Arrival. Pony #1: Lyra Heartstrings.
In a beautiful day in Equestria, somewhere, right in between the town on Ponyville and the dreaded Everfree Forest, a mint colored unicorn sat in a field with some stuff. Some of this said stuff were mostly snacks and a small water bottle, but the real object being used by the unicorn was a book labeled 'summoning 101'. she skimmed through the pages until she landed on one pacific page: Humans.
"Alright then," the unicorn said to herself "today's the day: I'm gonna get myself a human!!!" she skimmed through the pages, quickly reading the words on how to summon her very own human, but trying to contain all her excitement. She closed her eyes and concentrated on making her spell. Her horn glowed a green aura, and it shot into the sky!!! A moderately sized, swirling, green vortex opened in the sky, staying there for one or two minutes.
"OH S**T!!!" A voice yelled inside the vortex. A red blur came out in super speed, and the vortex disappeared as soon as it came out. The unicorn sprinted to where the red blur landed, seeing it crashed through ground a bit, at least three feet, with it's silhouette most likely being in the ground forever. The outline was definitely human, and she was breathing fast. A red hand came out of the ground, grabbed onto the 'ledge', and the figure climbed it's way out. Almost dramatically, the figure stood: it was a human!!! It was a male that wore read all over it's body (including the face area), had pure white eyes, some black around it's eyes & hand areas, and had a belt with what looks like it's own face as the center.
"Oh...my...gosh!!!" the unicorn began to hyperventilate "A REAL HUMAN!!!"
" OH MY GOSH!!!" the human screamed in a woman's voice "A DEMON HORSE!!!"
"Demon horse? Where?"
"YOU!!!"
"Me?"
"YES YOU!!!"
"Oh no, good sir, I am not a 'demon horse', I am a unicorn."
"...seriously? A... talking... unicorn?"
"Yep. I'm Lyra Heartstrings. What's your name?"
"Really? You don't know who I am?"
"No... we just met." The human face palmed himself.
"Alright... Lyra... The name is Deadpool!!!"
"Deadpool?"
"That's right!!! Tell me, where am I?"
"You're in the land of Equestria."
"Equestria? Oh s**t! I remember now!!!"
"Remember what?"
"This is Equestria!!! the land from my favorite show 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'!!!"
"My little pony?"
"That's what you are!!! You're Lyra Heartstrings!!! The bronies made jokes on how you wanted to be a human really bad!!! They even made a sex doll of you!!!
"Sex doll!?!?!?"
"Oh! TMI, now, say goodnight!"
"But it's the morning."
"I know, I've always wanted to know what rare meat tastes like, and what better way than unicorn!!!
"YOU'RE GONNA EAT ME!?!?!?"
"That's right! Hold still while I- hold on." His hands reached over his back to pull something, but couldn't find anything. "MY SWORDS!!! NO!!!"
"So... do I live?" Deadpool fell on the floor, rolled into a ball, and sobbed hard
"I... guess... so... I... won't... be... able... to... kill... here... I... guess."
"Well... what's that next to you?" Deadpool opened one of his 'eyes' and saw his gun.
"YES!!! My gun!!!" He opened it and looked inside "ONE BULLET!?!?!? Oh well... I guess this is a f**ked up nightmare, I might as well wake up." He placed the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Blood came out of his head and he fell to the floor.
"DEADPOOL!!!" Lyran ran next to the body of the weird human that wanted to eat her. She placed her head on one of his shoulder and began to wept. The body suddenly twitched a bit, and started to get up. Lyra backed up, completely freaked out!!! The hole in Deadpool's head was quickly healed, and he released a long yawn.
"Oh man. That...was a weird dream. Now to find wolfie and- OH F**K ME!!!" He turned to Lyra. "Alright! No more fooling around! You!!! Send me home!!!"
"What?"
"SEND ME HOME!!!"
"I'm sorry sir but... I... don't... know... how... to." Deadpool's eye twitched. He got up and marched to Lyra, muttering some things under his breath, and looked like he was going to hurt her. Lyra cowered a bit, whimpering. Nothing happened. She looked up and saw Deadpool standing next to her. He was breathing slowly, and trying to lose tension.
"It's okay Deadpool, just try to remain calm. You may need a break from all those adventures anyway. Just... resist urge to kill for now. Someone... or 'somepony', may have the way back." Lyra slowly and carefully walked to Deadpool. He looked at her and she cowered a bit. He extended his hand and began to scratch behind her ear. Lyra's eyes opened on impact, then went halfway shut, as she now in a trance. "I almost forgot the feeling of petting an animal. I just hope you horses are smarter than that mutt back at home." He pulled out his cell phone "OH SWEET!!! FREE WI-FI HERE!!! AND FULL BARS!!! This is much better than I thought!!!"
"What are you talking about?" Lyra moved his hand away from her ears.
"Hey! Come here!!!" Lyra walked to Deadpool. Deapool reached over her shoulder with her right arm and, using his left, carried the phone over them.
"What are you doing!?!?!?"
"Taking a selfie!!!"
"What's a selfie?"
"Back where I come from, A selfie is an annoying thing women do to try to make themselves beautiful to beat their friends & enemies in many social networks. I'm only doing this to show everyone back home where I'm at!!!"
"So... smile?"
"SMILE!!!" They both smiled as the picture was taken. "I may actually enjoy it here. Today, is a day, where Deadpool rules Equestria!!!"
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Deadpool's dialogue was great, and I loved the story. Just one thing..
May wanna fix that.
5248228 I really believe Lyra would still care for something, ESPECIALLY when it's a human. Even if the human is random, dangerous, and invincible. Still, more will come later as Deadpool will meet more characters with EVEN MORE shenanigans to come.
I love this story! Make deadpool meet Twilght next! I can imagine that, him being bored like in his video game! Or pinkie pie, for both deadpool and pinkie are crazy, but I won't dictate what you choose. This is only a suggestion. But I can imagine deadpool with either one! XD
5248335 Also forgot to say this, but make him meet Fluttershy. I can see him liking her the most.
I have another thing to say also. Ah-hem. Did they seriously make a sex doll on Lyra?! O_O please be kidding
Oh god yes. The fucks given shall reach an all-time low shortly.
Next, I say fluttershy.
Mmm... Fumes...
Rainbow Dash scene where they race, but Deadpool leaves her hanging.
5248358 sadly, no. That is FOR REAL!!! It was so famous for it's description, though most of us make fun that was something else (Socker Boper gloves, mug, pencil holder, ECT.)
i.imgur.com/L7wWROk.gif
5248940 Ewwwwww why does that exist?
5248975 OH GOD!!! THAT WAS ACTUALLY FUNNY!!!
5249060 yes, I agree, it's disgusting!!! But, there do exist people like that so... Love and tolerate them, I guess.
Hmmm, interesting, always good to see old Deadpool continuing the good work of messing with all reality everywhere! Also, Twilight Sparkle...just to kill more of her sanity and finally get her into the mind set Discord SHOULD have gotten her into during return of Harmony...AKA Smarty Pants Incident Twilight...but with Cocaine involved...making Twilight the next SNOWFLAME!!
:hint: :hint:
5249521 Yeah, I guess
I am not sure if i will like everything of it, but right now it looks like i could enjoy the story.
Maybe he should meet one Background Pony again befor the Main six got alarmed, or maybe Rainbow Dash.
I mean she is attacking everything on the first sight, maybe she accidently kills him again.
I would say Celestia and Luna AND Discord, should not come to soon, maybe Pinkie Pie should wait too.
Maud.
Do you think you can color the dialog of DP's voices so we know which one is talking? Like for example the crazy voice would be yellow, and the logical one would be light blue.
That was... strangely entertaining, even with the plethora of writing and formatting flaws.
And you lost me
5400765 i know right maby its just deadpool is entertaning
...... May someone have mercy on Equestria... can someone felt the needed more Deadpool....
dammit i cant stop having a grin on my face from just 20 lines......
Well at least she didn't cut of his hands and stab him ....37 times in the chest
Decided to give this a shot due to the interesting premise but, good lord, those are some pretty bad grammar issues.
You really need a proofreader for this story, because as it stands it's a bit hard to read.
A little too much dialogue honestly, not enough mental picture.
red
6160150
Sssssh.
Deadpool dresses in the color read.
Needs more character action. Too dialogue heavy. I'll keep reading for now.
6476825 There ain't enough dialogue. Where are the voices in his head?
Classic Deadpool
, and you have my attention
Er are ocs ok for submission couse mine can help if he gets to phsyco
Hard to read. One glaring thing:
It's vs its
like
I'm vs mine
not the same.
6782092
My balls went into my body from reading this.
Cringe.
Deadpool
media.giphy.com/media/3rgXBOPGNwvpKuzaBq/giphy.gif
6958974
umm what?
As per usual for Deadpool fics, I have no idea what I'm looking at. That being said, seems all right so far.
Hahahaha! I laughed more then I expected at that. Very funny, and very good start!
AHHH DEMON LLAMA. Ah where. Kuzko joke
This is pretty hilarious
But that nearly killed it
he technically did kill himself then and there.
red
his or its [Better his as it has been defined that he is a MALE human...]
his
8363943
Na he’s Deadpool he can break the 4th wall and say f u to the universe
you have perfectly captured deadpools personality
, now i cant wait till he wreaks havoc across equestria simply by 
being himself
Literally the first ever fanfic I read in this fandom. Helped me get into the entire thing. Just wanted to say thanks for such a hilarious story.
9488153
Thanks. Enjoy the rest of this fic.
very enjoyable