Fic recs, January 29th · 8:51pm Jan 29th, 2014
Yes, it’s that time once again: prompt submissions are still on through tonight for the next writeoff! The last one was pretty intense and the talent pool seems to only be increasing. Catch this one early for once!
H: 0 R: 2 C: 1 V: 0 N: 2
Just a Sunrise by Fervidor
Reading by Goombasa
Scribbler has, for lack of a better term, ‘collected’ a group of excellent readers, and Goombasa was one of the first whose names I heard. Therefore, it’s no surprise that he’s also one of the best. He gets an A on everything, with bonus points for having zero commentary.
Genre: Philosophical
This is not an amazing story, but that doesn’t keep it from being both good and powerful. I credit strong writing. It’s just that I found the opening somewhat bland, a litany of standard “Twilight adjusting to Princesshood” thoughts, and it didn’t pick up until the tail end of her conversation with Celestia’s guards. What follows is a rather memorable conversation about immortality, not to mention one of the best-characterized Lunas I’ve ever seen, even if she just has a cameo. This story is definitely worth reading.
Recommended
Small-Town Charm by Cold in Gardez
Reading by BigAshRandomVids
Genre: Comedy
This story sparked a heated debate on Chris’s blog, and since I wanted to get in on it, I’m giving it a read! I’ve wanted a story about Star Spiders ever since they showed up in the show as a one-off Thing, and I’m glad this is the story I’ve gotten. Gardez once again puts his prodigious comedy skills to play, taking Twilight from instant freak-out mode to calm, if unwilling, acceptance of a situation she does not like and can’t do anything about. And then the tonal whiplash sets in, because you can't have a Cold in Gardez comedy without it. I’m referring to the penultimate scene, which I’ve gathered has created something of a debate among readers. Really, I think this is a story about accepting not so much the things we can’t change as the panoply of life’s absurdities, which are more than a little pronounced when one lives in Ponyville. It’s about finding the good in situations that are otherwise annoying or disagreeable. I absolutely understand why that scene’s ending would have thrown people, though, as it breaks the mood completely. I think what this really needed was a strong message at the end about Twilight understanding the point of the “holiday” being building a strong community. It’s hinted at via her observation that there are fewer ponies on the streets in the final scene, but a more direct addressing of her understanding would have helped assuage some of the “Twilight is the bad guy” effects from the previous scene. Like all of Gardez’s stories, this one remains thoroughly worth the read regardless.
Recommended
Peeping Behind Locked Doors by RainbowBob
Genre: Peeping Toms
This one’s from the latest writeoff, and I’m more or less going to repeat my evaluation of it from the comments thread. I have major issues with this story, centering around the idea of Royal Guards being horrifically disrespectful to not just Celestia, but Twilight as well, to say nothing of their own positions. Like with Soarin’s Panty Raid, it seems I’m just not amused by this kind of behavior anymore, at least when there’s no repercussions for it. The worst that happens to the two guards in this story is they embarrass themselves. I will say that the punchline to the “it sounds like they’re having sex, but they’re definitely not having sex” joke was amusing, but I’d much rather it had been tacked onto the end of a different story.
Not Recommended
The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog by Rust
DNF: 3/26
Reading {part 1} by MultiFanficADay
Genre: BiE
I was going to vs. post this story, but I can’t force myself to listen to it. The problem with Brony in Equestria stories, I think, is that a large portion of people on the internet just are not that interesting. And, self-insert or not, I think a lot of authors turn up the “sarcasm” and “snark” in a misguided effort to make their characters interesting. This has the net effect of making them annoying at best and downright assholish at worst. Echo, unfortunately, falls into the latter category. This story starts off with a message direct from Echo to the reader that, while foreshadowing rather nicely, also paints him as less than personable. This is carried through the next few chapters as he spouts one-liners and pop culture references, compares Discord’s beard to his pubic hair, and refers to himself as “honorable” and “chivalrous”. These are not endearing traits. On top of that, we also get the standard lengthy description of all the different things that have changed due to his transformation (discussion point: how necessary are these passages to transformation stories?), not to mention he single-handedly defeats all five of Ahuizotl’s cat minions without a scratch. (Self-descriptions of how muscular and fit he normally was as a human also did nothing to endear him.) Now, I honestly could have dealt with a douchebag Mary Sue as the main character. Like I said, this story is set up rather well. While a large portion of the intro is very “Equestria is actually way more grimdark than you see in the show”, things that caught my attention include: Echo entering Equestria when Discord kicks him in the face (I was dying); meeting Daring Do instead of one of the mane six and being immediately thrown into a fight; and of course circumventing a lot of cliches in a well-tread genre by turning the main character into a Diamond Dog and not a pony. What got me was the start of chapter three. The first thing Echo says to us is that on his first day in Equestria, he got his throat ripped out; this happens at the end of chapter two, at the hands of Ahuizotl. I was very intrigued to see where the story would go: would he wake up on Earth again and have to get booted back into Equestria somehow? Unfortunately, the answer was Daring Do being able to “patch him up”. His throat was shredded. My suspension of disbelief thus horribly violated, I decided it was not worth pressing onward. First impressions are everything in writing, and I can’t say I’ve found a worse one than in The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog.
Not Recommended
One Lie by Cola Bubble Gum
Genre: Backstory
This is not a story about honesty so much as guilt. The emotions hit me the hardest while watching three separate ponies blame themselves for the death of Applejack’s father. I would hold this up as a very realistic look at what the Apple household must have been like during and after the deaths of AJ’s parents, regardless of how they died. Slightly less realistic is the death of AJ’s mother, owing to a certain set of hard-to-swallow circumstances meant to ratchet up the tragedy. At least the conclusion drawn by AJ to saddle herself with the blame for her mother’s death is couched entirely in speculation. This does overreach a bit, but at its core, no pun intended, the ideas are good, and as an “AJ parent death” fic, I appreciated it.
Recommended If You Like AJ Parent Death Fics
It's been over a week since the last journal. <.< The reason being I’m in the midst of two fairly long stories at the moment, so I don’t anticipate getting another journal out before the end of the month. Also, I felt like ending this with a picture of Snowdrop and Nyx getting drunk and kissing, so here you go.
Why is Snowdrop x Nyx even a thing...
Yep. This is kind of why Through the Eyes of Another Pony soured on me once I stopped reading and let it mull in my mind (main character not as interesting or charming as he thinks he is). I've got Ballad on my watch list and I'm not sure what to do with it now that I know it's got these problems.
1772001
Through the Eyes' characterization was more about of the author's own personality based coping mechanisms. Not meant to make the character himself feel more interesting. In fact, the majority of characters he interracts with either get annoyed by him or just think he's a bit loopy.
The rewrite is actually better at showing that while his attitude helps him deal it is as often a negative.
Also the author pretty much intended to write all the worst HiE tropes well. That was always his primary goal.
1772021
I guess, but I'm still bitter that the character gave me shit for liking soda instead of cigarettes. At least I have clean lungs, asshole.
1771972
Welcome to the internet. Would you like smoking or non-smoking?
1772028
Hah wat.
1772196
I remember one of Firewall's tangents going on about how soda was disgusting shit that nobody should drink. He preemptively brought up the cigarettes and the protest that they were much less healthy and just hoofwaved it away without any justification that I could remember. It rubbed me the wrong way. But maybe he edited that out of the story by now.
I think what people think about the ending of Small-Town Charm says a lot more about them than it does about the author; presumably that's one of the things that made me love it so much.
For what it's worth, I took it as Fluttershy trying to patiently explain to her self-focused friend that choosing to believe something fun and harmless doesn't mean that one's too dumb to understand that their belief isn't, strictly speaking, true; it's the arachnophile's equivalent of me putting up a Christmas stocking every year even though I'm a grown man. Twilight's been assuming that everyone in town is just an idiot, and Flutter's helping her understand that, yes, everyone knows they're just spiders... and maybe assuming that they couldn't figure that out on their own is a bigger deal than the spider interactions themselves.
Also, since I forgot to say this to you earlier: I pre-emptively forgive you for not liking Dangerous Business enough, i.e. as much as I do.
I'll admit, I don't get the Big Twist in 'Small Town Charm'. I just can't see it.
1771972
Because sometimes, a thing is far greater than the sum of its parts. :V
1772338
That actually makes me feel a lot better. :B
1772203
I do not remember that scene at all.
Might have glossed over it.
I do agree in part though. Cigarettes are far more hazardous to one's health, however
soda is worse than cigarettes in the sense that cigarettes offer something completely unique to cigarettes: the anti-depressant/stimulant nicotine; while soda provides substances that can be found in much healthier sources.
Snowdrop and Nyx seem super pissed off about that makeout session there.
1772640
inb4 hatesex
1772338
My main gripe with Dangerous Business is that Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie got left out of all the fun. I can see reasons for why that choice was made, and believe it or not I'm perfectly okay with best pony getting taken out of the picture so her friends can save her this time, but this is just one of those cases where I can't help but imagine what would happen if it went differently.
There aren't many times I'm moved to stir my stumps and type a response when I disagree, but this time I feel the need*.
I'm not finished with The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog. I'm currently about ten chapters in and I have to say, I think you were a bit hasty. Granted, it still has time to break my golden rule of 'The Ending Is Paramount' but some good stuff happens after the point you stopped reading and Echo himself does develop in some interesting, less annoying directions as the author finds his groove.
YMMV, methinks. I didn't fall in love/adoration with him, but I found the snark fun in a BtVS sort of way.
My main gripe, however, is that by stopping where you did you missed out on the more interesting side characters and plot developments that occur later on. Suspension of disbelief aside regarding his throat injury (one of my grandfather's army mates also has his throat damaged during WW2 and was saved by some very seat-of-your-pants stopgap 'surgery' by others in his unit, so maybe that was what made me more forgiving of that) Echo's story becomes quite compelling as it becomes less of a 'Brony in Equestria' story and more about an external observer getting embroiled in an internal conflict, with some rather imaginative worldbuilding along the way**.
Iunno, but this struck me as a very kneejerk reaction. You're well within your rights to stop (especially since that reader is a bugger for commenting on stuff and mispronouncing friggin' words all the friggin' time), but this is one of those fics that takes a while to get going. If you can get past the first impression, the worldbuilding alone is worth it, and Rust is a good author once he gets past his initial silliness.
Okay, so that's my ha'penny's worth. I don't expect it to change your mind, but my inner argumentative cow would not shut up until I wrote this.
*... the need for speed ...
** Bloodyhell, that sentence structure is awful.
1772021
Ehhhhhhhhh.
Is it really necessary to try and salvage all of the tropes instead of just the concept?
Besides, labeling the fic as "HIE done right" invites comparisons to Through the Well of Pirene, a comparison that's pretty unfair to the version of Eyes that I read.
1774235
Given what I'm doing with these reviews, "it takes a while to get going" isn't something I'm willing to put up with. Time spent waiting for a story to get good is time I could be spending reading something else. :B I've gotten all economical about reading, it kinda sucks. Were this story significantly more popular/noteworthy (I remember it constantly being in the updates on EQD when it was active, but I don't recall anyone really talking about it since), I'd have stuck it out.
But while the prologue seemed promising, by chapter 3, given that suspension of disbelief thing, I felt like the author had no idea what they were doing, and I wasn't willing to wade through chapter after chapter of irritatingly sarcastic one-liners and unrealistic plot devices to get to what I'm sure was something worth reading.
I've just never felt like "it gets better" is a worthwhile defense, at least not in the case of "it's terrible now, but just wait". My response is, well, why isn't it good now? Openings, hooks and first impressions are so important, and if I don't have a sense that my time spent now is going to be rewarded later, why should I devote any more time to a piece than I feel is necessary? I mean, Fallout: Equestria gets better, after fifteen chapters, at which point it's stupendous for about ten chapters and then waffles into a series of "I need more" followed by "why am I reading this?" (But then, that's FoE.) But because so much of that story was a slog, I don't exactly look back on it with happy memories. If I'd been reading it for pleasure instead of... whatever it is I do, I'd have quit after chapter five, and certainly after chapter 25. So no way am I gonna give something like Echo more than three chapters to wow me.
1774612
If you read the author's blogs, he was not trying to do "HiE done right", he made a drunken bet with friends that he could take all the most derided FiM fanfiction tropes at the time (HiE, brony, Mary Sue, ship with a canon character, etc.) and use them in a successfully popular and well written story. His argument was that terrible tropes do not make a story bad, it's just that they tend to most often be used by terrible writers. If a good writer was brave enough to try to use them well, they could still write a good story. And he was right.
Also, he wrote more than half of the original version making things up as he goes and drunk. Hence the rewrite.
1774235
When there are so many fics out there and so many of them are both very good and very long, any story that cannot attract a discerning reader's interest after a couple chapters should be abandoned immediately.
I have dropped stories after 2 paragraphs. I have avoided stories solely based on genre or characters or content.
I do not, in all cases, consider a story "bad" when I decide to abandon or avoid it. It is simply that there are too many out there for me to waste my time with something that does not hook me immediately. The market is too saturated to imply anyone should do otherwise.
1775467
None of what you're saying about the story or its author is really impressing me, but I see what you're saying. I get the appeal in wanting to write a story on the fly like this and tinkering around with stuff, but I'm not entirely comfortable with it being a representation of an idea that has a sketchy reputation to begin with. At least it's getting more polish.
Also, your comment makes me realize that I really need a better system for sorting through the stories in my read later list, all of which are pretty long by now.
1775596
Well 2/3 through he had sobered up and designed a riveting sci-fi plotline. The rewrite was mostly to make the earlier stuff fall in line with the good stuff.
The version on EqD is the original and the version on FiMFiction is the rewrite.
1775608
Gotcha. It's on my list, which I reiterate that I need to find another way to sort through instead of my current method of reading through everything on it in increasing order of wordcount. I remember one time where I was sampling FoE stories by only reading their first chapters (not including prologues) and picking which one I liked best and wanted to know more about, so... I guess I might just try that next, but for everything on the list.
1775621
I just give priority to the story types and genres I feel like at the time. So for instance today I will only go through crossovers. Tomorrow I might only look at comedies.
I do not treat my read it later list as if it was a list of stuff I need to do. I treat it like Netflix. A library of content that I can pick and choose from whenever I want.
1775631
Ha! I've been treating my queues on Netflix like a to-do list as well. But I need to learn a bit of flexibility in that case too, don't I?
1775467
1775596
I'm glad to have been privy to this conversation, as this information will likely serve me in the future. :)
1776539
Oh goody, you owe me a favor. You can pay me back when Through the Well of Pirene gets completed by bumping it to the top of your queue.
1776567
Find me an audiobook :V