Buck Shot to the Brain
"How does this look?" Pinkie asked as she put a red ball onto Celestia's nose.
"I like it!" Discord smiled as he hung a white ball over Celestia's ear. "Oh, she is just looking so flashy."
"I know!" Caboose laughed.
"That's enough, Discord. The others are playing your game in the maze and we can't do anything to you. The least you could be is a gracious host by
"Gracious? Heh, I'm being gracious enough by inviting you to join me in our little festivities here. I even decided against turning you into stone."
"You couldn't do that." Rainbow Dash said boldly. "We're stronger than you, even if we can't turn you into stone."
"I could. You see, I just prefer to have you guys around to talk to. After all, I need somepony to admire my plans. Church is simply to angry to admire such work and Caboose, well... he's Caboose."
"I am Caboose!"
"Indeed you are!" Discord nodded slowly, watching as Caboose and Pinkie continued on with the decorations, stifling a laugh when Pinkie put a cookie ornament into Celestia's angry, open mouth. "Oh, I'm willing to bet Celly hasn't had this much fun in years."
"Why are you leaving Luna alone?" Twilight asked.
"It's because I have no qualms with Luna." Discord sighed, draping a green scarf around Celestia's neck. "At least she tried to talk to talk to her before they imprisoned me. She wanted to reason with me. Celestia, however, didn't. She wanted to take the easy way, as usual."
"Maybe because you're not the reasoning type." Twilight noted quietly.
"I am willing to bet you thought that way about a few others." Discord chuckled coyly, a certain gleam of viciousness in his eyes as he glanced over to Church. "Besides, Luna has enough trouble fitting in to this new world, and I am far from heartless. If anything, I admire her for standing up to her sister. Speaking of Luna, you know what I find funny?"
"Is it a joke?" Caboose asked.
"Of a sort." Discord nodded. "You see, I try to make things more interesting, but I'm labeled as a monster. Luna, however, tries to keep it night forever, which would have extremely drastic effects on crops and the like, but she gets forgiven."
"After being on th' moon for a thousand years." Applejack added.
"Hmph, I was put into stone for longer than that." Discord muddled as he made a back-scratcher appear. "At least Luna was allowed to scratch her back every once and a while..."
"Ah'm sure she had just about as much fun as you..."
"I suppose, but my point remains. Me? I'll never be forgiven and I don't even hurt anypony! Say, you want to see my impression of Celestia?" Discord asked, but before anybody could say no he clicked his claws together, transforming his face into a rough mixture of his face and Celestia's. "Twelve hundred years, stone imprisonment. All of you. Stone. Seven hundred years. No trial."
"Oh, do me! Do me!" Caboose said, clapping his hooves together.
"Alright." Discord said eagerly, waving his arm in front of his face to change the look of his face to Caboose's. "Hello, my name is Caboose, and I like to have fun!"
"Hey!" Caboose gasped as if he had just received a stunning realization. "I do like to have fun!"
"Me next!" Pinkie squealed.
"Enough of this." Applejack muttered, walking up to the sphere. "Er, apple shaped image fella, can ya show me what Sarge is up to?"
The sea of images shuffled around for a few seconds then stopped. One of the images then started to expand, showing Sarge walking through a place that was all too familiar with him. He was currently walking through a rather large canyon, whistling happily.
"Gunna beat them Blues, gunna grab their flag, gunna shoot 'em up and toss 'em in a trash bag." Sarge sung happily as he trotted over to what appeared to be the Blue base. "Gunna find 'em all, and burn their base down, turn 'em into ashes and spread 'em over town. Oh, that's what I'm gunna do~"
"Hey, his songs are getting less violent." Church noted dryly when Sarge stopped in front of the base.
"Any of you Blues in there?" Sarge asked, knocking on the metallic door. "No? Well I'm coming in anyways!"
Sarge hummed as he trotted through the doorway until he stopped in the middle to admire his trophy. As he reached out to grab the flag, he stopped himself from touching it then stared at the ground.
"Hmm. This is missing something." Sarge said quietly, putting his hoof on the ground. He began to look the flag over for traps, then remembered he was dealing with the Blues, not other Reds. He smirked, grabbed the flag and took it out of it's holder. He then lost his smirk and put the flag back where it was. "Dammit, it just doesn't feel the same."
An idea popped into Sarge's and he quickly left the abandoned base and made his way back to his. Once inside, he grabbed the flag with his teeth and galloped full speed back to his would-be enemies base. Once inside, he dropped the flag next to the blue flag and smiled innocently, then ran around the corner.
"Dammit, the Blues have our flag and have almost captured it entirely!" Sarge yelled, barely faking sincerity. "If only we were competent enough to stop them!"
Sarge looked around the corner, expecting someone to have grabbed the flag, but it simply sat there, cloth wrapped around the shiny pole. With a scowl, he walked up to his flag and tapped it gently, pushing it closer to the other flag. Taking a few steps back, he tilted his head at the sight. Growling in frustration, he tapped the flag again so the two were nearly touching.
"Dammit, you dirty Blues! Get out here and capture my damn flag!" Sarge yelled, looking around the base. After a few seconds of silence he kicked the ground. "Playing hard to get, huh? I see how it is!"
Sarge left the base and quickly returned with a rather large rock on his back. He dropped it next to the flags and stared at it, wondering why he had even brought it there.
"There, now if you come out I'll even throw in this boulder! Clean, no scratches, never been used. I guarantee you'll never find another like it! Hell, you don't even have to pay any rental fees!" Sarge called out, just to be met with more silence. "You guys like rocks, don't you? Or are you guys some sort of rock elitists? Is that it? That's low, Blues, even for you."
"He's cracking up." Church said, both jokingly and with a tad of concern as Sarge paced around the room in anger.
"I know, isn't it exciting?" Discord asked, shooting to watch with them.
"You know what? If you don't come out, I'm going to take one of your rocks since they must be so much better than ours!" Sarge exclaimed as he ran outside.
Looking around feverishly, he saw an extremely large rock stuck in the ground. Dashing towards it, he began kicking the dirt out from around it. After a few minutes of doing that, he began trying to lift it. Once that didn't work, he backed away from the boulder and inhaled deeply. Letting out an extremely loud war-cry, he sprinted up to the rock and bucked it, shattering it into dozens of pieces down the middle.
"Get out here and capture my flag you sonsofbitches!" He yelled, continuing to buck the shattered remains of the boulder until it turned into a fine dust. Staring at the grains of stone, he threw his head back and laughed. "Now look! You guys are rockless and have to take our rock, otherwise you won't have any cover for you to hide behind!"
When Sarge looked back down, he noticed that the Blues still had a rather large amount of rocks on their territory. He then realized that since they weren't in their base, they must be hiding behind or beneath one of the rocks. Running up to the nearest rock, he bucked it until it turned into a mist, then dug through it in an attempt to find them. He then looked around and sighed.
"I'm going to find you dirty Blues, and when I do, you're going to capture my dang-nabbed flag!"
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Raddda radda radda
and caboose remains caboose.
hes gone off his rocker XD
Well, Sarge has lost it.
yup, sarge lost it
Poor Sarge. He doesn't do good without someone else to yell at.
I guess sarge really is cracking up
>Inb4 sex jokes about capturing Sarge's flag
Sarge is going section 8.
Uh-oh. Something is gonna go bad.
Well. He has less issues Thani tought he would
Huh, never thought of the concept of sarge living a life without the blues.
Btw dark wing, do you have any plans on tucker introducing his son to rainbow?
I imagine it would be one hell of a conversation going something like this :
Junior: *honk *honk
Rainbow: WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS THAT THING?!?!?
Tucker: Junior! Rainbow, meet my son. Junior, meet my mare/girl friend, rainbow dash
Rainbow: you have a son? An alien son? WHAT THE FUCK
PS: I'm not a writer by any standard if you haven't already guessed
1508066 He doesn't like people talking about putting new characters into his story's
ANTHOLOGY 2 REFERENCE!
Could be adventure time reference too but...
It's funny seing Sarge going crazy for a change. I wonder what else is going to happen to him.
Sister would capture his flag in a heartbeat. She is a blue after all.
I guess you could say that the Blues *sunglasses* rocked his world. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Sarge... no blues to threaten and no reds to yell at to do better.
1508084
I wasn't asking to add a character, I was asking IF HE PLANNED to add them.
This is his story, and it is by far the most brilliant crossover fics I have read, and I do NOT want to be the one to cause the story to go......well, broken.
1508012
Princess Lemongrab Celestia...Excellent
Also, poor Sarge. It's already been established that no matter how much he hates them, he needs the Blues to complete him.
1508084 Honk?
1508131 Well I'm sure it will be fine either way
1508239 The hell are you?
1508283 I'm junior? The alien child that tucker was somehow pregnant with in one of the rvb episodes.
aww. feel bad for him- what's life for if ya don't got no blues to yell at?
1508346 Yeah I know..... WAIT! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHEN DID YOU LEARN HUMAN!?
*pulls out magnum and points at random guy* HEY YOU! *guy looks over and than 'BLAM'* GIVE ME YOUR JETPACK! *takes jetpack and gives to baby alien* HERE TAKE THIS, JUST STOP SPEAKING HUMAN! OKAY!? 
1508406 Honk honk hoooooooonk! *Super junior, AWAAAAAAY!!!!*
I almost feel sorry for Sarge. Almost. And I like the way you made Discord in this!
Oh god. sarge is giving them a perfect example if evil never exists
1508672
I don't think I do.
I just really fucking love Lemongrab.
why do i think sarge is going to end up in the fettle position crying in the next chapter?
Oh no! Not Tucker's rock!
1507990
Radda Radda Radda? RRRRAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAA!
1508446
...What just happened?
o_O
sarge isn't taking this to nicely is he?
1507370 IT'S CALLED FREEZING HIM IN SUPER HEATED ICE AND DROPPING HIM IN A FUCKING VOLCANO
My senses are tingling
Sarge's insanity has now been cofirmered and complete
1508007yep Gruff didn't do anything to cause this too
1511483 Yep, He's gone dib-shit! He's ether going to calm down and gain his sanity and get over his lust, or succumb to chaos, or succeed but be Insane to where THE FUCKING JOKER would shit his pants near Sarge.