Equestria's Brightest Time-Travelling Zombie!

by Scintillance

Chapter Three: Forget Pinkie, Lyra talks too much.

…OK, so that’s not what happened. But the second one did do that after I just jumped up and forced my two front hooves down on the first, before he had the chance to react. My shield then gave off one last radiant blast, and disappeared, leaving a strange, yellow ring in its wake. I picked it up, noting that I should question how my hooves could do that later, and frowned over it. it seemed large enough to fit over my hoof…

The minty mare then trotted up closer to me. Waaaay too close, “That… was… AWESOME!”

CHAPTER THREE: PONY LOGIC

I fell over to my side, kinda not expecting my sea-foam friend to shout out in my ear like that… SEA FOAM! THAT’S her color! Gee, that’s one mystery solved… and the other, the ring. It was-

“Oh my gosh, hi! Thanks for saving me back there, looked like I wasn’t going to make it out alive! But then you came, and you were all VWOOOM! And then CRRRRRRK and then PCHOW! And then…” she was making some awkward hoof motions for every… sound effect, and making me a headache as well. I rubbed my hoof over my head, really feeling the temper rise, and then I had it. “And then they were all WHOO-MPH! mph mmmph mph mm?” I covered her mouth with both of my hooves, silencing the chatterbox at last.

“Please stop talking! I really don’t want to lose my mind, now. Alright?” She nodded, and I sighed in relief, removing my hooves from her mouth, and noticed that my face was dang close to hers. I gave off an awkward blush before-

“You’re not going to kiss me now, are you? Because Bon Bon would totally flip if she ever-” I immediately jumped away, turning my view towards the surrounding trees, and then to the ground before me.

“Nonono! I didn’t mean to do a thing! I was just shutting you up!”

“Oh really?~”

“Yes! Really!” she was 'really' starting to be a bother.

“Hmm… so, what are you up to, out in the middle of the forest?” she tilted her head to the side.

“I think I should ask you the same question…”

“Well I asked you first!”

“But ladies first, no?”

“You're right, ladies first... and I asked first!”

I was at a loss here. She was annoying, and dang it I didn't argue with that. I paused, shortly, trying to find the best way to explain my situation. I mean, saying I’m an undead zombie really wasn't the best icebreaker to get on good terms. Nor is saying that I have no clue as to who I was, what I was… actually I still didn't know what I was. I made a mental note to ask her, and said “Well, I just kind of came back to life, unburied myself from my old grave in the forest over there. I don’t really know who or what I am, so it would be nice if you had any clue.” One order of mental face hoof, please.

“You’re… what?” She replied with more than a hint of doubt in her voice before breaking into a short laugh “Now that’s just funny… Zombies are just another set of old pony tales!”

Ouch. “Well in that case, you doubt my existence! I can assure you that I am very much real!”

“Yeah. Nice try. Well now that I think about it, I don’t think I've ever seen you before…”

“-because I was dead!”

“Not because you were dead… I tend to miss a lot of ponies anyway… or you're just not from ponyville...”

“Ponies?” Ponies… maybe that’s what I was. “Is… is that what we call ourselves?”

And now she looked pretty confused. She shot me a glance that literally screamed ‘are you for real?’ No, not literally; figure of speech. “You’re… not kidding, are you?” I nodded, and she trotted close. Too close. Again. I started to think ‘ponies’ around here were very ignorant of personal space. Either that or she was. She pressed the side of her head against my chest, and I was back to the earlier blush.

“Um… what are you…”

“You’re definitely alive. Heart rate’s going as it shou-” I could felt a bit of an increase in my heart rate. “Uh… huh… well this is interesting… it looks like it’s going cray-”

I pushed her away, for obvious reasons “Can you please stop being so awkward!"

Another Questioning look from her. "Awkward how?"

"Awkward in the toughing! I don't like being touched!"

“Uh huh... well never mind that; as far as I can tell, you’re very much alive. you have a pulse and everything.”

"So you still don't believe in me being undead?"

"Not at all."

“Do I need to show you my grave?”

“No, but… actually, I think I’d rather you showed me your horn!”

WOAH! “WHOAH! WHAT!?”

“Your horn! You used unicorn magic, but you’re an earth pony!”

Unicorns, earth ponies, it was her turn to confuse me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“How do you not… oh… no memories… ok, the difference between an earth pony and a unicorn pony is a horn on the forehead.” She gestured to her horn. “A unicorn’s horn channels their magic, and lets them do things like levitate objects, or, in your case, that magic glowing shield of yours.”

I turned my attention back to the ring, which was held in my hoof the whole time. I willed it to, and it caught the same yellow glow from before as it slid onto my left hoof. Thinking about the shield, the ring flashed a light once more, and I had the shield held in my hoof. “So you’re saying that I shouldn't be able to do this?”

“Yes, but… somehow, you are. A horn glows, and you… your eyes do. I don’t know how that works, unless you have horns in your eyes or… wait a minute…”

She started trotting close, again, and I was all “No! Enough with the random personal space invasion! This is no longer a free invasion zone!"

She sighed, rolled her eyes, and said in a monotone voice, “S.S. LYRA requesting permission to invade hair?”

I found it amusing, actually. “L.A.N.C. port-control granting permission to invade.” Unserious, but preferable, and I chuckled as I finished my reply. She was all over my hair within moments.

“Your glow doesn't just come from your eyes; it’s fading from under your mane, too, so maybe…” She pulled my mane back, leaving my forehead bare, save for the brown fur, and she gasped before instantly backing away. She stared at me like she just saw a ghost. “I’m… I’m so sorry! I didn't know!”

Now I was worried. “ Didn't know… what?”

“Your horn! It’s sawed clean off!”

I quickly shuffled my hooves over where my horn apparently should have be, under my mane, and found a small stub of bone; certainly small enough to hide under my mane. “Is… is this bad?”

“Bad? It’s terrible! This is the most sacred part of your unicorn-ness! And it’s sawed off! What kind of monster did this to you?!”

“I… I don’t know… I didn’t even know I had a horn…” she was over reacting as if it were her own right hoof sawed off in some brutal prison camp. I, on the other hoof, wasn't exactly bothered by losing what I never knew I had. It’s like an old book on your shelf that you never bothered to read; someone takes it away, and you never notice.

She was hugging me now. She did not ask to hug me. This did not amuse me. “You’ll be ok, I promise…”

“Um… I’m kind of already ok. Could you let go of me? please?” nothing. "Oh for the love of..." I then pushed her away somewhat forcibly. "I'm pretty sure I said something about the touching."

"Right... sorry.."

…after a few moments of awkward silence, I finally asked, “So… Lyra?”

“Yes?”

“Um, nothing, I was just checking if that was your name, when you mentioned it earlier...”

“Oh… yes, that’s my name. And… Lanc?” Daflunk.

“Lanc?”

“You spelled it out; ‘L.A.N.C.’ Lanc.”

“Oh, no, Those were the first four letters, the fifth was an ‘E,’ making ‘Lance.”

“Oh… well, nice to meet you, Lance!” she held out a hoof, and I wondered what to do with it.

“Um…” so, I put my hoof over hers, and then she looked at me like I was an idiot. And then she burst into a laugh. Now that was just insulting.

“I’ve seen hoof shakes, hoof-bumps, but I've never seen this!” I shamefully pulled my hoof away, but she leaned over and grabbed it with both hooves, pulling it out straight, like how she held hers out before. “See, normally you do this…” she then shook it with both of her hooves, “to do a hoof-shake. It's for when you first meet somepony. or for formalitie. And then this …” she removed her two hooves, I pulled away once more but she barely regarded my discomfort, pulling it out again, and clapping her own hoof against mine, keeping it there for a moment before removing hers. “That’s a 'hoof-bump'. It used to be an "awesome pony" thing, for all those stallions that thought they’re ‘cool’ and all, but recently it’s become pretty popular among all sorts of ponies.”

“I see… I’ll keep those in mind.”I looked to the stars, and blinded myself by a glowing yellow light. I guess I still had that light orb out. “aww, gee! I still have that thing conjured?”

“Um… yeah, didn’t you notice?”

“I didn’t… wasn’t paying very much attention to it… but I guess that's why we’re seeing so clearly…”

“That’s just hilarious… a zombie with a knack for light. Really, that’s hard to believe!”

“Well believe it; my un-life hasn’t been making very much sense to me, so far.”

“Well, we best get a camp going, it’s already dark. I’ll just go get what’s left of the timber wolves for some firewood…”

I suddenly felt a mad sensation of fear. Fear of death. It wasn’t my own… “NO! Wait! Please!”

Another ‘are you for real?’ look from Lyra… folks, she’ll be doing that a lot from now on, so we shall dub this, as ‘the look.’ ALL HAIL THE LOO-“um… Lance, you’re sure you’re ok?” even in past tense she’s interrupting me.

“I am, but…” There was a strange empathy, between me and… well, I think it was the timber wolves. “They aren’t. They’re not dead, those wolves. Their spirits linger, regaining their strength before reforming the nature as their new bodies. And they’re attached to these pieces of wood. And they’re afraid.”

“So you’re an expert on life and death, now?”

“No, I… maybe? It’s… strange… I… might…”

“Alright, I’ll just take your word for it, mister ‘zombie.” I sighed, and the fearful sensation left me, and I no longer ‘felt’ the wolves. Whatever it was, it wasn't something I wanted to experience. Too… weird. And if it was something to do with me being back from the dead, well, I didn't want anything to do with it. “So… where are we going to get some firewood?”

I thought, for a bit, and started heading towards the nearest tree, still with my shield out, and said “Leave that to me.” I then hacked at the tree, causing it to loosen. After about five good swipes, I figured that I needed to cut at a lower angle as well, so the two cuts would meet, slicing a portion of the tree off. It lost its balance, and started to fall… “TIMBAAAAAAAA-OH FLANK!” …on me.

I blacked out, and woke up to the scent of burning wood and an intense warmth. I opened up my eyes, and saw the forest burning, and instantly leaped up on all four hooves and realized that it was just a campfire, and Lyra lay by it, with her eyes to the night sky and the stars above. I had to ask, “Um… what happened?”

“Ah! Rise and shine sleepy head! The tree hit your head when it fell, but then your shield was wedged between the tree and the ground, just barely saving you from being crushed by a two foot wide tree! Nothing too bad. I just passed out for a few minutes.

“Oh…” I didn't remember a thing of what happened, but it was Lyras’ word that I had to trust. And then I remembered;, “Hey Lyra, you still haven’t told me what you were doing out here in the first place..."

“zzzzzzzzz” She had already fallen asleep. Disappointing, but respectable. “I… I guess I should catch up on some sleep as well.” I set my head down, and let my mind wonder, and yawned. “I’ll just… ask tomorrow… ‘Night Lyra…”

“Good night, Lance…”

Author's Note:

"yaaay"

WHY WAS THIS SO LONG. I really didn't mean to write so much, but I guess that's what happens when I let two ponies talk a whole chapter through. so, our awkward hero finally gets some answers about his current situation, and a little more about his past and and magic is discovered. Because knowing everything from the start is overrated.

And no, I'm not shipping Lance with Lyra. She's just very... weird. in a good way! I think.

And let's see... the "Vesperia Complex." what is it?
well, if we look at the plotline of "Tales of Vesperia," (with as little spoilers as possible) the protagonist has a goal. and he completes it! but wait, he then realizes that hings are much bigger than he thought, unveiling a much larger string of events! of course, he solves it all, BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! now there's an even BIGGER stream of events, to find out who was behind it all! wash, rinse, and repeat.

What am I trying to say by mentioning this? Are things bigger than what they seem in this fanfic? well, I'll try to keep things making as much sense and linked together as possible, but, yeah. I'm totally dragging Lancey's flank to Russia and back.

Comments

[Scintillance]

Looking back, I think I've made the absolute WORST mistake in chapter three. Since when does Lyra read Sci-Fi? Or any pony for the matter...
Nay, I spilled nonsense over the whole dang thing...

Incoming edits for chapter three...

EDIT: edited. feel free to bother re-reading. Still weird, but hey, I'M writing it, right?

[Toodle Flip]

So... I don't want to push you, but where is the next chapter?

[Scintillance]

2580657
The next chapter is... somewhere. over the rainbow. gimme a lil bit, I'm almost there!
and by there, I mean end of the school year. IB exams start tomorrow
but they end on friday!
but IB exams start tomorrow
And then I can do stuff again!
but tomorrow

[Cosmic_Flash]

Welp this story looks abandoned