Fic recs, July 25th: Trollfics edition! · 10:27pm Jul 25th, 2016
I coulda posted this tomorrow, but where's the fun in that? Besides, I can now tell you a day (well, half a day) sooner that there is less than a week left in the Soft Hands Inaugural Fanfiction Contest! Lots of not-prizes to be had, am I right?
Also, Soft Hands is now an SCP!
So, last night, I discovered the existence of a story called Discord Kicks Fluttershy in the Dick, and I just really wanted to read it, and then I didn't want it hanging around on the bottom of my Read It Now list all by itself with its prequel, so I went to my RIL for some of the lowest-rated fics I could find, and also there's a story in there about farts. :B Point being, get ready for a quick and dirty look at what goes into good crackfic, badfic and trollfic! And the one legitimate fic that actually wasn't that great. <.< Never try, kids, you'll only get hurt.
H: 0 R: 1 C: 7 V: 1 N: 1
Fluttershy Kicks Discord in the Balls by Pot8osoup
Genre: Pony Does X
Well, he did poison Angel's food…
The best joke in this story is, sadly, in the second sentence. It's even used as a decent running gag midway through! But there wasn't really enough humor in this piece to justify the comedy tag, as far as I'm concerned. There were also a few spots where poor formatting made things difficult to follow.
Not Recommended
Discord Kicks Fluttershy in the Dick by moviemaster8510
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Fluttershy Kicks Discord in the Balls
Genre: Trollfic
Look at that title. Consider it for a moment. Realize what's missing. Then check out the description for the "Spontaneous Futashy" tag and appreciate the act of giving a pony a dick just to make things worse for them. That's why I wanted to read this. This is not the kind of trollfic you'd turn off Mature filters for, but for all that it goes for a couple of really gross gags, it was everything I wanted. A certain amount of schadenfreude directed at Fluttershy and Angel will be necessary for an enjoy.
Troll Recommended
The Fart by MythrilMoth
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: EQG Comedy
Someone farts at the sleepover. A bad time is had.
I found this in connection with the previous story, I'm not sure exactly how. (Everything after this comes off my RIL.) It's not the Cough parody I was hoping for, but it's still a heaping helping of fart jokes nevertheless. Plus, it ends in the most perfect way possible. If you like toilet humor, you'll love this.
Recommended If You Think Farts Are Funny
ThE Autumn Apple by apple short
Mature: Sex
Genre: Badfic
You guys know apple short, right? He was a true savant of badfic who is no longer around Fimfiction because nothing gold can stay. This, for instance, is his lowest-rated fic. It reads like a mad lib, just about every word having some nonsensical modifier attached to it. Half the time, it seems as though the dialogue and narration are from two completely different stories. It features Spike and Applejack having sex. But goddamn if it's not the funniest shit ever. Just the linguistic convolutions the story goes through are a sight to behold. It's really amazing, and if you can let the state of something absolve its content, you will get a kick and a half out of this.
Recommended for Badfic Connoisseurs
Majin Buu Rapes Equestria by DeluxeMagnum99
Mature: Sex
Genre: Badfic/DragonBall Z Crossover
Comparing this story to the previous one, this feels like the author was really trying hard to be wacky. Which is not to say this isn't funny, because it is, but in between perfectly comedic moments where ponies nonchalantly react to being penetrated, there are long stretches (ohgodwhydidIputitthatway) of screaming and penises that are not, in and of themselves, inherently funny. At least MJB is literally having sex with the planet and not just a bunch of ponies; I mean, that's better than I was anticipating. The best part is I can blame Syeekoh for it.
Vaguely Recommended
He-Man in Equestria by GanonsSpirit
Genre: Crackfic/He-Man Crossover
After being pulled into another world with his arch-nemesis, He-Man searches for a way to stop Skeletor and return home to Eternia.
It may go without saying, given the nature of this blog, but this thing is weird. Sometimes, it's funny, like the flippant introductions the ponies give. Sometimes, it feels like watching an old, bad 80's cartoon. And sometimes it's just… there? Maybe it's because I've already read another He-Man crackfic, written by Blueshift, and you really can't beat him at that game. Still, there's some quality stuff in here, like what happens to Applejack at the end of chapter three and the fight song. You really have to read it for the song, I'm not kidding. In the end, it is distinctly a trollfic, just one that takes a while to really get where it's going.
Troll Recommended
Sketti Go: The Brilliant by Xx soul sorrow xX
Genre: Badfic
Come follow the story of Sketti Go — everyone's favorite zebralicorn — as she pursues her true love, murders her friends, makes it through high school without doing her homework and lives the pasta-maker's dream!
This is the holy grail of MLP badfic. Every word is a pure, precious gem floating in a sea of liquid victory. It is flawless perfection, the ultimate in how not to write a story. My god, it's full of stars. (DarkLily OTP) Highly Troll Recommended.
Recommended
Rainbow Dash's Lesbian Secret by Ara
Mature: Sex
Genre: Crackfic
Rainbow Dash is secretly afraid that maybe she's not as good at lesbian as she thinks she is.
You know it's high-quality crack when Rarity poops on Rainbow Dash's face, and not in a sexy way! The most amazing part is that, for all that this is nowhere near being a situation that would occur in the show, and thus some out-of-character humor occurs, Rainbow Dash is totally in character, and this has a good moral! Mostly, it's just the kind of crackfic that Ara serves up best, and I have no idea why it's his lowest-rated story. That seems like a shame to me, yes sir, it is.
Troll Recommended
---------------------------------------------------- by Kezraux
Reading by Voiceguy
Genre: PoE/HiE/What
Derek's rainy morning keeps being interrupted by a midnight blue pony princess.
Yeah, the title is literally 52 spaces. (I guess the author was trying to out-Trampoline Super Trampoline.) As for the story itself, it, ah, really fits that Random tag. It's kind of fascinating, in a way. It builds to a climax, then keeps going, then stops. The writing itself is actually pretty decent, if fast-paced, yet it more or less studiously avoids trying to be a story. This is probably going to be more interesting to readers into experimental anti-fiction (is that a thing? It's a thing now, I made it a thing) than trollfics, because there isn't much in the way of laughs. Still, I liked it, for a certain definition of the word 'like'.
Recommended If You Like Weird Shit
Princess Twilight Sparkle Hangs Out in My Bedroom (Not Like That) and Keeps Me Company While I Finally Do the Saddleback Community College Geography Field Studies Morro Bay Camping Trip Post-Trip Photo Journal and Essay Assignment I've Been Avoiding by Super Trampoline
Genre: Metafiction
AND SPEAKING OF SUPER TRAMPOLINE, he cannot be outdone, because he is the Super Trampolinest. This feels a tad aimless, but also like something deeply personal for the author, and I respect that. (Hell, two or three years ago, I might have downvoted it for "How dare you insert yourself into Equestria just so Twilight can help you with your homework?!?!?!" I don't care about that quite so much anymore.) It's not really trollfiction, and wouldn't even fall under 'crackfic' save for Twilight's characterization (which, I should add, is about the same characterization I gave her in the story where I went to Equestria, so). This might be worth a little read; just don't expect it to have much of a point. I mean, he doesn't even work on the darn assignment! The title is a lie.
Recommended as Light Reading
I enjoyed reading these reviews and by enjoyed I mean I was laughing.
I failed that biology class btw, because I never did end up doing any of the work for it, which is par the course.
You seem to be blaming me for a lot recently.
I learned long a ago that your troll/crack fic reviews were vastly more entertaining to me than the stories themselves. And so, I have achieved a modicum of entertainment for the day and need no longer attempt to fulfill one of my declared rights: the pursuit of happiness.
Gotta catch 'em all.
4112629
I blame ponies.
4112640
I blame Syeekoh.
:V
4112729
Apparently you are not alone! :O
I did read through the first two sentences of the first one, and that was worth it! Stuck with your rec for the rest of the review though.
I try to space out my apple short reading, because I know there probably will never be any more. D:
But I think I just noticed from this one... is weird out of context "she sipped the cider" a multi-story running gag? :D
And Spike as a slave to his desires may actually be a case of reclaiming an overdone metaphor by virtue of the description being more literally true than is usually the case when it's used.
With the He-Man one, I agree with a lot you had to say. I don't think it helps the comparison that I recently "read" the Blueshift one as a Scribbler and co. reading, which of course had some good performances and production backing up the fic itself. There just wasn't much going on in the first three chapters between the (mixed) comedic introductions and the Applejack thing much later. But the song was hilarious, and the chapter 4/5 transition was a shock in a great way. And the ending. That ending. :D
Just wish that in sketti the description of Cadence had included a sentence about her loving tiaras.
Oh my god. RD trying to convince Applehat. So much laughter. And it wasn't just Dash was it? Sure, the rest had some more deviation, but even bent, I don't think you could change any of the other five around and have it work at all right.
I'm pretty sure that I read "The fart" at some point, or maybe some other fart parody of The Cough. There is no way that is the only one.
I didn't know that I needed a parody of The Cough called The Fart, but now that you mention it...
4113455
I dunno, I will have to keep an eye out for that. :O I do know this story has references to at least two others, so there's that!
4113503
4113536
I can't remember which story it is, but Argembarger had a great one-line reference to it in one of his fics...
4113503 4113641 Or you could, you know, search for a story named "The Fart".
4113934
Oh shit, I forgot about that.
PP this has been an excellent review blog. I give it #blameSickoh/10
4113934
kms
It was Rarity, wasn't it?
thank for reviewing my store :W !!!
4199883
Thanks for writing it! :D Never change.