• Published 15th Feb 2013
  • 4,843 Views, 320 Comments

How the hell did this happen? Or should that now be hay? - Lucky424



Whilst on a special duty, a brony experiences a explosion that is not typical.....and sends him somewhere not possible.

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The night before the bug hunt.

“So, why should I believe you?” I was sat in the Changelings guest room, and he had told me everything he told Luna and Celestia. I would have preferred the dungeon, but Celestia said no. She also said I couldn't hurt him. She didn't say anything about intimidating him though.

“I didn't say you should. I just told you the truth. It is up to you whether you believe me or not.”

“If you want me to believe you, then why don't you tell me your real name?”

“Because Pokey is my name. I had it legally changed by the mayor of Prancesylvania after I got married. You ask around there for Pokey and you'll get pointed in my direction.”

“I see. How did you meet your wife?”

“In school. I was always sweet on her, and then at the graduation dance......her date tried to take something that wasn't his...yet.”

“And what happened?”

“It was the first time I spent a night in a jail cell. But it was worth it.”

“The first time?”

“Yes, I have been in twice. The second time was for everypony else’s safety.”

“Why, what did you do?”

“A few years after the graduation, the stallion returned. We were dating at the time, and he assaulted her in front of everypony. I stepped in to stop him, to try and calm him down, but he just started to fight harder. I.....used too much magic. I.....killed.....him. I was taken to the cells to await my trial, but I was released the next day.”

“Why did they release you? What you are saying is you murdered him. Your chances aren't looking any better.”

“Because there were so many eyewitness to the event, one of them was the mayor. They petitioned the council to free me, even the ones that didn't know me. They saw I just tried to defend myself and my love..... but I still need to answer for his death.”

“Wait here.” I got up from my seat and walked out in to the corridor. The princesses and the Bearers were waiting for me. “Applejack?”

“He's telling the truth. Ah didn't even get a whiff of a lie....and there was regret about that stallion. He really does want to repay his debt fer that.”

“Celestia, Luna, what do we do about that?”

“What would you do as a last resort if one pony was attacking another?”

“As a last resort? I'd take their life, but only if I had no other options. There isn't always another way.”

“True, and he did say he used to much magic. It was an accident. I do not think we need do anything about it now. What is your recommendation, Captain?”

“Let him go. He isn't a threat, and he's got a kid on the way. I'm not about to take away a childs father.”

“That is very noble of you captain.”

“I want to speak with him some more. See if I can't get his help finding the hive.”

“Very well, but remember not to injure him.”


“Don't worry ma'am, I won't touch him.” I re-entered the room and took my seat opposite him again. “So, you've admitted to killing an Equestrian citizen. Do you know what the penalty is for that?”

“No.”

“I'm afraid the penalty is death. But, if you were to help me, I may be able to get you life instead.”

“But what would my child think? How would me wife cope with me alive but no longer able to be with her. I'll help you, and I'll also accept the full punishment.”

“Are you sure that is what you want?”

“I would rather my child grows up without a father then with one who can not see them. I understand you can't find the hive. It is because you are looking from the air, have the scouts fly about a hundred hooves off the ground, they should be able to find it then.”

“Thank you. Now are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“No.....but it must be done.”

“Very well, follow me.” I got up and walked to the door, turning to see he was following. I opened the door and just winked to the shocked faces of the princesses, before ordering some guards to surround him. We started marching towards the main entrance of the castle.

“Uh, Captain?”

“Yes?”

“Is the execution....public?”

“Not usually, but the crowds heard we had a Changeling, and they want blood for Manehatten. I know you weren't there, but do you think these ponies will listen?”

“No. Very well. Lets get this over.” I nodded and pushed the door open, the midday sun blinding those that hadn't prepared. The guards shoved Pokey out of the door and walked back in. After a moment he opened his eyes and looked around, seeing the gardens empty. “I don't understand....”

“Pokey, go home to your wife.”

“What?”

“I'm sorry, but I needed information, and that was the easiest way. Both the princesses and myself agree that you acted in self defence and defence of another. You have a child on the way, make sure you bring them up right.” I nodded to the two pegasi guards who had swooped down behind him. “These gentlecolts will escort you, and ensure no harm comes to you.”

“What if they just said they would and they're going to kill me anyway?”

“Why don't you ask them where their families come from?” I just smiled and closed the door. I could hear one of the guards talking.

“I've always want to see Prancesylvania, my grandfather always tells stories of it. Sir, could you please show us our home?”

I heard three sets of wings start to beat as they flew away. “Captain.”

“Ma'am.”

“Why did you just release a Changeling?” I thought it would be Celestia or Luna coming to chide me for what I did to him, but on turning around I came face to face with a concerned Cadence and a very pissed of Shining Armour.

“Well, my wife asked you a question. Are you going to answer it, captain?”

“Because he isn't one of Chrysalis' Changelings. He comes from the north.”

“HE WAS STILL A CHANGELING!!”

“Yes, a Changeling with a pegasus mother, married to a pony, and expecting their first foal together.”

“I don't understand. How?”

“Ask Celestia about Prancesylvania, she'll explain everything. But how did you two know?”

“Cadence felt a sudden rush of love, and we came here to find it. It was coming from that Changeling.”

“He was probably thinking about his wife. I kind of gave him the impression he was on his way to be executed.”

I saw the disapproving look from Cadence as she posed her question. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“I broke a Changeling's wings and horn off for information, Celestia told me I couldn't hurt this one, so I had to resort to other measures.”

“CAPTAIN FIRE RAIN! REPORT TO OUR CHAMBERS IMMEDIATELY!!!!”


“And now I'm going to get my ass handed to me. Nice knowing you two, and I hope you have a wonderful life together.”


“....and so that's the dimensions of it. We are going to need a lot of ponies to take it down.”


The recon scouts had found the Hive, and it was massive. They had managed to get a few good pictures as well. There was a long path, heading in to a shallow crater, right in to the structure. It was also a good kill zone.

“And another thing, they don't guard it during the day, only at night. And it wasn't all that strange black stuff. There were massive plates of metal, and we found construction going on on top. They were using metal for support, then building it up with the black stuff.”

I was sat in the corner with 'The Seven's', as we had become known. We had even adopted a squad 'symbol', a seven leafed clover. Most ponies, including the guards, gave us a wide birth. They were scared of us. There had been skirmishes on the borders for years, but a few soldiers taking on overwhelming odds? That hadn't happened in Equestria for centuries.


“Captain Fire Rain?” I snapped my head up to the lunar princess, once again dressed in her battle clothes.

“Ma'am?”

“What do you think?”

“I'm beginning to wish we had a nuke.”

“Pray tell, what is a 'nuke'?”

“Remember how Nova hit Manehatten?”

“Yes, it was truly an amazing accomplishment.”

“Yes it was. A nuke is like that, but it doesn't differentiate between buildings or living things. It destroys them all. And it has a blast radius about twenty times larger than Manehatten. If we had one of those, that hive would just be a black spot on the ground by now.”

“Sir, I have a suggestion.”

“What is it Nova?”

“I can channel that spell in to an object, and turn it in to a bomb. Problem is, I can't use a specific type. If I do that, then it won't just kill the Changelings. Anything with the blast radius will likely not survive.”

Celestia came in at that moment. “Are we really considering this. Wiping out a species so that ours is not longer threatened?”

“Princess Celestia, we will not be wiping out a species. I'm sure Prancesylvania isn't the only pony-changeling colony. If they can do it, there must be more. But this hive must be taken out. If not, they may strike again, and this time you may not be so lucky.”

“Very well, what is the plan?”

“Nova, how long will it take you to make a spell bomb big enough to take out that structure?”

“Three days, with no interruptions. It would take less, but I will need to rest occasionally.”

“Find somewhere secluded and then start channelling. Let me know when it's done.”

“Yes sir.” I watched him walk out of the the door, wondering if he was ready to do what we need to.

“Captain, what are you planning?”

“I'll take my squad and infiltrate that hive. We'll get to the centre, start the bomb, and then high tail it out of there before it goes off.”

“That is a bad plan.”

“Yes it is, but that's why it's going to work. Good plans never work.” But something always goes wrong anyway.


It had been four days. Nova had finished making the bomb. Celestia was still sceptical that this was the right course of action. Morally, she was right, but it needed to be done. I waited in the castle armoury until the last pony arrived just outside. I ushered them all in and closed the door.

“Sir, why are we meeting down here?”

“Because I don't want others to hear this. This mission we are going on.....there is a very good chance we may not be coming back. I offer you this time now to back out. I'd rather carry that bomb in there myself than put you in any unnecessary danger.” I got up and walked to the door, opening it again. “If any of you want out, now is you chance.”

They looked between each other before Jet Streak stood and walked my way. I though it would be him. I wouldn't blame them all if they left. To my surprise, he stopped next to me, looking out of the door way, and then shut the door......still inside the armoury. “Sir, I think you should know by now that we won't let you do something like this alone. It is our duty to do this, and if we don't come back..... then it was an honour knowing you.” He brought himself to attention, and the other slowly stood and did the same.

“Thank you everypony. I'll do my best to make sure you all get back. We leave on the next full moon, that gives us four days. You have two days to make any arrangements you need to, whether with family, friends or business. On day three, I want to see you here at the castle.”

They all responded at the same time. “YES SIR!”


The first two days came and went quickly. I had spent the time making sure the bullet feeder systems were completely stocked up with all of the ammo and that my gear was serviceable. I had given Celestia my sniper rifle to display where ever she wanted to, saying that it wouldn't do much good inside the structure. I had the magicologists set up two 5.56 feeds and spread the ammo out evenly. I was going to be taking my pistol, the M4, and a L85. It sounds like a lot, but when you don't have to lug ammo, it's not that much.

I watched my squad arriving at lunch time on the third day, and I knew from the looks on their faces where they would rather be. By the evening they wouldn't mind. Not if my little surprise went well. They spent the afternoon training, Hammer bucking everything in sight, the pegasi practicing aerial combat, and the unicorns their offensive magic. They were as ready as they could ever be.


We were seated in the main hall, a long table had been put in there for a feast in our honour before we left. The squad were confused as to why they had to sit on the other side from Cannon Bolt, and why their had to be a gap between the stallions opposite her. They were all in their dress uniforms, which meant that instead of white and grey, I had a group of multi coloured ponies before me. Before I allowed them to take their seats, I had them line up by the door, the stallions on the right and Bolt on the left. Telling them to close their eyes, which they did unquestioningly, I opened the door and allowed the first guest in.

He was wearing his old dress uniform, and it made him even more imposing. He walked up to Bolt and pulled out a rose. I didn't tell him to do that. What a cheesy guy...stallion. He then spoke to her, in his country voice, and bowing low. “Evenin' Miss Bolt, would you care t' join me for dinner?” She opened her eyes, and seeing Mac before her, wrapped her fore hooves around his neck. “Ah guess that's a 'yes' then.”

The stallions had opened their eyes by now, but they weren't watching the display, as the Bearers had entered the hall, wearing the same stunning dresses from the unveiling of my window. I knew exactly what was going through their minds at the time. “Guys, if you don't stop starring, you're going to make the Ladies embarrassed.”

“Hey! Who you calling a lady?” Before I could respond, Starfyre stepped out from the line.

“I believe he was referring to you and your friends, Lady Dash. Would you do me the honour of dining with me tonight?” I had to work hard to keep a straight face at Rainbows expression, waiting for her to 'pass out' at any minute. However, she caught my look and smiled smugly at me.

“Sir Starfyre, I would like nothing more than to dine with you this fine evening. Please, lead the way.”

What? Who the fuck was that and where the fuck is Rainbow Dash?

One by one, they paired off and sat opposite their respective partners, my squad shooting me glances mixed with 'thank you for this' and 'you're a bastard, we'll get you for this'.


The meal went well, much better than I had expected. It appeared that all the ponies in the room really did love their partners. After the meal I had arranged for some entertainment, at which I head Dash groan as Octavia appeared on the stage, slowly being raised by a lift system as she struck a few chords with a slight beat to it. Dash's face lit up when she heard the first bits of bass sound out, and Vinyl Scratch appeared behind the opening curtains.

The stallions all approached the mares and offered their hooves, to which Dash was the first one to accept. Yep, that is a big 'fuck you' directed at me. Well played Dash. Whilst I was watching I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to see Luna next to me. “Will the Captain dance with his Princess?”

Normally, I'd say something like 'I don't dance, how about a drink instead?' or 'how about some horizontal dancing?', but it's not everyday that you are asked to dance with a princess. I don't care if she is a pony. FUCK YOU, she's a fucking princess!!! “It would be an honour, you majesty.” We took the dance floor as Octavia and Vinyl began the next song. Now, I'm not much of a dancer, but even I can get lost in the music sometimes. And something about that night felt right.

As the song ended and we finished the dance, I noticed that we were the only ones moving. I glanced up in time to see a camera flash in our direction. Bastards. They must have known. Otherwise how could they plan this? The only ones that knew were the Elements, Mac, the staff and the princesses. Oh, no......Trollestia has finally struck. Glancing in her direction, I saw she was still sitting down, but she had fucking creepy smile on her face and a hoof raised to her mouth. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked to Luna who raised her head up to mine. “Something wrong Captain?”

“Nothing at all your majesty.” What happened next, I think it is safe to say, no one or pony was expecting. Never kiss a horse. Hey, I was pissed. Told you me and my mates did stupid things whilst drinking. But this was different. It was like kissing a human, even though I know our faces were different shapes. It was also......nice.

Author's Note:

Things are happening now!!! What a find as well, the first song being called 'Elements'!!!

Also was it cruel for me to do that to Pokey?
Here, have some ponies in boxes to make up for it.