• Published 9th Feb 2013
  • 5,150 Views, 131 Comments

I'm Getting Underpaid For This - Warmaisach



We all know our beloved dragon, Spike. He is kind, helpful and never complains about unfair working conditions. What if all this were reversed? What if he is a cynical and sarcastic flank-hole? Let's watch him change this.

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Introduction Arc: 2 - The Elements Of Harmony

Oh would you look at that. An immortal evil goddess from the moon comes back and has the ingenious plan to make the night last forever. If I remember the lessons with Celestia correctly, immortals, such as herself, are only called immortal due to their immunity to age and disease. Apparently, they can still die through any other means.

So obviously this so called “Nightmare Moon” would also fall under the same category. Now comes the interesting question. Why does she want to make the night last eternal? Let’s recap the consequences of this, shall we?

To make one thing clear right on the beginning. They do not raise the sun and the moon but rather move the planet with their magical power. Celestia taught Twilight how she is able to do this. Apparently, she hooks herself to the celestial bodies and uses her magical ability to push herself, together with the planet, away, which forces the earth to rotate. Now, let’s go to the consequences that eternal night comes with.

First, not the entire planet is dampened in eternal night, just Equestria. The other half of the planet is lighted with endless sun. This means that our side of the planet would, due to the lack of temperature input, freeze over with temperatures of mythical depth while the other half would be burned to the ground. So the planet would be an ice-cube on one side and on the other one a heated desert.

Through the rise of temperature on the other side of the planet, the water would condensate and would only cool down, when the winds, that circulate around the world, would carry the overfilled clouds to our side. Meaning that our side of the planet would receive hail-storms and blizzards of unreal strength. Bet it looks funny if hail of the size of a chariot destroys a house.

Aside from that, the plants on the planet would dry up in the desert, and the plants here would freeze over and also die eventually. The animals would be overcome by the lack of food and would starve to death. Every plant and animal would die effectively, and only mountains, oceans, and barren land would remain.

The fish would also die, together with the plants in the ocean when the metabolism of the fish stops. So after some time, the entire planet would be transformed into a cube without any kind of organism. But hey, at least we appreciated her night. If she somehow manages to survive some billions of years, she may be able to boast with her lovely night while talking to some protozoa. I bet those will be extremely interested in a conversation with her.

So, I of course doubted the stallion that told me of the happenings on that faithful night. How could somepony be this stupid? Well back to the topic. I was still feeling funny, and with my mental enhanced state I could only grasp one thing. Nightmare Moon tried to screw over Twilight on an epic proportion. She would surely be my best friend.

As the ponies looked shocked at the disaster that was before them, I raised a cup, with that interesting drink in it, to the air. “To my best friend, Nightmare Moon!” I blurted out with an amount of spit that could rival my own body weight. I drank the whole drink down, and Twilight gasped beside me. Suddenly, my drink got thrown away by an unseen force, and Twilight looked shocked around the room.

“Who gave Spike ponythanol?” She practically screamed through the room, even though there were bigger problems currently present. You know, imminent death of the whole planet? Well as I said, Twilight had to hate my guts. The whole planet was going to die, and she ignores it in order to spoil my fun. Way to try to ruin my best night ever.

“No pony did, he must have drunk the drinks by himself.” Some black Pegasus with a stylish mane exclaimed. I heard later that his name was Thunderlane and that he was the stallion every mare dreamt about in Ponyville. I bet Twilight would dream about him too, if he were a book. Mayor Mare wasn’t paying attention to our important, potentially world saving discussion about my drinking habits and sent some guards at the immortal goddess that had the power to transform the planet into a piece of rock. There was no way that Nightmare Moon could win against the combined forces of three standard pegasus guards.

I had to help my best friend. Stumbling forward like a newborn foal, I took hold of a bottle of juice and threw it at one of the charging guards. Sadly, in my compelling state of mind, I missed them, and the bottle flew directly at Nightmare Moon. Apparently, my bottle distracted Nightmare Moon, and while she shot a lightning strike at the pegasi, one of them could evade and smashed into her side.

After seeing this, I fell to the ground and tried to scream a loud “NOOOOOO”, but the only thing that was heard was some sound that remembered one of a gigantic hornet. As it seemed, I have forgotten to open my mouth to scream. Nonetheless, I somehow managed it to scream myself into unconsciousness. I bet Pinkie couldn’t do that, due to her mane absorbing oxygen out of the atmosphere.

While I was unconscious, Nightmare Moon electrocuted the last guard, flew away, and left us to do whatever we wanted to do with our last days (I don’t think I can call it days since the night never vanishes and a new day never begins) of our lives. This all happened around ten hours ago, and the stallion that told me this also left around one hour earlier. Currently, we were in the tree-library, and we were waiting for Twilight to return.

With we, I mean Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, myself, and an ethereal angel which calls itself Rarity. Twilight read something about some Elements of Harmony and searched for a book about them. She wasn’t successful in finding it. It seemed to have vanished. It would certainly be funny if that book I burned would have been the book about the Elements of Harmony. If it was, I screwed Twilight double over. First with destroying her book, and second with forcing her to travel to the Canterlot-library in order to read in a copy of it.

It took her eight full hours to march from Ponyville to Canterlot and back. Eight hours, in which I enjoyed every single moment. Whenever I did something, even if it was sleeping, eating, or even reading, I always thought that Twilight had to walk in pure night to Canterlot. Finally, the justice of life was on my side.

Sadly, the eight hours passed pretty quickly. I had no idea how, seeing how I slept 7 ½ hours of those. Nonetheless, after eight hours she returned and looked at us while we were calmly talking inside her library. Panting, Twilight shouted into the room. “The last known location of the Elements of Harmony is the castle of the old pony sisters, in the Everfree Forest.”

The ponies in the room all looked at her with shock. Even I heard of the Everfree Forest. It was a forest with an unreal amount of dangerous and terrifying creatures and locations. No sane pony would go in there, and even less during the night. “Oh wow, the Everfree Forest. I always wanted to scratch a manticore behind its ears while falling to my happy demise in some crevice, all the while I am poisoned with potentially life-threatening amounts of funny looking mushrooms!” I blurted out with a happy voice.

Twilight immediately gave me a stern glance. “I have no time for that now. The fate of Equestria hangs on my hooves, and I don’t want you coming with me since you will only stand in my way.” She said, and suddenly she had an expression like she remembered something. “And I don’t want to bring you in unnecessary danger.” She added like she forgot to mention that her pencil had to be sharpened. Of course, bringing me in danger would mean that if something would happen to me, she had to write and send her letters to the currently hindered princess herself.

I would have felt anger, pain, and sadness of such a display of carefreeness about my health, but I learned the hard way to deal with these, over the last couple of years. I only had one goal now, even if the whole of Equestria had to pay for it. I needed to screw Twilight over even more. She thought that the one thing in her life that looked up on her, that liked and loved her when it was younger, wasn’t significant enough to deal with.

When I realized this in the earlier years, I was crushed. How could somepony do this to me? The only thing I wanted was to be loved by somepony. I wanted to have fun and lead a happy life with my “mother” Twilight. Now, whenever I think about her I just felt the urge to spit on a dirty road. Such a cruel being only deserves the worst things coming to her. I would not let this chance of screwing her over slip from my grasp!

“But Twilight, what if you need me to contact the Princess?” Twilight shook her head in annoyance.

“The Princess is missing, Spike.” She explained with an annoyed tone. I cursed silently under my breath that this didn’t work and had to make a new plan quickly.

“But Twilight, what if you need to send the Elements to the imprisoned princess? What if she needs them to overthrow Nightmare Moon?” I asked her with a sad tone. I genuinely was proud of myself. My tone sounded genuinely sad. Twilight seemed to ponder about this statement, but after multiple seconds, she still couldn’t come up with an answer, so I continued to lie my way into a spot on the journey.

“Twilight, I couldn’t forgive myself if you were to get hurt during this journey.” To make this more authentic, I looked down at the floor and clenched my claws. “I just couldn’t.” I sadly wasn’t able to squeeze out any tears, due to me not caring even a single bit about Twilight. The other ponies in the library exclaimed some “D’aaaws”. Slowly looking up, I saw that Twilight didn’t know what to say. Her facial expression changed to uncomfortableness, and finally she let out a sigh.

“Fine, you can accompany me.” She told me with a hint of defeat in her voice. Yes, my plan was finally bearing fruits. Even if this meant telling Twilight that I loved her. I still felt a sting to my pride even though it was a lie.

“I will come with you!” Rainbow Dash shouted while flying to us.

“Me too!” Applejack followed, and not many seconds later the rest of the ponies also told us that they wanted to accompany us. I looked at them with a happy smile.

“Wow, five tough mares with insane amounts of magical powers and year-long battle experiences. What do we owe your presence on our timid little unimportant journey to?” I asked them, and they gave me funny looks. Oh, they weren’t used to my way of speaking. This journey would be fun.

“We don’t have any battle experience. What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash told me with a raised eyebrow. I instantly lifted both my eyebrows and smiled overdramatically.

“You don’t say? Are you unquestionably certain?” I asked her, but she only raised her one eyebrow higher.

“Yes, I am certain. I mean yeah, I punched some stallions in the guts already, but I couldn’t count that as year-long battle experience.” She said somewhat sheepishly while rubbing the back of her head with her left hoof. I didn’t relent with my attitude and walked closer to her. I extended my claw and shook her hoof.

“Wow, what an honor to meet somepony with the amount of strength to beat up some stallions. I bet the immortal goddess, that occasionally destroys planets we are trying to stop, would have no chance against somepony that beat up some stallions.” I exclaimed with my typical sarcastic demeanor. Rainbow flew a little higher up and waved a dismissive hoof.

“Oh, no problem.” Then she punched the air around her. “I will show her my stuff!” Not long after this, she got pulled down by Applejack.

“Hey there sugarcube, don’t you start destroying the library.” She said. After she calmed Rainbow Dash down, she looked over to me, and her look was, honestly speaking, unsettling. She walked closer to me and looked me in the eyes.

“Ah know what game yer playin and ah won’t stand idly by when you have fun on the expense of one of mah friends. So hold yer tongue, got that?” She told me quietly but maniacally. No pony in the room, except me heard that. Oh, she was good. I held both my claws up, to show that I had nothing planned and that I was totally innocent. She only continued giving me the glare, but walked back over to her friends.

“Twilight dear, we will accompany you on this quest, and I won’t accept no for an answer.” The white angel-like being told Twilight with a heavenly voice. Twilight seemed to be uncomfortable, but then only groaned in exasperation.

“Oargh, fine.” She told them and levitated me on her back. When I was securely placed on the most comfortable place possible, since this places gives me an old and instinctual feeling of standing over her, she left the library and walked in some direction where I could see a forest at the end of the road. The other ponies followed us, and it didn’t take long until we arrived at the Everfree Forest.

“Who wasn’t? Who didn’t? Who hasn’t been in the sure death-trap called the Everfree Forest? Step up, and feel the poisonous plants caressing your hides, and the howls of evil phantom creatures in the night.” Fluttershy seemed to get scared by this, and quickly hid behind Rainbow Dash who only rolled her eyes at Fluttershy’s fears. Rarity didn’t react at all, just like Twilight. Pinkie seemed to laugh without end, but I bet that would have also happened if I only would have said phantoms. Applejack threw me a stern gaze.

“Well this is it. The Everfree Forest. Are you sure you want to come with me?” Twilight turned around and asked her companions who only nodded, except Fluttershy who was still covering behind Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie who apparently had trouble absorbing the unreal amounts of oxygen that were needed to create the steady amount of air that was needed to perform her laughing fit, through her mane. Wow, what a sentence.

“We are in this together Twilight, and nothing will stop us from coming with you!” Answered Rainbow Dash to Twilight, and for a short amount of time, it seemed like Twilight smiled. Wait, Twilight can smile while no book is in a radius of two meters around her? No, that’s not possible. The chances are higher that one of the ponies is a book in disguise than her smiling and laughing without a book.

Was Applejack the book? Was she able to discern my fine weaving of sarcasm through her experience as being literature? Another reason to be careful around her. If I would turn my back on her, she could bite me and turn me into one of the infamous Books of Gnark. The legend has it that peculiar kinds of books flatter through the moonlight at a new moon and bite all living beings in order to feed on their essence of literature. The legend was perfectly plausible, and no pony would doubt it.

The only possibility to discern a living being from a Book of Gnark was to perform the process called “Get At You” for short G.A.Y. To perform the GAY, it was needed to throw golden sparkle powder at the suspected book, and if the sparkle powder transforms into a clear sparkling shine, then the GAY was positive. Like I said, perfectly plausible and believable legend.

Nonetheless, we walked into the forest, and after several minutes of walking, the surroundings still looked as interesting as green grass on a green plane. Raising my claw, and showing it to the left, I talked to the ponies. “If all of you look to the left, you see the wonderful dark trees of the forest.” The ponies turned to their left, even though they knew that I was only joking.

“And if you would look to your right,” I continued, and they looked to their right. “You don’t see anything on the left side anymore.” The atmosphere was going out of its natural passive state of existence and decided to let me feel the collective eye roll that was taking place, even though I didn’t look at them. Fluttershy timidly walked up to the side of Twilight and looked at me.

“Excuse me, Spike? I-I have a question… if you don’t mind that is.” She told me, and I turned to her with a frown on my face.

“I hate questions. The last time somepony talked to me with something as normal and entirely natural like a question, I threw a book at the wall and started barking at him like a dog.” Pinkie couldn’t hold herself anymore and was laughing again, but Fluttershy’s reaction was different from what I thought. She seemed to shrink down and had tears in her eyes.

I wanted to have my fun, but Fluttershy never did anything to me. I thought she would understand it and laugh it up, but apparently she took it serious. Feeling a slight wave of guilt inside of me, I corrected myself. “Sorry Fluttershy, that was only a joke. No, I don’t mind you asking me a question.” She still didn’t look convinced but asked nonetheless.

“I only wanted to ask, why you speak so strangely. Ma-Many things you say are obviously wrong, and I don’t think that you don’t know these things.” She asked me silently, and with a tone that showed that she undeniably didn’t want to offend me. I rolled my eyes and answered.

“It’s whom I am.” She wasn’t sure what I meant, at least that is what I could get from looking at her right tilted head. Her confusion was apparent.

“Th-Then why are you like you are?” She asked as if this would be an easy question that everypony knew the answer to. I explained it to her in easy understandable terms.

“I am acting like I am, because if I wouldn’t be acting like I am then I wouldn’t be me as I am right now and that’s something that is extremely important to me. ” I explained to her, but she seemed to still be confused. But this time, it seemed to come from my explanation. I formulated it in the most complex terms possible, but it still was logical and held truth. After a time of confused gazes that were directed at me, she seemed to decide that she wouldn’t want to ask me anymore.

Suddenly, the floor of the path broke away and in the next moment we were sliding to our certain dooms. Pinkie and Rarity could be rescued, but Twilight and Applejack didn’t have much luck. Twilight was hanging on for her dear life, directly over the chasm. Applejack seemed to have grabbed some kind of stone and was able to hold herself. I also held out pretty well. Apparently, ramming my claws into the floor stopped my descent into death more effectively than expected.

Twilight seemed to slip, and I suddenly felt ill. I wanted to screw Twilight over, but I didn’t want her to die. She was still the only pony I could consider a family. Luckily, Applejack slid down to her and grabbed her before she fell, and held her. I was happy and let out a sigh when I saw this. Applejack looked around the sky suddenly and said something.

“If you want to survive, let go.” Did I mishear something right now? That was grade A logic right there. Putting one of my claws to my mouth to amplify my voice, I shouted down.

“Yes, listen to the pony you just met yesterday and who totally isn’t in danger herself.” I shouted down. Applejack turned to me with a glare.

“That’s not helping, Spike!” She shouted at me, and I lifted both my claws up to demonstrate that I intended nothing evil. Of course, I kicked my claws in my feet into the floor, before doing this. We don’t want to have a Spike as flat as a disc that could cut atoms in two. Well the plate would be destroyed due to the explosion if the radioactive material would be over the critical mass border, but that’s not relevant right now.

Twilight suddenly let go, and my heart dropped. But not for long. Apparently, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were under her and caught her. Oh, so that was the reason why Applejack told her to let go. She definitely was able to look around the corner and saw them being placed there. She was obviously not trying to save herself with this.

Well, after Twilight was saved, I decided to climb down the cliff with ramming my claws into the stone. Sounds hard I know, but dragon-claws can be darned sharp and hard. Seeing that I took pretty long, Rainbow Dash grabbed me and flew me down to the floor. “Thanks.” I uttered to her. Yes, I can be polite, who would have guessed?

Suddenly, we heard a roar from the opposite direction of the cliff. Looking over, we saw a furious manticore. Yeah, I led a happy life. Looking to the ponies, I saw that they got ready to fight against it. Ladies and gentlecolts, we just arrived at a whole new level of stupidity. Six mares, without any prior battle-experience, against a lion with five times the accumulated weight of all the ponies combined. On top of that, it had bat wings and a poisonous scorpion tail. Yes, we could win this easily.

Against all odds, the manticore still decided to fight us. It charged at the ponies while I was recounting every book I failed to burn, and attacked the ponies. Surprisingly, the ponies fought better than I thought and were holding their own against it. After a brief break, they charged at each other again, but they got interrupted by the manliest pony in existence, Fluttershy.

“She’s right! Let’s talk like civilized equines. I bet the brutal predator will listen to reason.” I shouted in, but before I could continue, a blonde tail wrapped around my mouth and I couldn’t say anymore. Apparently, Applejack didn’t like me talking and looked at me with a stern gaze. And again, I only shrugged.

While I inhaled hair of a tail that probably had insane amounts of parasites, Fluttershy walked up to the manticore and nuzzled it. To be honest, I hadn’t thought that the manticore would show its injured claw. The whole angry attack-the-ponies-because-they-are-at-fault-for-the-splinter-in-my-paw attitude was due to that single splinter. Seems legit.

When Fluttershy got it out, which was apparently impossible for the manticore to do itself due to the ridiculous small size of a whole fist, he roared at her but only licked her in affection. Totally legit. After the manticore was finished tasting its probably future dinner, Fluttershy left its side with the best manecut that existed, ever.

We continued along our way after this… interesting… turn of events and got to a muddy area after a short time. The ponies complained about mud until Fluttershy screamed. Apparently, she was afraid of trees. And she was not the only one. All the other ponies also seemed to have a diagnosed fear of being photosynthesized. Yes, that is a word. I fell to my knees and clawed myself at Twilight’s side.

“NOOOOO, please I don’t want to get attacked by their unmoving barks. And their leaves, they will rustle us to death. And I don’t even want to talk about their roots!” I literally screamed in her ear. She looked at me with a face that indicated that she didn’t know if I was serious or not. Suddenly, we heard laughing from our side.

Pinkie Pie was laughing. What sorcery was this? Pinkie never laughed! Before I was able to call her out on the fact that she had to be a trickster that found her way into our group, she did the most logical thing you could do in such a situation. She broke into a song, about laughing at ectoplasm.

This made perfect sense, especially the instruments that were playing in the background. I watched the whole ridiculous thing unfold with a raised eyebrow. Even the ponies got into the mood to laugh at the apparently overly funny things, called trees. Yes, trees. Whenever I was in a forest, I couldn’t hold myself anymore due to the sole hilarity of the brown barks in contrast to the green leaves.

When the ponies calmed down, we continued our way. We were barely able to survive the onslaught of the rustling leaves. Man, we sure were lucky, weren’t we? After a while, we came to a raging river. Yeah, it looked like a great idea to cross it. The meter high waves would never be able to ravage us away and slam us at some sharp stones. Suddenly, we heard whining from our left, and we saw a giant purple sea-serpent.

I wouldn’t believe it if I wouldn’t have seen it with my own eyes. He had a styled mane. Yes, the sole ridicule of a large reptile that apparently lives underwater having hair wasn’t enough. No, it also had to be styled. What happened to my life? Oh right, I got one. I didn’t have one before. Rarity walked up to him and asked him what happened. It seemed like he lost a part of his moustache. Yes, I bet there were a ton of creatures in the forest that would laugh at him with that half moustache.

He would get laughed on by timberwolves. The manticores would forbid their children to come close to him, and the hydras would only talk awkwardly with him while trying to end the conversation as fast as possible. Oh this poor sea serpent. I didn’t notice it until it was too late. Rarity had cut off her tail. Why? How could she cut off such a perfect tail?

With some magic, she levitated her tail into the hole in which the severed moustache came out, and fixed it. To be honest, I anticipated that the serpent would attack us just for the idea to make his appearance this asymmetric. I was mistaken. Apparently, he seemed to have some kind of disorder that made him blind to every bad aspect of asymmetry.

Seemingly happy, he let us pass the river, and we continued our journey. Not many minutes later, we came to a chasm with lots of mist. Twilight nearly fell down, but she was rescued. Well, poor Twilight wasn’t able to take a dive into paradise, what a shame. Nonetheless, we saw a severed bridge. Rainbow Dash decided to fly over, and did so. It took suspiciously long for her to come back. I suspect she is in cahoots with the books of Gnark. They indubitably were after my life. Damn you literature!

Never mind, after Rainbow came back, we got over the bridge and there we saw it. The old castle of the pony sisters. It looked old. Yes, I know that the word ruins kind of implies the word old, but this thing was so old that the first mountain of the planet would sue the pony, who would even dare to describe it with the same word, that implies oldness, as it has described the ruins.

The ponies were happy that we were finally there, and I was not happy. I couldn’t screw over Twilight. Not even a little bit. When we arrived in the hall, we saw a round statue with more round spheres of stone. Twilight saw that these probably were the Elements of Harmony, and levitated them down to us. Wow, she didn’t send me to climb there and get them down. How did I deserve that?

When she accumulated all the Elements, our company left her alone. “Wow, I hope you are able to harness the magic of these rocks.” I told her, but before I could continue I got pulled away by a blond tail. Apparently, Applejack tried to dragonnap me. I bet she planned to transform me into a book, but she hasn’t counted on the other ponies being around. Just when we left the room, we heard a loud noise and went back in there again.

Twilight vanished.

“Twilight!” Everypony screamed, and they all started running around in a frantic search. I only looked out of the window and thought who would have a disco-party in the middle of the forest. Seriously, if Nightmare Moon tried to ponynap Twilight, she did a horrible job in it. Not only did she ponynap her with a lot of noise, no, she also only transported her with her godlike powers 50 meters away, and hid her presence through light explosions, which were all shining into the night sky.

The ponies instantly ran to the building with the light, and I sprinted after them. Of course, I had no problem following some quadruples with my athletic build that could rival a baby penguin. Law didn’t allow me to describe my walking speed any less disastrous than with the word “sticky”. Yes, I was that slow that my speed could be described with a word that indicated something that stuck to a fixed place.

To say that I broke the sound barrier with my run of epic proportions would be an understatement. So I only arrived when Twilight started explaining to Nightmare Moon in a monologue, how those five ponies that followed us represented the spirits of harmony.

Applejack, who wanted to save her own life with a deception that brought Twilight into falling to her sure demise, represented the spirit of honesty.

Fluttershy, who was insane enough to try to have a conversation with a ravaging predator, represented the spirit of Kindness.

Pinkie Pie, who absorbed too much oxygen with her mane and started laughing uncontrollably at everything in existence, represented the spirit of laughter.

Rarity, who tried to anger a serpent with trying to disfigure its appearance, represented the spirit of generosity.

Rainbow Dash, who was too stupid to tie a good knot on a rope, represented the spirit of loyalty.

And lastly, the spark that combined every positive treat. The element of magic. Some kind of sixth ball came down from the ceiling and floated towards Twilight. Some destroyed pieces of the old balls flew around the other ponies, and suddenly a giant rainbow smashed into Nightmare Moon. NOOOO, not colorful light! Her sole weakness.

So let me get this straight. My year-long slave-master just ascended to the status of a legendary hero as the wielder of an element of harmony and defeated a threat that would have destroyed the planet. Huh, it must be Tuesday because life positively hates me. And there was no clearer way for life to show me that it hated me through giving my “owner” a legendary status. Screw you too, life!

When the rainbow ended, the ponies fell to the ground and looked at their new stylish necklaces. While they did this, the sun rose up to the sky. Huh, seemed like Celestia could finally do something. Wonder what hindered her in showing up hours ago.

“Indeed you do.” I heard and shortly after Princess Celestia showed up. How could her voice appear before she ported into the room? Did she first port herself behind a pillar and shouted it to get attention so when she teleported into the room, everypony would look at her and be awed? Modesty at its finest.

Well, everypony bowed deeply, including me. I didn’t have anything against the princess, and she was one of the ponies to which I could talk normally, so I didn’t have anything against bowing to her. Twilight, being the modest and finely mannered unicorn she is, shouted her name like we were on a farm and hugged her.

“Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student. I knew you could do it!” She said with a praising tone, and Twilight looked confused.

“But… you told me, it was just an old pony tale.” She told the princess. The Princess only smiled at her and answered.

“I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return, and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart.” Celestia explained and turned to walk at a foal who was at the old position of Nightmare Moon, but before she talked to her, Celestia gave me a wink with one of her eyes.

She didn’t know anything. She made up some lies and let it seem like she knew this all along. That was another reason why I loved the Princess. When she came to the foal, she continued speaking. “Now if only another will, as well. Princess Luna!” The little filly gasped and looked at Celestia. Incoming slaughter.

“It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister.” The ponies gasped as if they didn’t know that Luna was Celestias’s sister. I mean, everypony knew the tale of the Mare in the Moon. It was even said that it was Celestia’s sister. I didn’t quite understand why they were shocked about this.

“Will you accept my friendship?” Celestia asked Luna, and after some seconds Luna apologized and everypony forgave her for trying to turn the planet into a lifeless stone. As long as she promises to not do it again, at least on purpose, everything should be forgiven. I bet the electrocuted pegasi in the town hall would agree with that. Everypony makes mistakes and a thousand years old goddess was certainly not old enough to bear the consequences of said mistakes.

Everypony was happy, and we traveled back to Ponyville. When we arrived, Celestia ordered Twilight to continue studying “The Magic of Friendship” here in Ponyville. Before she flew away in the chariot, she threw at me another wink. She knew that I would have more free time, and when Twilight would finally stop studying that much, she maybe would find out that there are certain dragons who got treated wrongly. Oh, whom am I kidding? It’s more realistic that I would get transformed into a book of Gnark.

While we partied and were happy all together, there was one question still on my mind.

“How intoxicated had the maid, that cleaned the old ponycastle, to be, to somehow get the sixth element to the ceiling?”

Author's Note:

Shoutout to Trickquestion, who gave me the idea of Spike burning down the Elements Of Harmony book. I honestly didn't plan this.

Also, I don't have anything against gay people. Don't take the joke with the "G.A.Y" seriously.

Also, I'm still searching for a proof-reader.