My Harshwhinnial

by horizon

Chpater 3: We inspect the best Cloudsdale stadium

Chpater 3

(AN: I can't start 2 complane abt flamming from NERDS until u GIVE ME SOEM FLAMES!!!! Odderwize guess I'll just fic more ok)

To get ready for the inspection I went back to my gym and flew 30 laps. In between the laps I did flips on the parallel bars. The parallel bars were pole vaults so I vaulted 50 feet. I was working up a sweat so I slicked back my mane with Gu energy gel. I did a long jump and soared out of the house entirely. But I didn't beat my own record so I felt depressed. I kicked an earth pony and ate lunch. Mom did her own training. It tasted like oats.

I went outside. Twilicorn was waiting there in frot of her hot air balloon which had racing stripes. She wore a T shirt saying "I inspected Fillydelphia & all I got was this lousy shirt" (we were going to inspect FillyD on the way too), which was spandex and showed off her brain muscles. (AN: Mucsles can b kewl on girlicorns too ok!!)

"Hi Twilicorn!" I said still depressed.

"Hi Medlle." She said back. We walked into her flying balloon (the ballast was gold meddles) and flew to Cloudsdale. On the way we visited Fillydelphia and Appleloosa. They bribed us with drugs but the steroids weren't good enough for the international Eqeustrian Games. When we got to the Games we flew out of the balloon. We went to the cloudsdale Stadium where athletes were competing. We inspected by competing. They handed us Powerthirsts and we all sang the powerthirst song.

"Give Powerthirst to your foals and they'll be good at SPORTS!
Make your foals fly ABNORMALLY FAST!
They'll fly as fast as ZEBRANS!
People will watch them flying and think they're ZEBRANS!
They'll fly as fast as ZEBRANS! Against actual ZEBRANS!
Then it'll be a tie and they'll be deported back to ZEBRA!" (AN: I don't own dese lyrics)

We flew in the Young Flyer's Competition. Rainbow Dashicorn was there.

"Dashicorn is so bucking hot." I said to Twilicorn, pointing to her as she rainboomed and got silver after me.

Suddenly Twilicorn looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we raced to a tie. Then I caught on.

"Hey it's ok I think YOU'RE a better athelete!" I said as we flew.

"Really?" emoted Twilicorn as she put her wing around me.

"Really." I said. "Besides we don't ever have to mention Dashicorn again since I learned to rainboom from watching her. She can go back to her lesbians with Applejack." I said disgustedly even though lesbians is totally ok and hot to watch.

The inspection went really well so I awarded Cloudsdale the Equestrian games. So did Twilicorn. And my mom, so it was anonymous. After the inspection, we took our gold medals and everyone asked for our autographs, including Dashicorn and Raricorn (AN: who's not an alicorn she just calls herself that).

Twilicorn and I vaulted back into the baalloon, but she didn't fly us home, instead she flew us into……… the Everfree Forest!

Comments

[Skywriter]

This fic makes Dostoyevsky look like a monkey flinging fecal matter at the backside of a restaurant placemat.

[nemryn]

My body was not prepared for this.

[Bradel]

I think I'm having a bad Fimfiction day.

Would you like to know something terrible? Truly awful? Today, I've read six stories: three from the feature box, one TVTropes recommendation, a blog comment by GhostOfHeraclitus, and this.

Excepting the blog comment, this is the best of them. Not because it's terrible. Because the prose is simple enough that it doesn't shatter under its own weight. Yes. I said it. Horizon rewriting "My Immortal" is, unironically, a better story than things appearing in the feature box. I can't even flame you properly, because this isn't bad enough to deserve it. I'm developing a newfound appreciation for the artistic merits of Legolas by Laura.

[horizon]

2264644
ok wen I sed "give me soem flames" it wuz a joke

ow my ego

[Posh]

Y duz everypony in da story call demselves a corn??? Iz everypony made out of corn in dis story? Did dat goffik guy Blueshift rite dis? Bcuz he ritez storys abott poniez bein pee n blimps n if rote dis den u ur just a POZER not a REEL GOFF.

where iz muh sweater horizon.

[NOT VIKTOR STRELNIKOV]

(AN: Mucsles can b kewl on girlicorns too ok!!)

Only pedophiles and sexual deviants(not the cool kind) will disagree. Musclegirls are best girls.

I said disgustedly even though lesbians is totally ok and hot to watch.

2real4me

[PresentPerfect]

I am being paid to read this

[Moosetasm]

How. How do you make bad grammar so masterfully?

[horizon]

9590494
Shady back-alley prereaders.