A Little Smarty Problem
By
Sparknanator
***
Twilight woke up with a massive headache. The last pony she remembered seeing before fainting, a second time, was Princess Celestia. She was able to hear a few voices, one of them she recognized as Smarty Pants and the other she recognized as Princess Celestia. Twilight would have opened her eyes but she was still in the process of waking up; though she could hear Smarty telling a story from back when Twilight still lived at the castle. She wanted to smile a bit but that would blow her cover, “And then she hid her bed sheets because she was embarrassed.” Twilight’s eyes snapped open when Smarty said that.
Twilight looked at Princess Celestia who was covering her mouth, trying to hide the grin that was plastered on her face. She remember that day very well, one of the maids had found Twilight’s bedsheets shoved under her bed, when Princess Celestia questioned her about it Twilight blamed Spike but Princess Celestia knew otherwise. Twilight sat up, her face now a deep crimson color from embarrassment that Smarty had told that story, out of all of the stories she could have told she chose that specific story to tell everypony.
Princess Celestia looked at Twilight smiling, “Good morning my faithful student.” Celestia said, “Smarty Pants could you do me a small favor?” Celestia asked and Smarty nodded, “Could you go into the other room for me so the big ponies can talk?” Smarty nodded again, before leaving the room she gave Celestia a hug. They waited a few minutes to make sure she wasn’t eavesdropping, “Well Twilight I must say I am impressed.”
“Princess I-” Twilight was cut off by Celestia raising a hoof.
“Twilight you have nothing to fear,” Celestia said in a gentle tone, “you have done nothing wrong.” Twilight was about to speak again but she was silenced by Celestia once again, “Twilight you have done a good thing. You brought a new life into the world.” Celestia looked at Big Mac and then Twilight, “Now do you two know what you are going to do? Are you going to step up to the plate as parents?”
Twilight looked down nervously she wasn’t sure what to do, she always wanted a foal. She had a lot of practice with Spike, since she had raised him from a baby.If Twilight thought about it no matter how independent Spike was, she was still raising him to this day, “I am willing to step up to the plate as a parent.” Twilight glared at Big Mac, “But I will NOT live near him!” Twilight kept her gaze on Big Mac, “And I will be the best mother so Smarty will love me more than him.” Twilight looked back at Celestia.
“Eeyup, ah think ah can help raise her.” Big Mac said, “And ah refuse ta’ live near her.”
“It seems we can agree on something plot for brains.” Twilight said
Celestia cleared her throat, gaining Twilight and Big Mac’s attention, “Well it sounds to me like you two want joint custody.” Celestia said, “There are a few things you two need to do.”
“An’ may ah ask what that might be princess?” Big Mac asked.
“You two need to take Smarty Pants to the hospital to get her certified along with a birth certificate and a round of shots.” Celestia said, “Here is the catch: you two must go together in order to sign everything and get everything in order.”
“WHAT?!” Twilight and Big Mac shouted in perfect sync.
***
Princess Celestia had spoken with Twilight and Big Mac so they could come up with a plan for their joint custody. After a while they had come up with something, one day Twilight will get Smarty and one day Big Mac will get her. Princess Celestia had also explained that they will need to get Smarty Pants enrolled in school so that way she could be properly educated. Twilight had offered to homeschool her but Princess Celestia thought it would be best to enroll Smarty in Ponyville elementary.
So that way she could learn the magic of friendship as well, Twilight had pondered it for a few minutes and agreed with Princess Celestia that public school would be best for Smarty, “Now that we have that in order shall we go to the hospital to get Smarty her official birth certificate?” Princess Celestia asked, Twilight and Big Mac agreed.
Twilight went upstairs to get Smarty so they could leave, when she got upstairs she saw Smarty drawing something. Twilight trotted silently behind the filly so she could get a look at what she was drawing. Smarty was drawing a picture of herself, Twilight and Big Mac. Twilight cringed a bit at seeing Big Mac in the crudely drawn picture, if Smarty was anything like she was Twilight knew that Smarty would be a curious filly.
Twilight tapped Smarty on the shoulder to get the fillies attention. Smarty turned her head and looked at Twilight, “Yes mommy?”
“Come on Smarty you, me, Princess Celestia and your....daddy.” Twilight was hesitant about saying the last word. She did not like the fact that she would now have to see Big Mac every other day. Twilight felt a sudden weight on her back when she looked behind her she saw Smarty grinning from ear to ear Twilight couldn’t help but giggle a bit, “Well lets go” Twilight said as she started trotting down the stairs.
When Twilight came into the living room she saw both Princess Celestia and Big Mac waiting at the door “Are you ready to go?” Celestia asked Twilight nodded. Smarty had no idea where they were headed or why.
***
Princess Celestia, Twilight, Smarty and Big Mac had all arrived at Ponyville General Hospital in a short amount of time. On the walk they got a few odd stares from different ponies who were unsure of the situation and asking each other questions like why the princess was with them and who that filly on Twilight’s back was.
When the group walked through the hospital doors everypony in the waiting room dropped what they were doing and bowed to Princess Celestia. She chuckled a bit, “Arise my subjects you do not need to bow to me.” Celestia said, motioning for them to go back to what they were doing, “My student is just in need of a nurse.” At that every nurse within earshot came flying over to them Celestia looked at all of them and pointed to Nurse Redheart.
Nurse Redheart smiled, “So how may I help you today?” Redheart asked, noticing Smarty now hugging Twilight’s neck while Princess Celestia leaned down and whispered into Redheart’s ear everything she needed done. Redheart nodded in understanding, she had been living in Ponyville for so long she had seen crazier stuff happen then somepony bringing a toy to life and it couldn’t top the time Discord arrived. ”Well then Smarty Pants if you would just come with me.” Redheart said, Smarty looked at Twilight who gave her a reassuring smile.
Smarty trotted along side Redheart, a little nervous about being around a pony she had never seen or met before. When they arrived at the room, Redheart helped Smarty on the examination table. Redheart went under the table, pulling out a gown with a cloud pattern on it, “Alright dear now I need you to put this on for me.” Redheart said, setting the gown beside her.
Smarty looked at the gown her confusion clearly showing on her face. The filly picked the gown up, trying to put her head through the wrong end of it, earning a giggle from Redheart, “Do you need some help?” Redheart asked and Smarty nodded, Redheart pulled the gown off Smarty’s head and began to help the filly into it. After a while Smarty was in the gown and sitting on the examination table, “Now just sit here while I go and get the doctor to help me with something. Can you wait here for me?” Redheart asked, Smarty nodded.
After a while of waiting Smarty started to grow inpatient and started to fidget she was getting bored and fast, waiting for Nurse Redheart to come back Smarty kept fidgeting about ready to burst after a few second Nurse Redheart came back in the room pushing a cart with a few objects on it with a seafoam colored green stallion following her, the stallion smiled, “Hello my name is doctor Stethoscope” He said “And it seems you are in need of some shots” Doctor Stethoscope said looking at Smarty “So little one can you hold still for me so we can get this over with and fast.” Smarty nodded.
Doctor Stethoscope trotted over to the cart. Picking up a needle Doctor Stethoscope went over to Smarty. He took the needle and stuck it into Smarty’s flank, the fillies eyes widened as Doctor Stethoscope pushed the plunger of the needle before pulling it out, Smarty let out a high pitched scream. Turning to Doctor Stethoscope she jumped on him, sinking her teeth into his right forearm.
Redheart panicked as she ran over to them to try pulling Smarty off of Stethoscope but nothing worked. Eventually Redheart ran out of the room to go and get Twilight and Big Mac. She found them just finishing up the paperwork Redheart ran up to them panting, “Ms.Sparkle and Mr.Macintosh your daughter...” Redheart took a deep breath, “She is biting the Doctor Stethoscope.”
***
It didn’t take long for them to pry Smarty off Doctor Stethoscope. Twilight was not happy with what she did and Smarty knew it. They had made sure that Doctor Stethoscope was alright and clearly he was. Doctor Stethoscope laughed a little when Twilight kept asking if he was going to be fine. He had explained that it was not the first time a foal bit him. Twilight walked out of the room relieved that she was not being sued. Twilight reluctantly walked over to Smarty and Big Mac, “Smarty Pants what is wrong with you?!” Twilight asked, “Have you lost your mind?!”
Smarty shook her head “But he bit me first!”
“No he didn’t! He was giving you a shot to make sure you stay healthy!” Twilight scolded Smarty who tried hiding behind Big Mac. At this point Twilight once again used the technique Cadence taught her, “Now Smarty you are staying with your father tonight.” Twilight cursed herself internally for calling Big Mac that word.
“Eeyup an’ ah plan on lettin’ ya’ eat as much’ sugar as yer’ little tummy can handle.” Big Mac said with a smug look on his face.
“And then you can deal with her having a stomach ache.” Twilight thought leaning down to give Smarty a kiss on the head, “Have fun Smarty and please behave. Mommy will see you tomorrow.” Twilight said, “Huh... Mommy Sparkle... that does have a bit of a nice ring to it” Twilight thought as they parted ways, “I could fix the guest bedroom up for Smarty as her own bedroom... maybe while she is staying with Big Mac I can go out to the toy store and buy her some toys along with getting her some Daring Doo bedsheets and all” Twilight thought as she kept trotting, “You know what that’s just what I will do!” Twilight turned around and started trotting in the other direction towards town.
This won't end well for little Smarty
Umm... using a child as a weapon in a dispute is not healthy for the child.
A bit of spelling and grammar issues, but all in all entertaining.
"He bit me first!"
...speaking of the emote, how are the others going to react to this? So far, I think only AJ of the Harmony Bearers knows. How are Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy going to react to this?
Also, what if someone informs Shining Armor that he's now an Uncle because Big Mac and Twilight had a baby together but Twilight's angry with Big Mac? With that exact wording, I can imagine hilarity ensuing! I can see it now...
Shining Armor: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?
Wait, what?
Shining Armor decks Big Mac right in the eye, and it turns into a roll-on-the-floor brawl. Twilight arrives to drop Smarty off with Big Mac for her day with him.
Big Brother, as much as I'm enjoying seeing Big Mac getting his flank handed to him, you shouldn't be beating up Smartypants' Daddy in front of her.
Smarty Pants: Why is he hurting my Daddy? Wait...Mommy's brother...UNCLE!
Shining Armor: Wait, what? *looks from Twilight to Smarty to Big Mac to Smarty* Wait, WHAT?
2674182 No it isn't, and I think Mac'll realise that long before Twilight does!
Smarty Pants, you let go of that doctor now! or so help me celestia, no books for a week!!
yeah, this is not going to end well.... at all....
Smartly Pants is going to get spoiled....
Poor kid...
I like it but it seems a little rushed I believe this chapter needs to have more character building in it. Also im calling it now that the reason why mac kept the doll was because it was the only way he could get twilight to talk to him.
2674182>>2674209
Well considering that this story is romance tagged I'm just waiting for twimac, which I expect to happen after twi and Mac have a fight in front of smarty
2674189
I love everything you had to say here
I was enjoying this... then I felt a sickening crack as Big Macs personality was broken and his past ignored for drama.
Seriously it can be retroactivly fixed in later chapters but Big Mac helped to raise Applebloom. Or did you change it were his parents are alive? I forget
ALL KINDS OF 'DAWW' WERE HAD!
2674280 He didn't really help raise her Big Mac would work in the fields while Granny Smith took care of Applebloom and Applejack thats how I see it at least
2674298 very well. Though I disagree.
2674306 I mean I would guess he helped out a little bit with them but thats all
Hmm Big Mac and twilight have joint custody of smartypants
And there is a romançe tag
Hmm?
Yay! To chapters so soon! I think Big Mac only said Smarty Pants will so much sugar just to annoy Twilight. I think Big Mac will be a great daddy, and I think being a great daddy towards Smarty Pants she will be attracted to him. Waiting for Big to confess he stole Smart Pants doll because it belonged to Twilight and he wanted her attention. That's what some boys do to get a certain girl's attention. Even though I don't do it cause I don't want to be seen as a jerk, but little kids do it, they don't know better
Defiantly interesting. I would say Mac has the upper hand do to the show giving the implementations that he helped raise Apple Bloom with Granny Smith, that and the environment he lives in ,I.e was born and bred in ponyvill meaning hi connections with the town go deep, its a really good atmosphere to raise a child, not to mention he has a much lower profile than twilight so there's no chance of smarty being used as something of a gossip tool,at least in canterlot, and his family has probably enough respect in ponyvill to keep gossip from going around.
As always cant wait to see more
kinda want to edit the sign in the picture for the fic to say 'Round 1'
only error I noticed, no space after the period
I dont know why... but I feel a new level of feels comin' on...
This story is entertain so far thank you for sharing it with me.
I kind of feel sorry for little Smarty Pants, I hope nothing too bad will happen to her.
nothing says problem like joint custody and a filly.
Smarty Pants is quickly becoming a very cute character.
Thank you best wish and I hop that you will continue.
Awesome!
And children biting doctors is, in fact, common.
I once saw my uncle (who is a dentist) got bitten by a kid on his arm.
He had to stitch it up afterwards.
2674189
That story...
How can anypony dislike this?
Wow, those two aren't even married and they are acting like a divorced couple
2674920
Well, like an angry divorced couple. If you watch Phineas and Ferb, Doctor Heinz and Charlene Doofenshmirtz are divorced and they're pretty cordial and well-behaved with each other (for the most part), especially where Vanessa is concerned.
I wonder if in a fit of rage if Twilight will turn Big Mac into a stuffed animal?
2674258
Nana Tia will great pleasure in spoiling her adopted granddaughter.
A good chapter but few things, one why was celestial there she sorta appeared out of no where and didn't even explain herself, why wasn't she surprised smarty was alive twi said that star swirl only did it for five minutes she did it permentently, no arguing on being the parents or any hesitation this could be use of the moment so take it as you will so overall more a explanation should be given. But besides that this chapter is pretty good, and now for the most important part I think parenting
Big Mac I think is the hard working dad, and would protect smarty from boys with a shotgun, so he's more of a protector, I would also expect him to raise her like how his family is hard working.
Twilight would be the caring mother willing to educate and explain the world to her, but for parenting skill she may lack the actual proper raising abilities because she is all text book, and she raised spike while studying so that might include she really doesn't understand parenting as she thinks she dose. In the end twiglight is all text book and Mac is traditional and goes with what he feels.
Lastly smarty, a few questions that shoul be answered age,
Why dose she view them as parents,. Also importantly dose she understand why there fighting over her and what she thinks about it.
Overall you got a good story and I hope to see it improve and update.
-cheers
Not too sure about letting her into school, considering her appearance and all. She'll be receiving quite a bit of teasing for it, that I am sure of. It's going to be tough telling who's going to be the better parent as both Twilight and Mac have experience with children. Twilight with Spike when he was born and Mac with Applebloom. Of course Twilight has the advantage of knowledge from both books and Cadence.
2674972
That reminds me of when I once asked my father if he would be less strict with his grandiose than he was with me.
His response?
"Are you kidding me? We'd spoil the hell out of them and leave you to deal with it."
So begins the great parental arms race.
The winner of course will be Grandma Celly and her giant inflatable bouncy castle.
2675067
I've heard that from my parents when they talk about my nephew. Poor Smarty is going to get spoiled by her Great-Grandma, two Grandmothers (one of which is older than the Great-grandma), and her Grandfather... speaking of which how will the Sparkles react to the news?
2675085
Relief, probably. They probably Twilight would become an old maid.
Let's not forget her aunts and uncles.
2675093
Auntie Lulu and Auntie Cady will try to keep Uncle Shining from killing Mac. Smarty will have no lack of family that's for sure
…I kinda feel sorry for Smarty, she doesn't realize that her "Parents" are "Divorced", and "not on good terms."
2675098
Auntie Applejack will be taking her and Auntie Apple Bloom out for ice cream a lot.
Let's not get started on the cousins...
2675105
Yeah that would be a bit much.
2675110
She'll have no shortage on family...
Oh, no...
She and Granny Smith will get up to shenanigans...
2675121
Shenanigans will indeed happen once old "Apfelblitz" and Tia and Lulu team up.
I don't blame Smarty Pants for screaming and biting a doctor. No one to my knowledge likes to get shots.
Also I don't care if Big Macintosh never really helped raise Apple Bloom he should know you don't give a filly tons of sugar.
What I want to know is what Granny Smith is going to think now that she's a great grandparent.
2675128
The pranks will become wonderfully convoluted.
2675140
We're talking about Granny Smith, here. She'll probably congratulate Big Mac on FINALLY getting laid.
Not knowing that he actually never did the deed...
2675208
Indeed
2675210 Let's not forget that Auntie Apple Bloom will likely try to induct Smarty Pants into the Cutie Mark Crusaders. If that happens:
2675222
Well... that's never good...
2675213
I wonder what pranks they will be, though.
2675230 Indeed it isn't. But when the CMC are involved nothing ever ends well.
2675233
This can only end hilariously, honestly.
2675231 Who knows? Also just wait unitl Smarty Pants finds out Big Macintosh and Cheerilee were once in love. Well let's just hope she doesn't try to play match maker cause if she does it will only further drive a wedge between Mommy Twilight and Daddy Macintosh.
2675276
I am pretty sure she wouldn't want to do that. She probably thinks Mommy should only be with Daddy.