Fic recs, February 13th! · 6:18pm Feb 13th, 2016
I was planning to make this be a big catch-up edition, and I suppose it still is, just not what I wanted it to be. I'm hella sick. x.x I just wanna diiiiie. DX
Anyway, Goombasa just uploaded a reading of MidnightDancer’s Blankets!
And today's reviews consist of the usual spate of minifics, plus everything you normally would have gotten from the audiobooks! And my 2900th review! Enjoy. :B
H: 5 R: 8 C: 4 V: 2 N: 1
Six More Weeks by Cold in Gardez
Review #2900!
Genre: Comedy
Yet another winter has been successfully wrapped up, thanks to Twilight Sparkle!
You can probably guess where this story is going from the title. It’s a fun show-tone comedy resulting from the kind of silly things that happened in season one of the show. It’s really a very logical extension of everything we knew about Equestria back then. And for all that the first half is very slice-of-life stuff, this is pretty darn funny overall. :D
Recommended
Can’t Talk. Kittens. by EsleYnopemos
Genre: Slice of Life
There’s a litter of kittens on the way, so why does everypony pick now to bother Fluttershy?
I hate to say it, but if this had been titled “Fluttershy Delivers a Litter of Kittens”, I think I would have enjoyed it more. Instead, I came in expecting cuteness and got, well, a pony doing something. The “lightning-counting party” was interesting, but once I got to the end, my response was a large shrug.
Vaguely Recommended
The End of Modesty by Pascoite
Genre: Poop Fic
A recent cow union strike leaves Applejack without sufficient fertilizer for her crops.
Part of me wants to feel angry — and another part feels only chagrin at that part — that Pascoite writes more stories about pony poop than I do. <.< And, well, this one is where the phrase “fibrous nuggets” originated. I just can’t even.
Recommended If You Find Poop Funny
It Was Actually Wednesday by Wanderer D
Genre: Comedy
Starlight Glimmer finally gets a chance to meet her long-lost friend.
Okay, so, it may not surprise you that this is a one-joke fic based around a movie reference. If you could extrapolate that from the title, then you’ll know where this is going. If you can’t, because you don’t know the joke, it’s quite possibly going to mean this story’s punchline makes no sense. So I don’t know who to recommend this to. I at least got a smile out of it?
Recommended for Laughs
The Most Fearsome Creature in Equestria by Nonagon
Genre: Slice of Life
It took me about ten seconds to read this and a further two minutes to figure it out. And even then, I still feel like I’m missing something. The joke, I guess, is in the title, I’m just not sure what’s going on, I guess.
Recommended as Light Reading
So, last time I did thissome time ago, I reviewed FuzzyFurvert’s Tiny Lesbian Stories: The Skype Chronicles without realizing it was literally part one of a tentwelve-part series. I am now going to correct that oversight. Anyway, this ends up being a pulp-esque serialized trollfic about lesbians. Yes, ‘lesbian’ is still the punchline. Yes, it’s still kinda funny. Twilight and Celestia combine into a super-lesbian or something to defeat evil lesbians like Sunset Shimmer and Nightmare Moon. It’s… if this review isn’t igniting your fancy in the least little way, there’s no hope, you won’t like it. But if you enjoy a good badfic, this one’s pretty ace (the best part is when Pinkie shows up). It is the only Twilestia I will admit to enjoying. This story remains
Troll Recommended
Delaying the Inevitable by HoofAndQuill
Genre: Slice of Life
This is just a short piece about Sweetie Belle pondering what it means to be a Crusader. And I think, even post-Lost Mark, this has something very keen to say about the CMCs and their general motivations. A surprising thing to see, indeed!
Recommended
Being Themselves by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Slice of Life
This is a quick piece about MarbleMac, yet rather than romance, it focuses on, well, something that might be implied by their being very similar. It’s a pretty unique idea, and it ends up super-cute. :D
Recommended
The Longest Sentence by Admiral Biscuit
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Reading by Illya Leonov
Genre: Not What It Seems
Once upon a time, I wrote a 500 word sentence. Admiral Biscuit, fresh off his win in the “shortest shipfic” not-actually-a-contest, read it, whereupon he got the stirrin’s in his loins: write a longer sentence. Thankfully, he took to heart my exhortation that I had not written my original sentence as a challenge to all comers, and instead wrote a short piece based on a play on words. Darned if this isn’t the best-written feghoot I’ve ever encountered and likely the best writing from Biscuit himself. Reading the journal in the author’s note made the ending have a bit more purpose than it initially seemed to, and I’m all around just very pleased by this. :)
Highly Recommended
An Apple a Day by AugieDog
Genre: Limericks
Applejack makes a surprising discovery about her sister.
The limerick is a really great poetic form, perfect for loping words along quickly. Damned if I’m not super-impressed by this thousand-plus-word string of them. (30 individual limericks!) Lope along they do, and also tell a story, in the occasional odd word choice, that is both surprising and heartwarming. Hot on the heels of Delaying the Inevitable above, for all that this is similar, it nevertheless plays out its scenario in quite a fun and heartfelt manner.
Highly Recommended
What Matters by Silvernis
Genre: Conversation
Honestly, I’m not sure what’s going on here. I don’t know what’s implied by the end, and moreover, I’m not sure why or how Daring’s answer is meant to be surprising or revelatory. It’s just kind of an inexplicably second person scene that doesn’t suggest enough on its own.
Vaguely Recommended
The Game the Princesses Play by GhostOfHercalitus
Genre: Comedy
Celestia and Luna play Calvinball.
Yes, it’s a board game, but the point stands: this is Calvinball, and if you know what that means, you will understand this story. I was going to label it a random comedy, but rather than attempt to derive humor from randomness, it is a story where randomness abounds and the humor is derived around it. It bills itself a koan, but honestly the enlightenment feels tacked-on; I rather more enjoyed the futility of an entire body of academia built around being frustrated at trying to figure something out. (That, and it’s pretty long for a koan, in my experience.) Still, this is a wonderful bit of nonsense, with a cameo by Dotted Line, and thus you can be assured that it is Ghost’s trademarked brand of droll bureaucratic humor. Yes, this is quite worth the read, I’d say.
Highly Recommended
Light and Dark by Sharp Spark
Genre: Historical
Canterlot was built on the labor of all ponies, much to the displeasure of some.
This is a quick scene about old prejudices standing in the way of progress. I rather like it. Even more interesting than the stuffy, bigoted Lord Meridian is Luna’s reaction to the whole thing. It paints her in a very intriguing light, and Celestia’s reaction to her reaction is probably the best part of this. Definitely worth it.
Recommended
An Apathetic Apostate by Chris
Genre: Comedy
The time has come for the Princesses of Equestria to fall.
This ultimately doesn’t go anywhere with its main joke (for sure, it could probably go on and on easily enough), but there are quite a few interstitial jokes along the way that are absolutely worth experiencing. They’re the sort you have to double-take at because they slip by so unassumingly; I was mightily impressed. Also, there’s a good bit of epic world-building here and, if I’m not mistaken, some Klingon. <.< What.
Recommended
Banned for a Reason by PaulAsaran
Genre: Historical
An intruder in Star Swirl’s laboratory suggests worse to come.
This story is adorable as fuck. We get to see a tiny babby Luna trying her hardest to cover up exactly why she’s trespassing where she shouldn’t be, while Star Swirl humors her and does his best to figure out the truth. It’s more or less everything I want out of stories like this, and I’m sad it wasn’t published on its own.
Highly Recommended
And here comes the regular stuff!
The Brief, Torrid Love Affair of Fernando the Straw and Madame le Flour by CoffeeMinion
Genre: Crackshipping
I do love a good story about inanimate objects in love, and this is one of the funnier ones. :3 Also, I helped edit it! It’s got a really great melodramatic romance novel style, with all the blushing and heart throbbing that one would expect if these two had circulatory systems. I’ll warn you, there’s some sauciness in the middle (gasp!), and the ending is unexpectedly tragic, but this is absolutely the kind of nonsense I most enjoy reading, and I’m glad to have had a hand in it.
Highly Recommended
Toboggan by Magnum the Critic
Reading by Captain Sand
Genre: Slice of Life
On a snow day, the Cutie Mark Crusaders go tobogganing.
This gets off to a really bad start, describing Apple Bloom as “butter-yellow”, letting us know the pristine snow was untouched, and generally suffering from poor word choices all around. From there, we’re treated to a fairly uninteresting segment of the CMCs going down a hill in the titular toboggan. Also a bizarrely morbid line about them having told no one what they’re doing, so that if anything went wrong, they’d never be found. All I can really say is I zoned way the heck out while listening to this, and when I went back over it, discovered I hadn’t missed much. It’s going for cute, and while it probably succeeds, I don’t find that enough to carry a story.
Not Recommended
Sunset for Sunset by Admiral Biscuit
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Dark EQG
Sunset Shimmer, freshly banished through the mirror, realizes something very important about this world.
“What happened to human Sunset” is a question that’s been asked since the first Equestria Girls movie. The usual, typically snarky answer, suggests that pony Sunset killed her. At the risk of spoilers, I present this story, which treats that idea perfectly seriously. It’s maybe not believable, post-Rainbow Rocks (to say nothing of Friendship Games), but everything sort of fits and I particularly like her plan to lure human Sunset out. Not for everyone, but if you appreciate dark fics, this one’s not bad.
Recommended
Worn Leather by Holy
Reading by VisualPony
Reading by Emogak
Genre: EQG
Sunset Shimmer has no idea what to expect when Rarity invites her out to a fashion shop.
I’m always up for some “humane five bonding with Sunset” time, and this story really delivers on that front. Like That’s All, it deals with the sentiments we attach to objects, albeit without the understated character drama. Still, this is some really good friendshipping, and I believe plays off Sunset’s between-movie wardrobe change. I just found myself enjoying the whole thing without caveat.
Recommended
Celestia Has a Serious Relationship With a Piece of Cake by RainbowBob
Reading (part 1) by Captain Sand
Genre: Joke’s in the Title
This is a series of three stories, unrelated save for genre and theme. From digging around, I believe they were once three separate posts, since been collected in one place. This is vexing, because the second and third installments aren’t nearly as good as the first. The first has all the over-the-top romantic drama you could ask of a story with its title. (And Cakelestia is bestia.) Its second scene perfectly extends the joke, upping the humor by showing a lot more than it tells. That said, the joke gets overplayed by the third scene, not to mention becoming a little gross. The second story, unfortunately, lacks that over-the-top romance, opting instead for pretending like you haven’t read the title and thus don’t know what Twilight’s doing, before segueing into an extended blowjob joke and a rehash of the final two scenes of the first story. The third one is at least more genuinely amusing, but it’s still got the same unfunny running gags, not to mention more distractions like tense shifts. So overall, I’m disappointed, but if you enjoyed reading about Fernando and Madame le Flour above, the first part should get a chuckle out of you.
Recommended for the First Chapter
Gerald Ford Turns Into a Cat by Admiral Biscuit
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: I Don’t Even
Part of me wonders how many people will appreciate jokes made at the expense of Gerald Ford and Nelson D. Rockefeller. The rest takes this story as proof that Admiral Biscuit is a sleeper agent for an alien intelligence hellbent on destroying all life on earth. (Been good knowin’ ya!) As for the actual story, I cannot adequately express my thoughts on it. You’re just gonna have to read it yourself.
Recommended???!?
Hah, another H rating! Pardon me while I preen.
Ah, the coveted Recommended???!? tag! Having the historical perspective[1] to appreciate jokes made about Ford and Rockefeller. I'll have to check this one out.
Along with a lot of the others. Damnit, PP, you're makin' my To-Be-Read list top-heavy!
Hope you get better soon!
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[1] I'm old.
What happened in The Most Fearsome Creature in Equestria is that the Crusaders somehow got Opalescence's toy mouse stuck out of reach in AJ's barn, and now Sweetie Belle has to get it back before Opal disembowels her.
So you like cute things? In that case, I'd love to get your overall opinion of this story.
A glorious, glorious H?!
i137.photobucket.com/albums/q237/FuzzyFurvert/NonPony%20Reaction%20Macros/NonPony%20Gifs/gimme-five_zpsa4472d0a.gif
i137.photobucket.com/albums/q237/FuzzyFurvert/NonPony%20Reaction%20Macros/NonPony%20Gifs/nailed-it_zps69e50e21.gif
I enjoyed Worn Leather, apart from the unexplored point of how Sunset feels about wearing cured animal skin. I'm not saying I couldn't buy her wearing leather, but the story didn't really try to sell it
3751698
Ugh, but the prequel is like 10 billion Fallout: Equestrias long D:
3752015
Given it's never really addressed in the movies either (it's basically given that she doesn't know/care and wears a leather jacket), I didn't feel that was an oversight.
3752265
Is it said in the movies (I don't remember) that her jacket is actual leather? I could've seen it being faux something or other.
One of my favorite genres.
I will accept this with pride.
3752265
Oh, whine. I do state in the description that reading the original story is not necessary to understand this one, do I not? And it's entirely true, the stories barely relate to one another, epilogue aside. Come on, lazybones, pick up those knees!
3752300
Who knows. :B
3752386
I never listen to those kinds of warnings. :B
Thanks for the review, PP (he said, eventually)! That is indeed some Klingon, by the by--or at least, I'm assured by my designated Star Trek Friend that it translates to "Black Flag." I thought the idea of having a "Black Flag of <Black Flag>" was funny, and used Quenya in the writeoff version because that's a language I'm at least vaguely familiar with; Horizon commented that it didn't sound dragon-y enough, so for the FiMFic publication I thought I'd go with something a bit more guttural.
3761686
Okay, that's hilarious.
Huh. I somehow missed this update. Were you able to see the image at the end of the story, tho?
3762384
Actually, not until right now. o.O
3762642 It kinda drives the joke a bit further XD but now I need to write a whole bunch of shorts so you don't catch up!
3762708
NO DON'T DO THAT D: