My Anaconda. Pony #2: Fluttershy
"Now to send this over to my friends." Deadpool said, saying what he was texting "Am... now... in... Equestria... so... all... of... you... can... kiss... my... a$$... SEND!!!" A ding came from his cell phone and he looked at it "Oh, why am I not surprised?"
"What?" Lyra asked, trying to look at his strange device that could take pictures AND send to his friends
"Spider-Man doesn't believe it! He says 'whoa Deadpool! Nice Photoshop effects! I'm still going to chase you even after you disappeared on me'."
"You were chased before I summoned you!?"
"Let the audience at home figure that one out. I'm not going to say s**t on what I was doing before you summoned me here."
"...WHAT!?!?!?
"Is Ponyville around here?"
"...um... yes."
"AWESOME!!! We've got to get over there!!! I plan to take a Selfie with Everypony here and all across Equestria!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"...okay. But I think you're going to need a disguise; I don't think any pony will take comfort of a human running around."
"Oh B***h please!!! I already have a disguise."
"REALLY!?!?!?"
"I just need one more thing."
"What is it!?!?!?" Deadpool leaned over to Lyra, staring into her eyes. Without any warning, Deadpool's hands grabbed Lyra's mane and tore it out with a large 'RIP'!!! "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! MY MANE!!!" Deadpool put the ripped mane over his eyes and he ran away!!!
"NAILED IT!!!"
"GET BACK HERE!!!" She got up and tried to chase after him, but he teleported away instantly! Lyra stopped dead in her tracks awkwardly staring with her left eye twitching. "humans... can teleport... as well?"
Deadpool kept running blindly, not giving a single f**k if anyone saw him in his 'effective' disguise.
"YES!!!" Deadpool yelled like a madman. "IT IS THE RETURN OF YOUR KING!!! I AM YOUR GOD NOW, BRING ME YOUR VIRGINS!!!" Unbeknownst to him, he was actually in the backyard of a particular shy pony's home. A yellow pegasus with long & pink mane looked our of her window, only to see a weird, red creature running around in circles on two legs with mint colored tufts of fur over its eyes.
"Oh dear!" She said to herself "What is that creature? Maybe Twilight can help?"
I don't think that'll be a good idea. She may find it very dangerous.
"Oh nonsense, I think it's friendly." She looked outside the window again. Deadpool sprinted towards the window, still blinded by the tufts of Lyra's mane over his eyes. The pegasus ran away, jumping behind a wall into a hallway!!! Deadpool jumped through the window, did three rolls on the floor, jumped right onto his feet, lost balance, and fell onto his back, landing on the broken glass.
"WHOO!!!" He yelled "Breaking and Entering!!! 10000 points!!! GTA 6 MOTHA F***AS!!!" The pegasus looked over the corner to see Deadpool on his back, bleeding a bit. She quietly walked over to him, frightened at what he did, but still curious to see what it truly was.
"Um... hello?" She asked
"WHO'S THERE!?!?!? The Po-Po!?!?!? Please!!! I can't do another nickel!!! My sexiness mustn't be shown to criminals who wait for the soap to be dropped!!!"
"...Po-Po? Um... are you alright?"
"Of course I'm alright! What choo saying' Willis?"
"Willis? Oh no, I'm Fluttershy."
"...Fluttershy?"
"Yes. Can I help you?" He took off the tufts of Lyra's mane off his 'eyes' and saw that it was, for real, Fluttershy!!! He sat up a bit, but crawled backwards into the wall.
"DON'T HURT ME!!! I WASN'T IN YOUR SHED!!!"
"My... shed?"
"Where you Murder your victims!!!"
"Murder? What's murder? And what victims?"
"... Dammit Wade! This must be the CANON Stuff with some fan stuff involved."
"Canon stuff? Fan stuff?" Deadpool looked back at Fluttershy: her innocent eyes stared right into his soul, and his heart melted like a bean burrito in a microwave. He gut up on his feet and wiped off the broken glass.
"Hey, can you, uh, take the glass out of my back?"
"I thought you said you were fine?"
"I am! I... just need you to take the pieces out." Fluttershy opened her wings and flapped behind the mercenary's back. A couple of large pieces stood out like sore thumbs.
"Are you sure about this? I can take you to the hospital and they can-"
"F**K OBAMA CARE!!! RIP 'EM OUT!!!"
"Okay!!! Okay, calm down! I didn't get your name yet." She started to take out the glass pieces
"My *ow* name is *ouch!* a sec- *YEOUCH!*ret. But you *Oh god!* Can call *Holy S**T!!!* me *MOTHA F***A!!!* Dead-*HNNG* POOL!!!" Flutters spat out the last of the glass pieces. She stared at his back as it quickly healed in less than a few seconds.
"How did that happen?"
"What? How I saved 15% or more by switching to GEICO?"
"No! How did you heal so quickly!?"
"Oh! That! Well... long story short, I'm experimented on by a Canadian Hokey team to become the ultimate American Weapon... made in China."
"I've never seen something like you before."
"Yeah, I know! I just got here by Overhyped Fan girl #6969696969696969 who really wanted to meet me for my huge, black, juicy... personality."
"...you remind me a lot about one of my friends."
"They all say that."
"Really?"
"Yeah. B****es love Deadpool. After all, ♫My Anaconda don't! My Anaconda don't! My Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!!!♫"
"You have a pet Anaconda!?!?!? WHERE!?!?!?"
"... C'mon Deadpool, Remember: these are ponies; they have more self respect than those girls who twerk for attention on Vine.
"Vine?"
"Say! Want to take a picture to remember this!?!?"
"That... would be lovely. I'll get the camera."
"No need to! I have one!"
"Really!? Where?" Deadpool took out his cell phone with his right arm, lifted it in the air, and put his left around Flutterhy's head.
"Smile!!! Hashtag Selfie!!!" Fluttershy did a cute smile as the picture was taken. Deadpool got up and sent it to his 'friends' online. He looked up and noticed his mess. "Say... do you want me to clean this mess up? I can help pay the damage."
"The clean up would be nice. I'll pay for a new window. It was barely working anyways."
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It'll be interesting when he finally runs into Pinky.
The 4th Wall will end up so violated, it'll be huddled in the corner, sobbing, by the time that's all over of course.
This is amazing. Can't wait to see what's next.
5253141 that... I never knew that. Thanks! I'll have to add that to the next parts with an explanation on why they weren't available
5252763 I luv ur pic!
5254390 Yours is... interesting.
5254914 yours is too, but in a more lighthearted way... *blood drips from right eye* Oops! sorry about that! Its "Totally" normal! :3
5254921 *Picks up a Jesus-Pony plushie* Protect me lord.
5254925 *burns your plushy in a flash of sickly green fire* that's not going to help you, not at all. After all, 'What is a God to a Non-Believer?' *Eyes drip sickly green fire and my Mane and tail burst into green flames* *My coat turns black as oil and green fiery tribal patterns fade burn across my body* What I am is not death, nor is it life, I am neither Heaven, Nor Hell, I. Am. PURGATORY!
5254958 DEADPOOL POWERS, ACTIVATE!!!
5254973 *throws your video into a portal to the Void* That was quite annoying and hilarious, but it will not save you. *grabs you and throws you into another portal* HEY! WHEN YOU GET THERE! TELL OL' PYRAMID HEAD HIS BUDDY PURG SENT YOU! HAVE FUUUUUUN~
5255013 *Lands near Pyramid head. Looks down at me* Your Buddy Purg sent me. *Pyramid head gets Kawii eyes*
*2 hours later*
5255022 *I come in on a teleporting scooter with discord* Sup PH! how you been?
5255030 *Stand near a fallen PH as he's having a seizure* Pyramid head caught too much dance fever. Hey Discord! How's Fluttershy doing? Married to her like in "Bride of Discord" yet?
5255085 Discord: "ah shes fine, we've got kids too! :3 Me: "hold up, I got dis... *Deep Inhale* HUZZAH! HERMORJES EX MORTIS!! *explosion!* DONE! :D
(go to 0:20)
5255232 *Get blown up to the roof, I break through the ceiling, landing her Fluttershy.*
Flutterhsy: Oh dear! Are you alright?
Me: Of course Flutters. *Foal with Fluttershy's mane & tail, but having Discord's colors comes from a corner of her house* Aw. What a cute child. You should name 'Im Peanut.
5255279 *I teleport in* HEEERRREESSS- *gets clotheslined by Jesus pony* Jesus pony: ...No... just no! Me: uuugh...ok... *THEN SUDDENLY! VINYL SCRATCH AND HER BASE CANNON WALK IN!*
I am moderately interested. Keep up the good work.
5260985 Thanks.
I will just put this here.
5263843 And I will leave this here:
5265402
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081023004830/uncyclopedia/images/7/7c/Themoreyouknow.jpg
5254973 I just wasted 10 minutes of my life.
5272645 Make it thirty
"Oh dear!" She said to herself "What is that creature? Maybe Twilight can help?"
I don't think that'll be a good idea. She may find it very dangerous.
"Oh nonsense, I think it's friendly."
Did the narrator just talk to Fluttershy? I thought only Deadpool could hear narrators...
5252373 it will be a bloody crying mess on the flloor.
How can a window be barely working? Was it made of concrete?
ITS EVERY WHERE! THE ADS TEH ADS!! THEY ARE NOW IN STORYS! THEY TOOK IT TOO FAR! Edit: sponsered by a lizzard that owns this place
Pony.mov references galor, who can forget?
No just no
HOW DOES A WINDOW STOP WORKING?
does it magically turns into a wall? 
Was this made after the episode of ultimate deadpool?
Wwwwhhyyy do you take the time to *** cusswords? For Deadpool no less . shame
Also
DON'T HURT ME!!! I WASN'T IN YOUR SHED!!!"
I died
7175302 I just realized while reading that this fandom has given me aids.
Very accurate XD
5422118
or a cherrychonga
7747588
Me too brother, me to...