Dovahkiin in Equestria

by Burnt Juice

Into the wilderness

Twilight and the Dovahkiin proceeded into the Everfree Forest. Twilight kept her composure but was notably nervous about this little adventure. The Dragonborn didn't think that this Everfree Forest could be all that dangerous. It is in a land of rainbows, valentine- looking hearts, and colorful talking ponies, he reasoned. "What could possibly be so dangerous," he thought out loud.

There was a mighty roar. "Well for one, there is that manticore walking about 30 feet in front off us," Twilight said.

"What is a manticore?" the Dragonborn asked, "I've never heard of it before, was it in a dlc?"

Twilight had no idea wtf dlc is and decided to ask once the dangerous manticore passed, but decided to explain what a manticore was. "A manticore is a lion with dragon's wings and a scorpion tail," she explained in a hushed tone. The manticore walked away without noticing them, no need for unnecassary violence.

"It must be necromancers!" The Dragonborn shouted, attracting the attention of the manticore. It came running back, hell bent on killing whatever thought itself worthy to attract its attention. The manticore found the nord and pony and marveled at how great a meal this new being would make. It charged, flashing its fangs at the dragonborn, leaving Twilight alone. It made the mistake of believing her to be some stupid pony, and not the star of a tv show, capable at doing whatever the writers make her do.

While the manticore was distracted, Twilight attempted to prepare a sleep spell in order to quall the threat. She heard the Dovahkiin shout something about too many fights, but decided to ignore him in order to keep her concentration.

Meanwhile the Dragonborn was getting overly pissed at Twilight's seeming unhelpfulness, and overly beaten up, due to the manticore. The Dragonborn was in to position to do battle with an enemy with this high a level. He was forced to resort to running in circles yelling, while the manticore attempted to impale him with its tail.

Twilight finished preparing her spell and launched it at the manticore. It was super-uneffective and did little to help the frantic Dragonborn. "Damn," She cursed, this was going to be a tougher fight than originally thought. She began to fire basic fire ball spells at the manticore. She succeeded in catching it on fire, but also hit the Dovahkiin. Both Nord and manticore attempted to put out the flames enveloping their bodies. The dragonborn was taught, when caught on fire- pretend to not even notice. So he stood there and gazed at the manticore as his flames dissapated. Burning fur and flesh filled the air as the manticore dropped dead, continuing to burn.

During the kind of epic battle with the manticore, Luna had raised the moon and night had befallen the land. The Dragonborn still couldn't explain it, but he had the need to do... normal human things such as eat, sleep, and relieve himself. Twilight ate some berries she had found near the area, and the dragonborn ate the manticore. The flames had actually roasted it to perfection. Upon seeing the Dragonborn eat another once living animal, Twilight vomited several times. The duo laid down and fell into an easy rest, without watching for more dangerous animals that could possibly be roaming the area. Not very smart.
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On the bright side, they got up feeling rested and rejuvinated. On the downside they woke up in cave, chained to a metal pole sticking out of the ground. "By the Nine!" exclaimed the Dragonborn. All around them were gems, lots and lots of gems.

"Where are we?" asked Twilight, "Why are there gems, I thought we were in the Everfree..."

"Under the Everfree actually," A mysterious voice answered her question. The Dragonborn noted that the voice sounded like a gollum with a ring fetish. A figure revealed itself from the shadows. "It turns out that after going around 30 meters beneath the surface pretty gemstones are everywhere!"

"Diamond dog!" shouted Twilight.

"hehehe, right you are little pony. Now you will dig us pretty precious gems," It replied.

While Twilight glared at the creature with contempt, the Dovahkiin wondered why she hadn't freed them from their bonds with magic. The diamond dog had left, after saying something about getting a cart. "Twilight!" the Dragonborn whispered forcefully, "free us already!" She stopped staring at where the diamond dog left, and would have facehoofed at her stupidity, had she not been restrained. She snapped the chains with a simple spell, freeing them.

"What do we do now,"she asked. Since the Dragonborn was more combat experiance and probably more used to a scenerio like this (she had no idea how right she was) he should make the plan to get them out of these caves. The Dovahkiin wasted no time in making his plan. He considered sneaking by the path the diamond dog had exited and sneak attacking him when he came back, but remembered that his sneak skill was very low. He didn't want to take the thing head on, that probably wouldn't end well. There was nothing in the cavern except rocks and the broken chain, He attempted to take the chain as a weapon, but found that it wasn't equipable. He suddenly got an idea while cursing at the chain. Yes that will work.
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How the Dragonborn managed to set up a trap with only rocks and chains in under a minute, Twilight will never know. He had used the chain as a tripwire, that when sprung ripped hastily placed rocks out of either wall, resulting in an avalance. Twilight had told him diamond dogs were stupid, but she doubted that they were that stupid. Even the Dragonborn was beginning to notice the all to obvious flaws in his plan. But there was no turning back. They heard grunts nearing there position, the diamond dog was almost there. Time for the moment of truth.

Upon rounding the corner into the cave holding that thing and the pony, the diamond dog noticed that they were free from their restraints. He panicked and ran straight towards them, hoping to overpower them with a mighty charge.
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"Wow, diamond dogs really are that stupid," said Twilight as she looked upon the wreckage of corridor. The diamond dog had managed to set off the trap and caved in the hallway while he was inside. The diamond dog was buried and was most likely dead. Twilight felt sorrow, but felt a greater need to get out of this Celestia forsaken cave.

Luckily there was another tunnel running in the opposite direction. The heroes followed the tunnel, hoping for a stoke of luck to be in their favor. Now things are just never that easy, now are they?

As they proceeded down the tunnel, the lights began to grow dim. The torches lighting the tunnel were placed farther and farther apart. Eventually the tunnel was submersed in complete darkness. Twilight's horn acted as a small guiding light, but only enough to see a few feet in front of them.
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They walked for what seemed like hours, though it was only about 20 minutes. "How long is this damn tunnel!" Complained the Dovahkiin, "This is worse than walking through a Nordic tomb, filled with draugr." The Dragonborn was beginning to get anxious, he just knew something was going to happen and the suspense was killing him. Twilight on the other hand remained vigilant and patient. She did not complained and simply pressed on.

They began to hear voices, soft and far off. The Dragonborn stopped his needless complaining and went cautiously. As they walked the voices became louder, they were coming toward them.

"I hate this freaken tunnel," one of the voices said, "why did the other workers make it so long!"

"We've been walking five minutes," said another voice, "we still have ways to go to get to the prisoners chamber."

"But did they have to make it so dark!"

"They ran out of torches, those new workers have no idea how to properly space them."

The voices were very close now, probably only about 50 feet away. Think, think!Thought the Dragonborn. Underpressure, he did the only think he thought was reasonable.

With a yell, the Dovahkiin ran straight at the voices. He rammed one of them to the ground as the other one stood dumbfounded. While the Dovahkiin beat the crap out of one of the diamond dogs, Twilight used her magic to take out the other one. Pokemon joke iminent.

BATTLE- TWILIGHT VS. DIAMOND DOG
DIAMOND DOG USED SCRATCH!
DIAMOND DOG MISSES!
TWILIGHT SPARKLE USES SLEEP!
IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE!
DIAMOND DOG FAINTS!
Meanwhile...

BATTLE- DRAGONBORN VS. DIAMOND DOG
DIAMOND DOG USES PARALYZE!
PARALYZE BACKFIRES! DIAMOND DOG IS PARALYZED!
DRAGONBORN USES PUMMEL!
DRAGONBORN MISSES!
DRAGONBORN USES PUMMEL!
IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE!
DIAMOND DOG FAINTS!

"Stupid level one diamond dogs think they can possibly challenge me!? HA!" The Dragonborn said as they walked away from their unconcious foes. The Dovahkiin had leveled up during the battle and increased his stamina. He put his skill point in destruction magic, causing extra fire damage. Unfortunatly the Dovahkiin currently has a grand total of 0 spells so it is useless at the moment.

"Actually, since you charged in they technically didn't challenge you." Twilight pointed out. The Dovahkiin saw her point and instead wondered how the diamond dogs got the first attack.

They walked for another few minutes until they saw it. A light, a light at the end of a tunnel. They both ran at it, happy to be free of the dark tunnel and underground depths of the Everfree.

Comments

[Uberdeathninja]

i am a hater of MLP:FIM but this, is by far the worst work of them all. please, for my sanity and the sanity of those around you, re install the fourth wall.

[Burnt Juice]

2496506
Wait if you hate MLP:FiM, why are you reading MLP fanfiction? Your logic is almost as insane as mine. Good day sir!

[Uberdeathninja]

2497862
to understand their foes weaknesses, one must live among them.

[Burnt Juice]

2497884
Your determination to understand and ultimately take down your foes is comendable. Unfortunately you must die alongside the fourth wall

[Uberdeathninja]

2497902
YOU ARE NO THREAT TO ME NOW BRONY!

[Burnt Juice]

2498048
Im no threat to you NOW. So that means I was a threat at one point? I'm proud to have been a threat... and... I really don't know where I was going with this...

[Uberdeathninja]

2503576
your logic implies that you were a threat at one point, but you were never one.

[Burnt Juice]

2559264
ya i guess i did kind of kill the joke... I think the only reason I'm even continued writing it is to get closure on the whole story... Or whatever it is...

AND TO EVERYONE ELSE-
good news! only one more chapter and it will be finished! forever! and ever! and freaken ever! There will totally never be any more. No im serious one more chapter and you can all resume your misarable little lives... and stuff... ya..........

[Toast]

Welp, that was interesting...