Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

Snootieness: Ponies 155 & 156: Jet Set and Upper Crust

Deadpool jumped through the window, flipped in the air a couple of times, and landed on a table. Some of the ponies noticed and applauded.

"Thank you! Thank you!" He replied with a bow "I'll probably be here all week."

"Oh dear!" The sound of a really snooty stallion spoke "Look, honey... the human's here."

"Ugh! Him? Here?" An equally snooty sounding mare spoke "I didn't know the circus's clown escaped." Deadpool turned around to see a gray unicorn stallion with a darker mane, wearing what looked liked a yacht club outfit, and a yellow unicorn mare with a purple & white mane.

Who the hell do they think we are to talk to us like that!?

Ugh... Jet Set and Upper Crust.

Wait... you hate those guys!? I thought you were the snooty one!?

I do prefer the high life, but these ponies give rich people a bad name.

"We better leave," Jet Set said "we don't want to be late for our croquet game."

"I bet he doesn't even know how to play it." Upper Crust added. They both let out a snooty laugh, lifted their heads up, and walked away.

"Hm... this calls for desperate measures," Deadpool said, putting on a monocle "Fancy style!"

The two mares arrived at the meeting.

"Sorry we're late," Jet Set 'Apologized' "We just saw Equestria's most talked about monkey."

"A monkey?" Upper Crust asked "I though it was a mannequin." They both laughed.

"... Are you talking about Deadpool?" the croquet mare asked

"We do." They both replied. She checked her list.

"...Ah! He's actually part of the croquet club!"

"WHAT!?!?!?" The two ran to see Deadpool wearing a golfer's outfit, knocking a ball with a mallet through a hoop. Some of the viewers 'applauded' by stopming their hooves. He turned to the two.

"Ah! 'Allo there, Mr. Jet Set and Mrs. Upper Crust!" Deadpool greeted, tipping his hat. "Wonderful day for a game of croquet?"

"...What are you doing here?" Jet Set asked "You know this is a high class meeting?"

"Oh! I know the high class! I'm already fancy enough."

"I think he means wearing his underwear inside out." Upper Crust said to her husband.

"Hold this." Deadpool tossed a pair of white underwear onto Uppercrust's horn... and she panicked as she spotted a brown stain. Deadpool whacked the ball again, this time, going through several hoops. He took his dirty underwear off of her horn. "Thanks!" He pulled the bottom of his mask off and bit into a surprise in the underwear. "Mmm... nutty." The two's cheeks perked, but they swallowed it back. "Heh... It's chocolate! Not poop."

"You... you beast!" Upper Crust shouted.

"Yeah, I'm a beast at Croquet!"

"You monster!" Jet set added

"Of course; I'm a monster at winning!"

"How can you be this ignorant!?"

"Hm... how can you be some little d****ebags that think of themselves as being higher than anypony else, especially those who are entitled to both the elements of Harmony and are personal friends with Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle?" His mouth stayed open. "Heh... I didn't think so." Another swing. "And that's game!" Jet Set shook himself.

"Oh no! This is no game! Deadpool, I challenge you to a game of GOLF!!!" The crowd gasped.

"OOH!!! Time to Tiger Woods this!"

Both Jet Set and Deadpool stood, wearing golfer outfits. Upper Crust held her husband's bolf bag, and Deadpool had Moondancer with her.

"I never thought I'd be in a reserved golf course." Moondancer said

"I've had, multiple times." Deadpool replied "And most of those times, I was on a job... or intoxicated... and without clothes on."

"Enough of your chit chat, Deadpool." Jet Set spoke. "Take your swing!"

"Alright then! Monndancer! Driver, please." She gave him his driver. Deadpool took a few steps back and swung with a satisfying 'Whack'! The ball landed near the hole... then turned and went into the hole. The audience clapped! "HOLE IN ONE!!!"

"What the-!?" Jet set and Upper Crust yelled

"Hot Shots Golf logic, baby. Your turn." Jet Set grumbled to himself and took his gold club. Another whack and the ball went into the hole, only to pop out immediately. "Ooh... not good."

"Shut your trap!" Jet Set growled "We have 8 more holes to go!"

7 Holes later

Nearly all of Canterlot watched the two play golf, both princesses watching, though, with Deadpool, Luna gave him a flattering look that, unfortunately, made many of the foals point at Deadpool and ask their parents if he's a unicorn. The score was simple: -8 for Deadpool, and -7 for Jet Set. Both were putting their balls in.

"Your turn, mate." Deadpool said.

"...Thank you." Jet Set replied. "And please, your Unicorn horn is growing again."

"That ain't no horn, but it knows who it's growing for." Jet Set blinked, but refocused on the ball. A swing, and the ball went into the hole.

"Birdie." Luna spoke. "Deadpool, if you get a birdie on this round, then you win this round and-" Deadpool putted the ball in. It went into the hole. He took off his mask.

"Let's get it on!"

"What!? Deadpool! That's for-!" He grabbed her by the back of the head and made out with her. Though she resisted, Luna gave in and kissed Deadpool back. Everyone groaned and gagged at the sight of Deadpool and Luna making out with each other. Both Jet Set and Upper Crust just stared with their mouths open, completely shocked by the sight. Upper Crust was the first to turn around and puke. Then, the paparazzi came and took pictures of the two making out, and somewhere, TMZ is closed for showing these leaked footage, but was burned to the ground by Bronies, Marvelittes, and anyone who hated the show, finally realizing that it was stupid as hell..

Author's Note:

... I'm tired... goodbye.

Comments

[Moon loving Changeling]

Great chapter. Well worth the wait. ~hug

[DarkSpider]

*Chuckles* That was nice. I know another pony he should meet. There's Trenderhoof, Lightning Bliss, probably Fleetfoot and Misty Fly, considering Rainbow becomes a Wonderbolt in the next episode, Brawny Buck, the list goes on.
Dark

[Rathorc Lemenger]

Please do more chapters. Otherwise I shall give you my patented Uber-Puppy-Dog-Eyes.

[Sigmacipher]

Aww...don't leave we'll miss you...

[MrAquino]

7176651 No, not like that. Just feeling tired.

[Radioactive Dragon]

7176537 i want hugs :(

[Moon loving Changeling]

7178219 Free hugs for you. ~hugs

[Radioactive Dragon]

7178225 :D

[Sharp77]

...............I STILL CANT BREATHE.................

[Radioactive Dragon]

hey lets throw this guy in the story orig06.deviantart.net/ca46/f/2009/113/8/0/angry_marine_by_whymrpink.png

[MrAquino]

7191497

[KVFFour]

7178225
What about me?