How the hell did this happen? Or should that now be hay?

by Lucky424

Nightmares and regaining consciousness

Ring ring. Hello. Ring ring. Hello. Ring ring. Hello. Ring ring. Hello. Ring ring. Hello.
Ring ring. YOU HAVE A BAD CONECTION!!!

Ring ring. Hello. Ring ring. Hello. “Hello?”

“You. Pub. Now.” Click.

“What?” Looking at my call history, it was my best mate ringing. All he had said was pub now. That's strange, there's only two pubs in town, and he doesn't even live here. I rang him back.

“'sup?”

“Dude, where exactly are you?”

“I'm in the pub, are you coming or what?”

“I can't mate, I'm on camp.”

“Yeah, I know. It's the fifteenth. You know, the weekend between our birthdays, the one where you got the sixteenth off and we all came up here to experience Oxford for the night?”

“Oh fuck, I forgot about that, what time is it?”

“It's twenty-thirty. We got a taxi booked for twenty two hundred. We're down in, hold on. HEY DICKLESS, WHAT'S THIS BAR CALLED? OK THANKS. We're in the Eagle. Get you arse down here.”

“Okay, let me just grab a quick shower, I'll be down in thirty.”

“No worries mate, I'll have a cold glass of Ruby Gold waiting for you.” Click.

Dragging my ass off my bed, I hit play on my stereo to get me in the mood for partying. I made my way over to the shower and turned it on whilst filling the sink with water. 'It may be our birthday weekend, and we may not give a shit, but we might as well look good for the ladies!' I went through my usual morning routine and had a shave followed by a shower, then dried myself off.

As I gathered my clothes for the evening, I started to dance to the current song playing. I stopped when I thought I heard a girl giggling. 'Okay, I don't have a girlfriend, so who the hell was that?' With the feeling of being watched, I pulled on a pair of my pulling boxers, you know the ones that say 'remember my name, you'll be screaming it later', a pair of socks and my freshly ironed jeans. 'Thank you camp laundry service!!!' Going to my wardrobe, I stopped to think about whether to go in a t shirt or shirt. Choosing a t shirt, I then had to decide what one to wear out. Going through my black ones, I came across four that I normally only wear when on my own.

"Fuck it they're my friends, they all ready know. If they can't accept it, tough shit! I'm secure in my masculinity!!"

Choosing my favourite of the four, I put it on followed by a jacket. I turned and looked in my mirror. "Looking good, just one last thing. Where's my hair gel?" Seeing it on my shelf, I picked it up and got closer to the mirror. It felt like there was something on the other side. As my jacket fell open, I seemed to pick up on a happiness radiating from it. Ignoring this, I hit the lights and made my way to the pub for some fun, drinking, and at the amount we drink, more than likely no sex!!

---

I could see a bright light. Was I dead?

"Doctor, his vitals are spiking. He's coming round!!"

"What? It's too early, give him another dose of sedative."

"Yes Doctor." Beep......Beep......Beep......Beep......"Vitals are lowering back down. He's loosing consciousness again."

"Good, let's hurry up in case they wear off again." No, not dead. But it feels like I will be soon. The darkness crept in once more.

---

I was falling head first. I don't how long I have been falling, and I don't know how long until I stop. The darkness crowded round me as I sped even further down. I looked 'up' and saw a light that was moving at the same speed as me. As I looked on in hope, I could hear voices echoing around me, my own mixed in with them.

“…...swear by Almighty God that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, Her Heirs and Successors, and that I will, as in duty bound, honestly and faithfully defend Her Majesty, Her Heirs and Successors, in Person, Crown and Dignity against all enemies, and will observe and obey all orders of Her Majesty, Her Heirs and Successors, and of the Air Officers and Officers set over me. So Help me God.”

It repeated over on over until a voice broke out from the rest. My own voice.

“You have failed. You have quit you duty. You have broken your oath. Even your own parents were not there that day. To them you were and still are filth. Your friends will all abandon you. You will be alone for the rest of your days”

I tried to shut it out, but it just kept getting louder and louder. My father was away and my mother could not make it. They wanted to be there. I KNOW they did.

“You swore to protect your people. You failed as you are no longer there. Would you protect you country from you friends. From you family?”

As the voice said this light suddenly stopped and turned for me. I panicked at first, but then found I was in a room with a beating heart. I was in my uniform armed with a standard L85 and a full combat load. The voice spoke again. “That represents the heart of you nation. What will you protect it from?”

As it said this, the doors opened to reveal a street. It was empty at first, but then people started to appear at the far end. Enemies of my country, mixed with nationals. They all marched along, chanting the same thing.

“We want the heart. We want the heart. We want the heart. We want the heart.”

I could not fire on them, they had not attacked me yet. They had made it about half way when their features came in to view. They we no longer people. Their faces were distorted and their bodies twisted like some sort of sick experiment. It did not matter. I started firing round after round, but more just took the places of the ones I killed.

When they had made it three quarters of the way down, the building behind me started to twist out of the ground hundreds of feet in the air. This caused the creatures to start running towards it. I found some stairs that rotated around the outside and darted up them. I had to protect the heart of the nation. It was my duty. But I still had a feeling of being watched from the shadows.

I had reached the top of the tower. There was only one way up and the heart was on a plinth as far away as possible. I could hear the creatures getting nearer, and then the first one crested the steps. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it!!

“Simon? What are you doing?”

“We just want the heart. You wouldn't deny you friends would you?”

I looked to the other creatures that had come up behind him. Friends. Family. Ones I would give my life for in a heartbeat. And yet they were the ones after my charge. I aimed my rifle at him.

“You may be my friend, but I will do my duty. Stay where you are, all of you!”

He took another step forward. 'crack' He dropped to the floor no longer moving. This didn't deter any of the others, and I kept firing. My friends and family were down. I was out of ammo. The rest of the creatures made the final step and approached slowly. I threw my weapon at them in frustration and despair. There was only one way to make sure they didn't get the heart.

I picked it up and walked to the edge.

“I have done my duty.” I jumped.

As I fell, I got a feeling of helplessness and despair from another, and I heard a female voice call after me.

"NO!!!!! AFTER HIM!!!!”

---

Beep......

Beep......

Beep......

Beep......

Beep......

Beep......

Ugh, what's that noise?And what smells like disinfectant? Opening my eyes, I was rewarded with only half of my vision. Reaching up gently, I felt a bandage over my left eye. Looking down at my body, I noticed more bandages around my midsection, and around my right forearm. Okay, two options here. The last month was real, and that fight in Canterlot happened. Or, more than likely, that blast put me in a coma, and that was my brains fucked up way of dealing with it.

Looking around for a page nurse button, I couldn't see anything of the sort. Deciding that sitting around wasn't going to do me any good, I swung my legs over the edge and stood up stretching slowly. I then noticed it was a little chilly in the room, and for a good reason. This was definitely not an earth hospital.

---

“...so, as I said your majesty, we do not know when, or even if he will awaken, as we do not know much about his species. Perhaps you could enter his dreams and see why he remains asleep?”

The comment caught Princess Luna off guard, as she still had not worked up the courage to return, and she was about to reply when a shout interrupted her.

“Where the fuck are my clothes?”

There was a blur of motion as the guards outside the creatures door charged in, horns alight and spears ready for action in case the creature tried anything. Instead it continued to speak.

“Okay, so.....not a dream. May I ask one of you fine stallions what happened to my clothes?”

---

The guards just stared at me in a mix of what looked like awe, shock and fear. I suppose they thought that walking around in the state I was in was not a good thing. I was about to ask them again when a voice from behind me started to speak.

“Your clothes were caked in mud and blood, had numerous tears in them, and were not fit to clean the floors with. We had them incinerated.”

Turning around, I expected to come face to face with a nurse or orderly, but what greeted me was something else entirely. Standing just a little shorter than me, she had a long horn and large wings. The crown and breast plate we emblazoned with purple gems, her soft violet eyes radiated a kindness that has not been seen on our world for generations and her voice was full of concern and gentleness. Princess Celestia. Now, I'm sure most of you would do the right thing, and be all courteous and shit. Me? Nope. Don't forget I shot her!

It must've been a pretty funny sight, a half-mummified naked human tearing out of the door and charging past a shocked Princess Luna screaming like a little girl. I didn't care. I just wanted to get somewhere safe. Somewhere not.....here.

Seeing the sign saying “Exit”, I changed my direction and was rewarded with wide open doors leading to a corridor. Darting out of it, I became aware that even though this was the same building, where I had just been was the medical wing, and I now found myself running around the corridors of Canterlot Castle.

Hearing hoofsteps in front of me, I tried the nearest door, which thankfully was unlocked. Slipping inside, I was a little surprised to see where I had ended up. There were three beds in here, too small for adults, and on each one was a set of saddle bags. It was then that the previous days memories came back to me, and I realised this was the CMC's guest room. Grabbing a towel for decency, I cracked the door open to see if the coast was clear.

It was, so I started to creep along the corridor, hoping to find either the exit or my gear. Trying another door, I found some of the guards equipment. Choosing one of their spears, I now had a way of defending myself. As I continued to stalk along, I could here what sounded like a debate going on. I found a balcony overlooking the main court hall and could see a whole battalion of guards read to go on command.

---

“But Princess, we know that it's dangerous, and it is now loose in the castle. What if he decides to attack you again?”

“Come now Captain Armour, are you not the one, after you confronted him, that said he saved the lives of not just myself , but your sister and her friends as well?”

“That may be true your highness, but right now it is frightened in a unknown location. That would make anything dangerous.”

---

As I waited for the rebuttal, I could feel like something was watching me. Turning around slowly, I came face to face with a massive ball of candy floss that had big blue eyes and a smile that gave the Cheshire Cat a run for it's money.

“Hi!”

“Aaaaaah”

As I started screaming, I moved backwards, forgetting where I was. I suddenly felt a loss of weight as I backed over the the railing and started to fall. “FUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKK!!” When I got near the bottom, I landed on something soft and bony. Opening my eye, I looked below me, and there sprawled out on the floor, with me on top of her, was Celestia. Again. How long had I been wandering the castle? And where the fuck is that towel?

My thoughts came to an end as I heard metal scraping the floor and saw lots of lights igniting. Grabbing the spear, I stood and turned slowly to greet my opponents. There were so many of them, not even a Gatling Gun could have helped me here. I had never used a spear before, but I tried to take to the best fighting stance I could. A few of the guards backed up a bit, but even more stepped forward, with Armour leading the pack. “Lower the spear and you shall not come to harm, I give you my word.”

I just grunted in reply, ready to fight when the gentle voice again sounded from behind me. “Everypony, lower your weapons.” She got some concerned looks from the guards, but they did as as she said. She then stood and and started towards me. Now I know it's stupid to point a weapon a nigh immortal being, but I was running purely on adrenaline, and that is when she spoke to me again. “It seems that you have my soldiers a little worried. Perhaps you could stop pointing that at me. You may continue to hold it if it makes you feel safe.”

There was just something reassuring about her voice, and I pulled the spear back to hold it across my chest. Just then there was a commotion near the door as three fillies pushed the guards out of the way and darted up to me. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked fine, and Scootaloo's wing was still splinted, but other than that she was okay. Until she started to shout at me.

“And just where the hay have you been mister? We came to check up on you and get told you ran away. We have spent the past three hours looking over the castle for you” I was wandering around for three hours? “Now, you are going to put down that spear and follow us back to the infirmary, where we can get a better look at your wounds.”

As she finished up my head started swimming, and I started to feel quite nauseas. Princess Celestia then approached and started talking again. “Please do as they ask, I would hate to see you in any worse condition that you are in now.” The nausea started to get worse, and I didn't even have time to look for a plant pot.........

That was not the best way to make a first impression on the ruler of this land, I wonder how long it'll take her to clean her coat and mane. That was the last thing to go through my head as the pain caught up and the adrenaline tapered off.

---

The ponies gathered could not believe it. At first it had fallen screaming something, landed on their princess, wielded a weapon against all of them, and then threw up on her highness. As she just stared blankly at it, the creature teetered back and forth, before it said something none of them were expecting.

“Ow.”

It then fainted, dropping the spear and hitting the ground like a rock. Celestia had herself a little laugh before she started to issue orders. “Captain Armour, please return him to his hospital room, and have guards posted inside and outside at all times. Then fetch me the cooking staff, including the Griffon chef for when their ambassador is here. I have a feeling that his species eats meat.”

“Yes, your highness.”

She turned to the waiting fillies. “You three go with him, and make sure he is comfortable. Oh, and get the castle tailor to make some coverings for him. He seemed rather upset we had taken his clothes.”

“There will be no need for that, your highness.” As she turned, the Element Bearers entered the hall, albeit with a reluctant Pinkie Pie. “When your sister entered his dreams on the first day he was here, she said that his clothes when with his friends and family were quite different to what she called his 'Uniform'. I have therefore taken the liberty to make these items for him, and they can be delivered at a time of your choosing. It is a shame she refuses to go back, there must be many wonderful things in his mind!!!”

“Thank you Rarity, I'm sure they will be much appreciated. And I will be speaking to Luna about this soon.” Rarity gave a graceful bow as Celestia turned her attention to another. “Now, as for you Miss Pie......”

Comments

[Lucky424]

2146267 Thank you. I must be doing something right!!

I've had 5 people, including yourself, favourite it in the last 2 hours!!
And I've gained 4 watchers since posting it!!

I'm going to go hide in the woods now.