Gary awoke the next morning, mind already churning about the future. He had taken an early night, mostly due to the fact that he needed to be at one hundred percent, but partly because he wanted to leave before the others woke up. He rolled off his pile of hay and trotted out the door of the barn, grinning coyly to himself. As he reached the gate of the farm, he heard a bark come from his left.
"Darn it." Gary muttered, looking at the source of the bark, where he could see Big Mac sitting with his back against the tree.
"Have ya had somethin' t' eat yet?" Big Mac asked quietly, chewing on a strand of hay as he patted Winona on the head.
"I think I'll skip on breakfast today." Gary shook his head. "I have some research to do."
"Not anythin' bad ah hope." Applejack said.
"Oh ye of little faith." Gary tutted. "I realized last night I can't live in this world on my own old terms, so I have to make due with some new ones. Sarge said something surprisingly smart for a shisno, so I considered it and decided it was the best course of action."
"Then what research are ya doin'?"
"Oh, you know, the laws. Need to make sure I don't break any, even if shisno laws are stupid." Gary said, trotting out the gate, towards Ponyville, leaving no room for questions.
Ten minutes later, Gary walked through Ponyville, again avoiding each pony he came cross, and arrived at Town Hall, where he knocked politely on the door. Mayor Mare came to the door and slowly opened it.
"Good morning."
"Neighoming, good morning. You're here early." Mayor Mare said, stepping to the side.
"So are you." Gary smiled as he walked inside the office, where there was already a second desk set up. "That was fast."
"Time and efficiency are important for our jobs." Mayor Mare noted, walking Gary to his desk. "You have everything you need here."
"Fantastic." Gary said, forcing sincerity. "Does it have a book of all the laws in Ponyville?"
"Yes, first drawer left hoof side. In it you should also find an agenda, your name plate, a few quills and a few different colors of ink."
"Great." Gary said as he began filing through the drawer, looking for the book.
It only took him a couple seconds to find the book, which he took out of the desk and stared at with a dark grin.
"Oh, you might also need this." Mayor Mare said, dropping a small parchment of paper on his desk, making Gary nearly jump up.
"What is this?" Gary asked hesitantly.
Gary reached for the paper and snatched it up, before reading the top. The Ponyvillian pledge.
"In technical terms, you do not have the job yet." Mayor Mare said slowly. "First, you have to stand in front of the town and recite that pledge. You have a day to memorize it, and I have utmost confidence in you. After all, you have done this in Minneighsota, correct?"
"Of course." Gary said quietly, beginning to doubt his plans. "It has just been a long time since I stood in front of hundreds of shis- I mean ponies."
"I'm sure you'll do fine." Mayor Mare nodded, making her way to her desk. "If you need anything, I will be more than happy to help you."
"Thanks." Gary mumbled, no intent on asking a shisno for help unless he needed help with being lazy. Gary chuckled at this thought.
"Is something wrong?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Oh, nothing. Just remembered something, that's all."
"Remembered what?"
"Just an inside joke." Gary said as he grabbed the pledge, knowing his current plans would have to wait. "So do the citizens already know about me then?"
"Some do. Even though our population is large, word spreads quickly. I also wrote a note explaining it on the Ponyville bulletin board, as well as first page news in the Ponyville Express, so the entire town will be informed tomorrow morning."
"Will they all show up?" Gary asked, holding back a shudder.
"Not all of them. It is in no way mandatory, but we are a friendly bunch and love making ponies feel welcome, so most will probably show up."
Ugh, disgusting. Gary though to himself. At least they won't all be there.
"Speaking of ponies that like making others feel welcome, I should probably warn you about one of our residents." Mayor Mare coughed. "She, uh... really likes meeting new ponies."
"That's... nice..." Gary twitched.
"No need to be nervous." Mayor Mare said quickly, seeing how uncomfortable he was. "She is really nice, just a little on the eccentric side. And she has a nice friend. Maybe not all there, but he's nice. They shouldn't be so much trouble to you, seeing as you've been in this sort of situation before."
"Yes, I have." Gary forced out a laugh. "This is great news... I like meeting new ponies as well. What is their-"
Suddenly, confetti shot out from under Gary's desk, and something tackled him to the ground.
"What is happening?" Gary yelped in fear as his attacker tumbled along the ground with him.
"Weee!" An all too familiar voice exclaimed.
"Oh no..." Gary groaned as he angled his head to see Caboose gripping onto him for dear life.
"That was fun!" Caboose laughed as the tumbling came to a stop.
"Hardly." Gary muttered, scrambling to get off the ground and away from Caboose.
As he started backing away from the blue menace, he bumped into something and fell to the ground.
"Sorry about that! I should have really watched where you were going!" Pinkie chuckled with closed eyes, reaching down to the annoyed Gary.
Gary got off the ground without grabbing her hoof and turned away, when he heard a gasp. Gary turned around to see Pinkie staring at him with wide eyes.
"You're the Mayor's assistant?" Pinkie asked.
"You know each other?" Mayor Mare asked with surprise.
"Yeah, we met each other how long ago? A few weeks? Maybe two?"
"Two weeks? Neighoming came here just a few nights ago, correct?"
"Neighoming?" Pinkie asked with a wild giggle. "He isn't Neighoming, his name is Gary, and he-"
"In the name of all that is non shisno, shut you mouth!" Gary hissed quietly, stuffing his right fore hoof into Pinkie's mouth.
"Are we playing a game?" Caboose asked. "I love-"
Gary extended his left hind hoof into Caboose's mouth, makin it hard to balance with his last two hooves.
"What's going on?" Mayor Mare asked slowly.
"Are we playing twister?" Gary heard Caboose muffle into his hoof.
"Both of you, please be quiet while I explain to the Mayor what is happening." Gary muttered, forcing out his plead. "Think of it as a game."
Pinkie and Caboose shook their heads, thinking Gary was playing a game, so he placed his hooves back on the ground.
"What did she mean by Gary?" Mayor Mare asked. "I could understand if she had mistake you for somepony else, but you aren't exactly like every other pony."
"You are aware of how I am staying with the Apples?" Gary asked.
"Yes." Mayor Mare confirmed.
"Well, I visited them a few weeks ago to see if they had any room for me. Naturally I didn't want to be here with nowhere to stay. When I got there, this pink pony as well as a bunch of others were there. And as you know, I don't really like my name, so I told them to call me Gary. That's what I tell most new shis- ponies, but I wanted to be formal with you." Gary said, smiling at himself, turning to the pair. "Now if you two will excuse me, I have a pledge to memorize."
"I'll be there for that!" Caboose said with surprise.
"And then I can throw you a really big party, and I'll invite the whole town!" Pinkie added.
"Yes, yes, you do that." Gary said, wanting to shoo away the pests. "Please, I only have one day, so I want to make the best of it."
"Alrighy." Pinkie said, opening the window and placing the cannon net to it. "Anything else you need?"
"Hardly." Gary murmured.
"Okay then. Caboose, get in!" Pinkie said loudly.
"Okay!" Caboose said, jumping into the cannon.
"Can't wait for your speech tomorrow, Gary!" Pinkie said, climbing into the cannon, before slamming her hoof on the back of it, propelling them out the window.
"You handled that well." Mayor Mare noted.
"Thank you." Gary said as he grabbed the pledge and began reading it to himself, cringing at each line.
What Gary is thinking when he lies.
[youtube=Rmc661a9IRY]
nice chapter man
1082906 1082938
Dem music videos
Every time I see the word 'Neighoming' I laugh for some reason. Maybe it's because of Wyoming, or maybe it's something completely different.
Well, I guess it's not that bad. Was all that Wolf thought as he watched the scene unfold through the window of the office. Just so long as Pinkie drives him crazy first.
Creature of lies and deceit ...become politican
1082961
Actually it still fits. Just like Alpha and Epsillon were both Church, Gamma and all the other A.I.s are Church as well.
Allison excluded of course, as she is just a really powerful memory.
""Are we playing twister?" Gary muffled into his hoof."
i think you meant for Caboose to say that...
also, for an AI that can think at 200x the rate of a standard shis-... um... human *shivers* memorizing a pledge in one day should be fairly easy. that is to say, unless he has stage fright... which its starting to look like he does...gary...might have a problem... he cant imagine them in their underpands eighther, one because theyre shisno ponies and two because they dont wear anything anyways....
oh well suks to be gary then
1082906
need to work a grifball reference in here somewhere...
1083174
you do realize that that is like saying that Cortana is Dr. Halsey right?
from looking closely i have discovered two well three things about the meta i have discovered the he is white and bald and he has a really deep and awesome voice
look very closely at agent maine in this video
1082906 awesome and lol
1083224
oh yes i see what you are talking about
1083194 griff ball equestria. sounds like an idea for a psa
1083273
XD well tucker has the key... all we need now is advanced brute gravity tech...crap
hmm maybe we could use a magic substitute?
ITS WHOLESOME ENTERTAINMENT
1083212
Actually it's not. Church is the Alpha and Memory. The others are fragments. Multiple personalities if you will. Cortan was a "copy" of sorts.
1083330
the Alpha was in fact a full AI before the fragmentation process and, considering the stability that proceeded after the fragmentation process, could still be decribed as a full AI. on the subject of Cortana being a "copy", that is essentially what an AI is. also, considering the fact that these fragments, Epsilon being the only exception in regards to the earlier memorys of the Alpha, do not share the same consciousness, they can not be classified as one ambiguous entity. even considering they all stemmed from the whole, they are not neccesarily aware of what the others are aware of. also, if i REALLY want to be a smart ass, i can bring up the fact that Church is in fact a human, and both Alpha and Epsilon have merely taken up his name.
1083385
I think we are both looking to far into this. Let's just say although our current situation is not ironic it is indeed strange.
1083394
agreed, sir, agreed.
1083285 well we figured out griffs weapon of choice. the grav ham
1082938
The only thing I could think of when I saw that video:
Also scheming Gary is best Gary.
1083695
no cause grif is too busy being a lazy ass and running with his ball in his hand
1083695
btw you were the 7000th comment! have a cookie!! (','.) its chocolate chip :P
So is gary going to be, to quote Groucho Marx, "a corrupt politician? Or am I just being redundant?"
Yeeeeesh, fine chapter indeeeeeeeeeed
Wooooooot
Damn! I thought Pinkie Pie would be Surprise instead, it would have fit in nicely with the title too...
Alo, Surprise working in politics would be kind of great.
Nice chapter, political Gary is much more interesting and bad farmhand Gary was getting a bit boring, now that you've introduced some more tension to the story, it should flow more smoothly.
1084044
I believe Gary will probably end up like how Mel Brooks envisioned politicians.
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=rYqF_BtIwAU]
1085068
dude you have to click on the long link button on the embed
1084044
well normally i would say that the corrupt part isnt needed because its in their job description :3 but considering Gary...yes, yes indeed, he is a VERY, VERY CORRUPT politian...he gonna put Nixon and O'Bama(and prolly Queen Mary I to boot) to shame for he will be more corrupt(and failuristic) than all of them
he might even make Castro a little sad/jelous/shameful
we found DarkWing
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/1/MT0h2PeBd0S87cvkESEXJg2.jpg
1086983
im not sure if you are joking or a lunatic...ima just back away slowly now...
so what im wondering is, what are the rest of them doing through this?
1083273 that fic already exists though i lack a link to it.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw608_130354050687.jpg
Just read all the chapters over the last 3 days, the above picture is how I feel
1088148
are you cross-story stalking me? XD
Gamma, (I refuse to call him Gary) you are a twisted bastard. I can't wait until Omega gets his hooves on you. You will die, you deceitful son of a bitch. I'll see you in hell.
1088133
Same.
1083212 Cortana was made from a copy of Halsey's brain, so she essentially is Halsey. Allison is just a memory of someone Leonard knew, albeit a really, really powerful memory. And as we know with Epsillon, memory is the key.
"towards Ponyvilled"?
Anyway, Gary's a nice character.
Also, why is this Mature? I'm sure Teen works fine. Unless you're sure RvB is Mature.
1089079
ooh yeah RvB is DEFINATELY mature
exspecially Tucker...
So far so good darkwing. I love the story so far. I also like the fact that u are taking over Achievment Hunters in Equestria
1089168
Are you sure it's not safe for teens?
1082906 soooo true
1082906
All praise Church?
Comically missing the point.
uh what the fuck just happened?
1082906 I fucking love that song ^-^
Also...."In the name of all that is non shisno, shut you mouth!" Gary hissed quietly Shut you mouth? Well that's proper fucking grammar
1082906
BUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!