"Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch." Grif yelled, landing on Tucker.
"Hey get off of me asshole!" Tucker kicked Grif off of him, just for Simmons to land on him right after.
"Man I hate you guys." Tucker groaned.
"The feeling is somewhat mutual." Grif said, getting up.
Tucker, Grif and Simmons got up, Tucker still holding onto his groin for dear life.
"Where are we?" Simmons asked. "Is this heaven?"
"No, it isn't." Sarge said. "This is uh... where is this exactly?"
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity just stood there confused, unsure of what was happening. All they knew is that everyone who was tied to Caboose seemed to be just as wrong in the head.
"Hey blue, you okay over there?" Sarge yelled.
"What the fuck do you think asshole?" Tucker yelled back. "I squashed my love stick."
"What is with the ponies?" Grif asked. "And why are they staring at me."
"Why are YOU staring at US?" Rainbow Dash replied.
"Holy shit they can talk? That's pretty fucking rad."
"Why are you here?" Church asked.
"Well, that Carolina person said that you have been in here for far too long, so she sent us to get you." Simmons said.
"What? Why? We've only been in here for like two minutes." Church said.
"Yeah, she really wants you out of here." Simmons said.
"Yeah, and she sent a message with us to give it to you." Grif said. "She said she will kill us all if you don't come back in the next day. In hindsight I probably should have been a bit more worried."
"You aren't exactly the whining type." Sarge said. "You're more of the sit around and do nothing kind of type."
"You really know how I tick." Grif said with sarcastic sincerity.
"Well, we're having a little trouble getting Caboose back." Church explained.
"Why?" Simmons said.
Church motioned towards a blue pony sitting huddled up to a pink one.
"What?" Simmons asked. "What do the blue and pink ponies have to do with anything?"
"Hey Simmons." Caboose said. "How's it going?"
"Fine Caboose." Simmons said, his head whipping around a second later in realization. "Wait... Caboose... are you a horse."
"For fuck’s sake YES he is a horse." Church said. "Can we actually take a minute to focus for one second?"
"Dude, did you really just ask that question?" Tucker asked. "I mean don't you know ANYTHING about any of us?"
"You're right. I wasn't thinking. Why would I think any of you would be smart enough to-" But Church was cut short by a flash of white light. "What's happening?"
"I don't know!" Tucker said. "Is it a flashbang?"
"Fucked if I know." Church yelled, eyes closed due to the brightness.
"Oh fuck, I don't want to die! There's so many things I haven't NOT done yet. So many things I haven't slept on!" Grif yelled.
"Calm down and open your eyes." Said a serene, calming voice.
Soon the reds and blues opened their eyes to find themselves in the middle of a large room, with towering pillars and a red carpet leading to a door. On the other side, however, was a raised platform with a throne sitting on top. Sitting on the throne was a large horse, with a sparkling, flowing mane. The six sat in the middle of the room, gawking at the magnificent creature. They sat for a couple moments just staring. After what seemed like hours, someone spoke up.
"Hi! My name is Caboose. It's a pleasure to meet you. I like your hair."
"Thank you Caboose." She said. "My name is Princess Celestia, but you can call me Celestia if you wish."
"Oh okay. Hello Princess Celestia!" Caboose said, getting up.
"Why does shit keep happening to us?" Tucker said, still holding his crotch plate. "Why not anybody else in the galaxy. Surely god would have ran out of patience with us."
"I think you've been chosen for a reason." Celestia said, now letting out a small smirk. "Though I do not know what that reason could be."
Church let out a sigh then looked around. After a quick once over of everybody he looked back at Celestia. "So I assume you brought us here?"
"Yes." She replied simply.
"Mind telling us why?" Sarge asked. "I really don't like being in the same room as blues."
"That is why I brought you here." Celestia said.
"What? So I could hate the blues?" Sarge asked. "They really don't have to be in the same room as me and I'll still hate them."
Celestia sighed softly. She was already regretting bringing them here.
"My student Twilight Sparkle sent me a message telling me that some strange beings were fighting on her lawn." Celestia explained. "She wanted me to put a stop to it and that's what I plan on doing."
"Good luck with that." Sarge grunted. "We've been fighting for many long years and if you think you are going to stop it simply by asking, you have another thing coming."
"Who said anything about asking?" Celestia said, raising an eyebrow.
"What are you going to do with us?" Tucker asked.
Celestia said nothing and just smiled. The five soldiers soon found themselves surrounded by white mist and fell to the ground.
"She's going to kill us! Run for your life!" Grif yelled, standing up on two legs just to fall right back over.
It took a minute for the white shroud to dissipate but after it did something wonderful had happened.
"Why the fuck am I a horse?" Tucker asked.
"Hey you look just like me!" Caboose yelled. "Yay we're all pretty horses."
"What the? Did you just turn us into equines?" Simmons asked.
Celestia just nodded.
"Mind telling us why?" Tucker asked, stabilizing on all fours. "I mean, it's not like I haven't spent my fair share of time on all fours, but usually someone is under me."
"I did it to stop the fighting." Celestia said. "I think it is time you found your true selves, and you will not be able to turn back until you do."
"And how exactly are we going to find our true selves exactly?" Church asked.
Celestia stared at Church with a tight smile.
"Do you know what a cutie mark is?"
oh good lord yes
Sir I offer you my first born son for this.
293622
I'm just glad I found a way to make them stay in the story for a LOT longer
293624 Bloody brilliant you brilliant bastard!
This intrigues me go on
293640 I concur
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw689_35346%20-%20animated%20derpy_hooves%20pipe%20top_hat.gif
Fancy Talk , Also wow you wright fast
293952
You think so? I actually think I am a slow writer
293975 Eh for posting this much in one day your doing pretty good, Im trying to wrestle writing a monster two thousand word chapter its going to kill me xD Also i don't think ive found a red vs blue cross over like this kudos.
293980
Sorry, I just find it easier to pump out smaller chapters, as long chapters make me not want to do them.
293993 When i'm back from school, i want to be atleast one chapter MOAR!!
294009
I'll try
"But usually someone is under me" You have Tucker perfect in this story.
I swear the characterization on everybody is GLORIOUS!!! And Tucker made everything better I was just laughing my ass off the entire time.
I think.... They will fail spectacularly and Celestia will just give up and send 'em home. Otherwise, it ain't RVB.
Carolina's gonna be piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed...
FUCK! This fic's too awesome; I can't stop leaving comments!
... Yeah, Fuck sleep. The characters are too in character to not just read the entire *ing thing in one go, screw finals, I've already failed that class anyhoof! XD
Oh this story just gets better and better. I wonder what everyone's Cutie marks will be.
I'm impressed at how well you can capture their characters. And you never miss a beat with lines; not one character is left without speaking for too long.
Oh god...ALL the characterisation is done PERFECTLY.
This is masterfully executed. If I wasn't eating lunch right now, I would be laughing out loud.
Why has this gem been hidden from me! WHY!
why did you turn them into horses, you just made it 10x harder to imagine the scenes, GOD DAMNIT!
724733
Because I don't think the citizens of Ponyville would take too kindly to six machines twice their size going about their business. Love and tolerance is easy when you're looking at something that doesn't look threatening in the slightest.
Also look at the title image for reference as to what they look like.
I've watched a lot of Red-vs-Blue. I can almost literally hear the cast speaking. I am very glad I decided to give this a shot. If it weren't past 1 AM I would be laughing hysterically, but for now I must make do with a knowing grin.
Also:
"Hey you look just like me!" Caboose yelled. "Yay we're all pretty horses."
:D
*Looks at Tucker's Cutie Mark* Why is there a line going into a circle......OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Nevermind, they're blank flanks
this is gonna be good
@Tucker's last line:Boom Chicka Wow WOW!
LOVE THIS MORE THEN THE SERIES ITS SELF
You magnificant son of a bitch, I love where this is going
If only sheila was there. If only.
Sarge's cutie mark will probably end up being himself shooting Grif in the face with a shotgun.
Cutie Mark Crusaders Red Vs Blue Style!
That is what you call a plot!
I My ass off at the end!
Trollestia strikes again...
Celestia stared at Church with a tight smile.
"Do you know what a cutie mark is?"
Torture that you never imagined before. I cant help but comment comment comment! Sorry DarkWing but you will have too many notifications to count from me. Also as I read this I am looking for any errors I notice. Hope you dont mind!
There's so many things I haven't NOT done yet.
Not sure what you meant there.
Fantastic story
If only Michael had a character.
He would love this.
Trollestia strikes again!
SHE'S GONNA KILL US!!!!!! LOL
947802
possible
Notice how Simmons actuly nose stuff?
Here is what I think their marks will be. Sarge will have a shotgun, Caboose will have... im not sure about him yet, church will have... ah i know a key! Simmons... not sure about him either, grif will have a couch, tucker will have an energy sword
"Surely god would have ran out of patience with us".
This seriously seems like dialogue from the show, great job!
Oh dear God...
Quick someone deliver this story to Rooster Teeth
2824454 this.
i.imgur.com/NMiEdID.jpg
For bronies, yes, YES IT IS!
1108782
Watch rvb, you will understand.
And I'm out goodbye everpony
2824454 and now imagine it as an RTAA
724742 this is buckingly gold you toltled it very well for the personas teh the names in RvB.