How the hell did this happen? Or should that now be hay?

by Lucky424

What do we you call you?

And now you join me back in the action....

Time to check on the target. Wait, what? Their armour is bullet proof?? Fuck!!! Screw centre mass, the next one is going between his fucking eyes, here we go again, get a good grip.....

Just as I took my second breath and held it in coming up to aim, the guard dog, Oh the irony, looked up from the dent in it's armour and straight at me, and that's when I squeezed the trigger the second time. The bullet flew straight and true, and I was reward with brains, blood and bone exploding out the back of it's head. There were three very high pitched screams which could've only come from one source, and just a I was about to approach, two dogs wearing no armour appeared. I didn't recognise them from the show, which meant valid targets, especially as the were both armed with a spear. They looked at the dead guard for a while, whilst I decided which to shoot first. I wasn't give a choice as the bigger of the two approached the fillies and the I heard it's voice.

“Ponies tell us what happened. Now”

The next voice I heard left me a little shocked. I was expecting a brash, tom-coltish voice, or perhaps one with a southern drawl to it. Instead I heard the sweetest voice you could imagine. The show doesn't even do it justice!!

“W-w-we don't know. T-t-there was l-l-l-loud bang and then a dink, and he looked down and back up. And then there was another bang and his head just exploded”

For some reason, the dog asking questions wasn't too happy, but his next statement made me act. Celestia can send me to the sun. There was no way I was letting that happen.

“Ponies tell us truth. Or I stab orange one again. Serve her right for trying to fly away”

As I started to stand I could here a fearful whimper. I gave a quick glance around and realised there were only three sets of dog tracks. I had killed one. Two left. And against a far rock, were two set of armour. Okay, so they were all guard/soldier dogs. As I had the realisation, I made my self known.

“Hey fuck wit!! Leave. The. Fillies. Alone. Or feel my wrath.”

They both turned to look at me and the smaller one gave a snort of laughter, all he could see was the whites of my eyes.

“What is two eyes going to do to us? Stare us too death? Who and what are you?”

By this point they had moved away from the fillies, so I could shoot and not worry about any collateral. I didn't know if this world knew of humans, so I thought I'd play it safe. The big one took a step forward and stopped, realising I wasn't just a set of eyes.

“Ha, he stand like dog, but he has funny fir, and his spear not sharp. He might taste good. I go get him”

Okay, dogs eat meat. And they think my rifle is a spear. Morons. Time to put an end to this!!

“You want to know who I am? Creatures such as yourselves do not deserve to know. As to what I am? I.....am the Demon of the Everfree, and now you shall die.”

This seemed to rile up the small one and he charged at me. If they were slightly more intelligent, then they would've realised that charging me at the same time was the best way to go. Oh well. As Runt, as I decided to call him, came at me, I got ready to move. I saw the spear tip about a metre away and moved to my left. As it passed I grabbed the spear and twisted it out of Runt's grip, swinging around in a three sixty and catching him in the back of his knees. He went down instantly, and I put my foot on his chest, leaning my weight on him. At this time, I was expecting to get gored by Grunt's (that's the other one by the way) spear. This didn't happen, and I was not about to let these two go to do whatever they had done again. Screw the ROE. They don't exist here. I shouldered my rifle and aimed at his head.

“Any last words?”

“NO!! Please!! We do anyth....”Boom!!!!

“Too many words.”

As I turned around, I found out why Grunt hadn't attacked yet. If front of him, with his spear pointing at them were a rough looking Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, but the one that made me angriest was Scootaloo. I could see blood dripping from her left wing, which looked like it was broken as well. I looked Grunt square in the eyes, thankfully already aiming at him.

“You did not want to show them to me. Now you have just made me angry.”

His reply was a bit cockier then I expected. “Ha! You come for little ponies. You no hurt them to get to me! I not give them up! So you leave now!”

“Really? How close do you think I have to be to use this?” I asked, patting my rifle.

He look at Braindead (sue me), a little bit behind him, and I saw his eyes go wide, so he tried to gore one of the fillies, but he wasn't fast enough. I squeezed the trigger, and there was a flash followed by more screaming from the girls, and a howl from Grunt. His left paw was clutching his right arm where I'd shot it, and he was walking backwards dragging his spear limply in his right paw.

I moved forward, never taking my aim off him and got between him and the fillies. Once I ascertained they were safe, I turned my attention back to Grunt. “As I said, by showing them to me, you have made me angry.” I pulled the trigger twice more, rendering his legs useless. I wanted to see him suffer. I walked up to him and put the muzzle right against his snout, and said the same thing I said to Runt. “Any last words?”

Never had I seen such defiance and hatred in anythings eyes as he stared back at me and grinned.

“Yes. Die”

I pulled the trigger as I felt something jab in to my side. A quick dead man check to make sure he was down, I looked to my right.

“Motherfucker!!!” The bastard had managed to get his spear in to his good paw and stuck in just above my kidney, but thankfully not that deep. I pulled it out, Fuck that hurt!!!, and put pressure on the wound, about to use my dressing when I head crying just behind me. Turning around, I saw Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, hugging a now unconscious Scootaloo, whose wing was still bleeding. I did not know how old they were, and I was still young, in human terms. I was not about to be selfish when they still had much to live for. Hell, they still didn't have their Cutie Marks. I set my rifle to safe and slung it around my back, then started limping my way over.

The girls stopped crying and started shaking uncontrollably out of fear. Hell, in that situation, I'd have pissed myself, so they were doing all right. I knelt down beside them and spoke to them in the most gentle voice I could muster.

“Girls, I am not here to harm you, I am here to help you. But you must help me. Where are you saddle bags?”

Sweetie Belle looked me in the eyes, and they must have been radiating kindness or something, for she nodded towards Grunt's body. Sure enough I found some bandages, but not enough. Well, at least they've learnt something from all their crusading! I walked back over and nudged them gently away from Scootaloo. I took my own dressing and wrapped it around the spear wound, not tight enough to block movement, but enough to stop the bleeding. As I tied it off, she stirred and looked at me in complete terror. I was about to explain when someone---sorry, somepony else did for me.

“It's Ok Scoots, he's jus' tryin' to help ya......aren't ya?” I looked up at a hopeful yellow filly looking at me and nodded. I returned my gaze to Scootaloo and put my gloved hand on her cheek. If Pegasus wings are as sensitive as the fandom makes out, this is going to be immensely painful for her, and I don't know if my painkillers will work for them.

I was about to call her by name, but stopped myself just in time. “Young one, this is going to be very painful, but if I do not do this, it could make it worse in the long run. May I continue?” They may be young, but they have a choice. She looked me in the eyes again and nodded, lowering her head and closing here eyes. Here we go, if her scream don't bring any visitors, then we're safe...for now.

I looked to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, for this I needed their help. “Hold her steady, but allow me access to her wing” They both moved in and held her down by her shoulders and flanks. I grabbed Runt's spear and broke the wood in two. I needed a splint of some sort.

“Okay, on the count of three.”

“One”

“Two”

“Three" As I said it out loud, I moved the wing to what looked like a more natural position. As long as we got her to hospital quick it should be all right. The screams that rent through the air were bone-chilling, and as I splinted her wing in to position, she finally cave to the pain and lost consciousness again. I left her on the ground with the other two and dragged the bodies over to the rock. I picked up the fillies saddle bags, Scootaloo and told the others to follow. I left them at the tree line and told them NOT to look. If these dogs were operating from a pack, the others needed a warning. I grabbed the tip of Runt's spear, and with Braindead being the largest, carved a message in to his chest.

I am the Demon of the Everfree. All
ponies who enter here are under my
protection. If you try to claim any as
your own, you will meet the same fate.

After I finished my grim task I head back to the girls. With an extra bandage, I made a makeshift pouch to carry Scootaloo on my back, whilst the other two split the contents of her saddle bag between them. I should have used it on my wound, but their needs came first. This wasn't from any sort of training, it's just who I was. I could then head back through the forest to the clearing, then follow the fillies tracks to Ponyville, and to safety for them. And to try grab a bandage for the hole in my side!!

As we were about to set off, I head a timid voice behind me, and turned to see Sweetie Belle looking at me with a mix of hope and fear on her face as she posed her question.

“Are you really a Demon of the Everfree?”

“No. No I'm not. I just said that in the hopes they would give you up peacefully”

“Did you save just so you could make us your slaves? O-o-or eat us?”

“......I...I stepped in because it is the right thing to do, and yes, I do eat meat.”

“What do we you call you? Because “Demon” isn't a very nice name”

“You can call me.....” Fuck it, why not? I have been since I got here. Hell, even my bleeding has stopped!! “.....Lucky”

“Okay Mr Lucky!!” Man, that makes me feel old!! “Wait, why are we heading back in to the forest?”

“Listen young one, I am not from.....around here. I do not know my way, so we will head back to where you encountered the dogs, and then on to your home from there. But you must be quiet from here until we get there. By the way, what is your home called?” I can't just come out and say it.

“We live in Ponyville.”

“Sounds nice. Lets get going, and remember, no talking from now on.”

I got two nods in return.

Author's Note:

So here's how things will go. Between my job, reading ponies, and blowing shit up on my Xbox, I will try to get some more writing done. I am currently editing Ch 4, and will post it as soon as I'm done, the rest will come sporadically. I have no schedule and they will be done when they are done.

Now some advice I was given was not to make this a Gary Stu. As you might have gathered, this is a self insert. The events preceding my arrival in Equestria actually happened, but went off without a hitch. Now as to the Gary Stu bit, I am not strong, I am not fast, and I am not intelligent. Well, enough that the I'm paid to fix planes.....and am fit enough for the job.

I will not start using magic. I will not gain vast amounts of speed and strength. I will gain some over the current time period I have planned, but nothing drastic. And I will not be immune to magic.....well, most of it. I have some plans for being a jackass and annoying a certain librarian. Any advice you can give will be greatly received, unless it's just "you suck, go away", which will be promptly ignored. I have written this with no pre-reader or editor, so if you spot any mistakes, please point them out.

Comments

[Lord Charles]

Oh so you plan to troll twilight you now my loyalty from here on also you can make the gravity 1/2 of earths gravity and he'll be stronger with out actually being stronger.

[Lucky424]

2130340 Actually, I was thinking about that, but I want to get fitter. Therefore the "me" in this story, unlike my lazy ass in real life, wants to improve.
And how would he do that if it was too easy? Not everything is going to go right for "me". As for Miss Sparkle, well......there is going to be a bit of a time jump before
the first proper encounter. And you know how she likes her library organised? Well..... The next chapter(s, possibly) should be up in a few hours.

[Lord Charles]

2130617 cant wait

[Tearsintheshadows]

I like

[Fattymagee1]

I.....am the Demon of the Everfree, and now you shall die.

Lucky... I don't know why, but I lolled at that for some reason.

[sirraf]

I GARLAND WILL... uh KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!

[no longer on]

Wow, if they weren't dogs, they'd make great pussies!!

I lol'd. A LOT!!

[Railroad Brony]

What was that operation that was going on at the beginning? Loading a nuke?

[FourthWallAfroBrony]

In the end, having a limited supply of water and a not very nutritionally supply of Haribo, I started walking towards the opposite end of the hall where I had seen a door, keeping to the shadows and watching for anything that might like to snack on a fresh human.

I was eating gummy bears when I got to this, and that made my day.