YOU KILLED HIM!!! Pony #4: Rainbow Dash
Deadpool stopped in his tracks. He began to turn his head frantically; something wasn't right.
"Deadpool?" Fluttershy asked
"SHUSH!!!" Deadpool replied "My Rockwell senses are tingling."
"Rockwell senses?" Twilight asked
"♫ I always feel like, somebody's watching me!!! And I have no privacy!!! ♫" In a red puff of smoke, he disappeared!!!
"Deadpool!?!?!? Where'd you go!?!?!?" Deadpool teleported to one of the windows. A blur of multiple colors passed through the window."
That's our target.
Who is it? I need a refresh of the show.
Ugh. Alright, here's a hint: Taste the What?
... PEARS!!!
PEARS!?!?!? Alright, how about this: remember the colors?
Yes. A Rainbow.
Alright. This is the only pony with a mane of that color. Can you figure it out now?
... Pinkie Pie?
WHAT!?!?!? NO!!! That's it!!! You're Stupid!!!
No I'm not.
What's 9 plus 10?
... 21.
You're Stupid!!!
"Enough with the vine references." Deadpool told his personas. "We've got to hunt ourselves a lesbian."
OOH!!! It's Applejack!!!
UGH!!! NO!!! IT'S RAINBOW DASH!!!
Ooh!!! That was my 8th guess.
Let's... just... get her.
Deadpool Teleported away, landing on a nearby house's roof. He crouched behind the chimney & peeked over, seeing the champion of the young flyer's competition by a sonic Rainboom: Rainbow Dash!!! The rainbow mane & tail pegasus flew away from Twilight's castle with a scared look on her face: it's almost as if she saw a ghost or monster. This was, of course, Deadpool, that gave her the hibby jibees. She muttered to herself something in fear; most likely asking questions on What deadpool was, when did he came here, where did he came from, and why he was here.
Careful now; we need to show that we aren't a threat to her nor any other colored horse around here.
Nah, let's engage in fisticuffs with her!!!
"How about we do both!?!?" Deadpool yelled. He hid immediately, as Dashie turned her head around to see what made that noise.
I doubt that will work.
Deadpool pulled out a single brick from the top of the chimney he was hiding behind. He turned around the corner & stood up, and threw the brick at Rainbow Dash.
"M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN SUCKS!!!" Dash turned to the voice & red was being hurled to her face. She dodged it before it could hurt her, but the brick hit some other pony's house.
"HEY!!!" Dash yelled "What's your Prob-?" She stopped in mid sentence, as Deadpool was twerking, shaking his butt to the pegasus.
Work it out, man!!! WORK IT!!! Nicki Minaj will have to cancel her career thanks to us!!!
But... aren't we going to fight Rainbow Dash?
Fight? I don't remember anything about fighting.
BUT YOU SAID-
LOOK OUT!!!
Deadpool jumped out of the way: Dash used one of her back legs to stomp on the human, but missed. Deadpool slid to the edge of the roof, got up, and did a ridiculous Kung-Fu pose.
"Young grasshopper," Deadpool said, mimicking an old kung fu teacher "You have much to learn."
"I don't care who you are," Dash said "But I'm not gonna let some... thing, control my friends and plan to take over Equeatria. And no one, NO ONE, Shakes their flank at me!!!"
"...are you done yet? I got Tacos and they're getting cold. Is it alright if you could-"
"AUGH!!!" She opened her wings and flew to Deadpool, tackling him!!! Deadpool saw that they were backing from Ponyville, but into an open field, almost similar to where he was first summoned. Dash began to do a series of rapid punches to his face, followed be her grabbing his legs & slamming him into the floor three times before being thrown into the air!!! Dash began to fly back to him, repeating the same series of punches to his face again. She did a powerful kick with one of her hind legs, sending him up even higher, and a really hard punch, sending him near space. She flew to his back and punched him, sending him free falling back to earth!!! He was lucky to turn to his backside, as his back became erupt in flames as he fell really hard on the ground, causing another hole with his silhouette in it, with all his bones broken in the process.
"Deadpool!?" Twilight's faint voice was heard
"Mr. Deadpool?" Fluttershy's faint voice was heard as well.
Oh thank Celestia!!! The Tree & Nerd are here!!!
Let's just hope they see us. Come on, move your muscles!!! Rapid healing, remember?
"Oh yeah." Deadpool said to himself, feeling his bones cracking back in place. He lifted one of his hands up & climbed a bit slowly out.
"There he is!!!" Twilight yelled
"That's right. I'm here. Just give me a moment and we can-"
"LOOK OUT!!!" Fluttershy yelled. A huge 'BOOM' was heard. Deadpool looked up & saw Rainbow Dash heading right towards him, as she did her signature 'Sonic Rainboom'!!!
"OH S**T!!!" The last thing he said. Deadpool's body was crushed by the Super fast Pegasus, and he felt the bones in his neck were breaking apart, as well as his flesh: His head popped off his body, and, almost like a bullet, went super fast & really high into space!!! Twilight and Fluttershy stopped, both mouths dropped wide open. Dash came out of the hole, her wings flapping a bit, and she did some sort of celebration dance.
"Aw yeah!!!" Dash yelled "No need to thank me, just saved your lives from our second villain WITHOUT the Elements of Harmony!!! ... Uh... guys? Is there something wrong?"
"Something wrong!?!?!?" Twilight yelled "You killed Deadpool!!!"
"...Deadpool? Really? Thats his name?"
"YES!!! He just came here!!! He was lost, lonely, and needed help!!!"
"But he attacked me!!!"
"He felt something wrong and thought you were trying to hurt us!!! What were you doing anyways!?!?!?
"Oh... that? Well... I was busy with one of my naps when I saw both of you carrying... that. I thought it was some sort of cool prop, most likely a prank on some other pony, until he moved. I saw him move from one of your windows, and I evacuated when he seemed to do something similar to Pinkie's 'Pinkie Sense'. I didn't know who to tell, but then he threw a brick at me and shaker his plot at me!!! Something tells me he was evil!!!"
"RAINBOW DASH!!! He was confused and frightened he was being watched!!! Wouldn't you do the same?"
"I- well I- you- you're right." Fluttershy walked to the twitching, crushed, and decapitated body of Deadpool. Tears came out of her eyes.
"Oh Mr. Deadpool," she said to herself "I... just wanted to tell you... that... you were... actually... nice. You were... similar... to Discord... but I didn't know much about... you." Deadpool's sat right up while it was healing back to it's normal state before Rainbow Dash beat him up. The three ponies screamed a bit, backing up away from the body. The body got up from it's hole, walking past the three ponies, and stood still, holding it's arms out.
"What's it doing?" Rainbow Dash asked
"I have no idea." Twilight responded "Maybe it's trying to receive something."
"LOOK OUT BELOW!!!" Deadpool's voice yelled from above. They looked up and saw Deadpool's head falling from the sky. Deadpool's body readied itself to catch it's own head. It missed. Deadpool's head landed right behind him and rolled to Fluttershy's hooves.
"Nice going idiot." Deadpool said to his body. The body simply shrugged a 'I don't know' gesture.
" Deadpool!!!" Fluttershy yelled with glee, holding his head "YOU'RE ALIVE!!!" She hugged his head into her chest while snuggling it.
This would be SO MUCH BETTER if it was any other woman back home!!!
What about those ugly women?
Fine... any SEXY women back home!!! Especially those with HUGE BOOBIES!!!
Just be glad we HAVE people that care about us!!! Even if they are... well... ponies.
"How are you still alive!?" Rainbow Dash asked "I thought I-uh- well- killed you... though it was an accident."
"Ah don't worry about it," Deadpool said "This happens nearly ALL the time back where I come from."
"So... you're not angry?"
"Angry? NO!!! I'm rather impressed at how much you kicked my... plot."
Good to see you're not swearing
"Do you need me to-" Fluttershy said, holding his head away from her chest & turning him to her face.
"Oh! Yes, that would help. Hey Stupid!!! Hold still!!!" His body stood in place, not moving at all. Fluttershy flew to his body and gently placed his head on correctly. They were all amazed, especially Rainbow Dash, to see the body and head's flesh connect together, fully healed.
"How did you-" Dash stuttered
"It's one of his abilities." Fluttershy replied "He can fully heal almost instantaneously."
"And he seems to teleport anywhere." Twilight added
"Really?" Dash asked "Can you shoot lasers from your eyes?"
"Oh please no!!!" Deadpool yelled "Don't remind me of that!!!"
"Oh... sorry I asked."
"It's no biggy. We should remember this moment as 'The day Dashie and Pooley met'"
"uh... sure?" Deadpool slid next to Rainbow Dash and pulled out his cellphone
"SELFIE!!!"
"What are you-"
"Just go with it." Twilight and Fluttershy said at the same time. Dash made an awkward smile as Deadpool took the picture. He spotted it to his Facebook, showing off all the other heroes & villains on what he's doing.
"So," Deadpool said "what now?"
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I really don´t know why, i mean it, but i enjoy it so far.
5276873 That's because Deadpool is so Kawaii!!!
Discord would be fun.
Celestia, depending on personality used could be fun.
Same with Luna. See if you can have them wind up in bed together. Not sure who would be more horrified.
5277809 LOL!!! I can imagine it like this with Deadpool as Sonic.
This is sooooooo impossibly stupid!... But it's soooo deadpool! though the ponies are way more out of character than I'm used to seeing, It's deadpool, reality can SUCK IT!
M. NIGHT SHAMALAN SUCKS!!
Yup. You sure got that one right. Did you see that Avatar movie he made? Blows ass. I mean, the back of the water princess's head looks like a dick, and the nostalgia critic made a "what does she use as a head band? A censor bar?" joke.
*narrator voice AGAIN*
and so Deadpool took a selfie whit a wannabe lesbian....atleast thats what people say she is
and ate his COLD tacos
5818370 DEARS GOD IT WAS COLD!
Why didn't I find this story sooner? This is hilarious!
Is it just me, or is there 3 fucking explanation marks? Its like this entire thing is a text to fimfiction.
Deadpool!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!
Followed be you mean by?
Reminds me of 60's era Spiderman in Equestria, only the other characters are more in character.
I would throw a brick but not twerk tho
How was his phone not crushed? You know what it’s probably indestructible.
9338568
it's a nokia