Rarity had such high expectations for her night at the Gala, it was the event that had kept her going for so long.....and yet it ended in disappointment.
Little did her friends know that she had been suffering from a deep depression brought on by the fact that nopony was as perfect as her.
Also, since someone asked me to source the image: http://theshadowbrony.deviantart.com/art/Depression-259146797
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Your ending was satisfying and the story was good. I am not sure how you were to add on to this honestly, I would like to see that.
Urgh.....
All in all, few things off here and there, and at least its a different kind of dark I've seen in other fics. I can't imagine what another chapter could be, unless Rarity starts to infect others with her depression.
1988049
Well, I have an idea on how to continue it, this is my first completely sad story, so its a bit of an experiment for me
1988088 I would say that if you do continue it, I would suggest that you make it "flow" a little better. Some things were off like 1988056 said and some things seemed a little stiff with writing.
1988131
Can do, comrade
Thanks for the input
Sorry, but all the incorrect spelling and typos makes it difficult for me to even read this. Proofread your work before you post it.
1988606
As far as I'm aware. the only "typo's" I made were in characters speech, which I tend to do in my stories in order to express dialect. Unless your referring to my possible misuse of the term "laying", which I simply say because it sounds better to me.
1988753
You also misspelled "Sweetie Belle" Shen her name first appeared. You have capitalition and punctuation errors as well.
1988777
Ah, my apologies. For the longest time, I could never spell Zecora's name correctly either.
Didn't know there was a silent E in "Sweety Belle"
Thanks for pointing that out to me
Aside from the fact Rarity just comes off as a stuck up bitch in this. You ruined what could have been a nice ending by saying she settled for Spike and was still constantly depressed. This very mush so comes off as your own personal issue being reflected into the story. Every other character but, "Rarity," actually feels right. And I quote Rarity because this is nothing like her.
Wow Rarity I sure do know those feels.I hate it when no one is as good as me
.The dialogue seemed a little awkward even if Rarity was in a terrible depression. I don't mind misspelling as long as the story works but this was a push to far. Maybe if there were chapters explaining what led her to this than it would work out. But this just seems like a big drop off from the norm.
1988849 Deducting points from your avatar simply because Square Enix needs to work on its character names. But yes, this is NOT the Rarity I know and love.
1988895
Hmm, I was under the impression that everyone thought of Rarity as an extreme narcissist, since it was the general consensus amongst the fellow pony fans I knew.
But I do like your Idea, that could perhaps be how I continue my story, by doing one of those "start at the ending" kind of stories.
I laughed.
Everything about this story is so ridiculous.
1988902 I'd be willing to give you that, but you have to admit the stories they come up with are usually amazing.
1990392 FF9 was best.
1990879 I disagree, but I respect your opinion and choice in games.
1990879
Im siding with him
Loved the Characters in FF9
1989938
Reading it over, I do see how it can be oddly humorous because of how stuck-up I made her
1991176 DAMN RIGHT! they were awesome.
1991236
You are all so close, yet so far away, because Squall from FF8 was best FF character.
You may want to list this under "Alternate universe" Too, because this is not Rarity as depicted in.. any work I've read or seen. Might help a bit get some more constructive criticism.
Well, try a sad event next time.
Thanks for the input man, drama is a new genre to me, so I know im not the best
Well, that was disturbing. And not Rarity at all.
Well it sure was dark but in a more emotional way I like it.
Dis bitch...
5435965
I'm sorry
In my mind, Rarity is an arrogant, snobby, and prideful pony, so when I write stories revolving around her, this is the personality I give her
Shoulda let her fall.....
Rarity is so narcissistic in this, and just feels out of character, almost sociopathic even.