friends With Trixie! by Ceffyl Dwr

I appreciate that this fic notes it predates No Second Prance.

This is simply glorious. We open on hilarity, then segue into hilarity, then segue into what-may-be-social-satire-about-the-internet-but-maybe-not hilarity. Then segue into what-is-definitely-satire-about-the-fandom hilarity.

Starlight snark is in top form, Trixie is fun but not in the fic nearly as much as she should be, Twilight is fun, the satire of the internet, fanfiction, and redemption arcs is fun. What's not to love?

Recommendation: Needs lots more Trixie but is still fun without her.

Twilight Goes on a Date by GaraTheAuthor

So you know how some authors struggle with shipping Twilight with Sunset, Trixie, or Starlight? In-universe Twilight has the same problem, and comes to the same obvious solution you just did.

This fic boils down to just shipping fuel between Twilight and the three mares, nothing more or less. JUST the three mares and Twilight, nothing between the three of them with each other. Beyond that there isn't much here, the personalities of the three fall a bit flat, and you don't get a sense of WHY Twilight loves them, what about each of these three romantic relationships offers Twilight something emotionally or physically. So even as shipping fuel this fic doesn't offer a lot, because it doesn't actually have anything interesting or meaningful to say about the ships it features. Does Trixie feel inadequate next to Starlight and Sunset? I don't know. Is there drama over Sunset's romance being a long-distance one? Only because Trixie creates drama.

Speaking of, their fight near the end of the fic comes out of left field and feels forced, when the rest of the fic made it obvious that the three all know Twilight is in a romantic relationship with all of them and it's heavily implied that, expect for the specific instance of Trixie not liking Sunset, none of them have any problem with this. The resolution to the fight likewise is very quick and forced.

The story does have one great joke from Trixie though, mostly for the fact the fic predates Season 7, so unless this line was inserted later, it's amazingly prophetic.

Recommendation: This fic is cotton candy - tasty and light and has nothing to offer you but a fleeting sensation of sweetness.

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