Note: This Fic will take darker tones around chapter 5, you have been warned.
When AppleJack, Rarity and Fluttershy go missing, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie set out to discover what's happened to them and hundreds of other ponies who have gone missing across Equestria. Little do they know that their friends have been brainwashed and enslaved by a terrible creature known only as The Dark One.
MEANWHILE:
Her whole life, Trixie just wanted power and respect. Never desiring friends she made it her goal to grow into one of the most respected and beloved ponies in all of Equestria. But when Twilight Sparkle humiliated her, that dream died. Now, with the arrival of The Dark One, Trixie has a chance at the power she's desired all these years, but is it what she truly needs?
Warning: Contains mild Swearing, Pony related violence and innuendos
You, my good sir (or madam), need to go over your writing with a fine-toothed comb. I found numerous spelling and grammar errors, as well as an outburst of erratic capitalization.
Another problem was that it seems formulaic (but then again, Trixie fics all follow the same two paths, I guess it can't really be helped). What i'm trying to say is that there isn't much novelty in the piece. if you continue writing, i'd like to see the tropes so commonly used in these fics (alcoholic abusive fathers, trixie is angry at twilight) used in a more innovative way.
Still, you did an all right job.
3/5
188051
Thanks :) I am going through and working out the typos and grammatical errors. As for the trope of Trixie's father being included, it was included due to a comment i made on a youtube video of a filly Trixie crying. Someone told me to include it in a fan-fic. I have plans for dear Trixie in the future of this fic, don't worry. :)
Please oh please write more, I wanna know how Rarity and Applejack disappears!!
226788
All in good time :) I'm working on the next chapter now, should be ready next week
For now I'm too sleepy to write
Well....
Dis Gun b good.
Good job. I get the feeling that at least one of the mane six will go insane.