Does this make sense? · 5:32am Nov 9th, 2017
Hey all,
Mini-tiny-baby spoiler warning.
So I wanted to let you all read a scene between Applejack and Dexter, both of which are talking. I just wanted to make sure the reader could track what Dexter was trying to explain to Applejack. Specifically, concerning her question to whether or not he is an alien after she discovers his lab.
See below, and please comment. Oh, trying to get an update out by the end of this week. Estimated 20K+ words. Sorry.
[EDIT]
Sorry All, I just realized I miss communicated. I didn't mean by the end of this week as much as I meant 1 week from that day. And my proof readers reminded me that doesn't include THEIR time to proof-read and for me to make corrections. So, a little less than a week for the proof readers, a little more than a week for all of you.
Apologies.
“But look’n around, Dex.” Applejack began, her eyes drifting across the myriad of devices which composed Dexter's lab. It didn’t take much to surmise that the technology Dexter had at his disposal was far beyond anything Applejack had ever seen. “With a lab like this an’ all the stuff you can do. Why are you here?”
“You mean, why do I have an underground lab?” Dexter asked, raising an eyebrow before answering. “I maintain this facility in order to conduct scientific research in both a safe and controlled environ-“
“No no,” Applejack shook her head. “That’s not what Ah mean. What Ah mean is, why are ya living with us at the farm?” Applejack motioned upward. “Ah mean, I believe ya when ya said yer trying to find a way home. But seeing how ya can build a lab like this, an’ all the stuff you can do, I don’t know why ya haven’t gone home.”
“Ah can’t imagine why ya couldn’t get home. I wouldn’t think there is any place in the world ya can’t get to…” Applejack finished slowly. Her gaze linger on the colt as she descended into thought.
“You’re correct,” Dexter admitted. “My issue with returning home is not getting there, but rather locating it.” Dexter explained. “I do not know where my home is in relation to our present location. If I did, I would have returned home a long time ago.”
“Dex…” Applejack began. “Is your home… on another world?”
Dexter sighed, looking away from Applejack for a moment. He took few steps away from the farm pony as he pondered how he would answer her question. “To be honest, Applejack, I’m not sure. Perhaps the best answer would be ‘yes and no.’ It’s… complicated.”
“Yes and no?” Applejack raised an eyebrow. Of course, now that she knew truly how smart Dexter was, finding out what he didn’t know was more of a surprise than what he did.
“Correct,” Dexter went on. “I wish I could say I am from another world.” Dexter scoffed. “Heck, being an alien would make it easier to justify lying to and manipulating all of you. But in truth, I cannot say that I am an extraterrestrial,” Dexter explained. “The similarities between Equestria and my home are far too extensive for me to discount the possibility that Equestria is somehow… my world? The two are definitely related… connected somehow.”
“I, uh, don’t understand.” Applejack scratched her head with a hoof.
“Let me see if I can’t explain better.” Dexter continued. “Both my home and Equestria have too much in common to be considered separate. For example, both have trees. Both have grass, both have squirrels, lion, tigers, bears…” Dexter turned toward Applejack. “Both have ponies… Heck, the language spoken in Equestria and my hometown are nearly identical.”
“So, that’s why you say things like ‘everyone’ instead of ‘everypony.’” Applejack replied.
“Noticed that, didn’t you?” Dexter nodded. “Almost everyone seemed to attribute it to a dialectic difference and ignore it.”
“So… what yer saying is,” Applejack began, processing what Dexter had said. “If you were really from another world, you’d have a different language?”
“Precisely, though it’s more than that.” Dexter nodded. “I’ve been to an alien world before. I’ve seen alien life on more than one occasion…” Dexter admitted, remembering the time Dee Dee had teleported him to an alien world because she couldn’t keep herself from pushing a button on his teleporter. Now that he thought about it, that whole situation was remarkably similar to what sent him to Equestria. However, his words got Applejack’s eyebrow’s to rise. “Alien life is truly foreign.”
“The probability that my home and Equestria are truly alien from one another, and that the similarities between them are merely happenstance, is so astronomically small that it is beyond computation.” Dexter stated. “So, what conclusion can I draw? I cannot say Equestria is my home, but I cannot say I am alien to it either. It’s still a mystery to me, one I am trying to solve.”
“Well, how did ya get here?” Applejack asked.
“That is also complicated…” Dexter shook his head tiredly. “I was transported to Equestria, where your brother found me, by an artificial trans-frame space-time vortex which may have punctured the universes…” Dexter trailed off when he noticed the look of confusion on Applejack’s face. With a sigh, Dexter began again. “In a more simplistic, yet imprecise, vernacular; I was sucked into a wormhole which could transport me anywhere in the universe or to another reality entirely.”
“A wormhole?” Applejack asked, having never heard the term before.
“It would take a while to explain,” Dexter said, giving up. “Suffice it to say, I was working in my other lab… the one I had underneath my parent’s house, when one of my experiments went wrong. And shortly after that, I woke up in the Ponyville clinic.”
“I see…” Applejack said slowly. “So, is everypony where yer from just as smart as you?”
“No, but I did have peers which rivaled my intelligence.” Dexter replied, his idol Einstein and his rival Mandark coming to mind. “Though, I find myself lacking such peers here.” Dexter grumbled. “Now, all of this is part of my Secret, Applejack. You’re not to reveal anything I have told you here.”
Ok, not reading scene for fear of spoilers, so sorry for that. Just saying it's good to have you back.
Seemed pretty easy to follow to me. also now I'm pumped to see this chapter in it's entirety.
(Checks feed)
(Sees RenegadeAlias posted something)
media.giphy.com/media/11BbGyhVmk4iLS/giphy.gif
Basically, he's trying to say that -while he can't be certain of it- he suspects that he's from a parallel/alternate version of equestria, rather than another planet.
Yes
I understood it perfectly, despite of the fact that I read it while staying up very late after an exhausting day. Because ponies drive me to read of course.
I can follow it fine so Go for it.
It’s completely understandable
Ehh... not super into this particular bit of lamp shading. People already know about this, so redoing the exposition about it again is pretty redundant.
makes sense, could be a little longer for a bit of suspense.
I hate spoilers so unless you reallly need help, I refuse to read.
I can understand it clearly, your good to go!
Makes perfect sense to me. =)
Also, though it may be hard to predict, how 'burnt out' do you suspect you'll be upon the coming chapters completion?
Well I have no problem following it to me it seems like Dexter is using complicated phrasings, but with his present company (Applejack) it just seems like we're that present company and he dumbs it down a little bit so is easier for that person er pony or us to understand. After reading just a few sentences I was getting drawn into it even more, so all I can say is yeah keep what you have it's good to have you back and I can't wait for the chapter to come out, now that I think about it it seems like every year you just release a chapter a long one at that lol
This is an absolutely succinct explaination on Dexter's part. I had zero trouble following; in fact, this is perfectly logical.
I’ve actually come up with a term for what he's describing It’s called dimensional bleed. you see as we have thoughts the tiny electric synapses in our brains cause a signal that isn’t bound by traditional universal boundaries allowing them to pass through dimensions like gravitons. When more than one person in the same dimension both relay and receive the signal it creates the phenomenon known as the “collective unconscious” which causes some people to have the same idea at the same time for example the two “Dennes the Mennes” comicstrips both UK and US. Both of which were released about the same time and with reportedly no knowledge of each other.
Though in some cases where worlds are extremely closely linked it can cause some people to be near perfect reflections of who ever they're linked to thus explaining “alternate earth” versions of people. But when either a traumatic experience or just extenuating circumstances changes the personality of one of the people the link is damaged making the signals harder to read and affect each other. Causing whoever was had the broken link to change dramatically without the other being affected and allowing for an “evil” version to exist without a domino effect starting and effectively destroying the multiverse through what is effectively an ever spreading plague of hatred.
You know, I don't know if you ever said, but is Equestria Girls canon to this story? If it is, then even if its events haven't happened yet Celestia will be rather familiar with the idea of an Alternate Universe full of humans...
-inb4 Equestria Girls triggers-
Well, that was a bit nice to see, I'm also guessing it will be a while before the chapter this is an excerpt from goes up. That all said, what's a ballpark estimate of when the next chapter goes up? It's been a while since the story last updated.
I think it's fine and works, but would like to have seen a different spin on it since this is Applejack we're talking about. What does AJ really care about? She cares about his wellbeing and that he's a good pony that won't cause any harm to himself or others, so him being an alien could be a minor factor for her. She already knows that she won't understand the tech babble, so why make the effort? It won't matter to what is ultimately important to AJ.
Their little back and forth dialogue sometimes feels like it's talking too much for the audience's benefit. From how I perceive AJ she would make him put all the cards on the table and be silent/very brief until she's made up her mind about the situation. She wants to help him, but can't since he won't give them any control of his life. I also doubt she would promise to keep this a secret to her friends, since she knows they (and Celestia) are good ponies. (I assume Dexter will convince her that helping can be harmful.)
I think AJ, being a down to earth work-pony who likes to build stuff, would be more impressed with how he managed to build all these things, and not the fact that they're high-tech gadgets. So that's something she'd likely ask about and not just be amazed by.
Nice to hear from you again! The text was pretty easy to read in my opinion.
Wth are you sorry for? We are getting a nice and chunky update. Yay!
I only saw one thing that irked me and that was more grammatical than anything.
As for explanations, Dex could have explained a wormhole to Applejack in a more simplistic fashion. I’m guessing you’re writing it like he was annoyed with having to “dumb” down his answers or havinging to repeat himself. That may be something you may want to convey.
Other than that, everything looked fine.
Happy to hear about an update. It does make sense.
4721219
Hmm, thinking about it, I have to second this. So maybe a few scenes where AJ is a bit more... animated in this specific direction.
She does know about magic mirrors and such so she's not totally clueless about the 'many worlds' hypothesis.....
4721273
Yea, AJ's reaction to this is bit underwhelming.
Despite all the people claiming that Dexter's speech is just for the audience's benefit, I'm fine with it. It'll be good to know precisely how much information that Dexter shares with Applejack. For instance, I notice that he does not seem to imply anywhere that he is not originally a pony, and, when mentioning his home also has ponies, he doesn't specify that they are non-sapient. This could be something already covered earlier in the chapter, or it could be something he has yet to reveal. Note that Applejack says:
Could be nothing, could be something.
It's good to see you give a precise explanation.
Yes! Thank you, THANK YOU for continuing my favourite story on here! <3
2 days ago I was wondering when you would be posting the next chapter....needless to say, you just made my day! Thank you.
HE LIVES??
Also ye ^^
You are alive!! This is great news.
So, this is a great interaction, even if I think AJ should ask more about the mistake he made as she should be worried that something like this could endanger her home and family.
Maybe a little comment from her how he was able to build this without anyone noticing and all.
But over all this sounds great.
Also good to see you back ^^
1. Finally update! Worth the wait!
2. Alien does not mean completely foreign. While we have no real life examples (that are verified) of human/alien interaction and/or comparison, the fact that only earth was capable of producing intelligent life in our own solar system, could imply that other possible lifeforms might evolve/develop in a manner similar to our own. Of course we are assuming that life would develop in a way we might understand. Our own understanding of life is severely limited, we have literally only one single planet in an enormous galaxy which is only a blip in the infinite cosmos.
The fact that the ponies are mammals, it is easier for Dexter to identify with them, not to mention that his biology changed to accommodate him when he arrived so he isn't obviously seen as an 'other'. The 'magic' of Equestria automatically equates Dexter a human as a pony, so changed accordingly so he would be able to survive his new environment. So in conclusion, Dexter's thoughts on the subject make sense.
That's my two cents.
If you don't believe in god, then this will make you because the death is rising once again.
I think the chapter makes sense. A little disappointed Applejack doesn't accuse Dexter of kidnapping her fellow farmers and probing them though.
Oi, long time, no see!
Also, I think that that made as much sense as it could in this sort of simplification. But I'm not good with that sort of brainy stuff, so I dunno for sure. Makes a relative amount of sense to me, and I guess, within the context of this universe.
Apple Jack said she believes that Dexter is trying to get home, but in the next breath asks why he hasn’t gone home. This doesn’t make sense to me.
It might make sense if she was asking why he was staying with her and her family when he could have the lab meet all his needs and live under the forest, or in a space station, or on top of a mountain somewhere else in Equestria etc.
On another note: Hooray!!!!!!!!! I can hardly wait for this update
"Oh, trying to get an update out by the end of this week. Estimated 20K+ words. Sorry."
Why the sorry? An update is a good thing, and 20k is a sizable chapter. Your writing is generally good enough to be worth the long waits. Looking forward to the new chapter!
4721219
Does she?
IIRC, the last published chapter involved Dexter returning from the past, where Nightmare Moon gave ponies nightmares and killing any with sun-loving faces, came very close to killing Dexter, possibly scarring him mentally for life...
And when Luna interviewed him he unleashed a scathing refutation of Luna, telling her she absolutely should never be a mother, and Applejack standing there slackjawed asking "How could you say something so heartless?"
So while this excerpt makes sense subjectwise on it's own, it doesn't make sense timing wise on it's own.
I think my eyes orgasmed at the sight of this..
I think it is perfectly understandable for most people
So which route won the poll?
4721885
Like I said the current dialogue is fine, and I doubt anyone would have given it a second thought if RenegadeAlias hadn't asked our opinion of it. I merely pointed out that having her questions be more relatable to AJ would be a nice touch. The fact he's such a troubled foal would only make her want to help him more.
Though, there is one more elephant in the room that needs to be addressed.
So we know now the lab is more advanced than a plow. (I'm sorry that was too easy.)
It's fine and now I'm really looking forward to reading more.
I've been waiting so long for this chapter and now that I have this teaser I think I'm going to explode before the full chapter gets here
4722039
I suppose this excerpt is in the later half of the chapter, given that Applejack isn't nearly as antagonistic as she should be, given what just happened previously.
Well I can say this gives hope for some kind of resolution, a satisfying one at that, now it's just a matter of waiting for the next chapter to see where the other hoof drops.
4721208
Would it have been funny that, had Dee Dee not have interfered, the transporter would've brought him to the EQG-verse. It's just that with her dash of chaos, it "overshot" and punched through the portion of reality weakened by the mirror portal and ended up outside Ponyville.
So it would make sense why there's "Earth-like" similarities that are twisted and made punny to horse themes. Though it does bring to question why he ponified upon entry but we could just settle with Harmony doing time shenanigans for the sake of causality once they became aware of his presence on their timeline.
They both seem in character to me! However, I think Dexter's claim of "two different worlds being so similar is ludicrously unlikely" is a sign of flawed logic. Flawed logic that neither would likely notice as such, but flawed nonetheless.
No problem. The chapter are worth the wait.
Personally i wish Dexter had these guys:
behindthevoiceactors.com/_img/chars/robot-1-dexters-laboratory-ego-trip-95.2.jpg
2.bp.blogspot.com/-bIMx3K0DqHc/Vpmz-xV0_WI/AAAAAAAAAEs/1g82GCqJMXE/s1600/received_804710089674623.jpeg
4723641
Flawed logic? Explain.