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  • 1 week
    SA Reviews #130

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “It wasn’t until this moment that Intern realized just how large the Seattle’s Angels compound was. Entire days could be lost trying to familiarize oneself with just a single wing, let alone the months it would take to explore the whole building. But as Celestia as his witness, he was determined to do it or so help him!”

    “Intern, you’re monologuing again,” said a voice from above. “And you’re doing it in third person.”

    Snapping his mouth shut, Intern looked up to see Red perched on top of a protruding branch from the wall. He nibbled on a nut as he regarded the befuddled temp-reviewer. “Is this what you’ve been doing all month? Getting lost and talking to yourself?”

    “No,” Intern said, arms folded across his chest. “I’ve been very productive this entire time.”

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    6 comments · 1,096 views
  • 2 weeks
    SA Reviews #129

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo flipped through his Reviews folder one last time before making it up the stairs toward Ferret’s room. Yep, all there! He threw on a jaunty smile and strode up to her door… which was locked?

    A little red note taped to the door read in commanding read marker: OUT TO LUNCH. SLIP YOUR REVIEWS UNDER THE DOOR.

    Huh. Normally Ferret left the door open on Review Day so she could see their bright, sunshiny faces when they walked in. Whatever.

    Corejo shrugged and did as the sign said. And then he drummed his hands on his thighs. And then he looked around.

    Huh. Where were the shenanigans? There were supposed to be some wacky shenanigans that magically happened right about now at the worst possible time and inconvenienced him, because comedic coincidence dictated so.

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    5 comments · 1,508 views
  • 5 weeks
    SA Reviews #128

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “So, Cyne?” asked Matthew, “whatcha up to?”

    “Oh, you know, just getting some reviews in,” she replied.

    “But… there’s no school anymore. And no school means no reviews! We’re free!” he shouted, literally leaping for joy.

    Cynewulf slammed a stack of papers onto the table in front of her. “Ha! Shows what you know. Summer school is now in session.”

    “NNOOoooOOooOOOooooo…”

    ROUND 128

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    9 comments · 2,036 views
  • 7 weeks
    SA Reviews #127

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Listen up, class! Today I will teach you all that is necessary to build a fanbase.” PaulAsaran spun on his heel and began to write on a chalkboard. “Take good notes. A five page essay and three mock-up reviews will be due next week.”

    A series of groans filled the classroom.

    Intern, wearing his now customary janitor uniform, stopped by PaulAsaran on his way to dump out a trash bin. In a low whisper, he said, “That’s more than we do in two weeks.”

    “Hush, you,” PaulAsaran replied. “I’m in my element.”

    “What do you mean by that?”

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    5 comments · 1,863 views
  • 9 weeks
    SA Reviews #126

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    A loud thump announced the arrival of Novel Idea into the dreaded dungeons of the Seattle’s Angel’s complex. To his surprise, the place had been completely redecorated. To his horror, he instantly recognized the new motif.

    Detention?!” he cried. “I’ve never been in detention in my life!”

    He turned to glare at the slide he’d been just dropped down. Corejo stood above, looking imperious—or at least trying to, it was Corejo after all.

    “You can’t do this to me! I’ll do my freaky time magic thing again!”

    “School’s in session. All of it.” Corejo winked—he actually winked—and pulled a level straight out of the Acme Budget Villain Catalogue. The portal closed with a resounding snap.

    He grumbled to himself and stomped over to the desk with his name on it and plopped down.

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    3 comments · 2,047 views
  • 10 weeks
    SA Reviews #125

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo, as a Seattle’s Angel, had experienced many weird things during his tenure as a reviewer. Multiple base explosions, the fabric of spacetime ripping apart with seeming regularity, and the slightly disturbing obsession Red had for nuts.

    Even with all that, today was already vying for his top five list in terms of stuff he didn’t expect to be a part of when he woke up that morning.

    “Okay class!” Ferret announced from her position on top of a teacher’s desk. Before her, a room full of kids and a few adults sat at wooden desk, pencils and papers at the ready. “Today beings the first day of the School of Reviewers!”

    Corejo raised his hand.

    “Oh, and I see we already have a question. What is it?”

    “Yeah, uh, what is even the heck? Why do we have a reviewer school?”

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    15 comments · 1,916 views
  • 13 weeks
    SA Reviews #124

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Look,” said Red, “I really think you’re going about this the wrong way.”

    “Oh really?” said Matthew419. “How would you suggest otherwise?”

    “Don’t dangle me by my tail off the edge of a fifty-story building?”

    A spotlight peered up at them. “This is Intern!” Intern shouted up through a megaphone. “We’ve got the building surrounded! Drop the squirrel and--”

    The megaphone squealed loudly, and there were sounds of a scuffle before another voice shouted at them once again. “No no no, don’t drop the squirrel!” said someone who Red thought might be Ebon Quill. “I mean, do, but first, just step away from the ledge and we’ll talk!”

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    12 comments · 2,683 views
  • 17 weeks
    SA Reviews #122

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Paul paced about the thing laughably referred to as his office. He could get about four steps down before having to make a turn, and that’s assuming his line of motion was just right. He glanced at his clock, grumbled some phrase unfit for the world wide web, and continued his pacing.

    “Hey, Paul!” The door swung open. Since this was the smallest office in the history of offices, that resulted in the door smacking Paul in the face. With a hand over his bleeding nose, he turned his glare upon the visitor, one Novel-Idea.

    “You were supposed to be here hours ago.” Except it came out something like “Ou er spsed here hrgo” due to the current state of his nose.

    Novel shrugged. “Blame T.O.M. We gonna do those reviews or what?”

    Paul stared incredulously. “Ou evn’t dn urrs?”

    “Not yet, nope.”

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    6 comments · 3,003 views
  • 20 weeks
    SA Reviews #121

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The room was lit by faint orange candlelight, barely enough to see by, but the sole occupant didn’t mind. In fact, he prefered the dim glow as it added to the mystique and allure of his persona. Words and phrases came to him more easily in this atmosphere, not to mention that it had a soothing effect on his mind. Everything in place, Ebon Quill raised the quill that was his namesake and dipped it into an inkwell. He held the quill to a piece of parchment, hands poised to write the first word.

    The door to his room burst open and a bright light flicked on.

    “Ack!” Ebon Quill’s first word became a jagged line across the paper. Fuming, he scrunched up the ruined parchment into a wad and tossed it into a nearby waste bin.

    “Jeez, man, how do you even see?” Intern asked as he crossed the room where Ebon Quill sat.

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    8 comments · 2,956 views
  • 22 weeks
    SA Reviews #120

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “So, uh, Paul?”

    “Yeah, Matthew?”

    “Why are you in my office?” Matthew shook his head. “Better yet, why are you hanging from the ceiling in my office?”

    “Oh, you know,” Paul started, “I don’t have anyone else to hang out with.”

    Matthew raised his right eyebrow. “Really?” he asked. “Puns?”

    “Not quite. There’s a method to my acting.”

    “Oh? Care to share?” Matthew asked.

    “Eh, not really,” Paul replied. “I’m putting these in at the perfect times. It’s all in the setupl, ya know?”

    “W-what?”

    “I was also sent by Ferret to wait for you to finish coming home. We got reviews to do.”

    Matthew sighed “Ugh, fine. What d’ya got?”

    ROUND 120

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    6 comments · 4,032 views
Feb
25th
2018

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #123 · 5:36pm February 25th

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


The pillars rose up around him, towering over Corejo like judgmental parents. On top of the pillars stood the Pillars, looking down on him like disappointed parents.

“This council of Equestria’s first league of extraordinary gentlecolts—”

“And three gentlemares!”

Starswirl rolled his eyes. “Yes, quite.” Clearing his throat, Starswirl continued, “find you, Corejo, guilty. Stygian, read him his sentence.”

Stygian, who wasn’t standing on any of the pillars, unfurled a scroll and began reading. Corejo could have sworn his voice sounded familiar. “You are hereby sentenced to review on a tight deadline. You will have to forsake the niceties the Seattle’s Angels grant their employees in order to make your due date.”

“How’s that any different than what normally happens around here…” Corejo muttered under his breath.

He didn’t mutter quietly enough. “Silence!” Starswirl bellowed. “You will leave immediately and report back once you have finished and not one second sooner!”

“Yes, of course, I’m already on it.” Sighing against the overblown theatrics of it all (seriously, he was beginning to miss Ferret’s usual antics), Corejo left the cavernous room to get to work.

ROUND 123


A tiny filly stands on an open plain. Somewhere in the distance a fleeting glimpse of white leads her on, her heart yearning towards it. A dark power wearing her face attempts to stop her. And as she dreams, and wakes, and seeks, she finds that nothing is quite what it seems...


A more somber story for you all in this pick. But don't let that dissuade you!

Here we have a Luna story, written awhile back for a Luna group contest.  Coincidentally, it won, and it’s clear why once you give this a read.

Over a Cardboard Sea begins with a filly Luna looking up at the night sky.  But something’s wrong.  Something’s missing.  She sets out in search of this missing something, but it proves more elusive than she first realized.  But there’s a creature, a shadow, dogging her every step.

What appealed to me in Cardboard Sea wasn’t so much the line-by-line writing, but the unfolding of events and how each bit of information is slowly fed to the reader, how Luna becomes more aware of her situation with every scene building toward the climax.  And the climax itself is so pitch perfect to the story.

Don't pass this up.

Going a bit oldschool here, what with this being a Luna/Nightmare Moon story. However, while this may be tried and true ground, it’s the imagery that sets this one apart. Not surprising, since this takes place through a series of dreams.

One of the more frightening things I can imagine is not knowing who I am. That theme is used throughout the story as Luna slowly pieces together the fragments that make her who she is. Nightmare Moon certainly doesn’t help as she dodges Luna at every turn, forcing Luna to confront things that she doesn’t want to admit to herself.

The final piece for Luna to claim shouldn’t come as much of a surprise if you’re following along with the imagery angle. I found it sweet, even if the ending leaves some room for interpretation. It’s worth checking out, so do so!


Rarity Teaches Rainbow Dash Prench.


God, I love me some good, old-fashioned college humor.

There’s no short supply of that in here.  From the get-go, we get a laugh-inducing story about Rainbow Dash trying to sneak into the library to finish a French essay she botched (a perfect joke of its own accord), only to be caught by Rarity, who happens to know French.  Because why wouldn’t she, being the young entrepreneur she is?

Every bit of this story is either a joke or a lead-in for the next, executed nigh flawlessly thanks to Scotters’ characterization of Rarity and Rainbow Dash.  The way the two play off each other is a work of art in and of itself.  I was getting funny looks from my co-worker while reading this because I couldn’t keep the grin off my face, and I kept laughing like an idiot every other second.

It’s short, punchy, and doesn’t hold back on the humor.  That is, if it’s your kind of humor.  The sex and profanity tags are warranted, but are squarely the point of this fic.

If crude humor dissuades you, then first off, shame on you.  But yeah, second off, keep clear of this one.  If you’re a fan of sex jokes and witty banter, you must read this.  It will surely make your day.

You may be leary of the Sex and Profanity tags attached to this one, but nothing explicit is ever done. Everything written here is done for comedy, particularly the ending. The language never goes beyond some semi-lewd remarks.

If you can get beyond that, and with Rarity being a touch flirty, then I think you’ll get a good chuckle out of this. Rainbow Dash comes off as her usual macho self that just makes her more adorable and Rarity is in top form with her insistence on helping Rainbow Dash write a paper.

With so little interaction between Rarity and Rainbow Dash in the Equestria Girls setting, this helps fill that void. So go read how the girly-girl helps out the overcompensating jock with a bit of wordplay thrown in for good measure.


Princess Celestia has inspired many writers, artists and poets over her centuries as both ruler and Princess of the Sun. Now she invites one pony to do a special task for her.

A tale of poetry, pornography, puns, printing presses and pretty pony princesses.


A fanfic about Princess Celestia's private porn stash? It's more true than you think!

And also not so much. What we have here is a fresh spin on a few old tropes, that of Celestia's immortality, and another that would be a spoiler to say here. Needless to say, this was an excellent integration of both.

This story is viewed through the eyes of a pegasus named Tercet (let that name sink in), whom Celestia commissions to restore the precious tomes and parchments in her private library. No easy feat! Nor is the weight of its significance lost on Tercet as the mystery as to why Celestia wants these manuscripts completed and in such a short amount of time.

The feels are solid throughout, and the edge of mystery keeps the carrot dangling exactly where it needs to be. A definite frontrunner for Stories I've Read Recently.

We had a story earlier about Luna and her fall, a pervy story involving Rarity and Rainbow Dash, and now a combination of the two with Celestia. See? It’s poetry, it rhymes!

So yeah, this is my surprise standout for this round. It starts off low key, with Celestia making a request from a publisher named Tercet to catalogue some private content inspired by the Sun Princess herself from all the ponies she’s met throughout her reign. Some of it is… risque, and Celestia gets some major best pony points by being her trollish self.

Then we start to learn exactly when this story is taking place and the whole reason behind this cataloging becomes clear. I was moved by it and its implications on Celestia's character. Some really good insight on just what she’s been through and what’s she’s sacrificed to get where she is today.

Definitely a worthy read. We’re going the extra mile this round to bring out the feelings!


It's been a dozen centuries since Discord's cousin Hades sold his former realm of Tartarus to Celestia and Luna, and now he's decided to get back into the game with another realm, a lighter, fluffier realm of daydreams that he calls Mythos. Visiting Rainbow Dash on Nightmare Night to recruit her as a professional daydreamer, Hades sets eyes on Fluttershy, and, well, a myth's gotta do what a myth's gotta do...


Gotta give zany Discord shenanigans some love every once in a while, right?

So Discord's cousin Hades pays Rainbow Dash a visit, touting her as the poster filly of daydreaming, and he wants to cut her a deal in a little project he calls Mythos—the land of daydreams. At first it seems like the opportunity of a lifetime. But things quickly stop adding up, and Rainbow Dash finds herself on the bad end of a hoofshake.

Restating my leading note, what really sells this fic is Discord being Discord. Augie Dog knows his quirks and general aloofness, and it shines as well as bright as the master of tricks and tomfoolery would want.

To be fair, Discord’s a natural foil to everybody, so he gels pretty flawlessly with any character he's paired with (or against, depending on how you want to look at it). But that doesn't lessen the natural feel of his and Dashie’s banter.

To that end, there's plenty of clever Discord phrases, like “Claws clutching the coconut, Discord swallowed, a clattering sound rattling down his neck like pebbles through a rainspout.” Rainbow Dash gets a handful of her own, a little favorite of mine being “Whatever worry Dash had been feeling about Hades kidnapping Fluttershy—and she hadn't been feeling all that worried, she told herself quickly—but that one little bit of it that had been congealing in Dash's gut like a lump of flight camp oatmeal, it was now dissolving quicker than dew on a summer morning,” From the same scene, and so many more besides.

It's the longest fic in this round, clocking in at about 18k words, but it's definitely one to toss on your to-read pile.

This story has a little bit of everything: adventure, drama, some romance, and a dash (meh) of chaos. It was quite the experience and left a satisfied feeling in my gut. Like eating some good pumpkin pie sorta feeling.

Whatever, this was pretty fun to get through. The jumble of genres flows smoothly from setup to world setting disaster with Rainbow Dash in the middle trying to fix things. Speaking of Dash, Rainbow proves herself to be clever when she needs to be, and she definitely needs to be in this situation. Fans of hers will get their pie and eat it too! And considering how much Rainbow Dash doesn’t like pie, just imagine how good it is to eat h—

Okay, I’m stopping this train of thought. Just give this a go and you’ll find plenty to enjoy.


Corejo dropped his reviews down on a raised podium set in the middle of the room. “There. Done, and on time.”

Starswirl narrowed his eyes. “Stygian, if you would.”

Stygian trotted up towards the podium and levitated up the pieces of paper. Just as he turned to take them away, Corejo stuck out a foot. The scrawny colt yelped and tripped, falling face first into the floor. His head popped off, skidding across the polished tile. Corejo ignored it, instead focusing on the head that was sticking out of Stygian’s stump of a neck. “I knew it was you.”

“Ignore the man behind the pony!” came Starswirl’s frantic roar.

“Shaddap.” With a press of a switch on his cuff, the pillars and the Pillars winked out of existence, leaving the room bereft of equines. “I could have stopped this earlier, but I wanted to see how far you would take it.”

Intern climbed out of the Stygian costume and crossed his arms with a huff. “Yeah, so? Is it wrong that I just wanted to have a little fun? Gotta do something during this hiatus.”

“True. But all that time setting this up means you’ll have less time to get your reviews in.” Corejo pressed his cuff button again, the Pillars appearing around Intern.

“Am I right?!” Starswirl boomed in Corejo’s voice.

Intern “eeped”.


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 3,457 views ·
Comments ( 13 )

Over a Carboard Sea is great! Nice to see it getting some love! :O

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Aw yeah, Over a Cardboard Sea! :D

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. My personal favorite of my stories.

Also, I think I need to read Princess Celestia's Private Library. It sounds right up my alley.

How do I stop getting notified by these?

4805208
Just type "unsubscribe."

Cardboard Sea is very worthy and I look forward to reading the rest!

4805208
At the top of your Feed, there's an "Options" button. Click it, and turn off "Social Site Posts".

Wanderer D
Moderator

4805208 Pretty much what 4805219 Horizon said, just bear in mind that Site-announcements related to site updates, backups and such will still appear on your feed, although those happen with a lot less frequency. Just a clarification.

4805219

4805247
Okay, thank you. Not that I have any dissenting opinion of these posts, it's just that they're not my thing.

Hap

You guys always padding my RiL.

I half come here for the stories, half come for the dumb shit Intern/squirrel/whoever get into.

Mostly the squirrel.

4805613
And that rare 10% come here to find out what the heck the other Angel’s are getting up to...

4805749
Apparently, rebuilding their office.

Thanks, folks!

Alas, last year's "Jinglemas" collection has been taken down, but River Road--I think it was--wrote a gift story for me inspired by this one in which Discord's cousin Krampus comes to visit Ponyville for Hearth's Warming Eve. So I think we need to hear from all of Discord's extended family...

Mike

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