Friendship is Card Games: The Saddle Row Review · 11:27am May 22nd, 2016
Okay, so I’m set to watch the episode, right? Knew it was a Rarity episode, some kind of shenanigans involving the rest of the Mane Six at some point, not much beyond that. This? This was not what I expected.
Ah, thank you.
What? No, I just ordered the pancakes because I can't digest, like, half of the menu. Hay. Human. Not a good mix. Don't worry, your expense account is safe with me. Where was I?
Right. Now, I’m not saying it was bad. I’m not sure what I expected, but this…
Huh? Yeah, I’ve kibitzed enough. Let’s get professional.
We open with Rainbow Dash going at less than one percent her top speed while in a hurry. Seriously, why didn’t she just zip ahead to grab the paper off of Rarity’s front step? Because we wouldn’t have a story. Always important to take the characters’ capabilities into account, especially when one of them can go supersonic.
The episode does do a good job of hooking the viewer with a very intriguing question: Why wasn’t Rarity at her own boutique opening? After all, that’s the logical conclusion given the information we have before the theme song. Of course, it also illustrates how narrative cleverness can look like incompetence to an untrusting audience, as Aragón noted recently. Coming right after Rainbow Crawl didn’t help.
Whoa. That’s a Pulp Fiction reference during the pan across the diner. Those are clearly equine John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson, presumably a few days after a serious discussion over the sexual implications of a hoof massage. Rather appropriate given the nonlinear storytelling of this episode, but I never thought I’d see Tarantino in Equestria... well, other than the glowing suitcase in "Testing Testing 1-2-3."
Horse-Russia is apparently canon. Also, I really hope the article called Mr. Stripes out his gross extortion and nepotistic demands.
I can understand Rarity missing the raccoons during “Gift of the Maud Pie;” they could be a recent development. But how did she miss the freaking party palace? I suppose she might have only examined the space she was renting without looking at the other tenants. Not a good idea, but this is her first boutique that doesn’t have the building all to itself.
Huh. Answered my own question.
Wait, sole sales associate? Rarity seriously planned on having only one clerk, and was going to pull Coco off Bridleway? Yeah, she’s definitely fighting the last war here. What works in Canterlot will not work in Manehattan. I just hope Rarity learned that from this near-disaster.
Also, that “my sweet” launched a freaking armada of shipping. I almost heard the champagne bottle shatter.
Vinyl and Twilight need to collaborate. That sweep remix is a platinum record waiting to happen.
While the episode does establish why the group can’t take longer to prepare Rarity For You, it doesn’t explain why they didn’t start earlier. Presumably their own lives interfered, but this still makes Rarity look horribly unprepared.
Holy crap, a clone survived! This Tumblr just became quasi-canon… unless it’s actually human Pinkie and that bit of the Friendship Games blooper reel was more accurate than we realized.
Why, oh why would anyone put Dash in charge of equine resources for a fashion boutique? I suppose she needed to do something, but she could’ve dealt with Plaid Stripes… though that would put Applejack in charge of hiring. Yeah, there’s really no good option there.
Also, I’m a little disappointed that she didn’t curl her mane during her Rarity impression.
One of the reasons I wait until Sunday to post these is that it gives the fandom a chance to make fridge logic connections. I noticed that angel Rarity’s halo seemed unusually yellow and fuzzy. It wasn’t until someone noted it on Derpibooru that I realized it was a haylo. That may be one of the most subtle puns the show’s had since Froggy Bottom Bog.
Oh, and angels and devils are things in Equestria… or at least in Pinkie’s mind, since nopony else imagined shoulder morality versions of Rarity. I’m just going to file this one in the planeswalker evidence file. 
Heh. Shades of “Magical Mystery Cure” with Applejack approving of the spoon clothes. Careful, AJ. That way lies existential despair and financial ruin.
So the moral is the polar opposite of “Castle Sweet Castle.” Sometimes, your friends delegate to you, trusting that you’ll handle it in your way. It’s not a contradiction, but a matter of context.
Don’t chase off the squirrel! Fashion is the right of all sapient beings. Or something like that.
Speaking of, spiffy uniforms for the raccoons, but I have to wonder if they did the cooking as well.
Describing the multi-time saviors of the world, including an alicorn, as “a ragtag group of ne’er-do-wells.” Manehattan, ladies and gentlemen, where it’s not what you are, it’s what you do. In Manehattan. In the past week.
In all, this wasn’t a terribly deep episode, but it was a lot of fun, especially with the interview framing device. Rarity’s business empire continues to expand, and we got a few very interesting new characters to work with.
Still, I have to note something worrisome: The writers have no idea what to do with Starlight Glimmer when she’s not in the spotlight. If the episode doesn’t focus on her, they don’t even bother putting her in. That’s not a good sign. Seeing her in a supporting or incidental role would do a lot to help make her feel integrated into the show. Yes, the process of that integration is still ongoing in-story, but she still sticks more than she needs to.
But enough of that. For now, let’s turn to my latest collection:
Encouraging Angel 1W
Creature — Unicorn Angel
Flying
Whenever you cast a white spell, you gain 1 life.
Lesser angels lack the raw power to smite the wicked, and thus rely on positive reinforcement.
1/2
Syncopated Sweeping 1W
Instant
Choose one or both —
• Destroy target enchantment.
• Put a verse counter on each Song you control.
MC Sparklepants’s premiere single soon took the charts by storm.
Locked in the Closet 2W
Enchantment
When Locked in the Closet enters the battlefield, exile target creature for as long Locked in the Closet is on the battlefield.
2W: Exile Locked in the Closet, then return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control.
Air of Perfection 3W
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +2/+2.
When you’re dealt combat damage, sacrifice Air of Perfection.
”The slightest mistake, the slightest sign of weakness, and Manehattan will eat you alive.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Thorough Interview 1U
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Thorough Interview, tap an untapped creature you control. That creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step.
Draw cards equal to the tapped creature’s power.
Banishment Blitz 2UU
Instant
Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can’t cast spells or activate abilities that aren’t mana abilities.)
Counter target creature spell.
”Don’t come in yet! Or ever!”
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
Lingering Image 3UU
Creature — Shapeshifter
You may have Lingering Image enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it gains persist. (When it dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)
0/0
Time Crunch 3UU
Sorcery
Target player skips his or her next turn.
”There simply aren’t enough hours in the day, but adding more would cause far more problems than it would solve.”
—Princess Celestia
Glowing Bite 1B
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+0 and gains wither until end of turn. (It deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
“Radium! It’s the latest thing! Ponies will go gaga over it!”
—Plaid Stripes, eager lunatic
Philosophical Hoodlums 5B
Creature — Pony Rogue
Menace
Whenever Philosophical Hoodlums deals combat damage to player, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.
”You know what they call a Quarter Baler in Prance?”
4/3
Caked in Dust 1R
Enchantment — Aura
Devoid (This card has no color.)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is colorless.
Neglected areas can carry a spiritual deadness akin to far more terrible forces.
Spoiler Alert 1R
Enchantment
Whenever a player scries X, Spoiler Alert deals X damage to that player.
”Nopony likes a surprise ruiner.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Time Trial 1R
Instant
Up to three target creatures attack this turn if able.
”First one to the Hocklyn Bridge wins!”
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Eager Lunatic 2R
Creature — Pony
Inspired — Whenever Eager Lunatic becomes untapped, exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn.
Her thoughts run perpendicular to reality, embracing ideas nopony else would even consider.
2/2
Sarcastic Devil 3R
Creature — Unicorn Devil
Flying
Whenever an opponent casts a spell during your turn, Sarcastic Devil deals 2 damage to that player.
Some remarks cut more than others.
2/1
Apple Family Aesthetics G
Instant
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. That permanent’s controller puts a colorless Equipment artifact token named Hat onto the battlefield. It has equip 1 and "Equipped creature gets +0/+1.”
”I may not know fashion, but I know what I like.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Raccoon Squatters 2G
Creature — Beast
Whenever a nonbasic land enters the battlefield under an opponent’s control, you may return Raccoon Squatters from your graveyard to your hand.
Manehattan is an ecosystem unto itself.
3/2
Spoon Claws 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Whenever you gain life, put a +1/+1 counter on equipped creature.
Equip 2
Sometimes utility outweighs ferocity.
Fabric Quiz UR
Instant
Choose a color. Target opponent reveals a card from his or her hand at random. If the revealed card is the chosen color, draw two cards. Otherwise, return Fabric Quiz to its owner’s hand. (Colorless isn’t a color.)
Rainbow Dash used every ounce of her fashion knowledge to choose the best salespony.
Manehattan Landlord 2WB
Creature — Pony Citizen
Artifacts your opponents control have “At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this artifact unless you pay 1 life.”
”Amenities, they do not come cheap, yes?”
2/2
Sick Day 3UB
Sorcery
Target player loses 1 life for each tapped creature he or she controls. Creatures don’t untap during that player’s next untap step.
Convalescence can’t be rescheduled.
Party Palace
Land
T: Add C to your mana pool.
T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. Spend this mana only to cast a Song spell or activate an ability of a Song.
”This is my domain. This is where the beats reign supreme. This is where the bass drops you.”
—Vinyl Scratch
The sad part? There already ARE remixes of the song; I've seen two and I think there's at least one more I haven't heard yet.
3962898
I found three in YouTube, one of which came out about seven hours after the end of the episode.
I've been somewhat worried about the fandom cooling down. This helped quite a lot.
"Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Laugher"?
3962901 I'm still waiting for the fanfic where Twilight finds out she accidentally started the next big thing in the music industry.
A fun episode, but the continuing lack of respect the Mane Six get becomes more baffling with each passing season. Also, some priorities appear to be very backwards on pony Fleet Street: save the world repeatedly, nopony really cares. Open a shop in Manehatten, and suddenly your newsworthy.
Even the worst tabloids aren't that screwed up with their reporting. Well, maybe the Sport and the Star.
3962903
Yikes. This is what happens when I write flavor text while undercaffeinated. Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.
3962910 I just assume that they're a state secret. Add in the likelihood that Manehattan is probably in the core of the old Earth Pony Republic, and so probably still harbours republican tendencies, and you've got a high likelihood that they know who Twilight is and just don't give a damn. In fact Princess Celestia herself probably couldn't get a cab in Manehattan.
It was written by J. Jonah Jamenson what did you expect? He's probably writing how the Avengers are lazy, Batman is a loon, and how Superman...ok, The comics proved that even he can't write something bad about Superman. Hec, in that same story when he tried to mess with Clark like he did with Peter, he found out he couldn't.
Re: Starlight Glimmer; I'm wondering if this episode and others were holdover, unused scripts from Season 5? Or, at least, started without knowledge that SG was going to become a regular?
3962910
I feel the writers were thinking to first reinforce the fact that Ponyland and Ponies do NOT follow earth or its sensibilities, merely imitate it; they have to in order to keep the fandom from boxing them in, because it's supposed to be a roger-rabbit toonworld heavily doped with causality, for justifying freedom of animation and spontaneous villainy.
They were thinking second to address the huge lack of drama opportunities caused by the mane cast being made of national heroes and literal royalty.
3962929
I accept your headcanon, and will assimilate it into my own.
It might seem crazy, wearing stripes with plaid.
That's what I thought when I heard the landlord's daughter's name.
Locked in the Closet looks insanely useful, by the way. It's a near O-Ring that can switch targets, or you can use it to abuse enter-the-battlefield triggers.
I don't think you realize just how unnecessarily badass that sounds.
It's another episode I liked! Three in a row now! Praise be! I think we're finally back on track. I was worried there for a few weeks.
3962904
And thus she'll finally get recognition in Manehattan... as a musician.
3962910
I'm with 3962929 on this one. Given how ponies in Canterlot didn't recognize Rarity after she got a full Star Wars medal ceremony, it's clear that Celestia has an incredible degree of control over information when she chooses to exercise it. Plus, as far as national security goes, it's probably a good idea to keep the only ponies who can operate the magical superweapon relatively anonymous. After putting the Elements back in the charger, the most ambitious members of the Mane Six started making names for themselves in their respective fields, while those happy with their lot didn't. And yes, this does imply some rather unsavory string-pulling while the Bearers were still actively bearing.
Meanwhile, it's been my headcanon since "Rarity Takes Manehattan" that no alicorn, Celestia included, can get a cab in Manehattan to save her life. Manehattanites likely pride themselves on their egalitarian customs. And their cuisine. And their culture. And their sports teams. And...
Well, Manehattanites pride themselves on a lot of things.
3962978
I suppose if they'd provided him with pictures of Spider-Colt, he'd have been a bit more charitable.
3963037
Probably not holdovers, but given how they hadn't hashed out Starlight's backstory back when they were writing "The Cutie Map," I could see some of Season 6 getting written before making her part of the regular cast, especially given the brief period between seasons.
3963169
Is badassitude ever unnecessary? But seriously, if the writers refuse to give Vinyl lines (or a name that doesn't have numbers in it,) then I will address the issue to the best of my ability.
Locked in the Closet is a lot better than it may initially appear, because its activated ability allows it to dodge removal.
I've recently been quite enraptured by Undertale, so Caked in Dust has a very different meaning to me. Getitoffgetitoffwhywon'titcomeOFF!
Oh hey, Spoon Claws can replace Archangel of Thune in the combo with Fathom Mage and Horizon Chimera
It could also be a changeling, maybe even Mr. Nice Guy changeling at the Ponyville wedding.
Given the context though, my money is on an escaped clone.
Given that Starlight's 'deal' is that she really doesn't get that she can't magic problems away, her role as a back-up character would have to be something like "Well-intentioned meddler who needs to learn to just lay off." It's thus sort of too bad that they didn't really explore teaming her up with Best Pony
and see the disappointing end result of getting her eyes to work as a team.
I didn't find much to say about this episode, but it was enjoyable. I continue to feel very happy about season 6: even the episodes that don't mean much are thoroughly entertaining.
One thing that did occur to me is that the three mares who were applying for the job probably all thought "the proprietor has sent this deranged pegasus to see how we hold up under intense and irrational pressure" and that this was perfectly normal in Manehattan's competitive fashion scene, and that's why none of them seemed at all phased.
3963697
Probably, yes, but the obvious solution is rarely if ever the most entertaining one.
3963971
"Fix it!"
"Fix it!"
(Derpy's eyes align. The entire universe begins to crumble around them.)
"I'm trying!"
"I'm trying!"
3964052
Headcanon accepted. Dash probably garnered quite a bit of respect for Rarity through those shenanigans. There's a certain eccentric mystique around her hiring process now, like trying to get a job at Google.
Wow, I really need to figure out a way to watch this "My Little Pony" show. DAMN YOU PROSECUTION FOR BITTORRENTING!
It's better than the alternative, which would be to put her in the episode.
Meant to reply Sunday, but forgot. Here it is almost Tuesday... . Better late than never, right?
I think the second option on Syncopated Sweeping is a little too powerful, especially on an Instant. The Songs all have janky effects with time as their limiter, and being able to jump forward one turn on all your Songs for 1W at Instant speed is rather powerful. I think it should only hit one Song.
I like the spin Locked in the Closet puts on good ol O-Ring.
I feel that Lingering Image could be a part of many a combo, and I love it. My first thought was have it enter as nothing so it dies right away and when it comes back copy a Morselhoarder for THREE mana and then find some means of killing it off again for even more mana, the Alter is a classic go to of course and there are ever so many things you an do with an unlimited source of five mana, two of which is colorless but X normally doesn't care about color... .
No, I don't know. What do they call a Quarter Baler in Prance? And what's a Quarter Baler anyways?
The "scries" on Spoiler Alert feels odd, but I guess that is how it would have to be done. There is no "would scry" effect nor is there another way of telling when a player does it unless you want to get really wordy.
It's a very Red effect though, and is something I could see them maybe doing one day.
You might want to put it as "you may return" on Raccoon Squatters, since a lot of the effects I found that bring things back to hand are may effects and it gives the chance for imperfect play.
Uhh, +2/+0 on Spoon Claws? Plus two attack? I know spoons hurt more but really?
I know we get some odd bonuses from some Equipment but this is just a bit ridiculous. I could see a plus one.
Fabric Quiz basically always draws two on the first time against a mono-color deck, unless they hit a land. This isn't a bad thing but I'm not sure if it should be Instant with that in mind. Both Blue and Red do Instant card draw but not normally this efficiently. I'd say either make it a Sorcery or add in an extra {U/R) to the cost. Adding 1 doesn't feel like it would be enough and I kinda value a hybrid as 1.5 with a single colored being worth 2 (hence the {2/C} hybrid).
Something just occurred to me. When Rainbow says "I still can't believe we all just blabbed everything that happened to that reporter", the reason is actually obvious: that's his special talent
3976125
Hmm. Diamond Tiara has made subtle mind control a canonical application of earth pony magic. This is disturbingly feasible.
3967499
Well, I meant to reply on Tuesday and ended up doing it on Friday, so I'd say it works out.
Syncopated Sweeping: Compare Volt Charge. If adding proliferate increases the cost of Searing Spear by one, I see no reason why a limited version of it shouldn't do the same for Demystify.
Philsophical Hoodlums: See here.
Raccoon Squatters: You make a persuasive argument. The adjustment should be up by the time you read this.
Spoon Claws:
images.memes.com/meme/891150
Fabric Quiz: Even against a monocolored deck, you can still hit a land, artifact, or devoid card. Plus, that issue only applies against monocolored decks. It's like saying Deathmark is overpowered because it's a one-mana kill spell.
I've come up with a foolproof way to consolidate the fact that a good chunk of the episodes we've seen do not have Starlight, despite her being Twilight's pupil:
Any episode that does not have Starlight in it takes place before the Cutie Re-Mark.
Though I wish we would see her more often.
3985726
Yeah, that's almost certainly the case. Otherwise, the Crusaders waited months after getting their cutie marks to have their first post-mark meeting. It's just a lot more fun to portray it as Starlight being ontologically unstable.
My concern is on the Doylist level; if the writers don't figure out how to make Starlight blend in better with the rest of the cast, she's never going to feel like an organic part of the show.
3985742 It's cases like this where I wish that the episodes would air in chronological order, or at least leave enough clues so that a clear timeline could at least be figured out...
And then I remember that, due to the show still being Slice of Life, that can be next to impossible.
In regards to Starlight, to be fair:
1. When they do use her, it does feel pretty natural.
2. I don't really think there was much she could do here. Maybe help organize the clothes with Twilight, but that's about it.