How Greg Gianforte can still win his special election in a landslide. · 1:27pm May 25th, 2017
"Good morning. Thank you for coming to my special press conference. I appreciate your giving me the chance to explain myself and my actions to the public via livestream just before the live vote is held.
Now, I know all of you have heard the stories about my actions yesterday. You've heard the testimony from the Guardian's reporter and the rather surprising corroboration from those of FOX News who witnessed the confrontation. And you've also read the original statement released by my staff. I would like to take this opportunity to retract that statement. I did, in fact, assault the reporter, of my own free will. I took the actions which were described by the press. And to that end, I would like to say that I acted improperly. I did not take the right action.
You see, I believe in the First Amendment. I believe in the freedom to practice Christianity, convert others to it, and burn down the worship houses of everyone else. That is what the First is about. The right to speak Christian words, which naturally includes such things as 'I'm going to cut you, Jew-boy,' and 'Enjoy your eternal damnation, towel-head,' just before you righteously remove those corrupt liberal influences from my country. I believe that everything reported by the corrupt liberal media must be denied at all times, and that said media must be brought under the control of the state, only publishing what the government allows. For only when the First is controlled will white male conservative Christians such as myself be free to speak.
I believe that there is a natural order in the world. White men were naturally made by God in His own image, and so we are the only ones fit to rule. All others must be put back in their place. Women shall return to the kitchen, stripped of the vote which has cost our nation so much, and those few blacks who claim the conservative banner shall be rewarded with the chance to once again labor in our fields. For only when the Thirteenth and Nineteenth are repealed will white male conservative Christians know true freedom.
I believe that every liberal is a traitor to the United States, and the penalty for treason is death. If you do not vote for those on the furthest right, you will be executed. If you do not personally kill those who believe differently than you, you will be executed. If you harbor such traitors within your own family, you will be executed. If you have ever voted Democrat in your life, you will be executed. If you have read liberal books, watched liberal media, or ever had a single liberal thought, you will be executed. Your liberal wives shall be killed, for they are tainted by the belief that they have the right to think on their own. Your liberal children shall be gunned down, for no liberal has a soul, and to kill something without a soul could never be a crime. By my count, the only way to restore order in America is for two hundred and fifty million criminals who falsely call themselves Americans to die. For only when one party and philosophy is completely removed from the face of God's earth will white male conservative Christians finally enjoy true democracy.
And in conclusion, I believe that my security forces have blocked off all the exits.
I did not act properly in my assault on the reporter. I should have killed him. This will now be corrected. Every lying liberal media Communist whore in this room will now be gunned down like the animals they are.
You see, in the past, we had an America where people could freely get together for a giant block party. They would have a cookout, sing a little, dance, and use the meeting to get rid of the neighborhood's undesirables. These days, the liberals have used the propaganda of their corrupt media and claimed this is some sort of crime. But I believe in old-fashioned values, and I'm going to bring lynchings back. My attack -- and again, I want to apologize for its non-fatal nature -- took place at a cookout. What did you think I was trying to do?
Because I want to show America what the future shall be. What it must be. We will hang the gays from the lampposts. We will throw the faithless into the gas chambers. We will whitewash this nation until it is once again pure. We will wipe Islam from history. We shall finish the job started more than seventy years ago and take Israel for our own, as our birthright. We will ultimately execute more than six billion soulless animals and leave behind only the true race, as our God intended, laughing while the rest of you burn.
For I have read the comments sections on the articles about my assault. I know the true people approve. I know they think I didn't go far enough. I know this is what they want me to do.
Thank you all for your time. Oh, and while we've been busy here, my staff has been researching the locations of your childrens' schools. With your last thoughts on my Earth, understand that they're next.
I am Greg Gianforte. I represent the real America. And this is what you deserve."
I think Greg Gianforte has been so damaged by this incident that Rob Quist (his Democratic opponent) will probably win the special election. When someone asks a question - even regarding our healthcare system - you don't resort to violence toward him/her.
See, this is satire done right.
...you're rather frustrated right now, aren't you?
4546307
And I think he already won. Montana allows advance voting via mail, and one article I saw basically said the majority of ballots may already be in. There's also a large number of polling places which are closed: the state struggled to get everything open and under budget in November, and can't afford to do it again. Add that to a state which is solidly red to begin with, and there's your ballgame.
There was a Twitter comment which, paraphrased, said that it was no longer possible to tell whether the assault would hurt the campaign or help it. I got to read a good cross-section of commentary from people who felt that the socialist/communist from the corrupt liberal media, who frankly looked to them like he could use a good beating, received so much less than he deserved.
A recent poll found that a notable percentage of Donald's supporters want the power of the executive branch to be expanded, including giving it the ability to shut down investigations. Additionally, a loyalty oath must be sworn to the President. And when you get some time, kill all liberals, moderates, and those who aren't conservative enough. Which wasn't part of the poll, but just give it a few months.
So I'm going to say he helped himself yesterday.
Fanatics tend not to care about the actual rules.
Clearly Mr. Gianforte was just answering the reporter's question. The Republican health plan consists of tackling and throttling the unwell until they are no longer a financial burden.
4546325
38 Jesus, who knew his next actions would set a model for the future, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance.
39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “the stone is too heavy for us to move. We cannot hire workers, for we are poor.”
40 Then Jesus said, “Then I am certainly not paying for this. And additionally, if you cannot pay to move a simple stone, you must not be able to afford health insurance. What do I look like to you, some sort of public charity paying out to those who won't even bother putting in enough effort to keep breathing?”
41 So they all walked away from the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Those who cannot afford their own care truly deserve to die."
42 "I know that you all heard me, but I said this for the benefit of the people in the future. It's not as if I'm supposed to act like some kind of charitable Christian or anything.”
43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “And as long as I'm at it, Hillary Clinton is the devil!”
44 The Donald stepped forward, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of freshly-printed money, with a ferret around his head.
Jesus said to him, “Go forth and kill some poor people. And make sure the last of their family's funds are used to pay for overpriced Trump-brand grave clothes.”
4546325 But who will pay for Boogie's healthcare? He didn't monetize himself being a glutton on the Internet just so he could pay for the consequences of his own actions!
Gonna be honest, I'm a libertarian myself, but I am also a Christian and tend to lean Republican a lot of the time. I agree that what he did was wrong, and if the comments are as bad as you say then you have a right to be worried. That said, I know this is satire, but please don't paint us all with the same brush. I want health care for as many people possible as well, I just don't think government is necessarily the best way for them to get it.
4546319
We could go for the full absurdity. He wins, is immediately impeached for his crime, and another special election is held.
He's already won. It's a solid red state. Nothing Matters. Republicans are scandal proof there
4546338 Speaking of absurdity, you might want to read this. I do not think that word means what you think it means. Also, it's only applicable to things done while in office.
I like how, in the article, the reporter calls the event "strange". Like, there's no outrage, "how could he do this to me?" thing going on, just, "What the heck, man? Seriously?"
4546333
I'll repeat what I said during the election: Donald isn't a conservative, much less a Republican. He's a demagogue populist, and those who've been following in his wake can frequently say the same.
I know conservatives. I regularly speak with conservatives. Conservatives have promised to have me killed in the last wave. What's been happening in American government has very little to do with conservatism. As for Christianity in current politics? I always go with this line.
Oh, and for the new arrivals: in terms of my own beliefs, I'm a fiscal conservative and social liberal. Which means that in further terms of national politics, I don't exist.
What an asshole. I don't like this trend of belligerence towards reporters just trying to do their job. It doesn't make the future look good. When we normalize acts of violence it encourages people to keep pushing to see how far they can go.
4546319 To Gianforte's credit, he *was* doing a private interview with another reporter when Jacobs strolled in like he owned the place, stuffed a mike under Gianforte's nose, and began to hammer him with 'have you stopped beating your wife' type questions about the 'non-partisan' CBO scoring of the Republican health care bill...
Then things went horribly, terribly wrong for Gianforte.
I'll admit to *wanting* to punch a few (censored) reporters when they decide to be biased (censored), particularly when they're rude, arrogant, elitist a-holes, but we live in a society where such behavior is discouraged. Thankfully.
I'm really expecting this to play out as "Gianforte wins, resigns under pressure. Governor appoints a (R)eplacement, special election is scheduled (again) for as far into the future as they can push it."
Yeah, I got nothing. Your country is very frightening.
4546346
What exactly is biased about asking someone running on the party in power's platform for their take on legislation that party is pushing for heavily and ran on implementing?
Mind you, I don't expect that you have a rational answer, seeing as how you've just backhandedly accused the CBO of playing partisan politics.
Edit: The CBO's cost analysis is here. If you have actual criticism of their conclusions beyond 'this disagrees with my pre-existing supposition that this bill will be candy and rainbow unicorn farts', then I would be happy to hear them.
4546346
So, just curious here, I've been trying to get a straight answer on this for months and maybe you're the person who can do it...
Please look at the following numbers.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Now: point out which are liberals.
Explain your reasoning.
4546333 please show me examples of private healthcare bringing affordable healthcare to as many people as possible.
Hint: it doesn't.
4546344
so a Democrat?
4546330 I sometimes wonder why conservatives thump their bibles so much.
It's been some years, but I don't recall Jesus charging the 40,000 a fee when he broke out the loaves and fishes. Nor did he demand payment from the lepers he cured. Not to mention throwing the money changers out of the temple...
Did the bibles of America miss out of the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John?
Then again, I was raised as one of those dirty, rotten, filthy Catholics. The least Christian of the faiths, according to most of the others.
4546354
It's a big tent. They've got everything from fiscal conservative/social liberals to fans of fully automated gay space communism.
4546350 No. Be a little skeptical of numbers used in a partisan political campaign, particularly from *anybody* who claims to be nonpartisan. As an example, the CBO has long been regarded as unreliable for accurate predictions as noted by the Cato institution (Right) and the Washington Times (Left). The numbers for the Obamacare passage were specifically gamed to pass even the slanted CBO analysis, so it is no wonder all the estimates turned out to be wrong in the same way.
4546349 " seeing as how you've just backhandedly accused the CBO of playing partisan politics."
Hm, could have sworn that was a forehand shot. Anyway, it's an easy enough target to run a few dozen pages on, but one example stands out: The CBO bases all of its estimates on static weighting, so any tax increase does not show the resulting drag on the economy, and any tax cut does not show the related expansion of the economy.
4546354
Probably not. Currently, I vote for whoever I feel might do the least damage -- and in November, I was pretty much fed up with everyone involved. Would you like to know who I voted for in the Presidential race? I'll tell you.
*prepares to wave goodbye to 900 followers*
I voted for Gary Johnson. And I'm not Libertarian.
This was my reasoning.
* I was sick of Donald and Ms. Clinton both, although not quite equally.
* My state's color is a very solid one. In that sense, my vote makes no difference whatsoever on the local level, let alone the national one. The state was going for one candidate and there was nothing I could do about it.
* It would have been nice to see a third group qualify for federal matching funds in the next election through reaching a crucial national vote percentage. And I didn't think I could really make a difference there either, but at least my ballot would have been doing something...
So you could argue that I wasted my vote: the Libertarians didn't get to 5%. But my state went the way it was always going to go, and by a margin I couldn't have touched. We know what the national result was. And frankly? I'm still sick of both of them.
However, the divide in actual individual illness-inflicted levels has continued to increase.
...oh, look: my Patreon just dropped to $0.00.
I'm sure it's a coincidence.
4546368
I seldom fully trust government numbers because government. However, I'm expecting the results to go something like this.
"So we passed the bill. The one which the CBO predicted would result in fourteen million people instantly losing their insurance. Guess what? They were wrong."
"They were?"
"Absolutely. Only thirteen and a half million people instantly lost their insurance. The rest had to wait up to a week because they were still getting the drop notice by mail. And there was more good news! Of the forty thousand who died within the first month because they could no longer pay to manage their conditions, an extra forty-six were in blue states! That must mean we lost more liberal voters than conservatives!"
"WINNING!"
4546369
Eh, your vote's your vote, but I couldn't stomach Johnson or his party's platform. It's pretty self-evident than the Invisible Hand of the Free Market makes no moral judgement beyond profit, and their assertion that it will resolve all injustice and social issues is a bit absurd.
4546369 Heck, I voted for (looks around and lowers voice) Ross Perot some years ago, so I can feel your pain.
4546374 Oh, all the government numbers are warped, even the ones that are supposed to report what has happened instead of what is supposed to happen. Remember how all the job growth numbers for most of the last decade were released to great fanfare every month, then quietly 'adjusted' downward a few weeks afterward? Obamacare was supposed to cover everybody and lower premiums, and yet premiums are now double what they were in 2013 and there are still 27 million people without health insurance, (11% of the population) mostly because they can't afford it.
4546376
Well, not all injustice and social issues. Because as Mr. Hannity personally explains to me every time the subject is brought up, when the far right boycotts a business due to that corporation's practices, it is a Moral Good wrought by the People through a Grass Roots Campaign. However, whenever anyone else does the same thing, it is Fascism and An Assault On Free Speech wrought by the Nazi Left through The Soros Conspiracy Which Murdered Seth Rich. Which one is it when Libertarians do it? No idea. But whatever it is, we're probably asking a lot of it when it comes to resolving everything.
I didn't love the platform either. But I thought that ultimately, for the Big Two, I was being given a choice between the probable corruption I knew or the potential insanity I'd seen more than a few signs of. And by November, I was not ready to go full Mae West and decide 'Here's two evils. Let's have the one I haven't tried before!'
I never thought Mr. Johnson could win. But I think this nation needs more voices.
For those who are currently in power, I remain heartily sick of just about everybody.
The irritating thing is the double standard. I'm pretty sure Gianforte and his ilk would have demanded Quist be locked up if he bodyslammed Jesse Watters or something.
4546318
I recently had an idea for a serial killer novel. The central plot revolves around someone who goes through comments sections and finds those who claim to be truly dedicated to their cause. One of those is chosen and abducted, taken to a location where a kidnapped child awaits. If the abducted party is, say,
white nationalistfascist ultra-right, the child will be a kindergartner from a Muslim family who once told her teacher that she wants to grow up to be mayor. The killer believes that the fascist is truly devoted, and so a chance is being offered to do exactly what that party said he would during all those comments: kill the enemy. So the fascist is given a choice. He can kill the child and prove himself loyal. Or he can refuse -- and be killed himself.Word of this comments stalker starts to reach the public. And when it does, more than a few people -- unite behind the killer. They start killing children themselves, so they will be proven worthy. Isn't that what's important?
The title would have been No True Scotsman.
So yes, I'm a little frustrated.
4546350
How weird is it that I've always associated the numbers '0' through '9' with personalities?
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
0: Lends quiet support to the other numbers, is taken for granted until he snaps and leaves them to sort out the !@$# and they learn to appreciate him.
1: Wants everyone to be the best they can be, and is really annoying and loud.
2: The lone bedrock of sanity in the family.
3: The villainous one. Constantly schemes and plots to get ahead, but is mostly harmless.
4: Friendly, lazy, and will wreck you if provoked. Sans, essentially.
5: Determined to make sure that everyone gets along, at the cost of everything, up to and including his own sanity.
6: No one knows anything about six. He just does stuff. Everyone just accepts that he's there without questioning anything.
7: The cool one.
8: The smart, big sister, mentor-y one.
9: Thinks she's the smart big sister mentor, but is a little shallow, distract-able, neurotic, and gives terrible advice.
I've stopped paying attention to most of this kind of thing because I still need to function.
I just find it hilarious how much this guy looks like Michael Gaston.
4546403
He's going to be a series regular for the next season of The Man In The High Castle.
Coincidence...?
The more I see of humanity, the more I am convinced that not the only decent form of government is Benevolent Tyrant Princess Celestia (sic), but also that humanity itself doesn't collectively deserve the benevolent part. I would serious vote DOOM if he was a candiate, because, frag dammit, the trains WOULD run on time, beause you'd be abswering to a Doombot if they didn't... (Hell, I suspect even copyright issues and content ID problems would go away, since everything belongs to DOOM anyway...)
I shudder to think of the idiocy that will result from our abrupt general election in a couple of weeks, since I don't actually trust ANY of the people in power to do anything like a competant job. (Like South Park says, it's always a choice between turd sandwich and a stupid douche...)
Roll on the robot overlords, I say. Or the alien overlords. Or the robot alien overlords. They cannot possibly do a worse job than humans do themselves, even if they make humans extinct.
4546410
I'm guessing the MU's Donald has already made multiple speeches about how good Victor's been for the Latverian economy.
(And has also demanded that Congress give him 2.6 trillion for the Sentinels program. Because if he can't fly, then no one should.)
4546387 You should find some friends to talk this stuff over with, because going on angry political rants on the internet tends to end badly, for everyone involved.
Also, get some hot cocoa. Hot cocoa makes everything better. If it's too hot for hot cocoa, get a smoothie. Fruit drinks are the bomb.
4546411 There was a Marvel comic awhile back that parodied Trump by making him into M.O.D.O.K.
Frankly, I think that was doing M.O.D.O.K. a disservice.
4546414
I stopped commenting on political sites last year, mostly because simply reading through the things made me want to kill nearly everyone involved. But it's hard to read an online news article and not reach the hyper-trolling, especially with the sites which like to place comments as sidebar popups in real time. And I live in a world which has people going to sleep on a final prayer of "God, please let there be a massacre tomorrow so I can mock the families of the deceased while blaming innocent deaths on anything I don't like."
It was always like this: read the Letters To The Editor from the first days of newspapers. It just happens faster now.
4546368 The Washington Times is "Left"? Now, I feel a little hesitant about correcting you since you appear to be a person who knows what they're saying and why, but the only couple of times I've heard people refer to that newspaper it was definitely mentioned as a conservative outlet. Hell, it even has Ben Carson and Newt Gringrich amongst its columnists.
4546411
Somehow, I can just see MT Trump being another justin Hammer and attempting to run another of the only-just-worse-than-this-Earth government's endless stream of dirty black ops "humans first" organisations.
Like DC's CADMUS, only with worse hair...
(Wow, even I am stooping to physical commentary. That's low even for me. Possibly justified, mind, For balance, I'd make an equal commentary about one of my own lot, but they are so blergh they aren't good phyiscal joke fodder; and sadly the days of Spitting Image are long gone...)
4546356
I'm not sure how that would work, but I think I might be persuaded. It sounds like fun times.
4546440 Either Hammer or Roxxon.
As long as I'm weary, here's a followup to the Big Numbers blog post.
It's been over a month since the MyVegas app went through the changes detailed in the link, and I've been collecting my daily free credits as per usual. What I've learned is that a normal routine of such collections allows me to achieve and maintain the third tier of supposed bonuses. Once I reached Opal status, I had to get about 400 VIP points every two weeks in order to stay there. All it means in practical terms is a very few extra credits on each collection. But with standard free play, I can remain on that level there indefiitely.
However, in order to reach the next tier, I would need to earn a total of 1400 points.
The new earning cycle begins tomorrow. I have about 1000 VIP points earned in this one and cannot get the difference through normal play. So let's say I want a promotion. How could I make up the necessary ground? By purchasing chip packages, which grant an immediate boost, and tell you how much of one is gained from each purchase. So in order to cover the gap, I'd have to spend... ten dollars.
And spend that every two weeks.
For a total benefit of, every four hours, roughly two additional spins.
The maximum level? That lasts ninety days and requires earning 33,000 VIP points in a standard period to reach. (No idea how much is needed to maintain.) Want to know how many VIP points you get from purchasing the $99.99 chip package?
Four thousand.
So it's only around $3,300 to, for a period of one year, buy your way to the top.
Huzzah.
4546414 Pretty much this. This is early stages of Mythrilmoth, it really feels out of place on the pony words site.
4546419 I like your stories, but going hard either left or right is polarizing to the audience.
4546420 Yeah, the Washington Times is very much a conservative publication. Perhaps Georg was mixing it up with the Washington Post.
The thing about voting in Lord Tyrant Despotic Dictatorship Their AI Havalok Vetinary, that by law, teh AI has to be able to tell you exactly How they reached their resulting action.
Being a Tyrant, thats exactly Vetinary would do, because nothings more brutally destructive than The Truth.
4546487
Yes, I've seen the speeches on other sites. "How dare Colbert make a joke about the right! He'll lose his entire audience! -- yes, I said his entire audience: everyone knows liberals don't watch television! They just make it while controlling the media! The audience is too stupid to operate a remote!"
I had to clean that up a little for sentence structure.
I'm very much about the stupidity of all sides: see Naked Lunch for details. There are Republicans I would vote for and Democrats I'd never get near. But yesterday, I believe a representative of the right was the stupider. And as far as audience reactions to that belief? Three words apply: so it goes. Anyone who doesn't want to deal with those whose beliefs are a little different can find an echo chamber to suit with a little work. Those who leave -- leave. I lost a follower the last time I said something political. I enjoyed his presence while he was here, I appreciated him as a reader and commenter both, and I'll never get him back. Freedom of speech includes the freedom to take the consequences for what I said. In that case? Minus one.
It doesn't prevent me from speaking.
So if my follower count drops due to this post? So it goes.
Imagine if I said Breath Of The Wild might not deserve a rating of 10/10.
4546509
...That's hypothetical right? I...I'd be so conflicted if it wasn't.
4546348
I consistently fail to understand how America even functions.
4546509
Personally, I'm not so much concerned about your political opinions (I kinda avoid politics exactly because of the shitstorms it causes, that and I have no confidence in my opinions or research skills) as I am about you letting your anger overtake the better of you and drive people away.