Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

Brothers from Another Mother: Rumble and Thunderling

At Sweet Apple Acres, it was the Sister Hooves social. As word spread after Big Mac's action as Orchard Blossom, many stallions were now there with their little or big sister(s), but the most stand out of them were two brothers: a dark gray Pegasus with a light blue & white mane, and a light gray Pegasus with a darker mane color.

"Are you sure about this, Thunderlane?" the smaller Pegasus asked "It feels weird participating in the Sister Hooves Social."

"I'm sure, Rumble." The older stallion replied. "I'm glad Big Mac's actions made this possible. Come on! I'm sure that we can-"

"Oi! We got two more brothers joining!" The voice of Deadpool yelled. Both Thunderlane and Rumble turned to see Deadpool and Cable together, wearing matching kilts "Brother! You ready to take these brothers down!?"

"Wade..." Cable growled "I have no idea how I came here... nor how you convinced me to join this event... but don't...ever... call me a brother... again." Deadpool climbed his back and rubbed his index finger across Cable's face.

"You are so funny, Cable." Cable grabbed him and slammed him in the floor... Deadpool's head exploded upon impact.

"I'M LEAVING!!!" He turned and left through a portal. Deadpool stood back up, his head healing quickly.

"Fine! I'm joining these two bros!"

"Uh... it's a two team event." Thunderling replied.

"Attention Everypony!" Granny Smith announced "This here Sister Hoove's social is now a three team event! Find yer third wheel and let's get this here show on the road!" Both pegasus brother turned to Deadpool, who now had a large grin under his mask. 8 big glasses fell over his face along with a joint and gold chains, followed by a beat with some guys saying 'I am the one, don't weigh a ton, Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street'. Rumble slapped Deadpool before the annoying song could continue.

"Can you keep up without any... other random things?"

"Ya'll should know me!" Deadpool replied "I don't do random things; The writer does!" Both brothers just looked confused.

"I feel like I'm going to regret this." Thunderling said.

Dancing

All three 'sisters' wore matching suits & trenchcoats.

"What song is this, Thunderling?" Rumble asked his big brother.

"I didn't select a song yet, Rumble." Thunderling replied to his younger brother

"I did!" Deadpool said, appearing between the two. "Trust me, you'll both do just fine! And if one of you dances badly, no sweat! It adds nostalgia to this factor!"

"...And that is?" Both asked. Deadpool grabbed them both and flung them, and himself, to the stage.

"Here's a song by a gay guy!"

Jump Rope

Both Thunderling and Rumble, while jumped accordingly, not using their wings, Deadpool was showing off his physical prowess by jumping & balancing on his hands and... clapping his cheeks.

"You know you like it, ladies." Deadpool said.

"Uh... those are fillies." Thunderling spoke in mid-hop.

"Oh s**t! Hope that's not considered pedophilia!"

Juggling.

Rather than using his hands, arms, legs, or feet, Deadpool juggled the bowling pins using his pecs and... oh God.

"What!? It's censored."

The Race.

When Granny Smith, Deadpool ran 0 to-

"Racing here! Have some music! HYAA!!!"

What the-!? O...k? Well, Deadpool easily skidded over the mud with Thunderling & Rumble, hopped into the barrels, following the piano beat of 2 Chainz I'm Different, and easily jumped on and back flipped over the pile of boxes. For the pies, defying all forms of logic, Deadpool ate his pie with his mask on, imagining himself eat the booty like groceries.

Wouldn't that be just fattening in real life?

Or is she a sex slave owner?

...What the-?

I'm just saying. If she eats the booty like groceries, that means that she's rich to eat & buy so much groceries, so is she some sort of sex slave owner to do that?

...My mind is blown.

All three pushed the hay bale in their way as a team, then ran to the grapes. Deadpool began to squish the grapes while doing a Russian style dance.

"In Soviet Russia, Grapes crush you!" Deadpool joked. With grape juice made, they ran to the chickens coop, where Deadpool moonwalked out, balancing an egg on his head... and held Scootaloo.

"What the-!?" Scootaloot yelled "How did I get here!?"

"Obvious chicken joke!" Deadpool replied, sliding the egg off his head, to his arm, and into the basket with other eggs. He and the other ran ahead, all jumping over the hurdles, though Deadpool had on a Ballerina outfit while jumping, complete with a tutu & tiara. The line was a large sprint, and all three ran like they stole something! They would make it to first, but a long cow, recently milked, walked at the exit. Deadpool stopped as an utter swung and a drop of milk came from the end and headed to Deadpool's face, who's mask fell of from the sprint and stop.

"COW!!! COW!!!" Deadpool screamed and ran away in total fear! "COW!!! COW!!! COW!!!"

Everyone froze and watched as Deadpool ran away, tearing up hard as he crashed through everything, making Big Mac's incident as Orchard Blossom look like a simple accident.

"...Deadpool has a fear of cows?" Rumble asked

"It... looks like it." Thunderling rumble replied

"...I wanna go home."

"Same thing here. Wanna play some videogames?"

"Sure!" Both brothers left. Everyone else, however, made a mental not on Deadpool's fear.

Author's Note:

If you don't know, yes, in the comics, Deadpool has Bovinophobia/Taurophobia: The excessive and Irrational fear of Cows &/or Cattle.
DON'T LAUGH AT ME!!!

Comments

[FrostTheWolf]

xD.

[Sigmacipher]

Oh shit does that mean you could beat deadpool with the key of Tarus from Fairy Tail?

[Sharp77]

FUCKING COWS!!!!!

[MrAquino]

7100946 Most likely, though Iron Will is a bull, and bulls are technically male cows, so... maybe?

[Mal Masque]

Deadpool is scared of cows... Who knew?
I NOW HAVE A WEAPON!

[DarkSpider]

*Chuckles* That was good, but I have a question, why did you call him Thunderling?
-Dark

[DarkSpider]

OOOOH, can he meet those flower ponies? I feel like they'll have a real reason to faint with Deadpool around
-Dark

[Moon loving Changeling]

Ah Cows. LOL.

[SudokuBrony]

*Thunderlane

[Radioactive Dragon]

dead pool dont worry im scared of wooden cows wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/8/84/Cow.png/250px-Cow.png?t=20111122092216

[Base-Delta-Zero]

7101904

In the words of the Scout at the end of the music video for S.N.I.A. 'Piece A Piss',

"Ya frikkin' cow!"

(Said as Scout was chasing a wooden cow that was hauling ass through 2Fort)