How Magical Mystery Cure ruined everything

EDIT, BREAKING NEWS: M.A. Larson (writer of Magical Mystery Cure) pretty much confirms everything I'm saying about the episode in this blog.

Complete with such gems as:

"The climax happens in the middle."

"It doesn't make sense structurally."

"That's my problem with what aired, she didn't really earn the wings."

JawJoe: 1
Atheists: 0

Now, onto your scheduled whining blog.

---

Foreword

Here's a fair warning before we go any further: the following is an excessively long rant about an old episode of a children's television show by a grown-ass guy. If you aren't interested in that, feel free to turn back now. If you do decide to read on, then I implore you to stick with me and actually read it.

I've spent the last couple of weeks thinking about Magical Mystery Cure, and why it sits so wrong with me. By now I feel I've cracked it. Explaining it, however, is going to take a while. We're going in, and we're going in deep.

I am tagging I Want to Take the Wings off, but I Can't because if you're tracking that story, you might be interested in the circumstances of its creation -- and that means you might be interested in some of the motivation behind it. That includes my growing frustrations with Twilicorn -- and even more than that, this particular episode.

I don't like Twilicorn. I don't make that a secret. My writing of Wings had a lot to do with that -- I don't make that a secret either. Even so, I didn't write that story to hate Twilicorn. I wrote it because I felt there was a story worth telling.

Throughout this blog I'll be using images and links, sometimes to further hammer a point, more often for comedic effect. Ultimately, their purpose is to break up the gigantic wall of text and help refocus on the actual points being made. If you're on a device that doesn't/can't display images, you should still be able to follow along, although it might be a little more boring.

The writing style will also be a shade of mean and opinionated -- because God damn if I can get through this without feeling bitter. That said, however, I will give the episode an honest critique not just as a fan of the show but as a fan of good stories.

Table of Contents:
Foreword
Introduction
Part 1: Magical Mystery Cure is not a good musical
Part 2: The plot makes no sense at all
Part 3: The production, or how to destroy a good idea
Part 4: The story and lack thereof
Part 5: How Magical Mystery Cure ruined everything

---

Introduction

Magical Mystery Cure ruined everything. It didn't just ruin the show. It ruined everything. It's been like two years since it aired, and you've still got retards complaining about it. It is the absolute most disappointing thing this side of the Milky Way. There will never be anything that surpasses MMC in how much harm it did to the Friendship is Magic franchise. I can say this even though the show isn't even over yet.

What makes MMC so bad? The problem is that the answer involves every single frame in the episode. So strap in, we're in for the long haul. I'm going to dissect this lifeless husk of an episode and pick it apart portion by portion to find out what caused its unseemly demise. That's what this is going to be: more of an autopsy than an analysis. You know it's dead. Best you can do is cut it open and find what killed it.

And now that everyone knows exactly who I'm ripping off here, let's jump right in, shall we?

Twilight says yes.

---

Part 1: Magical Mystery Cure is not a good musical

I feel the need to start with this because possibly the most common praise MMC gets is that the songs are really good. People who criticise this episode are often told that they just don't get it -- that the episode is a "musical" and as such works by different rules than a regular episode.

And I'd have to agree, to a certain point: the songs are good. They're catchy and, in their own way, memorable. Some of them capture some genuine emotion and really fit their scenes. And it's entirely true that musicals are radically different from "simple" movies, with their own sets of rules, their own "dos" and "don'ts." The crucial mistake these people tend to make, though, is they call MMC a good musical when in fact it is a horrible musical -- to the degree where I'm not even sure we should be calling it a musical. Let me explain.

Approximately 10 minutes out of this 22-minutes episode are composed of music and song. That's almost half of its entire runtime! It gets even closer when you chop off the opening and ending credits. For the record, there are 7 songs in the episode:
#1: Morning in Ponyville
#2: What My Cutie Mark Is Telling Me
#3: I've Got To Find A Way (Oh Why?)
#4: A True, True Friend
#5: Celestia's Ballad
#6: Princess Twilight Cometh (Behold...)
#7: Life in Equestria

Contrary to what one might think, the mark of a good musical isn't good songs. I mean, certainly, you can't have a good musical without good songs, but good songs alone don't make a good musical. To paraphrase Joss Whedon, music and song placement in a musical is like the placement of battle scenes in a war movie. You can't sprinkle song and dance wherever you like, have a lot of it, and make a good musical like that. Every song must serve a purpose. Every song must advance the plot, either directly or by characterisation.

Musicals are a very interesting medium. A modern musical will tell a story just as well as a non-musical, but in a radically different way. Music, by nature, focuses on human emotion and internal conflict. As a result, musicals are succinct. A single song can develop the plot or a character in the span of 2-3 minutes that rivals with two or three times as long screentime in a simple movie. Songs become an important tool to shorten and compress the entire story. If done right, it will even increase the dramatic punch the story has rather than reduce it (as opposed to simply cutting a movie to half its length and hoping it works out).

Now, there are other ways and reasons to use a musical format. But one quick look at Magical Mystery Cure reveals that this is exactly what they were going for. They tried to cram as much into as little space as possible. From staff interviews, convention panels, and twitter posts it also becomes clear that they've been meaning to do a musical episode for a while -- and during production of MMC, they realised this one has to be it. For which I commend them: all things considered, "songifying" MMC was an excellent call. The format allowed them to do as much as they could in the shortest possible time.

I want you to remember that this was said in the episode. This is important.

So what went wrong? The problem arises in the execution. In order for a musical like this to work, the songs need connection. Every song must feed into the next. Ideally, you could cut out all of the intervening parts, turn off the screen, and be able to follow the plot just by listening to the songs. Every song needs to have a well-defined purpose and be exactly as long as it needs to be. They must relate to each other such that they, in and of themselves, are able to tell the whole story.

And this is where MMC fails.

I won't claim to be an expert on musicals or cinema. I won't claim to be an expert on anything. Honestly, I'm kind of stupid. But to call upon that one overused -- but no less appropriate -- analogy: one needn't be a cook to tell if the food doesn't taste good. Let's take a look at the songs one by one and see how well they hold up.

#1: Morning in Ponyville
Easily among the worse songs of the episode. Yes, it's catchy. Yes, the scenes are animated well. But that's not what we're looking at. What does this song say? Not much, as it turns out. The whole point of this song is that Twilight lives in Ponyville (riveting new information), and that she's happy (gasp!). It also includes brilliant lyrics such as:

My Ponyville is so gentle and still,
Can things ever go wrong?
I don't think that they will!

It's as if Twilight is suffering from acute amnesia -- if the show is anything to go by, Ponyville is just about the most dangerous place to be. Twilight should know this, since she was there for most (and sometimes even caused) Catastrophes of the Week. You might call this nitpicking, but this is important. These little inconsequential lines set the tone for the episode: confusing at best and flat-out wrong at worst.

Ultimately what we learn from this song is that Twilight enjoys her life in Ponyville -- there is literally nothing else in it. This is something that we already know and as such has no purpose in this episode whatsoever. The song is thankfully short, but even so it manages to come off as useless filler, in an episode where every second counts.

Notice how the song also has nothing to do with what's on screen -- except for the times when, for a lack of anything else to sing about, Twilight points out ponies she sees.

There's the mayor en route to her office,
There's the sofa clerk selling some quills.

You could replace the whole scene with something else entirely and nothing about the song would change. The song doesn't complement the episode. It doesn't click with it at all. It's just there, playing in the background while Twilight does stuff, even though she's the one singing it.

It has no plot relevance whatsoever -- and this, sadly, is a recurring problem.

Twilight, are you just looking at ponies in town and singing about them? Do you really have something to say about the mayor, or are you just singing because you saw her?

#2: What My Cutie Mark Is Telling Me
This one's usually among people's favourites from this episode, and with a good reason. As opposed to Morning in Ponyville, this song has actual plot relevance. I dare say this is the only one to have plot relevance. This song has the least problems overall. The lyrics actually make sense and follow what's happening on screen closely. Even better, the song is descriptive enough that even without looking at the screen you could follow this part of the plot. As such, this is the song that I have the least to say about -- and that's a good thing.

The only real problem with this song is that it's all alone in a sea of bad songs, and it cannot possibly carry the whole episode. If anything, it serves to accentuate the major gap in quality between the good parts of the episode (of which there are few) and the bad (of which there's far too many).

#3: I've Got To Find A Way (Oh Why?)
I started this section by saying that good songs alone don't make a good musical, and this one is exhibit A. Taken on its own, Find A Way is an excellent song. It's a nice change of pace from the show's usual upbeat, "pop" kind of songs. The music is expertly orchestrated and the song is extremely well sung, hitting the exact right notes at the right time. So what's wrong with it?

The answer is placement. Song placement is possibly the most important thing when it comes to musicals, and this song comes at a part of the episode where, quite frankly, it has no place to be. It starts around 6 minutes into the episode -- Cutie Mark ended a bit past the 4 minute mark. In the intervening few seconds, we are treated to a flashback that explains how everyone's cutie marks were changed (Twilight cast Star Swirl's spell). Upon realising what she did wrong, Twilight's immediate reaction is bursting into song about how she cannot help her friends. Spike gives her a few possible solutions, each of which Twilight dismisses with little more explanation than "it wouldn't work because it wouldn't work."

Spike: So just cast a counter-spell to switch them back.
Twilight Sparkle: There is no counter-spell!
Spike: Why don't you just use that memory spell you used to fix everypony when Discord was here?
Twilight Sparkle: It's not their memories, Spike. It's their true selves that have been altered!
Spike: Zecora's cure for the cutie pox?
Twilight Sparkle: That won't work either!

This whole exchange -- I checked -- takes the grand total of 15 seconds. After this, Twilight walks up into her room, and this song starts.

And it doesn't work. This song is supposed to convey a sense of hopelessness, yet as Twilight is singing about how everything is ruined forever, the viewer is still screaming at the screen going "You haven't even tried to fix it!"

This song would've worked much better if Twilight was given the opportunity to actually try different solutions to the problem, growing increasingly desperate, only to fail at every turn. The audience would get to feel and share Twilight's hopelessness, giving this song much more weight. Due to time constraints, however, we never get to see this, which causes this song to completely fall flat.

As this song plays, you look at the time bar under the video and realise there's still 15 minutes left in the episode -- it's a bit early to lose all hope. This causes an emotional disparity between what the audience feels and what Twilight feels, depriving the scene of all its intended impact. It makes you uncomfortable, but for all the wrong reasons. You know you're supposed to feel sad for Twilight, but you don't because her sadness had no buildup.

Another big issue with it is that it has hardly any pony in it. It is an excellent song, but ultimately, it's about being sad. In this episode, it fails because of its lack of buildup -- and because it has nothing to do with what's going on screen. It's a very slow, short little song where a character sings about being sad, and that's it. You could cut it out of the show and paste it into almost any musical ever, and it would make just as much sense. I consider that a weakness.

Once the song finishes, it takes Twilight -- again, I checked -- 25 seconds to go from "there is no way to fix this!" to "I know exactly how to fix this," completely disintegrating any shred of emotion the song may have managed to evoke.

All in all, this is a great song, but as it is -- where it is -- it would've served the episode better if it had been omitted entirely. Rather than advancing the plot, this song is actually holding it back. And it's a damn shame about it, too.

#4: A True, True Friend
Possibly the most beloved song of the bunch. It's the episode's emotional climax where everything gets fixed. It's loud, it's bombastic, it's upbeat, it's catchy as all get-out -- and it's got to be the most trite, unimaginative schlock that's ever come out of this show.

Not counting this.

I know a lot of people like this song, but have you ever taken the time to actually listen to it? The lyrics are completely devoid of meaning.

A true, true friend helps a friend in need,
A friend will be there to help you see,
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
To see the light that shines from a true, true friend.

What the fuck does that even mean? What the devil is this "light" that apparently "shines" from people (but only from true, true friends)? What's the difference between a friend, a true friend, and a true, true friend?

I mean, there was the one time where Twilight was literally glowing, but she ain't doing that during the song. And if she did, it would be stupid.

So the song is supposed to be about friends helping friends realise who they really are. So that's like... friend A helps friend B to see what's inside friend B. But then B is supposed to see the light that apparently shines from A. Is it because A is such an amazing person? Or is A helping B see the light that shines from A and that light helps B see what's inside B? Or is A helping B see the light that shines from C?

This is the episode telling you to turn your brain off and enjoy the rhythm. 'Cause you wouldn't enjoy the lyrics, that's for sure.

What even is this light? Is it like a metaphorical thing? What does it represent? The bonds of friendship? Being a good friend? Being a good person? Being an inspiration? It sounds strangely aggrandising. I remember a song that had similar lyrics, actually...

"I'll be king, undisputed, respected, saluted, and seen for the wonder I am!"

And it wasn't sung out of friendship.

It is the longest song of the episode, taking up 3 and a half minutes (that's about 1/6th of the entire episode!), and the vast majority of its runtime is wasted on a chorus that makes no sense at all. The intervening parts, where Twilight goes around town collecting her friends one by one -- you know, the parts that actually advance the plot -- those parts work, but they are dreadfully short and are entirely overshadowed by the chorus.

This song is the entire climax of the episode: the part where the episode's big conflict gets resolved. It's a blast to watch, but only as long as you don't think for a split second. If you start thinking about the lyrics or what you're even seeing on screen, your head starts to hurt. It's a mess. A waste of running time, and a waste of a good song that could have potentially been put in this one's place -- a song that isn't composed of 70% filler.

Another example of a song that can be enjoyed as a stand-alone, meaningless pop song, but doesn't work in a musical -- at least not in this one.

#5: Celestia's Ballad
Another slower song, and the first time Celestia sings in the show. Much like Cutie Mark, this one is actually where it needs to be (plot-wise, it really couldn't be anywhere else) and actually does what it's supposed to do. One of the high points of the episode.

The big problem with it is that by this point in the episode the plot has got bored of itself. The central conflict -- Twilight fixing the spell -- has been resolved, and we had a long, exhausting climax (True, True Friend). One has to wonder what Ballad is supposed to be. It's not the climax -- we've had that already. It's not the dénouement -- there's still around 7 minutes left in the episode.

I'll tell you what it is: it's exposition. The worst kind of lazy, last-minute exposition, disguised as a heartfelt song. We are 70% done with the episode (in other words, we are 97.5% done with the season), and only now do we get exposition regarding Twilight's ascension -- stuff we've never even heard about before. This is a serious problem, one that I'll look at in later sections of this analysis autopsy.

The point is that Ballad is another great song overshadowed by the stupidity of the episode it's in -- just like Cutie Mark.

#6: Princess Twilight Cometh (Behold...)
Nothing but filler. Barely 30 seconds long. More background music than anything. Its only purpose is to be a segue between two scenes. Fairly unobtrusive, nothing to get hung up on.

#7: Life in Equestria
This song needs to decide what it's trying to do. For one thing, it's supposed to bookend the episode (being a reprise of Morning in Ponyville). It's also intended to be the proper dénouement to the episode, where everything falls into place and everyone's happy. But it's also trying to be a cliffhanger and in itself a segue into the next season (skipping Equestria Girls because seriously, fuck Equestria Girls).

At this point the audience is still completely lost as to what we've just witnessed. We cheer Twilight on because it's kind of our job, but really we're scratching our heads. The songs were fun to listen to, but most were pointless and/or meaningless. They were no help at all in piecing together whatever just happened.

Do I feel happy about this? Twilight's happy, I guess I should be too. But wait, how did that happen? What was that spell about? And what was Celestia doing there? ...well, I guess it was all magic. That makes sense. I suppose. But wait, what was that about when... and hold on, what's up with that cliffhanger? "Everything's going to be fine?" Twilight, have you forgotten every single season opener? You're begging for shit to happen there.

Yeah, I bet you do.

In conclusion:
The songs do far too little for the actual episode to be worth their combined time. Out of 7 songs, only one really advances the plot (Cutie Mark), one tries to help but is far too little and for too late (Ballad), one just awkwardly hangs there trying to hide the fact it doesn't belong (Find A Way), and one gets worse the more you think about it (Friend). That's 4 out of 7 songs even worth mentioning. The other 3 are truly, completely useless filler. There is no connective tissue between the songs (Find A Way being the most egregious example) -- they all just happen one after the other. So long as you keep Cutie Mark and Ballad in their places, you could reasonably rearrange the songs in any order and have the episode make just as much sense (which is none).

Now, it's okay to like any number of these songs. It's fine to listen to them in a playlist. But I challenge anybody to actually put together what transpired purely by listening to the songs. Then again, I'm kind of cheating there: it's nearly impossible to put together what happened even if you watched the episode. The songs simply do so little, they might as well not be there.

Magical Mystery Cure is a collection of catchy songs.
Magical Mystery Cure is not a good musical.

---

Part 2: The plot makes no sense at all

So that we're all on the same page, "plot" in this blog refers to the sequence of events as they happen in the episode.

Throughout this autopsy I have referred, and will continue to refer to "Twilight fixing Star Swirl's spell" as the central conflict of the episode. Most of the plot revolves around that plot point. As such, it is crucial that we understand the spell itself, how it works, and how it went wrong when Twilight miscast it in the beginning. In order for us to get invested, in order to sympathise with our protagonist, we need to understand her plight. And that means understanding Star Swirl's spell -- the quality of the plot is measured by the audience's ability to understand the spell.

Understanding Star Swirl's spell
When I say that the plot makes no sense at all, I really mean that Star Swirl's spell makes no sense at all.

"But JawJoe," I hear you cry, "it's magic! It's not supposed to make sense."

If you really think that magic as a plot device doesn't need to make sense in order to tell a good story, then sit back and be quiet 'cause I'm about to learn you a thing. There are certainly examples of magic used in stories with the express purpose of not making sense. The most commonly known example is probably Lovecraft's work: he told stories about eldritch abominations that are beyond what a human mind can comprehend. His stories included monsters so outside of rationality that one could go mad just by looking at them.

Most of these monsters actively break the laws of physics as we understand them. They exist outside of thermodynamics, they ignore our knowledge of how beings of immense size move and live (body mass is no joke, yet Cthulhu laughs right in its face). There are beings in the Lovecraft Mythos that use wing-like appendages to swim through the aether between planets -- the existence of such material was still debated in Lovecraft's time, but is (almost) universally dismissed today.

The problem comes down to semantics: it would be safe to say that Lovecraft's monsters make "no sense." What one must understand, however, is that being incomprehensible was the point of Lovecraft's stories. All the reader had to understand was that these are unfathomable -- and that is very easy to comprehend. Lovecraft needed only say that these things are beyond our understanding, and the reader would go on to enjoy the story in that knowledge. Being incomprehensible made the story on the whole easy to understand.

Something makes me doubt the creators were going for Lovecraftian subtext.

Magical Mystery Cure is all about Twilight figuring out and fixing Star Swirl's spell. To be able to root for her, the audience must understand her problem. In order to be happy for her when she triumphs, the audience must understand how she overcame the obstacle. And that means understanding the spell, understanding how it went wrong in the first place, how Twilight was able to fix it, and what the effect of the fixed spell was.

Perhaps comparing My Little Pony to Lovecraft was reaching -- so let's pick something closer to home. I'm going to compare Star Swirl's spell to Discord's magic in Return of Harmony.

Oh yeah, Rainbow. You lick that hoof. Mmm.

For instance, Discord turned the clouds above Ponyville (and possibly elsewhere) into cotton candy. That's about as nonsensical as it gets -- fitting for the embodiment of chaos. But did you see what I did there? I explained what Discord did in a single sentence. Discord turned the clouds into cotton candy. Nonsense? Yes. Easy to understand? Oh yes. All I needed to do was look at the screen and describe what was happening before my eyes.

The same cannot be done with Star Swirl's spell. Trying to describe what you see will inevitably result in a contradiction. For that reason, the spell isn't really comparable to Discord's magic. A more apt comparison would be if Discord turned the clouds into cotton candy, but without turning the clouds into cotton candy.

Wait, what? What's going on? I don't get it.

Star Swirl's spell defies human understanding
In this section I'm going to approach the spell from multiple different angles, trying to find a hold on it and understand what exactly happened in the episode. I am going to fail at every turn.

To kick this off, let's take everything at face value. We believe everything we see and everything we are told. This is most likely the way the creators intended. So let's see what we know about Star Swirl's spell:
-It affects ponies' destinies somehow.
-It only affects the mane 5 (that's the usual mane 6 minus Twilight): we are explicitly shown the spell acting through the Elements of Harmony.
-It rewrote the "true selves" of the mane 5, not their memories.

It's not their memories, Spike. It's their true selves that have been altered!

-Star Swirl made it.

We are never explicitly shown or told what the spell was actually meant to do -- not when Twilight miscasts it, and not even after she's fixed it. Best we can do is infer from what we see and what we're told.

#1 Let's take it from the top:
-Twilight casts the spell for the first time.
-The spell changes the ponies' "true selves." This changed the mane 5's cutie marks and made them do things related to their new marks.
-They proceed to ruin Ponyville.
Contradiction: why doesn't any of them realise that they're not supposed to be doing this? Rainbow was a weathermare yesterday, but suddenly she's caring for animals? They all explicitly point out their new cutie marks, yet none of them realise that they had different ones all their lives.
Resolving the contradiction: the spell changed their "true selves" ("destinies") and their memories. That one sentence could certainly have been phrased better.

#2 Okay, so again:
-Twilight casts the spell.
-The spell rewrites the mane 5's destinies as well as their memories. They go on about their day doing their new thing.
-They proceed to ruin Ponyville.
Contradiction: So they don't realise that they're not who they were a day ago because their minds and entire outlook on life has been changed. Why doesn't anybody else tell them, though? Is there really nobody in town that needs dresses that day? "Excuse me, Applejack, but where is Rarity? She makes the dresses. Don't you work at the farm?" Doesn't the Apple Family notice (or care) that Pinkie replaced AJ? For that matter, why don't the other weatherponies tell Rarity that she doesn't work there, and she's doing a horrible job anyway? Where are all the other weatherponies, anyway? They were flying about by the dozens at the start of this very episode. Where did they go? Why don't they fix the serious harm Rarity is doing?

I did not count if there are actually literally dozens of them.

Resolution: Maybe the spell didn't only affect the mane 5, but everyone else as well, so that their memories have too been altered in accordance with the changes.
This raises the question: why is Twilight the only one unaffected, when everyone else in town was affected? Since she cast the spell in the first place, maybe that makes her special and immune. This is pure speculation as this issue is never addressed in the episode.

#3 Alright, let's try again:
-Twilight casts the spell.
-The spell alters the mane 5's destinies, memories, and the memories of everyone else as well.
-They proceed to ruin Ponyville.
Contradiction: Wait, did they just ruin Ponyville in a single morning? Let's assume Applejack is so atrociously bad at dressmaking that she completely, utterly ruins the Carousel Boutique business in a matter of hours. I mean, have you seen those dresses? But what about everyone else? We are explicitly shown that everyone in town is all grumpy because Pinkie isn't there to cheer them up. It's difficult to believe that Ponyville's population is really so dependent on Pinkie as to be unable to go a morning without a party. We are explicitly shown that Sweet Apple Acres is dying from a lack of care. Nevermind the sheer incompetence this showcases in the remaining Apple family. Trees simply don't die that quickly.
Resolution: Star Swirl's spell didn't only rewrite destiny and memories, but it retroactively rewrote the entire timeline as well to be in line with the changes.

Time paradoxes. You know, for kids!

#4 It's about time we get this working
-Twilight casts the spell.
-The spell rewrites time, destiny, and memories (except the memories of Twilight).
Contradiction: in this new timeline, how did Twilight ever get to the point where she cast Star Swirl's spell to begin with? Considering how radically the mane 5 changed, and how much they seem to hate their own lives now, it's reasonable to assume that they couldn't overcome all the trials they did in the original timeline, meaning Twilight never got to where she is, and Nightmare Moon probably destroyed the world in episode 1.
Resolution: none. We have to ignore this for the plot to proceed.
-They proceed to ruin Ponyville. At least this makes sense now, ignoring time-related shenanigans. And it only took 4 tries.
-Twilight proceeds to fix her friends one by one.
Contradiction: we are shown that by the end of the episode, Status Quo is restored: AJ has always worked on the farm, Rarity always made dresses, Pinkie always threw parties, etc.. We also see that Twilight fixes her friends one by one. This open another jar of worms (or butterflies, as it were).
Twilight starts by fixing Fluttershy. Fluttershy regains her cutie mark and her memories -- her destiny. By regaining her destiny, her portion of the timeline is also supposed to be fixed, meaning that she always took care of animals around Ponyville. So what's Rainbow been doing all this time? She couldn't have been the animal-caretaker-pony-person because the town already had one. How did she end up in this situation, then?

If history abhors a paradox, your existence should've been erased by now. Sorry.

This effect cascades further with every friend Twilight fixes. Twilight fixes Rarity before fixing Applejack. That means Rarity ran the Boutique, which means it never went out of business, which means AJ never had to board it up. So why is it still boarded up? What's AJ even doing here? She's supposed to be working on the farm, yet the farm is still dying when they get there to retrieve Pinkie.

Resolution: Well duh, the spell doesn't in fact rewrite time. Juggling multiple time-lines would be far too complicated for a show aimed at children aged 5 to 8. ...No, no, wait. If the spell doesn't rewrite time, then we couldn't even get here through a logical course of events to begin with. So the spell has to rewrite time. Sorry, kids.
Alternate resolution: Maybe the spell rewrites time, but as Twilight goes around fixing her friends one by one, the timeline reshuffles itself very, very smoothly so that we don't notice it happening.

#5 Time is, after all, not a linear progression of cause to effect. In actuality it is more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.
-Twilight casts the spell.
-The spell does whatever the fuck it does, I don't even know any more.
-The mane 5 proceeds to ruin Ponyville.
-Twilight proceeds to fix them (and the timeline) one by one.
So if you're still following, we've established that time has been rewritten, and Twilight must fix it by fixing every pony the spell affected.

Every. Single. One.

Contradiction: Everyone in Ponyville has been affected by the spell. Following the episode's logic so far, Twilight has to fix them all, one by one. She doesn't.

And this is where the spell finally breaks down beyond repair.

Resolution: Okay, so maybe the spell doesn't rewrite time, it just turns everybody into assholes who enjoy watching ponies suffer, and that's why nobody says anything to the mane 5 about not doing what they're supposed to do. But wait, Rarity is causing actual bodily harm. Surely they'd say something about that.

I'm in love with weather patterns, but the others have concerns,
For I just gave them frostbite over top of their sunburns.

For that matter, if their "true selves" have been altered, why is Rarity the only one showing any kind of enjoyment in what she's doing (despite being bad at it)?

And if you don't see the obvious horror in all these ponies feeling compelled to keep doing something they hate just because their ass tattoos tell them so, then get out of my face.

And again, how did Ponyville go to shit in a single morning?

Hey, remember how Pinkie throws parties in her spare time, but she also works at Sugarcube Corner? Well surely she can't work on the farm and work in the restaurant. Which means that the Cakes are either doing business without an extra pair of hands (hooves) this time around, or that they hired someone else to fulfil Pinkie's job. But when Pinkie gets her destiny back, that means she also gets her old job back, which means the cakes would have to fire whoever was in her place, which is very unfortunate for a supposedly uplifting story.

Okay so wait, why is everyone else being affected, anyway? The episode goes out of its way to show that the spell was fired through the Elements, and thus it affected Twilight's friends, but mysteriously not Twilight. Why doesn't anybody notice when--

Perhaps the spell rewrote memories. But Twilight explicitly states that's not the case.

Maaaybe it did rewrite time, but then--

But if it didn't, then--

I'm so confused.

All right JawJoe, we get it already
There is one very simple way to resolve all of the problems with Star Swirl's spell: ignoring every single one of them. Since the episode would flat-out not function without the spell, let's do just that. The spell did whatever it did. Stuff happened. Twilight fixed everything, and everyone's okay again. Great!

I may sound sarcastic there, but I'm being honest, at least partially. When you get right down to it, the show has always had a thing for Deus Ex Machina, plot points that don't always make sense, and characters behaving oddly or irrationally in order to advance the plot. Magical Mystery Cure isn't unique in this regard -- and all of this has never stopped the show from telling coherent, compelling stories.

Everything so far has been nitpicking. There were numerous nits to pick, I mean, far more than there are usually -- but it's still just nitpicking. The unfortunate reality is that MMC, unlike other episodes, only gets worse.

It's like diarrhoea: the shit just keeps coming.

The real problems with Magical Mystery Cure arise at around the 14-minute mark, when Twilight fixes the spell.

There is zero narrative coherence
If the "plot" is the sequence of events that happen, then "narrative" in our case is the way those events are connected to one another. The coherence of the narrative refers to the quality of the connection between separate plot points.

Magical Mystery Cure can be divided into two separate episodes that have nothing to do with each other. And no, I'm not saying it should've been a two-parter, shut up. What I'm saying is that there's a clear divide between the events that happen before Twilight fixes the spell and the events that happen afterwards.

Namely, everything after Twilight casts Star Swirl's spell for the second time is one big non-sequitur. The exact meaning of that latin phrase describes the fixed spell perfectly: it does not follow from what we've been shown or told so far.

Remember that we are never, at any point in the episode -- or the show, even -- told what Star Swirl's spell does, how it was made, and what its purpose was. All we know is that Star Swirl made it but couldn't finish it, and when it worked, it made Twilight grow wings. Some vague destiny-related ideas can be inferred from Magical Mystery Cure, but it's all speculation because the show never bloody tells us.

So we are left to assume that the spell's purpose is "fulfilling" the destiny of whoever casts it.

From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled.

The problem is that you could replace the first 15 minutes of the episode with anything, and still have the exact same ending. There is no connection between the the first 15 minutes and the remaining time. The broken spell, by virtue of being magic, could've done literally anything, and the fixed spell could still give Twilight wings.

From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!

I mean, there's something in there about Twilight having to realise how much her friends mean to her.

Except we've already had that.

Multiple times, in fact.

It's like, kinda her thing.

You could construct any kind of plot that comes back to Twilight realising that friendship is magic (which is every episode ever), and have the ending of Magical Mystery Cure make exactly as much sense (which is none).

At this point we have to examine what the spell, once fixed, actually does. Remember the Discord comparison: we are going to look at the screen and describe what we see. Doing that, we find out that what this spell, Star Swirl's masterpiece that even he couldn't finish, the spell that took over a thousand years to complete, the spell that required the most brilliant mind in all of Equestria to finally work, what this spell does is... make you grow wings.

It's basically Red Bull in spell form.

Truly an extraordinary feat.

We are left to assume that the spell does not, in fact, make you grow wings, but "unlocks your destiny," however vague that sounds. Which means that Twilight's grand destiny was growing wings.

One must understand that Twilight didn't become a princess because of Star Swirl's spell. It's already been established in canon that the titles of prince, princess, etc. are all very much political things. That means they're decided by people (ponies).

Strange mares swimming in the aether distributing spellbooks is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical magical ceremony.

We've also established that having wings -- or even a horn -- isn't a prerequisite of holding political power.

Hey, anyone still remember Prince Blueblood? He's a thing.

Based on what we know about Equestrian politics (which is admittedly not much), it's safe to assume that Princess Celestia has the ultimate -- if not the only -- say in who gets to hold what position. It becomes blatantly obvious that the spell, or even destiny, didn't make Twilight a princess. Celestia did.

Which immediately raises two questions: why? and why now?

Fixing Star Swirl's spell proves that Twilight is good with magic. But after she friggin' reversed gravity in an earlier episode, it is highly doubtful that Celestia needed a confirmation of that. So why wait with crowning Twilight until she fixed this spell?

And the more important question, why do this at all? At what point has Twilight demonstrated a desire to become a princess? Not making that point because rabid Twilicorn fans don't care about consent. (Not saying no is not consent.)

The more important matter is why, from Celestia's perspective, it was imperative that Twilight becomes a princess? Or, if you really want to stretch the destiny interpretation, why did destiny make Twilight into an alicorn princess?

Destiny doesn't know what it's doing
Let's be honest. It's been blatantly obvious since episode 1 that Twilight is the Chosen One.

Note the big crown thingy.

Although the show has done a good job of making each of the mane 6 roughly equally important, it's apparent that Twilight is, and has always been, the main character. The main mane, as'twere.

She's always been destined to do great things. She was Celestia's personal student and the leader of the mane 6. There is the whole Sun, Moon, and stars imagery going on with Celestia, Luna and Twilight. Over the course of the show, Twilight's become easily one of the -- if not the -- most powerful unicorns in Equestria.

Twilight becoming an alicorn is not a new idea. We've had fanart of that since day one. Really, Alicorn Twilight was one of the best ideas ever. It's just so wicked cool, and the ultimate powerup. I don't think there was a single person in the fandom who didn't see it coming.

So what's the problem with Magical Mystery Cure? The answer the lack of buildup. Some vague foreshadowing in a few episodes sprinkled throughout three seasons is not buildup. It is foreshadowing. Even in the episode itself, Twilight's "alicornification" comes out of nowhere. There is never, at any point, any indication that something like this can even happen, much less that it's happening right now.

"You have to be this tall to be a princess."

Remember when I talked about Celestia's ballad, and said that it's the worst kind of exposition there is? Because it is. It's as if the creators of the episode realised in the last second that we've never heard of something like this happening. We've never seen anything that even remotely suggested that this is going to happen, and even while it's happening, we still don't know why it's happening. Because nothing about Star Swirl's spell makes any God damn sense.

So they figured, hey, let's throw in Celestia. And have her sing about destiny and stuff. That'll explain it! Right?

No.

What they failed to understand was that chosen ones are chosen for a reason. It's storytelling 101: destiny has a direction and a purpose. Neo saved humanity from the Matrix. Harry Potter was destined to defeat Voldemort. Anakin Skywalker was meant to defeat the Emperor and thus bring balance to the force.

And you know it's bad when the friggin' Star Wars prequels handled something better than Magical Mystery Cure.

So what's Twilight's grand destiny? Why did she have to grow wings? Why did she have to become a princess? What is her ultimate purpose, the thing that 3 seasons have been building up towards?

The answer is nothing. Literally nothing. Since there's never been any indication that this needed to happen before (or during) Magical Mystery Cure, we have to cheat and look into the future. After Magical Mystery Cure, the show proceeded to spend an entire season showcasing that Twilight's "ascension" was entirely pointless. We spend the season seeing Twilight insist that nothing changed at all. The S4 finale went out of its way to show that Princess Twilight, even with all the other princesses' powers combined, could not defeat Tirek.

We have a sequence where Twilight once again realises that real strength comes from the power of friendship. The Mane 6, all together, use the magic of friendship to defeat Tirek.

The explicit message being that Twilight's alicorn powers fail where good old friendship lazers win.

We had a whole song dedicated to Twilicorn being pointless.

So what's the point? Twilight's destiny was to grow wings, but for what? Nowhere in the series, ever, at any point, are we shown that Equestria needs a new princess, and that princess has to be Twilight. Nobody doubts Twilight's ability to make a good princess, but her purpose. Twilight is a Chosen One without anything to be chosen for.

This retroactively makes the preceding episode pointless -- it would even if the plot had made sense. Why did we spend 15 minutes getting emotionally invested in an episode whose ending bears no relation to anything that came before it, and doesn't affect anything that comes after it?

It shows Celestia as being an incompetent buffoon: she groomed Twilight all her life for a big fat load of nothing. It completely disintegrates all the story-telling potential that was behind Twilight's studies: we are shown that everything she's ever worked for amounted, effectively, to a pair of wings (that she was fine without) and a title (that doesn't mean anything). One day Twilight fixed a spell, and now she's a princess. The end.

There's no heroic tale to be told; no grand destiny; no struggle; it just happens.

Now, of course, it's entirely possible to write a story about destiny being pointless, or even harmful. It's a genre in and of itself, ripe with opportunities to explore the human psyche, the nature of free will and destiny, and whether fate is ultimately something we need, invented, or entirely nonexistent.

The subject can be approached from a point of science (fundamental randomness -- exemptions from cause and effect, and thereby any possible "destiny" or determinism -- is the entire point of quantum mechanics, for instance), a point of religion, faith, psychology, and more than I could possibly conceive.

But again, it's unlikely that this was intended to be an exploration of the nature of free will in a world guided by a predetermined destiny.

The difference is that in Friendship is Magic, destiny is portrayed as a benevolent force. It couldn't be any other way: it's a little girls' show, intended to have uplifting outcomes and simple, family-friendly messages. Magical Mystery Cure was intended to be a story about destiny being a good thing, about being rewarded for doing good deeds, and finding ultimate happiness in your life.

However, due to the myriad problems in plot and narrative, that message is muddled by the audience's sheer confusion and the readily apparent pointlessness of Twilight's ascension. It's a broken aesop; it shows that your destiny will cause distress at worst and will amount to nothing at best.

In conclusion:
Magical Mystery Cure failed because of multiple reasons.
-Star Swirl's spell cannot be rationally understood; the only option is to ignore several blatant plotholes.
-The purpose of Star Swirl's spell is never stated; the audience is left in a constant state of guessing.
-Everything that happens after Twilight fixes the spell comes completely out of the blue; there is no buildup in the episode, or in the season, or even in the whole show.
-And most importantly, because Twilight's ascension is completely pointless; we are robbed of the excellent story that could've been told. Instead we get a couple of catchy songs.

It's almost like the show creators didn't plan on having this happen. As if it had been thrust on them out of the blue and they were forced to make something out of it.

Something makes me feel this was a mandate. Like from a higher power. Like there's something that controls the show's creators. Some kind of diabolical force that cares little for the health of the show -- something that cares only for how it can get its dirty tentacles on more money. Wait, what's that, right there, just over the horizon? Could it be—

"Tremble, mortals, and despair. Doom has come to this world."

---

Part 3: The production, or how to destroy a good idea

Okay, so Magical Mystery Cure is a bad episode. But Twilicorn was a great idea, ripe with potential -- so what went wrong? To answer that, we have to look into how the episode was made. I should put up a warning here: the following section is based on the little scraps of information that we are able to piece together from staff interviews, convention panels, tweets, etc.. While we don't have all the pieces of the puzzle, what we do have reveal a disturbing picture.

To start off, season 3 was only 13 episodes long -- half as long as all the others. There were probably multiple reasons for this. Firstly, because with a 13-episode season, MLP:FiM could reach 65 episodes (26+26+13), which was most likely the original target when the show was first conceived. Why 65? Because a show must have 65 episodes to be legally syndicated. Another reason was probably the creation of Equestria Girls, which ate up the time and resources of the show staff.

Further proving that Equestria Girls is the worst thing in existence, if not the most disappointing (because MMC already exists).

All of that is to say: Twilight becoming a princess is a huge change in the series. There's no way around that. It's the culmination of 3 seasons worth of story and a major alteration to the status quo. It was therefore important to handle it with impeccable care. Spoilers: that didn't happen. If you slow down the footage, you can actually pinpoint the exact moment that Lauren Faust's dream of a girl's show worth watching dies.

Ah, there it is.

How did they manage to fuck up something as simple as My Little Pony so royally? The devil, as they say, is in the details. As season 3 was only half the length of other seasons, the creators had to be extremely careful about episode placement and story development.

Instead they added some crucial Spike episodes.

Magical Mystery Cure itself is the product of extremely rushed production. From various sources (like the old Unicon staff panel, if memory serves), we can deduce that MMC was intended to be a two-parter episode. And it makes sense, right? Two-parters have always been the episodes where important plot development takes place, and it would've been fitting for something as big as Twilicorn to happen in such an episode as well. But then, Lord only knows why, it was decided that Magical Mystery Cure was going to be a one-part episode after all. The only, teensy-tiny problem was that M.A. Larson had already finished the script for a two-parter.

But wait, there's more...

"Alrighty," said M.A. Larson, probably. "I can totally handle this." What he didn't expect was that MMC wasn't just cut from two episodes to a single episode; it was also decided to be a musical. Which, as we've discussed, isn't a bad idea in and of itself. Not until you realise that M.A. Larson, the episode's writer, is a writer, not a songwriter.

So Larson had to cut down his script not once, but twice: first to make it fit a single episode, then to fit it into a musical. The ball (well, the script) was then passed to everyone's favourite pony-music-maker-person: Daniel Ingram. You know, the guy who brought us This Day Aria and its genius deceptive cadence? Giving him a musical episode sounds like a great idea. Until you realise that Ingram is a songwriter, not a writer.

It never ends, this shit.

One must also remember that this was the 65th episode of the series. This meant this could very easily have been the last episode ever. The writers knew Hasbro originally commissioned 65 episodes total, with whether they'll continue past that point up in the air. The problem was that even as season 3 was being developed, and even as MMC was being written, the writers still haven't been told what the fate of the series was going to be.

They didn't just have to gruellingly rewrite the entire episode several times -- they had to do it while not even knowing where the series was going, if it was headed anywhere at all. They had to make it a happy ending. But they also had to make it a cliffhanger. They had to tie up loose ends. But they also had to leave several hanging in case the story were to continue. There were still a lot of unanswered questions (particularly those raised by this nonsensical episode) which they didn't have the time to answer.

This is why Celestia's Ballad, while beautifully sung, ultimately falls short: it's a song that pretends to have answers while in fact giving none. And remember when I said that Life In Equestria needed to decide what it was doing? This is why. Even the writers didn't know what they were going for.

The ultimate result is a gigantic clusterfuck of an episode where nothing makes sense.

This is not Twilight speaking. This is the writers speaking.

So what are you trying to say, JawJoe?
Based on the above, you might think I'm trying to argue that MMC should have been a two-parter episode. It's a criticism oft levelled at MMC: the pacing was bad, the plot was rushed, but being a two-parter would've fixed it. The unfortunate reality, however, is that not even being the best damn two-parter the show has ever seen would have fixed Magical Mystery Cure. A one-part episode would've been just fine if handled properly.

MMC isn't just broken. "Broken" implies you can pick it up and fix it with some duct tape and WD-40. No, MMC isn't broken. Or rather, it isn't just broken. A more appropriate term for MMC is rotten. It's a withering, dying plant. You can't cut it off to fix it. You have to pull it up by the root, examine what's wrong with the soil, and plant something else in its place.

Yes, the episode is rushed. Yes, the plot is broken. But there was no way for it not to be broken. You put this beautiful statuette on a cracked shelf, which proceeded to collapse under its weight. And by shelf, I mean season. And by collapse, I mean fail to do what it should have done.

I realise, of course, that nothing I say will ever change what happened. It doesn't matter what I think should have been done. I'm not in a position to make that kind of decisions, and I definitely cannot go back in time to alter how things turned out.

But here's what I think anyway.

What should've been done
It's abundantly clear that, for whatever reason, the writers hadn't put any thought into why Twilight became a princess. If they had an answer to give, it would've been in the episode. But let's give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they did indeed know what they were doing (they didn't). Since there is no indication of their plans in MMC or anywhere prior, we're going to cheat a bit again and look forward into season 4.

Although, on a second thought, maybe we shouldn't look. It's a silly season.

Season 4 is not without its fair share of problems -- among them is its absolute refusal to do anything with Princess Twilight. But if you watch to the very end, you will once again be treated to a last-minute pseudo-explanation that had never been hinted at before. Namely, in the final minutes of this 26-episode season, Twilight finally gets something to do as a princess: her task is to travel the land and help ponies where friendship is scarce.

I'm more than willing to ignore how asinine that sounds, given that this is Rainbow Horse Land. The entire premise of the series was about a magic student learning about the values of friendship -- I'm not opposed to silly premises. In fact, the show has demonstrated, throughout seasons 1 and 2, that it's perfectly capable of creating something worth watching from a childish-sounding premise. So you know, "magical princess spreading friendship" isn't necessarily bad.

I'm also setting aside the fact that Twilight didn't need to be a princess to do this. I'm not setting it aside because I want to -- it's stupid -- but because I have to in order to enjoy the show. A willing suspension of disbelief, if you will. I'm prepared to make that sacrifice if it means getting a good story in return.

The problem, again, is the lack of buildup. We've never been shown that there are places in Equestria that are so seriously devoid of "friendship" that it needs a magical princess to fix it. Why are there such places? Why do they need a princess? Where are these places, and who are these ponies? I've never heard about them before! Are you sure Twilight is the right pony for this?

The show had the perfect opportunity to introduce these concepts and answer all of these questions in season 3. Assuming that the writers had a plan (they didn't), they should have made this the central theme of season 3. The show has done season-long story arcs before: remember the "Grand Galloping Gala" arc in S1, the diary in S4, or just look at Discord's arc through S2-3-4. They even tried to do something in S3 itself, with the book being present in S03E02. It's not an alien concept to the series, and the writers have demonstrated that they can handle it.

"Yes. We so got this. We'll show the book once, then never reference it or hint at what it's for until we flip status quo upside down, and even then not explain what this thing is." --The writers, probably.

So how about this: have a few episodes in S3 where Twilight and the gang travel around Equestria, and discover that ponies aren't as happy as they should be. Twilight realises that she's learned a thing or two about friendship, and decides to share her knowledge with whatever secondary characters are in said episode.

Have an episode where long-time friends have an argument. This could happen right in Ponyville -- it could happen among the mane 6, even. Once again it's up to Twilight to help her friends. She could help one friend to see the light that shines from the other friend, as it were.

Have an episode where Twilight discovers something about how alicorns came to be. Drop a line about Star Swirl the Bearded's work regarding alicorns and/or destiny. Maybe Twilight researched Sombra's "dark" magic, learning about ancient, forgotten spells? They even confirm Sombra's black/green magic to be "alicorn magic" in season 4. Take this opportunity to provide crucial exposition for when this comes into play later in the season.

Then have a 10-second scene at the end of these episodes with Celestia and Luna being all mysterious and shit with Star Swirl's book floating beside them.

Pace these episodes as such: you have the opener with the Crystal empire, one episode in the first half of the season, one in the second, and then you have the finale, be it a one-parter or two-parter.

Boom. Suddenly, we have an insight into Star Swirl's spell. We understand better how destiny, alicorns and "alicornification" work. We show that there is indeed a need for spreading friendship in Equestria, and we showcase that Twilight is the pony to do it. Twilight's transformation suddenly makes sense, and we know exactly why it was required. Destiny is shown to be a clever little thing, guiding Twilight on a path of self-discovery, then turning her into Pony Buddha. It's simple, it's easy to follow, and it flows naturally from what we've already established.

I didn't have to add much here: all of this is already in the series, just in the wrong places. In just a few paragraphs, I fixed Twilicorn. Please, Hasbro, direct my paycheck towards my bank account.

So why didn't this happen?
The reality is that, given the circumstances of Magical Mystery Cure's creation, the writers never had a plan. Word came down from on high that they'd have to turn Twilight into an alicorn princess, and they'd have to do it all in one episode. Remember that season 3 was only 13 episodes long, and it still needed the usual fluffy "slice of life" stuff. They simply didn't have enough time to devote entire episodes to explaining the overarching plot. So we get Magical Mystery Cure.

But the problems don't end there. Okay, so MMC was in a bad place. There was simply no way for it to work. It was going to fail from the moment it was conceived. Equestria isn't real; MLP is a TV show where shareholders make demands, and the writers are flesh-and-blood human beings with limited time and knowledge. They did the best they could, and polished the turd handed to them to a brilliant shine -- ain't their fault it's still shit.

The reason I still have beef with the writers is that they had the entire 4th season to make up for the monstrosity that was MMC, and still managed to blow it.

The fact that the best episodes of seasons 3 and 4 are the ones where Twilight is never on screen is most telling.

Where season 4 went wrong
Yes, yes, this blog post is still about Magical Mystery Cure. Hear me out here.

So after the trainwreck of MMC, the writers had two options: either commit fully to Twilicorn, or backpedal as hard as they could.

If they commit, they have to put their collective foot down and declare, "Yes, things are changing. The old status quo is over, this is the new one. Twilight is a princess with princess stuff to do." In this case, they'd have incurred the wrath of the bronies for changing destroying the show they loved and for fundamentally altering assassinating Twilight's character. This might have killed interest in the show, especially in light of how badly they handled MMC to begin with. Absolutely no-one would have had faith that they can set this right. The thing is, after season 3 and MMC were done as they were, there was hardly a way to salvage this.

They instead chose to backpedal, and shift into full-on damage control mode. "No," they said, "Twilight totally hasn't changed! She's completely the same character. Yeah, so she's a princess now... but that doesn't mean anything. Honest. She's just like she was. Her friends treat her the same way. Ponyville hasn't changed one bit." The problem is that all of this only went to retroactively reinforce all the reasons why Magical Mystery Cure -- and by extension, Twilicorn -- was a bad thing. If none of it mattered at all -- and that's exactly what they were telling us throughout the season -- then why did it happen at all?

That is to say, no matter what the writers chose, they were royally fucked.

It's almost like this was a bad idea.

The reason they never explained anything in S3 is that they never had a plan. The reason they waited an entire season with giving Twilight something to do was that they needed the time to come up with something. Consider that everything regarding Princess Twilight's purpose -- about 3 lines from Celestia in the very last minutes of season 4 -- could have been better shown in season 3. Consider that if Twilight had a purpose straight from the end of S3, her life would've changed in S4, thereby further making her story arc there more powerful and emotionally engaging. As it is, Twilight spends the season trying to convince herself, her friends -- and most importantly, the audience -- that nothing has changed.

As it is in S4, Twilight's life hasn't changed at all. She has nothing to do as a princess; she still lives in the library; she still has her friends; and she still can't even get a taxi. This makes her constant moping about princesshood ring hollow. If she had something to do, if her life had actually changed, her concerns would have had far more merit. All of that, and a point -- a real, actual point -- would have made Magical Mystery Cure a much less terrible episode.

Instead, we have a completely pointless episode -- MMC -- followed up by a completely pointless season, only for the very end to shit on the entire message by going "Psyche! Twilight being a princess is a big deal after all! Look, here's a castle. Buy the playset." It destroys itself.

In conclusion:
When we get right down to it, the reason Magical Mystery Cure and Twilicorn on the whole turned out as bad as it did is because it happened before the show was ready. I can't stress enough that Twilicorn was a great idea. But not like this, and not at this time. It takes a delicate touch and great care -- it takes a good story, not an incomprehensible excuse of an episode.

But Hasbro demanded it happens, and so it did. And I can't fault them. They're a business. They sell toys. The entire reason the show exists is to market said toys. They're out to make money. I can get behind that. I understand that. But that doesn't mean I won't be mad when they do something so damaging to something I like. I complain because I care.

Does all of this expose Hasbro as a bunch of greedy, money-grubbing bastards that don't care at all about the health of the show, and are only out to squeeze as much shekels out of gullible little girls (and bronies) as they can? I'll leave that for you to decide.

But the answer is yes.

---

Part 4: The story and lack thereof

The problems with Magical Mystery Cure run deep. They run deeper than its troubled production. They run much deeper than its nonsensical plot. Those who know me also know that I am not a clever man. I'm very easy to entertain. I didn't even think the Star Wars prequels were all that bad, honestly. I'm that kind of person. I'm willing to overlook plotholes. Most of the time I don't even notice it when a character gets passed the idiot ball for a while. The core problem with Magical Mystery Cure isn't its shitty pacing or irrational plot. The problem is the story itself.

Magical Mystery Cure does not function as an ending to a larger story, nor does it function as a stand-alone story
To show this, I'm going to compare Magical Mystery Cure to two other stories from the series. First, we'll look at MMC as its own, isolated episode; for this, I will compare it to A Canterlot Wedding. Second, we'll examine MMC as the ending of the entire 3-season story arc. To do this, we'll once again cheat and look into the future: I'll compare Twilight's story to Discord's story, which ended in S4.

How A Canterlot Wedding almost ruined everything
If you were in the fandom when ACW aired, you'll remember the drama -- all the sweet, delicious drama. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll spare you the details; the gist of the story is that the sudden appearance of Shining Armor and Cadence made a lot of people very angry.

The episode was considered by and large to be the beginning of the end. The show was turning irreversibly toyetic right before our eyes, and the episode showed signs of serious executive meddling to achieve that.

How has Twilight never mentioned her brother before? Where did this new alicorn princess come from? Cadence's very existence destroyed everything we thought we knew about Equestria's mythology. Add to this Lauren Faust's confirmation that she OK'd the script as Cadence being a simple unicorn -- she was "alicornified" without her permission, and indeed, knowledge. People were mad.

The answers were clear, of course: this episode happened because Hasbro thought a new princess toy would sell well, and what better way to market said princess than through her very own wedding-themed playset -- especially with a real royal wedding generating international buzz right around that time?

Ka-ching!

ACW and MMC are, in a lot of respects, very similar episodes. Both created to market a brand new princess that came out of nowhere. Both suffer from a serious case of idiot plot. They're both season finales that feature catchy songs. ACW also has possibly the single most incompetent -- and at once luckiest -- villain ever conceived in the form of Chrysalis (disregarding villains who were designed to be incompetent). Both made people very angry. ACW made me angry, too. It was all just so stupid.

And yet, A Canterlot Wedding remains one of my favourite episodes, even though I want to erase Magical Mystery Cure from existence. For the longest time, this fact puzzled even me. But, just for this blog post, I've analysed ACW with a team of experts on My Little Pony to determine why this is the case.

They know their pony inside and out, if you know what I'm saying.

A Canterlot Wedding has a clearly defined story from which the narrative never strays. From the very first scene to the very last, the central theme is Cadence's and Shining Armor's wedding. Despite all its faults, the episode remains on point throughout its full duration. The central conflict of the plot ties directly in with the story: will Shining and Cadence have a happy life together? Everything else -- is Cadence evil? Is Twilight wrong? What are the changelings and what do they want? -- connects neatly to this central theme. The idiotic behaviour of the characters might leave you scratching your head, but you'll always be able to sum up the story in a single sentence.

The plot of ACW might be stupid -- every single character decides to be stupid for an episode -- but the story remains simple, easy to understand, and most importantly, easily relatable. At its heart, it's a story of true love triumphing over selfishness and evil. More specifically, it's the story of Shining Armor's and Cadence's wedding, and an evil witch bug-horse spoiling it. It's a good old-fashioned fairy tale.

Sure, it could've been delivered better. But at least it functions, which is far more than Magical Mystery Cure can say. And although we've all seen this story before, its intrinsic inversion helps keep it fresh: this time, it's the pretty pink princess saving the knight in shining armour.

And if you want an example of a well-placed song in a musical, This Day Aria is it.

Have I mentioned that This Day Aria is amazing and I love it? If you say otherwise I'll breathe real hard and write an angry blog post at you.

Not only did A Canterlot Wedding manage to tell a coherent story, but the subsequent handling of Cadence and Shining Armor also gave the fandom hope. Cadence was called a pointless princess created simply to appeal to children so they buy her dolls -- so the writers gave her something important to do in the very next episode in the form of governing the Crystal Empire. Not only that, but notice that the Crystal Empire is far, far away from Ponyville; this means that Cadence wasn't forcibly shoved in the audience's face. Ever since then, whenever Cadence does appear, she does for a reason; she is always given something to actually do.

Her appearance out of nowhere could also be easily handwaved. Cadence's existence didn't so much change canon as it changed what we knew about canon. "Technically," it has never been said that other alicorn princesses don't exist -- one could easily go on pretending Cadence has always been there, even though we all knew she was invented specifically for this episode.

Overall, A Canterlot Wedding was a far less obtrusive episode than it could have been. It had a heartwarming and simple story, a well-designed -- if not particularly smart -- villain, a decent-enough plot, songs that weren't just good on their own merit but also served to reinforce the story, and the potential damage the episode caused to the show at large was quickly contained and quarantined in the Crystal Empire. Thus, the show was saved.

Then came Magical Mystery Cure.

What is the story of Magical Mystery Cure?

It's been bloody years since the episode aired, and I still can't figure out what it was supposed to be about.

Is this episode the story of Twilight becoming a princess? If so, then why do we spend 70% of the episode focusing on a completely unrelated plot thread?

Is it the story of fixing Star Swirl's spell? Then it would be imperative that we learn how the spell functions, but they never tell or show us. And why is Twilight's ascension -- an important, show-changing event -- tacked onto the end of it?

Is MMC the story of Twilight finding her destiny? Then why doesn't she spend a single minute in the episode -- or indeed, the season -- looking for her destiny?

Is it, perhaps, the story of destiny finding Twilight? Then why don't we learn anything about her destiny? So she becomes a princess -- but why? Why now? Why like this? We are never told.

Is it about Twilight recognising how much her friends mean to her? Then why is the plot so convoluted? Why do we need this spell at all? What does it add to the story? If the spell isn't meant to be understood, why does the plot revolve around Twilight trying to understand it?

I cannot reasonably summarise the story of Magical Mystery Cure in a sentence.

If anything, Magical Mystery Cure is a story about how lack of communication and thoroughly incompetent direction can destroy a good show.

A Canterlot Wedding had a pair of protagonists I could root for, a clear goal I could always see, and a villain I could hate. It's simple and it works.

Magical Mystery Cure opens with Twilight cheerfully singing about how nothing ever goes wrong in Ponyville. Then everything goes wrong in Ponyville. Then we're suddenly incredibly sad -- so sad, in fact, that colour instantly drains from the screen. 10 seconds later, we're thrown into possibly the most upbeat song that's ever been in the show (surpassing even the song that's literally about smiling!).

But then Twilight gets blown up, and Celestia starts singing about destiny apparently, and it's all poignant and stuff, and where are they even, and why is this happening, then Twilight has wings and she's a princess and everyone's happy again and I still don't know what that spell was for and I'm confused and frustrated.

What am I supposed to be feeling here?

We learn about the wedding at about 2 minutes into A Canterlot Wedding, and that storyline carries all the way to the end. That's 40 minutes out of 44, give or take. Magical Mystery Cure introduces a conflict (the broken spell) at the 1-minute mark, and gets it done by around 13 minutes into the episode. The rest of the time is spent on exposition for a major, last-minute change to the status quo that I have no emotional investment in and whose effects I won't see until the next season.

At the start I'm rooting for Twilight to fix the spell, but I'll never know how she fixed the spell since she never explains anything about it. Then I'm happy for her because she's a princess, but why is she a princess? I can't find a story because there isn't one. It's a bunch of bad ideas thrown into a blender to create an absolute atrocity.

That's not to say that non-linear, multi-threaded narratives cannot work. It can and has been done countless times in the past. But one must remember that we are still watching My Little Pony: a show aimed at a very young audience. Everything should be spelled out clearly -- or at the very least, not hidden under layer upon layer of nonsense.

It used to be part of the show's beauty: a child can look at a Party of One and write it off a singular, fun little episode where Pinkie goes crazy -- but an adult NERD might look deeper into it and explore Pinkie's personality based on it. But while Party of One had a simple surface hiding more complex themes underneath, Magical Mystery Cure's very surface is covered in a nigh-impenetrable coating of idiocy.

Magical Mystery Cure isn't The Usual Suspects, McCarthy ain't Tarantino, and they shouldn't be.

Why Discord's story is a good story (even if the plot isn't perfect)
Magical Mystery Cure doesn't just fail on its own; it fails even harder when you realise it was supposed to be the ending of a much larger story arc.

And yes -- I do firmly believe that Discord's story is far better than Twilight's. Now, now, put down your pitchforks. Discord's arc isn't without its own problems. A lot of people were pretty upset at this whole "reformation" thing -- we all knew they were only bringing Discord back to cater to the fandom. The fandom on the whole seems to have a love it/hate it relationship with Discord right now; a lot like Twilicorn.

A strong case can be made against Discord's story arc. You can say the characterisation is wrong, or it happened too quickly, or Discord was a lot better as a villain, etc.. All of those are valid points. This blog isn't about analysing Discord's story, however; we're here to examine Twilicorn.

One thing that, I think, we can all agree on is that Discord's story is a story. It's an actual story arc: it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You can pinpoint the exact moments that character development occurs (whether it's stupid or not is another matter). You can see a definite starting point: Discord as a villain (Return of Harmony). There's a definite end point: Discord finally realises that real friendship is worth more than his selfish desires (Twilight's Kingdom). For reference, let's give his story a quick rundown.

Discord first appears as the villain of the season 2 opener. He doesn't outright harm ponies as much as make their lives a living, chocolate-coated hell. His motivation is either nonexistent, or he's simply doing it all for fun. It's very easy to call RoH's Discord flat-out evil: he tortures ponies (albeit in ridiculous ways) and enjoys it. He shows no sign of empathy. He wasn't a complex villain at all: he was easy to hate and easier to love to watch on screen. He is defeated, of course, by magical friendship rainbow lazers. These first episodes aren't so much part of his real character arc as they set the stage for it in later seasons.

We next hear about Discord in Keep Calm and Flutter On, in season 3. And boy, did this cause a stir. It seemed blatantly obvious that they brought Discord back simply because people loved him so much. And when it was revealed that Discord would be "turning good," that only fanned the flames. Were the writers pandering here? Yeah, probably. But pandering isn't necessarily a bad thing. Not if you do it right.

Above: not doing it right.

How in the hell were they going to make an absolute monster like Discord likeable? Being fun to watch is one thing -- Heath Ledger's Joker was the best thing in his movie -- but likeable? How were the ponies even going to forgive him after he pretty much mind-raped them?

By attempting to mind-rape reform him back, apparently.

We all remember the episode, so there's no need to go into detail. Long story short, Discord gets tentatively reformed by the end. Was his turn too quick? Probably. But that's alleviated in a large part by his later episodes, where it's shown that his conversion isn't done just yet. And one could argue about how much sense it makes that Discord could even be reformed -- but again, that's not the point of this blog.

I realise this is just my interpretation, but Keep Calm and Flutter On was the episode where my perspective of Discord began to shift from "irredeemable evil" to "problem child." In RoH, I imagined his lack of empathy was out of malice. Seeing how he behaved in KCaFO made me think of him more as a little kid burning ants with a magnifying glass. It wasn't that he weighed what he was doing and decided he didn't care; it seemed to me that it never even occurred to him that his actions could be bad.

Think about it: Discord is the textbook example of a reality warper. We don't know how he came to have his powers: either he was born with them or acquired them on the way somehow. Whatever the case, it's easy to see how he might have forgotten societal norms (or indeed, never picked them up at all) by virtue of existing beyond any and all societies. Imagine how difficult it would be for you to lose your grip on your own humanity if you suddenly became all-powerful.

The answer is "not very."

In any case, be it stupid or genius, Discord started on his road to reformation. We see him next in the S4 opener, where he doesn't lift a finger to help the ponies, choosing instead to revel in their pain. At least this time, he isn't the cause of said pain. Well okay, he technically is, but you know what I mean. He even goes out of his way to teach Twilight a lesson -- a real, actually valuable lesson. Discord might be a total dickwad, and he might only do it because he thinks it's funny, but it's undeniable that he helped Twilight settle into her role as a princess without getting anything in return. Selfless or just indifferent? That's up to debate.

He appears next in Three's A Crowd, AKA Discord is a Dick 2: Chaotic Boogaloo. What's important to notice in this episode is that behind all of Discord's crazy shenanigans, there's some real character growth. As Discord reveals at the end of the episode, the ultimate point of it all was to see if Twilight (and by extension Cadence) would be willing to do him a favour -- and how far they'd go to do it.

He was testing the waters: he knows that friends are supposed to help each other, but he also knows that the ponies don't like him very much. So he puts one against the other: is their friendship worth more to them than their hate? Of course, he doesn't think for a moment about reciprocating said favour; we have to remember who we're talking about here. Bottom line is that you can see him change over the course of these episodes; he's starting to really toy with this whole "friendship" idea, and it clashes with his personality beautifully.

And finally, we get to the climax of Discord's story in Twilight's Kingdom. Although Discord has appeared in many episodes before this point, this is the very first where the camera begins actively following him around. He becomes a "point of view" character, letting us see the world through his perception. This allowed for a much closer relationship between the audience and Discord; for the first time, we really get to empathise with him as a normal person.

Which is an impressive feat in and of itself, given what Discord is.

The emotional climax of Discord's story is Tirek's betrayal -- and this is where many people got very, very upset. Surely Discord saw this coming. But he didn't -- he truly didn't. And people love to cry that this is out of character for him. Discord's crazy, but he isn't stupid. He couldn't have ruled Equestria if he was so gullible, right? Again, this is just my take, but I always thought this was as in character as it could have been. This is the moment when Discord himself realises that he isn't what he was before.

This isn't the old, tyrant Discord. That Discord would have seen this coming. This Discord was so caught up in this "friendship" thing that even after his supposed betrayal of the ponies, he went out of his way to look for friendship. He truly, honestly believed Tirek was his friend because he was desperate for friendship, so desperate that he let it cloud his judgement. For the first time, Discord put his trust in somebody. His personality had fundamentally changed, so subtly that he didn't even notice. Not until this point.

This is perhaps the first time that Discord experiences betrayal and loss. There is genuine emotion here -- something that would've been unimaginable for the old Discord. This is when his reformation really becomes complete; he realises not just how much Fluttershy means to him, but the concept of friendship as a whole. It's the point where Discord matures from being a problem child to someone much more aware and more in control of his place in the world.

Or maybe I'm spouting bullshit.

Discord's arc isn't perfect by any means. It paints Discord as a real karma houdini. The pacing of his individual episodes is often lackluster. And even spaced out across as many episodes as it was, maybe his reformation still happened all too quickly to be believable. The fact that ponies ever even considered forgiving him is downright silly.

Then again, Luna tried to kill everyone twice, and they forgave her pretty quickly.

Maybe I'm looking too deeply into his character. But we're on a pony fanfiction website, for crying out loud. Over-analysing children's shows is what we do, and in Discord's case, we can. He has a story with a clearly defined goal: to become a good friend. We are aware of this right from the start, and everything involving Discord was built around this core idea. Over the course of his episodes, Discord grows from a one-note evil villain into an actually rounded, interesting, even compelling character -- all the while the show keeps it simple.

Remember who this is being made for. Hint: it's not us.

You don't have to agree with me, of course. You don't have to like Discord. A lot of people hate him. A lot of people detest that he's even still in the show. And now that his story is done, even I'm worried that they'll keep bringing him back on account of his sheer popularity without doing anything meaningful with him.

The most important thing is that Discord had a story that we could follow, and make up our minds about him along the way. His story made us think. It evoked emotion. It started discussion. It launched God knows how much fanfiction. We had someone to root for and someone to be happy with once he reached the goal we've seen him working towards.

All of this coming directly from his story. Twilicorn resulted in a lot of fanfiction, to be sure -- but they were all about trying to make sense of her ascension and figuring out what this would mean for her character. It was all speculation because the show itself gave us nothing to go on. We were filling in the blanks instead of taking out pieces.

Why Discord's story is better than Twilight's (and why that's a problem)
When comparing Discord's and Twilight's stories, probably the most important aspect to consider are the reasons behind them. Why were they told at all, and why in the way they were?

Discord was brought back because he was popular. Twilight got wings because Hasbro wanted to sell toys. Neither of these is inherently better or worse than the other. The difference becomes apparent when you consider the way these stories were developed.

When Return of Harmony first aired, Discord became an instant fan-favourite. Season 2 was still airing when S3's development had already begun; and the writers knew they just had to bring Discord back somehow, and make it so he can remain a recurring character. With Twilicorn, it was Hasbro breathing down their necks for increased marketing potential, and the fact that they didn't know for sure whether the show was going to end after S3 or not.

Keep Calm and Flutter On is an excuse episode. No way around that. It was an excuse to bring Discord back, crammed into a single episode because S3 was too short to have more. It felt rushed and half-baked, and indeed, half-done -- because Discord's story wasn't done yet. The writers made it so that they could continue his story, but they didn't have to. Whereas Twilicorn had to happen by Hasbro's mandate, Discord was more of a side project. He simply wasn't as important, and was allowed to be put onto the backburner for the time being.

But if Discord is less important than Twilicorn, how come that Twilicorn turned out to be a total cockup where Discord's story turned out well? The answer is very simple.

Hasbro doesn't sell Discord toys.

Oh, sure, there was that blindbag somewhere along the line. And there have been licensed figurines/statuettes made by different companies. But on the whole, Hasbro simply didn't care about Discord -- not as a marketable product. He was a tool to get people to watch the cartoon so that the cartoon could advertise their real products.

Ka-ching!

That is to say, Hasbro's instructions regarding Discord were probably little more in-depth than "just put him in there somewhere." This gave the writers a level of freedom they could never reach with Twilicorn. They could take their time and figure out an actual reason for Discord's story to even happen inside the show's universe: Celestia needed Discord on her side for when somebody wants to take over Equestria again. And who better to use than Discord? Just imagine, for a moment, if Discord hadn't turned out to be a total dickwad. He snaps his fingers and disables Tirek while he's still weak. Boom, episode over, Equestria is saved.

I can't fault Celestia for giving it a shot.

Let's recap Twilight's story. For the purposes of this blog, "Twilight's story" is all of seasons 1, 2, and 3. Certainly not all episodes focused on Twilight -- she didn't even appear in some of them -- but even there her friends learned something about friendship, which would, always and inevitably, feed back into Twilight's character growth. Now, as there is a lot more to cover with Twilight than there was with Discord, I'll be taking bigger leaps.

In the very first episode of the series, we're introduced to Twilight as a thoroughly asocial (if not antisocial) pony who prefers the company of books to that of other ponies. Princess Celestia, her mysterious mentor, sends her to the small town of Ponyville with the simple instruction to make some friends. But Twilight, ever the studious one, knows that Nightmare Moon is about to return and bring about eternal night! So why isn't the Princess listening to her warnings?

As it turns out, Twilight making friends was key to saving the world after all. Not only that, but Twilight herself comes to understand the importance of friendship is a pony's life. Thus, as of S01E02, Twilight's new task, as decreed by Princess Celestia herself, is to stay in Ponyville and learn more about friendship.

On the surface, this seems to be nothing but Celestia caring for her little student's mental well-being. And that's certainly part of it. But anyone the least bit genre savvy knows that the mysterious mentor always has a plan.

And if the big crown thingy was anything to go by, those plans were big.

We knew that Twilight's task was to make friends and learn how to be a good friend, and speculated that Celestia was up to something greater. As the show never revealed anything about Celestia, her personality, or her motivations, everything about her remained just that: speculation. It existed outside of the story.

The actual story was Twilight bettering herself as a person. The central question became, "can Twilight become a good friend?" Season 1 was spent in exactly that vein.

I'm getting nostalgic just thinking about the friendship letters. Hold on... I think I've got something in my eye.

Season 1 had Twilight learning how to be a good friend; it's an innocuous-enough premise for a little girls' show. Sensing that the formula is growing stale, the creators then when on to branch the idea out to the rest of the mane 6. Throughout season 2, Twilight and all her friends would sent letters to Celestia regarding what they learned about friendship.

What's important to notice is the creators didn't make this change willy-nilly. We had an entire episode exploring the idea that even Twilight's friends might not know everything about friendship. We were shown that they have things yet to learn, and in Lesson Zero we were given a reason to care. The status quo changed not because of some outside mandate, but because the creators recognised that it would be better for the story.

Then along came season 3, which suffers from a major case of identity crisis.

See, as far as show canon was concerned, the letters never really stopped. Celestia never said she doesn't want them any more; the mane 6 didn't decide they wouldn't be sending them any more; they simply stopped sending them. On the one hand, it makes sense: there are only so many basic life lessons to be learned (and dropped onto little girls' heads). It makes sense that they wouldn't send a letter every week, because why would they? Back in Lesson Zero, Celestia herself specified that they don't have to send them regularly.

From this day forth, I would like you all to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship, when, and only when, you happen to discover them.

The problem is that without the letters, the entire season seems to meander aimlessly. Ponies go places, ponies do things, but there's no central theme to it all. This doesn't make individual episodes bad, but it contributes to the feeling of hollowness that many people get when thinking about season 3.

The story didn't so much go off the tracks as it stopped dead in them. The initial premise of the first season -- Twilight learning about friendship -- organically grew into the premise of the second season, with all her friends trying to be better friends as well. And as of Magical Mystery Cure, last we've seen, the mane 6 was still in the middle of this process. We were never shown it come to an end. This was still the story.

And then, at the very end of season 3, in the final five minutes of this 3-season-long story arc, the primary conflict is inexplicably dropped and replaced by Twilight's ascension to princesshood. This segue is done in all of one, single, solitary line:

You did something today that's never been done before. Something even a great unicorn like Star Swirl the Bearded was not able to do, because he did not understand friendship like you do. The lessons you've learned here in Ponyville have taught you well. You have proven that you're ready, Twilight.

To which Twilight responds with a perfectly reasonable question:

Ready? Ready for what?

I mean, what's this about, really? I thought Twilight had to study friendship so that she can have a better life. I mean, that sounded pretty reasonable. We've seen her become a better person as a result of her time spent in Ponyville. She's been documenting this process in her letters, reminding us of this central conflict at the end of almost every episode. Even her friends have chimed in as of last season.

Twilight never made any indication that she wanted to be a princess. Celestia never made any indication that she wanted Twilight to be a princess. More importantly, we were never shown that being a good friend was a prerequisite of being a princess.

If anything, we've been shown that the opposite is true.

There was no connection between "learning friendship" and "becoming princess" until this line. Let me stress this: we learn that the primary conflict of our story was in fact buildup for something entirely unrelated in the dénouement of the final episode. Calculating with 20 minutes of content per episode for 65 episodes, that's in the last 5 minutes of this 1300-minute long story. That is the final ~0.4% of the entire running time.

Take a moment to appreciate how wrong this is.

Magical Mystery Cure fails as an ending to its own story. Rather than being an ending to the established conflict, it throws it out the window to invent a brand new one -- and then proceeds to end there without doing anything with it.

Hey, remember that it's not just Twilight sending letters any more, but the rest of the mane 6 as well? What's up with that? Twilight is no longer Celestia's student, but her friends are still supposed to be sending letters. Nobody told them to stop, and we've never seen their story arcs coming to an end as regards to the letters and friendship.

It's as if the writers had forgotten about them in their attempts to justify the insanity of Twilight's nonsensical story.

Remember when Twilight asked,

Ready? Ready for what?

That's when Celestia burst into song. Look at the lyrics. Notice how Celestia doesn't actually answer. In fact, notice how Celestia doesn't actually answer until the final 2 minutes of season 4.

Twilight's first story -- learning friendship -- never really ended. It was dropped with no explanation in favour of a new story that had no buildup and which the show spent its entire next season ignoring. Contrast Discord's story, which had a clear beginning, middle, and end. Realise that Twilight is a main character -- the main character, really. Discord, on the other hand, is only a side character, and not even an important one at that.

In conclusion:
Because Discord and Cadence aren't as important to the show as Twilight is, the writers have much more freedom to tell good stories with them. Because Twilight is the pony through whom the audience mainly engages with the pony world, her story is controlled by Hasbro's marketing department.

And if you can't see that this is ass backwards, then get out of my face.

---

Part 5: How Magical Mystery Cure ruined everything

The bottom line to all the above is that Magical Mystery Cure was a bad, bad, bad episode. Does this mean you're not allowed to like it? No. You can like Magical Mystery Cure. I guess. If you're stupid.

Pictured: somebody who likes Magical Mystery Cure, probably.

I'm going to ask you to roll with me for a minute here. Take a look at Twilight's castle from season 4.

"I am Faust, Queen of Queens: look on my works, ye mighty, and despair."

Now take a look at the playset.

It's a castle. With a slide.

Compare. Look at their silhouettes. Notice that the two castles look almost exactly alike. Cry. (This last step is optional but recommended.)

Look at Twilight's castle in the show. It even has that little platform on the left for pony toys to stand on.

It is ugly. Can I say that? Is it OK to say that? Every time someone has an opinion on the internet, someone else jumps at their throat telling them they're wrong. It's what I've been doing this whole blog post.

But... just look at this thing. LOOK AT IT.

WARNING: This section contains BASELESS SPECULATION and HYPERBOLE
I'm going to go out on a limb and make the assumption that the writers didn't want this. I do this because the alternative is that they actually planned for this all along, and that would not help their case.

Let's examine Twilight's castle from a story perspective.

So Twilight is a princess now. Okay. Let's work with it. Princesses should have an important purpose. At the end of S4, Twilight finally finds a purpose. I take issue with what that purpose is, but I commend the writers for doing something. Since Twilight is an important pony now, she can't keep living in a library. Okay, I can work with that. Give her a castle? Well, she is a princess. Alright. Nothing inherently wrong with that.

"Oh no," the writers said as they planned this out, probably. "Castles don't just grow out of the ground! Twilight and friends can't build an entire castle alone either. But we can't have Twilight boss ponies around and make a minimum wage construction crew build a castle for her either. Whatever shall we do?"

"I've got an idea," responded another writer, probably. "We're already getting rid of the Elements of Harmony, right? And there's that crystal tree located conveniently under the old castle of Luna and Celestia. What if that tree magically grew into the castle? Twilight could have a castle and still live in a tree. It's totally clever."

"Yes!" said a third one, probably. "I'll pen a few episodes where the ponies explore and renovate the old castle so Twilight can move in."

You can see where I'm going with this. Following the logic of the season, and knowing that Twilight had to have a castle in order to sell Hasbro's castle playset, the writers began to work on an actual storyline. Everything falls neatly into place: we explore the castle, we see it get repaired, and when the tree grows in the final episode, it could easily have "fused" with the castle, as it were, to create Twilight's "Tree Castle."

It's cleverly woven into the story: the old castle is a pivotal part of the season, with the Tree of Harmony under it and the mane 6 finding the princesses' journal in it. It's close enough to Ponyville for Twilight not to have to move far, but far enough that it doesn't disturb the town's iconic atmosphere.

But we all know that this is not what happened in the show. And this is where I kick my BASELESS SPECULATION into overdrive. The problem, see, is that the old castle looks like this:

It's not pink and it doesn't have nearly enough hearts on it. It doesn't even have a slide.

Here's what I think happened: the writers were already in the middle of planning out the story of Twilight's castle when word came down from on high that the castle would have to look like the playset. And that is asinine. I am assuming they didn't want this to happen because it is asinine. If my assumption is correct, then evidently the Hasbro mandate overpowered them.

If we roll further with my assumption that they wanted to make the old castle into Twilight's castle, then it's also clear they didn't want it to be in Ponyville. But remember that time when they added a never-before-seen train station and a horrendously hideous train to the show and slapped it right into the opening credits?

It's pink and has hearts on it. Now it just needs a slide!

Remember how it only happened after Faust stepped down?

Reminder that we already had a train at the time. (No hearts, though.)

Hasbro has shown, time and time again, that they are not above shamelessly inserting toys straight into the show. And when they do it, they want exposure. The train went into the opening song; Cadence got her two-parter that they hyped the ever-living fuck out of; Twilight is the main character.

That is why I firmly believe that placing the castle in Ponyville was Hasbro's decision, not the writers'. I want to believe this because the alternative -- that they really thought this was a good idea despite having a perfectly good castle right over there -- is depressing. And I'm not even counting the "A castle AND a brand new crystal tree grew out of the ground suddenly!" thing.

What does this have to do with Magical Mystery Cure?
The problem isn't that MMC was a bad episode. We've had bad episodes before. The problem with MMC is that it set a precedent.

Prior to MMC, every time Hasbro forced a blatant toy commercial into the show, the writers managed to handle it. With MMC, there was no way for them to handle it. The episode proved that Hasbro can and will force toys into the show even if it breaks the story. It was the tipping point where the show's main priority shifted from telling stories to selling toys. Selling toys has always been important, don't get me wrong; it's why the show even exists. But never before had it been as blatant as it became in MMC.

If Princess Cadence was the beginning of the end, then Princess Twilight was the end of the beginning.

It wasn't a steep drop in quality. The show didn't suddenly turn from solid gold to utter shit in the span of a single episode. It had been a long process -- one that still isn't over. MMC was merely the point of no return. Now they can make any change and advertise any silly plastic toy.

Yes, they've advertised toys in the show before. But since Magical Mystery Cure, they're not even trying to be subtle about it any more.

Unless I'm wrong and they are trying to be subtle. In which case, well... that's just kind of sad.

It isn't that every episode ever is going to be bad. Season 4 had a lot of good episodes! Some of them even had Princess Twilight in it. The problem is that the story will always stagnate. It will aimlessly meander just like season 3 did until Hasbro decides they need to sell a new toy.

The evolution of the show is dictated not by the organic growth of the story but by Hasbro's toy department. They don't care about the story. They realised they no longer have to. Because Magical Mystery Cure has already ruined everything.

Sure, some less important changes might be made. Discord, a side character, went from being a bad guy to being a good guy. He doesn't affect the main story very much, however, because he can't. He isn't part of the main story.

The main story will only ever change for two reasons: to put a new toy into the show, or to retroactively try to justify a toy that was added earlier.

Case in point.

Magical Mystery Cure isn't just bad, it infects the rest of the show with its badness
Remember when Merriwether drama was a thing? You know, when people NERDS wrote endless, excessively long rants about that one episode of the show? Your mileage may vary on what constitutes a bad episode, but unless you have absolutely no opinions whatsoever, then there were at least a handful of episodes throughout the past 4 seasons that disappointed you. I know I have.

Yet you don't see me ranting about Spike at Your Service. And I know I give Equestria Girls a lot of shit, but you don't see me dedicating an entire blog post to how much I dislike it.

But honestly, it can go fuck right off.

How low can the show go? Magical Mystery Cure might not be the absolute lowest point of the series, but it was the episode that removed all brakes. We are going to find out how low the show can go. Perhaps we cannot fathom what unholy, heart-covered plastic demons the show might yet spawn, but at this point, we won't be surprised at anything.

I mean, it's incredibly difficult to be disappointed when your expectations are already lower than a sitting frog's asshole.

Take a step back and consider the state of the show
Remember the beautiful, intricate design of Canterlot?

You can tell it was a labour of love.

There was a time when the show cared about things such as pony architecture. Let that sink in. That is not the case any more.
The show used to have big, important episodes that weren't vehicles to sell toys. That isn't the case any more.
The showed used to tell good stories, even given a bad premise and suffering from subpar writing. Now it doesn't.

The show was supposed to be more than a glorified toy commercial. Instead it spawned Equestria Girls. If you think that forcing pony onto a completely unrelated toyline is anything but a shameless cash grab, then you are wrong.

I mean, we could have got a proper Friendship is Magic movie. But that wouldn't have sold as many toys, so we didn't.

You know there's going to be a full-on Equestria Girls/FiM crossover. It will help drive the sales of both toylines, therefore it is inevitable. I'd wager it'll happen in that teased 2017 movie -- probably some new villain who "threatens all worlds." Twilight will have to round up her friends from the alternate universe to fight them. Calling it now. That, if it doesn't happen earlier.

What, why do you think Flash Sentry was shoved into season 4 despite the current showrunner herself claiming he won't appear at all? Because Hasbro doesn't want us to forget about the EqG franchise. Sooner or later, it's happening.

Now, a lot of people like EqG. That's fine. I hear it had some pretty good songs. I'm not particularly impressed by that, since having catchy songs is the bare minimum for what an Equestria Girls move is. An Equestria Girls movie wouldn't be an Equestria Girls movie without pop songs in it. It would be a vapid waste of megabytes. It would be like having a My Little Pony movie without ponies in it.

Oh.

What I'm trying to say is that I realise a lot of people would love to see a proper crossover happen. And that's fine. I don't get it, but it's fine.

But it won't stop at EqG, folks. Hasbro's job is to come up with new toys -- and the show's job is to market them. With MMC, the show's quality has officially taken a back seat to selling toys. And MMC is the prime example of what happens when toys come first.

You can't say I'm making this up. Notice how I didn't make this blog post right after season 3. I'm making it now, a whole season and two movies later. Because we can already see the process. Just look at Twilight's castle and the Rainbow Power. Look at how long it took for the story to recover from the clusterfuck that was MMC. Look at that fugly castle.

Jumping the shark: The point in the life of a TV show where it begins to do increasingly ridiculous things in order to keep viewer interest.

Friendship is Magic is being watered down. Very slowly, it's losing its magic. The writers, despite their best intentions, have no way of stopping it. It used to be something special. Now everything sucks.

Because Magical Mystery Cure has already ruined everything.

---

Some extra bits from the comments, to further sum up what this blog post was about:

The problem is that these things build up. It's going to be increasingly difficult to build good stories as the show goes on, simply because of this baggage. (...)

The writers do their best to build a good story around the heaps of shite that Hasbro puts down, but they can't remove the shite. They are plot tumours that are slowly spreading and becoming more numerous. The Tirek fight in particular comes off, to me, as a desperate bid to avert attention from how bad the main story was. "Look, Twilicorn was totally worth it. Look. Explosions! Isn't this awesome? Please say it's awesome." And I'm not saying it wasn't awesome, but this ain't why I started watching the show, y'know?

Like I said, it's not that the show is unwatchable or that every episode is bad now. I simply don't have faith in them correcting everything wrong with the show. I don't see how they could because their hands are tied. Even in a completely unrelated episode, they're still shoving Twilicorn into my face. And now they can't even have a shot of Ponyville without the castle in it. One can choose to ignore them, but it's only a matter of time before it becomes too much. It's a constant reminder as to the main priority of the show.

Because MMC ruined everything.

It's not that the show sucks. It's that the point has been established the writers don't have any veto over executive meddling. So they're going to get stuck with a steady trickle of _stupid_ from the marketing department. And _eventually_ this trickle of stupid will drown the show in its avoidable and unnecessary shitiness. (...)

Even if Hasbro wants to maximize profit, this approach is _stupid_. They had a runaway success out of nowhere with FiM. They should have wondered "hrm. maybe the _story_ and _characters_ are driving the popularity, not the merchandise". But they shrugged and decided to treat the story's popularity as a windfall to be milked. Rather than a guide to a better paradigm for a franchise show.

Comments

[Wise Cracker]

Two remarks:

1) Nice blog, very in-depth, very well thought-out. Now edit all the typos out of it.

2) I'd offer you some Filly Funtasia to replace MLP, but we just got word it's been delayed by another year.

Two questions:

1) Feel better now?
and
2) If not, can you imagine anything that would make you feel better?

[JawJoe]

2746730

1) Feel better now?

Yes. I'm so relieved to have this out of my system. It's been quite a journey, really. Now I have a clear picture of why I don't like the episode, I think I can put it behind me. I just hate not knowing, you know? So yeah, this helped.

Now edit all the typos out of it.

I figured there'd be a lot of those. I did re-read it all and tried to pay close attention, but it seems I just couldn't catch them all. Blargh. If you can point out any, do so.

Time for another re-read, I suppose.

[ToixStory]

I feel this is appropriate:

[Csquared08]

Further proving that Equestria Girls is the worst thing in existence

Yes, the first movie was pretty miserable. But Rainbow Rocks was pretty fantastic. So I can forgive the first one being awful since they salvaged it with the second, to the point where I'm looking forward to the third movie.

As for MMC and the 'death of the show'? While I agree that MMC was miserable, and while I agree that the blog called for excessive drama to make its point, I'm still enjoying the show just as much as I was before. I think the general idea of 'the death of the show' that people seem to be actually thinking is quite a bit overblown and rather silly. I think some people get too caught up in looking for mistakes that they forget how to just sit back and enjoy something. Or people can't believe they don't like the show anymore, so they go fishing for reasons that the show as a whole is dead.

[Dark Colt Sabata]

I love you for making this, no homo.

[I AM A GOD]

Thank you so much. Thank you. I hope writing this has brought you some catharsis.

As for me? I realized pretty much what you realized (and then some) during the midpoint of Season 4's airing. I watched the Tirek finale, but not the latter episodes before then. And I can't bring myself to watch Rainbow Rocks no matter how good people say it is.

It hurts.

I'm trying to wean myself off of this franchise, but it's difficult. The only real engagement I have with it is through fanfiction and art. I really don't want to watch Season 5. It's going to be a difficult time for me, when that time comes.

This blog post has reminded me, again, of everything that is wrong with this whole...thing. Not just the stuff you covered, but stuff beyond that. The show, the franchise, the fandom, etc.

At least now I can say for certain that I know of someone who knows what I know and has seen what I've seen. So once again, thank you.

[pterrorgrine]

This is just shy of twenty thousand words on "Magical Mystery Cure". Even if someone disagrees with your opinions, I doubt anyone can say that they're not well-considered.

[Nonagon]

GREAT WALL OF TEXT

I thought up a few talking points while reading this, but I'll just bring up the one that seems to encompass all of it: The thing that's always fascinated and frustrated me the most about the show is the psychology of the characters. Or, more accurately, the psychology of the world of the characters. It's subtle, but every so often you get these little reminders that even though they're heavily anthropomorphous, ponies aren't human. Our ancestors were omnivorous and aggressive scavengers, while theirs were flighty herbivores with many natural predators, and because of this they think, behave, and reason differently than we do. Ponies are skittish and easily startled. They are control freaks, needing complete power over their environment to feel safe. They have a powerful herd mentality and an intense need to know their place in society.

And the reason this frustrates me is that this raises so many questions about them, questions which will never be answered. What is their history? When and how did ponies take over this world? Are they the dominant species or not? Did ponies evolve, or were they created? Twilight Sparkle is as close to canonically an atheist as she can possibly get, but there are also constant references to Greek gods and mythology. Do ponies have gods? In a land of magic, immortals and virtually omnipotent beings, how would they even define the concept?

...stopping myself there before my head explodes (a depth-first analysis probably wasn't the best approach) but it also outlines the point I was getting to. The main difficulty, which you touch on here, is that ponies have certain words that mean different things to them than they do to us. In this case, "destiny" and "princess". Imagine you've grown up in a world where cutie marks are a thing, where they have always been a thing and you can't imagine there being any other way. The very concept of "destiny" takes on a very different meaning in that environment. Similarly, there must be some actual definition of a princess in Equestria, since the rank covers everything from some asshole who is technically a duke to the immortal sun goddess who rules the world with a golden hoof. The word clearly has nothing to do with our understanding of it.

And the frustrating thing is that we are never told what the word actually means. There's no Equestrian To Human dictionary, and it's way too late in the show to start telling us basic facts about the universe. The result is that the characters are privy to a ton of information that we aren't, which is an extremely bad position to be putting the viewer in. It's like dragging a peasant in from Ye Olde 16th Century Feudal Monarchy and forcing them to watch a drama about a presidential election without first explaining the concept of democracy. Even though they can sort of figure out what's going on, for the most part they're going to be frustrated by characters freely flinging complicated concepts around like we're supposed to already understand what they mean in this context.

And it's not like it can't be done. As you say, any Pinkie Pie episode is a prime example of exploring complex psychology in a simple and kid-friendly way. Plus, MLP's sister (brother?) franchise Transformers is at its core a big dumb toy commercial for boys about robots shooting lasers at each other, but it has an incredibly detailed (if frequently contradictory) history of its non-human race. And I think the real problem is as you say, that the writers don't know the definitions of these words either. Maybe Faust did, heck, maybe Larson did at one point, but as the show's become more diluted I doubt there's any consensus among the writers about what any of this stuff actually means.

...But it's not all bad.

One thing I've noticed as I read and watch more is that the West is absolutely steeped in the mode of realism. We demand explanations for absolutely everything, and we get upset when a story doesn't follow the rules of the world we currently live in. This is especially noticeable when you look at anime, or rather, our reaction to it. People often criticize and/or mock Japanese media for being absurd, but really, their culture just takes the arguably more sensible view of "I'm trying to tell a story here, just go with it." (This is a complicated topic that I'm not really qualified to talk about. Look into it, it's fascinating.) But once you become aware of this, once you plant the seed of "Maybe everything doesn't have to make sense" in your head, it's easier to start looking at things differently.

There's an interpretation of the FiM universe, and I cannot remember where I picked this up, which states that the entire show is an exploration of the psychology of little girls. In other words, every single character is an eight-to-twelve-year-old girl. (There are some boys thrown into the mix, sure, but let's not kid ourselves about what lens they're being seen through.) The "little" ponies are just that. They think and behave like little kids, dealing with problems children can relate to and learning very simple messages about the world. They're not stereotyped, though; in complete contrast to the toy commercials themselves, girls can be anyone they want to be, can do anything they want to do, and can generally have a range of interests including but not limited to being pretty and sparkly. The show's pretty good like that.

And the reason I like this theory is that it explains so much. When you're a kid, concepts like destiny really are as simple as they're presented. We learn early on to define people by their professions. What does Rarity do? She's a dressmaker. It's what she likes to do. Rarity is eleven years old and understands this concept. Why are some ponies way, way bigger than others? Because Celestia is the only grown-up in a world of little kids. In that context, it doesn't matter where she comes from; she's a mother, impossibly ancient and wise, and an inspiration to all her children. Bigger characters are leaders, more emotionally mature than their smaller counterparts and filling some kind of mentor archetype. There's a reason the big brothers always tower over their sisters. (The exception might be Granny Smith, but girl/granny interactions are very different than girl/mother.) And princesses? No girl really understands what a princess is, but they all know that they really, really want to be one.

Initially, my understanding of Twilight's ascension was not unlike Celestia's from IWtTtWObIC, that she was always an alicorn on the inside and the process just let that come out, but I was never really happy with that. To me, Twilight's ascension is about her growing up. She's not a girl any more, she's a young woman, and it's scary and she doesn't know what it means, but that's life. That's also why I'm not sure where the show is going any more. I've always agreed that Twi's ascension was poorly paced, and now that she's all grown up and literally the most powerful being in the world, I really don't know where there is to go from here. Weirdly, it seems that the logical next step for her is actually the Equestria Girls universe - you know, moving on to the strange new world of high school where the rules are different and the accomplishments of childhood mean nothing - but we've already established that that's an entirely different kettle of fish. So I'm stumped, I guess.

Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who took issue with the Twilight/Tirek battle. I'm secure about my reasons for liking MLP and I don't come to this show about adorable cuddly magical ponies to watch Dragon Ball Z.

[blank check]

Midway through, but if you don't touch on how cutie marks/special talents/"destinies" are completely disjoint from what was actually switched, professions (and not even the abilities in professions. if someone's destiny is switched, they should be able to fulfill that destiny, because that's the definition of destiny. with the world depicted in MMC, their destinies are "to fail," and switching them around wouldn't really do much), here's a note so I won't forget.

[Chyre]

Good points. I only watched the first four episodes of season four, and this is pretty much why.

On a different note, there are couple other good fanfiction deconstructions of Twilicorn that you might want to check out. Sapidus3's excellent Not an Adult explores how a stagnation of the maIn storyline is also a stagnation of Twilight's life. Mike Teavee's Divided Rainbow (fair warning, tasteful clop) is essentially the story that MMC should have been, retelling it as a recursive fanfiction of Xenophilia (fair warning, more tasteful clop). Together with I Want to Take the Wings off, but I Can't, they've mostly supplanted the cannon MMC in my head.

[lazyreader19]

Wrote, this was quite a read. Gotta digest that. Pretty much in agreement with all of this. Though for some of reason I still like EQG.

But yeah,I completely see the cash grab going on. Though damn it really hit home with the train comparison!

Also

removed all breaks.

*brakes

Thanks for the rant insightful critique. I'm praying season 5 will have some redeeming quality of some sort. If not,I always have fimfiction

[Valikdu]

OH MY GAAD!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAACE?!?

[JawJoe]

2746839
Yeah, I was shamelessly ripping off Plinkett jokes in this blog. You may not have noticed... but your brain did.

2746857
...what work? Stop being all mysterious, I cannot deal with suspense.

2746932
Cheap shots aside, EqG just isn't something I'm interested in. Not into the premise, pony or no pony. I also can't help but feel a little cheated that we got this instead of a proper FiM movie.

Now, I'm not saying the show is dead. Although it seems from the comments here that I'm not the only one getting off the ride, it's clear that the show still has an immense fanbase. It's just that based on what has happened to the show in the past seasons, I predict a downward trend. I can still go back and rewatch the first two seasons and still get that warm, fuzzy feeling they gave me when they first aired. But anything Twilicorn and onward leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

It's a personal thing, obviously. This blog is the result of my attempts to track down why I feel like this. The show seems to have lost the quality that initially drew me in. If you still like it, that's fine. I don't get it, but it's fine.

2747060
You can be my wingpony any time, Sabata.

2747361
*virtual hug*
...but no matter how the show -- or our opinion of it -- changes, never forget why we started watching in the first place.

The way I see it, every life TV show is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

You're going to have these memories for a long, long time. Make them good ones.

2747410
I should hope so. Behind the obvious over-the-top rudeness, I tried to provide logical points to consider and to be reasonable throughout.

2747768
It's something I "kinda" touch on, for about a single line. About Rarity being the only one enjoying her new "destiny" even though "their true selves" had been altered. But yeah, it wasn't a major point in the review.

2747852
I might check them out. But then... I'm not really into clop. I don't judge, but I just don't get like that.

2749018
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR HAIR?!

2748410
I just can't see season 5 being good. Because MMC has already ruined everything. I mean, I'm sure it'll have good episodes and high points, but with Princess Twilight hanging over it... it's just not the same any more, y'know? It broke the illusion that the show was more than a commercial.

2747518

One thing I've noticed as I read and watch more is that the West is absolutely steeped in the mode of realism.

That may be so. I might be a little too hung up on it, myself. Although I still believe that any story that handwaves its magical elements for the sake of the story should make it obvious that it's handwaving. That is, if it comes out and openly states "don't examine this too closely, I'm trying to tell a story here," that's fine. But if it pretends to be logical and comprehensible -- like MMC seemed to -- then it should absolutey be comprehensible.

the entire show is an exploration of the psychology of little girls.

That... has to be the most amazing interpretation of the show out there. You genuinely blew my mind since it's so obvious in hindsight. I don't believe for a second that the writers did/are doing this intentionally, though. But... I really like this interpretation. Heck, you almost made me like Equestria Girls here. Almost. Seriously, you came this close. But then I realised the writers really aren't planning on doing anything like this, and that EqG is just a big dumb toy commercial in a pony skin.

And the thing is that even if this was the idea behind the show, the stories they're telling are coming up shallow by now. It's like you're saying: there doesn't seem to be much more room for Twilight to progress. This whole "learning friendship" thing has been dropped/dealt with. Twilight has reached lvl 99 friendship and got her special Alicorn prestige skin. She's also maxed out her magic skill.

Just like how Discord's story being over makes me worry about his future, Twilight's state right now makes me worry about the future of the entire show. It feels like the writers have lost control, and it's only a matter of time before it all spirals into a chaotic mess even the Elements of Harmony couldn't untangle.

It's like seeing a friend or relative engage in self-destructive habits. You can't help them, you can only watch as it happens.

Or look away in time...

[ToixStory]

2749474
Reply to this comment if you want a pizza roll. Upvote this comment if you want a pizza roll.

[Csquared08]

2749474

It broke the illusion that the show was more than a commercial.

See, I think you're projecting MMC too much on to the show. Sure, there was a stretch from MMC to EQG 1 where the writers were obviously hampered quite a bit by demands from Hasbro for more toys, and it was obvious that Hasbro just wants more toys. But Season 4 felt like a return to form with some good episodes while the writers figured out what they wanted to do with Princess Twilight as a princess. Rainbow Rocks, for me anyway, solidified that thought. Sure, I still hate the art design, but I really enjoyed the movie. If you told me a year ago that I was going to enjoy EQG 2, I would have had an excellent laugh. But here I am, impressed that the writers were able to take the miserable world of EQG and make a good movie.

I mean, at the end of the day, yes, Hasbro wants more toys. That's going to be their ulterior motive to everything. And it always has been. But so as long as the writers manage to make good episodes, I don't see why that should be any more of an issue than it was back during the first couple seasons.

[Nonagon]

2749474
Thinking back, I think that interpretation comes from something Faust said about her initial conception of the show, with a bunch of little girl ponies running around having adventures but always coming back to their wise mother figure who teaches them lessons. It certainly made the most sense back in season one, when the lore was minimal and Equestria was infinite for all we knew. (Back then, we didn't even have a map. Think about that.) In a way, Celestia's downfall could be seen as part of Twilight's ascension. In our (read: her) eyes she starts out as this immortal, omnipotent figure whom Twilight is absolutely terrified of. But the more we learn about her, and the more she's humanized, the smaller the gap between them becomes. By the end of season one, we know she's not above pettiness and good humour. By the end of season two, we know she's not all-powerful, not even close. By season four, she's the one asking Twilight for help. The fact that we learn about Celestia through her failures, rather than her accomplishments, mirrors the way Twilight is slowly learning the same thing: that grown-ups aren't the same as gods, and are, in fact, not much different from her. Wow, that went on a bit longer than I meant it to.

To me, Equestria Girls is almost - almost - worth it just for Sunset Shimmer. With everyone else having their character arcs just about wrapped up, she's by far the most interesting character at this point in the series, not least because she still has a ways to go. There's some overlap with Discord in that she's a reformed villain, but her motivations have a different kind of depth to them, and her alternate universe means she's free of the baggage of the pony world to explore it. While Twilight's ascended, Sunset is firmly established to be at Friendship Lv.1. She has a hard time connecting to people, and even her own friends don't really treat her as one of the group yet. By the end she's even got a mentor/student relationship going on with Twilight, starting the cycle anew. She's a fresh start to the concept and exactly what the series needs right now.

The problem is, of course, that the Equestria Girls movies have a bad habit of either not explaining anything or overexplaining things badly, so most of this depth is left for the viewer to intuit. I consistently find that I'm way more interested in Sunset's potential as a character than how she's actually treated by the writers. There are just so many unanswered questions about her that need exploring - I, um, may have another tab open in which I'm writing a psychological erotica about her right this second. The movies are like three hours of Keep Calm and Flutter On, in which you know that everything makes sense for the character but you just want to grab it and smash it flat with a rolling pin to even out the awful pacing. Much of my writing seems to be inspired by how great the stories of kids shows could have been.

[Chyre]

2749474

Well, what I meant is that there is sex, but it's not really the point of the story. Still, I can understand if that's not your thing.

[Northern_Wind]

Best thing I've read since the relevant story. You sir, are full of surprises. please check my private message.

Jumping the shark, incidentally, is otherwise known as Dragonball Z syndrome. Kinda puts that final fight in perspective.

[JawJoe]

2749534
You know how Twilight used to live in a tree, and now her castle is in a tree? Again, it's like poetry, so that they rhyme. Hopefully it'll work.

I mean, Magical Mystery Cure is so dense. It just has so much going on.

Look at that, somebody actually went and downvoted you. Guess they don't want their pizza roll.

2749587
I'm not sure I follow. How would you go about doing that?

2750045

It was a happier time when I could just trust them to not fuck the pooch because they were simply better than that.

This is pretty much it. After seeing season 4 and they way they handled Twilicorn (or how they didn't handle it at all), I found myself wondering before every new episode if this will be the second worst thing since MMC.

2749659

I consistently find that I'm way more interested in Sunset's potential as a character than how she's actually treated by the writers.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: I love the idea of Sunset Shimmer as a kind of "anti-Twilight." Right down to the names, the voice actor joke, the cutie marks, popularity vs friendship, etc.. It was such a great idea that they did nothing with. Because they were out to sell toys. Because MMC ruined everything. It's a shame, really.

2749546

I mean, at the end of the day, yes, Hasbro wants more toys. That's going to be their ulterior motive to everything. And it always has been. But so as long as the writers manage to make good episodes, I don't see why that should be any more of an issue than it was back during the first couple seasons.

The problem is that these things build up. It's going to be increasingly difficult to build good stories as the show goes on, simply because of this baggage.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how good a given episode was because Twilight is still an alicorn princess and it's stupid. No matter what happens going forward, everything ever will have to bend over backwards to try and justify the princess storyline which was dead on arrival. And it won't stop at Twilicorn.

I mean, you had this season-long arc in S4 with the box and the keys, and that was something I really liked. I also commend them for recognising that the EoH were holding their stories back and subsequently getting rid of them. I'd praise them if they had tied the Tree of Harmony storyline into Twilight's castle storyline... but they didn't. Because Hasbro wanted a toy castle in Ponyville.

The best thing bout the finale is the resolution to Discord's arc. That was great! But he was never the point of it. The main point of that story arc was the chest. As it turns out, the chest was just a powerup that was invented specifically to sell toys. Tirek, in turn, was invented solely so that the mane 6 would need said massive powerup to defeat him. Everything comes back to A) trying (and failing) to justify Twilicorn and B) putting that hideous castle into the show. The point of it all, ultimately, was more toy advertisement rather than telling a good story for its own sake.

The writers do their best to build a good story around the heaps of shite that Hasbro puts down, but they can't remove the shite. They are plot tumours that are slowly spreading and becoming more numerous. The Tirek fight in particular comes off, to me, as a desperate bid to avert attention from how bad the main story was. "Look, Twilicorn was totally worth it. Look. Explosions! Isn't this awesome? Please say it's awesome." And I'm not saying it wasn't awesome, but this ain't why I started watching the show, y'know?

Like I said, it's not that the show is unwatchable or that every episode is bad now. I simply don't have faith in them correcting everything wrong with the show. I don't see how they could because their hands are tied. Even in a completely unrelated episode, they're still shoving Twilicorn into my face. And now they can't even have a shot of Ponyville without the castle in it. One can choose to ignore them, but it's only a matter of time before it becomes too much. It's a constant reminder as to the main priority of the show.

Because MMC ruined everything.

[T-MS]

Interesting, followed.

I'm not sure I'm into your claim that the cancer of mmc ruined season 4, but I'll definitely agree that there have been some botched consequences. I enjoy the show most when it's super slice of lifey. A lot of s4 reminded me of slice of life fanfiction and I definitely like that.

[ForlanceAbice]

2749474

And the thing is that even if this was the idea behind the show, the stories they're telling are coming up shallow by now. It's like you're saying: there doesn't seem to be much more room for Twilight to progress. This whole "learning friendship" thing has been dropped/dealt with. Twilight has reached lvl 99 friendship and got her special Alicorn prestige skin. She's also maxed out her magic skill.

One then has to wonder how this will affect the fanfiction and fan art side of things. (Oh wait...)

I would provide further walls of text commentary of my own, but I feel the response will inevitably be a foregone conclusion. In retrospect, your essay is indeed constructed to a solid standard. To the point where I cannot find a firm counter to the overall message of your article.

That being said, I doubt this article will have much of any effect on the majority of this site. As it is well known, the majority is always right. Or is it? To be honest, I feel exhausted by this franchise, not just mentally, but on a physical level too. To the point, why even bother writing fanfiction? No really, what is the point? What is the bloody point of speculation? Or even branching out into different universes independent and unaffected by further show development? The fandom itself is largely conformitive, thus I question why people even insist on keeping age old relics of the past. Canon is canon right? You cannot deviate from it. AU? Forget it. The fandom hardly cares for it.

I am going to stop here for the moment before the comment spirals out into an even bigger rant. If nothing else, it shall provide further fodder for anyone who may wish to use it to make a point. Apologies for the trouble Jawjoe.

[kaiju and pony fan]

Jawjoe. Don't call yourself the voice of the fandom. Because you're not. She has wings now. The Equestria Girls movies exist. Get over it or find another fandom. In fact this is you in a nutshell.

31.media.tumblr.com/77b3686152c473e9c9da370a63845e00/tumblr_ml9ieiEv6M1rcptiao1_500.gif

[JawJoe]

2776246

Don't call yourself the voice of the fandom.

I don't.

In fact this is you in a nutshell.

If you'd read the post, you'd know this isn't the case. This blog isn't a kneejerk reaction, but a result of lengthy consideration with actual arguments to back it up. Please be more respectful.

[kaiju and pony fan]

2776301 Oh, don't make me laugh. I was starting to see your point until you called people who like MMC idiots for doing so. At that point, any and all your arguments just frankly died. Also, way to bring back drama that should have died out in 2013. You don't like MMC? You don't like EQG? FINE. But try to understand that people LIKE THESE CHANGES ALRIGHT!?

[JawJoe]

2776306

I was starting to see your point

If you see my point, then you really had no reason to post that gif.

until you called people who like MMC idiots for doing so

I do have a reason to post this, though:
i.imgur.com/OQFNT.gif

In all seriousness, if you did in fact read the blog, then you saw that I literally said that it's fine to like stuff I don't. I'm not here to attack people. I wrote this to explain how MMC ruined everything.

[kaiju and pony fan]

2776317 NEWSFLASH!

It's 2015. This drama has overstayed its welcome. Get over it or find another fandom. Season 3 happened. MMC happened. People have gotten over it. I suggest you and the other commentators do the same because, guess what? FAUST AIN'T COMIN' BACK AND ALI-TWI IS HERE TO STAY!

[JawJoe]

2776322

It's 2015.

Bad ideas don't get better with time.

Get over it or find another fandom.

Just because I'm critical of the direction the show is headed shouldn't mean I'm not allowed to enjoy it any more. You're being awfully hostile and inconsiderate. Rather than discuss the merits and faults of the show, you just show the door to anyone who disagrees with you. That leads to an echochamber which is an incredibly toxic environment. Please stop.

Season 3 happened. MMC happened. People have gotten over it.

People complain about Twilicorn, and have been ever since it was first announced -- and rightly so. Newsflash: it's 2015. Complaining isn't going away. I suggest you leave the fandom if you don't like it.

See how terrible that is? Let's not do that.

ALI-TWI IS HERE TO STAY!

Which, as I explained in exhaustive detail in the blog itself, I think is a bad thing.

[kaiju and pony fan]

2776339 And I'm saying it isn't terrible. Also, this argument is nothing more but drama that should have died 2 years ago. Twilight has wings. BIG FUCKING DEAL. Characters go through changes all the time. All I'm getting from you is that you're nothing more but a Faustard. Oh, wait. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

[JawJoe]

2776347

Twilight has wings. BIG FUCKING DEAL. Characters go through changes all the time.

Change isn't the problem. The way it was done is. The blog explains why this change in particular was handled incredibly poorly. More than that, it explains the bad precedent it set for future episodes and plot development. Please refer to the blog.

All I'm getting from you is that you're nothing more but a Faustard. Oh, wait. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

Please stop with the personal insults.

[kaiju and pony fan]

2776353 Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I like her with wings. I like her better with wings. I hope she stays an alicorn. Yeah. I liked MMC. WATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT THAT?

[JawJoe]

2776360
I'm going to write you off as someone with very low standards.

[kaiju and pony fan]

2776364 Oh, there we go. There's the hypocrisy. You said you were fine with people liking changes but here you are judging me for what I said. WHAT A FUCKING HYPOCRITE YOU ARE.

[JawJoe]

2776365
I don't think you know what that word means.

[kaiju and pony fan]

2776373 Yes I do. You claim to do/don't do something one minute and then you do/don't do it right away. I know the word hypocrite like the back of my hand. You claim to not attack others' opinions and yet you call people who like MMC or Ali-Twi in general complete idiots for doing so. Yeah, I know a hypocrite when I see one and you, sir, are one.

[JawJoe]

2776377
I'm not saying that having low standards is a bad thing. It is not an attack. It is definitely not the same as being an idiot. Heck, I have low standards for a lot of things. (I'm also not very smart, but that's beside the point.)

Now, you've made it abundantly clear that you're not here for actual discussion, but only to harrass me because of my opinion. (Note that I didn't seek you out to tell you that your opinion is wrong.) I gave you multiple chances to stop with the insults, and you blew them one by one. Blocked.

Asshole.

[Tokensdorf]

I can tell that you like Twilight, or atleast did until MMC, and you feel like something should have been done about it, but the problem is that, as of now, no matter the writers do someone will complain about. I agree with you on that they should give Twilight some focus and development, but I do believe that they have plans for that, and the whole thing with MMC ruining everything, I can see and understand whoile you see it as such, but I would like to disagree if I may. Twilight got wings and is now a princess, she didn't get that much focus in season 4 and close to no development in her character, to which I personally enjoyed because I don't think it was needed, a lot of things happened and Twilight had to settle in at her own pace, so why should that be the focus as of now, the rest of the cast has the own goals, dream and problems needed to be dealt with, so I personally enjoyed and really liked what they did with season 4, but you would like to see things change for Twilight, the show and more, you do not think it is right to just change things in such a manner and then just cast it to the side, which I do not personally believe, but I can work with it. A lot of what I like about the show is that we do not have to see it, an episode or even a scene the same way, we can all make our own conclusion on what to think of it, and since you did not like Twilight becoming an Alicorn or even the episode in which it happened, then it is only understandable that you wouldn't enjoy what comes after as much as you would have been if ithadn't had happened. Different strokes for different folks, but that is way too easy to say and there's almost always more to it, all I can say is that you should wait and see, maybe the show will surprise you, maybe it wont, but I do not believe that it has jumped the shark or changed for the worse, I can however say that it has changed from what it once was, which I personally enjoy, it makes me feel like the show is growing, but it is understandable that others won't see it as such.

As MMC in and of itself. I believe it was rushed, I liked the ideas in it, I enjoy the episode, but I would have prefered if it was given more time, too many things happened too fast and some of the things were way too importent to be rushed, but as I have already wrote, I do not believe the episdoe ruined the show and the things surrounding it, if anything, I believe it made it possible for a lot more creative ideas to come out, but again, that's a personal opinion, as I see your essay to be your personal opnion. None of us can say who is right or wrong, we just see things in a different light and a different way, we will never be able to prove who of us is right about the topic at hand, it being in the majority or not, for it all comes down to personal preference and our own way of reading into things.

[AtrocityEquine]

....You're shitting me.

Twilacorn happened.
GET.OVER.IT.

If you don't like the damn idea, join BronyCanon on dA.

For fuck sakes people...

[JawJoe]

2776584
Consider reading the blog. See, I like the show too. Or did, anyway. I complain because I care about its well-being. Please don't think that the show is above criticism. It isn't.

2776510
I do think Twilicorn could've been a good thing. Like I say in the blog, the idea of Twilicorn is great. It's a massive shame about MMC being such a bad episode, and the precedent it set for the show.

I appreciate that you're not hostile like "some" other people. I get that some people like Twilicorn. I mean, I don't get why, but I get it. And it's fine. We can disagree and be friends. You're cool.

Also, where are all you people coming from? I just got like 50 views in an hour. Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket.

[Tokensdorf]

2776659 Someone linked to this page from Derpibooru.

[AtrocityEquine]

2776659

I can understand why you don't like, and I'll give you props, your rant is detailed. But honestly, Twilacorn happened. People shouldn't be complaining about it after 3 years the episode debuted.

Honestly for me, I saw no problem with MMC, just thought Twilacorn was too early on. Considering Lauren had plans for Twilacorn anyway, I just accepted it. I basically accept change with no problem as long as the show dynamic doesn't change. And for me, I didn't see that: Twilight was still her normal, adorkable self, just with wings.

[JawJoe]

2776740

Considering Lauren had plans for Twilacorn anyway

First off, no.

Second, Faust's opinions -- as she herself puts it -- are now irrelevant. I don't care, and don't think anybody should, about her stance on Twilicorn. What I do care about is what's actually in the show, and how badly the change was executed. I only brought Faust up in the blog twice: once for a gag, and a second time to show that she was keeping balatant product placement out of the show, which was for the better.

People shouldn't be complaining about it after 3 years the episode debuted.

I believe this is flat out wrong. As I've said before, bad ideas don't get better with time. That said, this specific blog isn't about Twilicorn alone -- it's about the lasting and harmful effect Magical Mystery Cure had on the entire show. It's not just Twilicorn. It's the removal of any pretence that the show is anything but a toy commercial. Before MMC, they did a good job of placing story before toy advertisement. MMC changed that, and we can still see the effects of it.

Twilight was still her normal, adorkable self, just with wings.

Which I think is a problem. Because Twilicorn isn't just Twilight with wings. She is Princess Twilight. This whole situation led the writers into what's essentially a trap: a no-win scenario where anything they do (and did) turns out wrong. Twilight being a princess should be a big deal. It should change things up, drastically even. But if it did, that would've ran the risk of ruining the core of the show.

So instead they went the "nothing changed" route. But if nothing changed -- if Twilight's ascension really didn't matter at all -- then why did it even happen? It invalidates three seasons' worth of story for nothing. I appreciate that they kept the characters they way we loved them, but they removed the story they spent so much time building. It's just bad storytelling all throughout. I can't enjoy the show if the story is being continuously asspulled to market toys, no matter how good the characters are.

But at this point I'm just repeating what I've already said in the blog.

Bottom line: if you like it, I'm really happy for you. But the show has already set a standard much higher than what's being showcased post-Twilicorn, which makes me sad. I'm not surprised -- since Twilicorn, I'm not surprised by anything in the show -- just disappointed.

[Tokensdorf]

2776815 Just one thing. Your everyting you're saying and your problem with the show after MMC and princess Twilight is, as I see it, more than anything you having a different perspective than those who disagree with you, and I would therefore prefer it if you wrote your replies to show that is opinion-based and not fact. The whole "the show is to sell toys" thing is there, there were both some before and after MMC, some more noticeable than others, but it's always been there, atleast from what I've seen. I just don't know, I would just like things a little better if we all just stopped talking like our opinions and conflicting viewpoints are facts and instead acknowledged that it is an opinion, and then when we have expressed it and others disagree, try to understand it from the perspective of the other person.

Personally, I actually prefer Twilight from season 4 more than I did in the previous seasons, she moved up on my favorite character ranklist (if I am allowed to call it that). She was not very present in season 4, it focused more on the other characters,but when she was there, I just felt she had matured a bit, tried to figure out how to fit in more after what had happened in MMC. I felt like she was a bit more grown, a little wiser, though still with a lot of flaws, as any character should have, but that's just the way I see it, and I just mentioned may just be me looking too deep into things, it may not even be there, but if it can make me appreciate her character more, then I see no problem with it.

I am not trying to make you agree with me, not even close, but I do think it would be better for all of us if could understand our different viewpoints (which, in and of itself, is entirely opinion based and could be wrong), though I do not know if I explained myself well enough for you or anyone to know what I was getting at.

[Wrabbit]

While I will disagree with you on your assessment that MMC is the death knell of the show, I will agree that it it was incredibly poorly handled and reeks of corporate mandate. I am cautiously optimistic about season 5, but I will definitely not be holding my breath any time soon.

Strange mares swimming in the aether distributing spellbooks is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical magical ceremony.

"I mean, if I went around, saying I was an Emperor, just because some mystical bink had lobbed a tome at me, they'd put me away!"

2749534
Upvoted. Where's my pizza roll?

[JawJoe]

2777166
Of course. Everything in this blog is my opinion. Explained in immense detail, but still just an opinion.

I didn't write this to change anyone's mind (on the internet, that's impossible). It was more about trying to figure out why I, personally, take issue with the show's current state. You're free to like Twilicorn, though I don't agree that the show handled that development remotely well.

The thing is that product placement is growing increasingly blatant in the show, the way I see it. What's worse is that it's increasingly going to the detriment of the show's quality and story; I consider Twilicorn and her new castle to be prime examples of forcing toys into the show where they have no place. I fear this trend will continue and grow even more prevalent. It's going to inhibit character growth and story development, because every plot thread has to bend over backwards to better serve as vehicles to sell toys.

I think. You're free to disagree.

Again, thank you for keeping it civil.

2778190
I really think they blew it big time with season 4. And that castle shows that this trend of forcing toys into the story is going to continue, no matter how little sense it makes. ...because MMC ruined everything. That's just my take, of course.

[ForlanceAbice]

2778410 It is only going to get "worse" from here. (But you already knew that.)

But hell, nothing can be done about it.

I have a question for you Jawjoe.

Why bother with this immaculate essay?

There is little to be done, other than straight up firebombing whatever Hasbro calls an HQ or threaten them with physical violence.
(And we all know just how well that will turn out to be.)

Or hell, why even bother with this site? With fanfiction at all?

Is there even any point to it all? I haven't seen much point in writing myself these days. Or for others to even write when the show shall provide. You've already seen my own rants on the forums of the Writer's Group, so you already are well familiar with my stance on fanon/headcanon alone. I myself wish to cut out the inevitable disappointment that will hit sooner or later. People will mold their own creations to suit canon creation, thus I see little point in even dipping a toe into world building. Or even write any fanfiction that isn't a slice of life. Anything, everything is subject to change, and will do so in the face of the show.

We have already seen it with the latest fanfiction, thus why not just get things over with and force canon unto those whom are the unwilling minority? Sooner or later they shall disappear from the fandom itself, and all that there will be left is the canonized portrayal of things. At least then, there would some modicum of agreement of what to reference in terms of writing fanfiction.

Or hell, perhaps jettison all the previous work here. The stories up to this point are only taking up hard drive space, of which I bet Knightly has better use for. It is inevitable, so why not surrender to the fate of it? You've already seen the hostile reaction from those like myself. (I unfortunately for the better or worse cannot rid myself of being attached to this community. Too much has been invested in terms of memories, yet such little power of hope of changing anything.) So there is no point to fostering further creativity in fanfiction. Just wait till the show is done and over with. Then people can create whatever fanon and head canon they want. Even if the community is pretty much dead of activity by then.

As you said, the show is pretty much fuck all in terms of story development. I myself see that there will probably be even more characters to further toylines along, perhaps even C&Ds from Hasbro to shut down fan projects, possibly even this site no less. To them, the brony fandom has worn out its welcome and more or less has become a parasitic detriment to their profits in some ways. They want a safe and marketable franchise. Bronies are the furthest thing from that. I have little doubt they will begin some systematic elimination of such hubs this fandom contains sooner or later. The question to me is when, not if it will happen. Or that is my pessimism talking.

But nonetheless, I do not even wish to comprehend how this will affect the fanfiction side of things. All I know is that things have gone south at this point. If anyone wants to preserve what is left of the fanfiction they hold dear at the present, it would be in their interest to begin archiving their fanfiction individually before the respective authors of those fics begin to make changes to "properly" reflect the current show canon.

Apologies for the lengthy ramble. Just needed to get this off my chest.

[JawJoe]

2778593
I've tried explaining this to you before, but I'll try again. Follow me through here.

People -- human beings, homo sapiens -- like stories. It's how the human brain works.

I am a human being. The vast majority of site users are also human beings. I assume you are also a human being.

Human beings like stories. We are human beings. Therefore we like stories.

We like hearing stories. In order to hear stories, someone else must tell a story.

That is where the writers come in. Writers are human beings who, in addition to liking hearing stories, are also able to tell stories.

Writers tell stories because they know other people like stories. Stories have inherent value because people like them.

Fanfictions are stories. Fanfictions don't usually line up with canon. Nobody cares about this. Fanfictions are stories; stories have inherent value; therefore fanfiction has inherent value.

Censoring stories you personally don't like is easily the worst thing a human being can do. It censors speech and censors thought.

Stop being an Orwellian nightmare.

[TailsIsNotAlone]

I never liked Magical Mystery Cure OR the idea of Twilicorn. I would argue that making Twilight an alicorn or a princess, at any time, in any fashion, would have struck me as inauthentic and unfitting for her character. She's a sorcerer, a librarian, a compulsive organizer, and a brainy researcher who dabbles in friendship. Nothing about that says "future politician or ruler" to me. So in my mind the change was never going to work. It was clear that Twilight was headed for big things, but alicorn princesshood was most emphatically NOT any of the big things I hoped for.

I am better at describing my feelings than at using logic or debating. I always knew that MMC felt wrong, but could make only limited arguments (and write a story of my own) pertaining to why. That's why this blog entry means so much to me. To simply call it good or relevant or fascinating is not enough. It is also an inspiration and a tremendous eye-opener, even more so than your story about the wings which BROUGHT me to the blog. It simply obliterates Magical Mystery Cure and the show's subsequent direction and does so logically. Not that emotion wasn't a factor--on the contrary, beneath your rational and meticulous prose an essay like this must also be a work of passion, a product of profound disappointment. To me that's just as impressive as the issues it raises (all of them relevant) and the case it makes for how Hasbro is ruining the show and why it doesn't care that it's ruining the show. People can agree or disagree with you as they will (I agree if that's not obvious already), but they can't deny that your heart is in the right place.

Maybe it's fair to say that Hasbro would inevitably ruin the show. The silver lining is that, for two seasons at least, it was a good show that I loved. It didn't have to be. (The previous three and a half versions of My Little Pony knew that fact and accepted it readily.) Lauren Faust and everybody at the studio in Vancouver made it good anyway. Perhaps no rational examination of this show can avoid the conclusion that it's slowly being run into the ground. But Hasbro's overpriced lumps of plastic will not destroy what Faust created. There's simply too much good, and too much unexplored potential even NOW, in those first two seasons. They can kill it but they'll never destroy it.

Like yourself, I will continue to oppose Twilicorn and its execution in my discussions of the show even though nothing I say will change it. Like Tom Servo once said, "sometimes lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for." And most of all, I will continue to appreciate a time when Friendship is Magic was, well, magic.

[JawJoe]

2803990
"Profound disappointment" is right.

And most of all, I will continue to appreciate a time when Friendship is Magic was, well, magic.

Let's be nostalgic together. I'll always try to remember FiM the way it started, and not the way it died.

[Todpole]

I haven't seen MMC or Season 4 and I don't plan to. I will say I have the thoughts of Twilicorn being a good idea being done too soon. The sad thing is I've seen the whole ascension/upgrade done before and after. I always use Bionicle (a LEGO brand) as my example as there was a story arc about Takura, a chronicler, finding the Mask of Light and along with his friend, to find the owner and it turns out he was the owner and becomes the hero of light. While it was a meant to sell toys like MLP, it was, as you said, more focus.
I also play a game last week which also had an ascension(Won't tell which game but it was a downloadable game from 2014) that could've been bad, but made the change more gradually and her purpose was explained at the end.

(P.S. Nice to hear they something with Discord, but I still don't like the "reformation", mainly because I don't find him funny.)

[Xelos]

In conclusion:

Magical Mystery Cure failed because of multiple reasons.

-Star Swirl's spell cannot be rationally understood; the only option is to ignore several blatant plotholes.

-The purpose of Star Swirl's spell is never stated; the audience is left in a constant state of guessing.

-Everything that happens after Twilight fixes the spell comes completely out of the blue; there is no buildup in the episode, or in the season, or even in the whole show.

-And most importantly, because Twilight's ascension is completely pointless; we are robbed of the excellent story that could've been told. Instead we get a couple of catchy songs.

Here is my retort.

1. I don't care.

2.I still don't care.

3. I actually enjoyed it.

4. You are thinking 'WAY' to much about this.

In conclusion: Your Drunk JawJoe! Go Home!

Seriously who cares. It's a surprisingly entertaining show that I'd never thought I would ever be into when I first heard of it. I'm not going to waste my time meticulously analyzing the intricacies of each episode when I can just relax and enjoy a show about colorful ponies doing silly things.