TPB- Where Are We Boys?

by KenZig

"Whoa, what's going on!?"

The sun rose from its break of looking down upon Sunnyvale trailer park, it greeted a man sleeping in a car and a shed that belonged to a trailer. The shed's door was open and revealed an individual wearing huge glasses that magnified his eyes; he poured food into a dog bowl. "Eat up. You kitties must be starving!" He said in discomfort. A small group of cats and kittens slowly surrounded the dog bowl. The man called out to a male cat who had ran off to the broken down car. "Captain Cuddles, you know you're not supposed to go in Ricky's car." He said.

Captain Cuddles the cat jumped into the car and landed on a man sleeping inside it. He grunted to wakedness immediately with a half smoked cigarette butt in his hand that some how didn't fall between his fingers during the night. "Bubbles, what the fuck did I say about your cats coming into my car?"

"I know, Ricky, they always pee in your dope plants." replied Bubbles. "Maybe you should roll the windows up."

Ricky sighed, grabbing Captain Cuddles and softly tossed said cat from the car as he opened the door. He slouched on the car's seat and took out a lighter from his pocket to light up the half smoked butt. Ricky attempted to stand up, but hit his head. "Jesus Murphy..." He muttered, now slightly aggravated. He stood up after a few seconds of rubbing his head. "Bubbles, did Julian get back yet?" He asked Bubbles, who had walked out of the shed with a cut-bottom half of a soda bottle and a coffee cup. "No, he's still in Halifax, but phoned earlier and told me that he was coming back." Replied Bubbles.
He handed the makeshift cup to Ricky, who happily took it. "Fucking finally, he said he'd get me some smokes, I'm on my last one." said Ricky, he took a drink of the cold coffee and noticed that Captain Cuddles was purring next to his leg. This cat is fucking annoying, but he is cute as fuck Ricky thought to himself as he pat Captain Cuddles' head.

"What are we giving out for Halloween?" Asked Bubbles. "Instead of joints, we should hand out candy." he said.

"Yeah, going to jail for a few weeks for that sucked. What's wrong with kids smoking dope?" Ricky replied, he took a final drag of his cigarette butt and flicked it towards a spider web. It landed a bullseye and the spider on it's web attacked the butt, only to die right away.

Ricky and Bubbles looked on to a red sports car that was blaring rap music and heading towards them. "Julian, why are you playing J-Roc's whack track?" Said Bubbles, knowing that getting into an argument with Ricky about kid's smoking dope would be a waste of his time.

"Boys, get in the trailer I got something from Halifax!" Proudly announced Julian.

"Real nice, Julian. Spending our money on useless stuff again." Said Ricky.

"Rick, I didn't even show you what I have yet. Bubbles, get my glass of rum and coke from the car, please?"

Julian, with both hands obviously full, handed the box over to Ricky who nearly dropped it, not expecting its weight to be pretty heavy. "What the hell do you have in here? 'The Patrick Swayze DVD Collection'?" Joked Ricky as he elevated the box to his belly height. Julian glared at him and told him to fuck off.

"No, I got something in there that's even better." Flatly replied Julian. "Oh, so you admit it then?" Teased Ricky, this time almost getting a slap from Julian.

Julian unlocked the door to his trailer and opened it, he and the boys went inside. "Okay, Ricky gimme the box, also can you go and get some of your dope?" Julian asked Ricky, who gave the box back to him.

"I only have four grams left, and why do you want them? You know what the normal fee is." replied Ricky, he snatched Julian's glass from Bubbles and stole a few sips. "Just go and get them, I'll show you in a few seconds." said Julian, grabbing his glass from Ricky.
Ricky walked to the Shitmobile and reached inside the glove compartment after opening it from the passenger's side. He saw a cat inside the car after he took out exactly four grams of his fine dope. "You better not piss anywhere in here. This is where I sleep." Ricky said to Captain Cuddles as the cat lay on the backseat.

Bubbles and Julian sat on a sofa that was stained with cat piss, they weren't bothered with it since the stain was from weeks ago. "Okay, Bubs take a look at this." said Julian, he opened the box by pulling the flaps out and grabbed a long glass device with electrical appendages. Bubbles looked at the device in awe, "Julian, what type of bong is that!?" he said in amazement.

Ricky sat across from Julian and Bubbles. "What the fuck is that?" he asked in curiosity.

"I was just about to explain to Bubbles from where I got this." replied Julian in a matter of fact of tone. "Any ways," he continued, "The reason I went to Halifax, was to get this really advanced bong I bought-" Julian was cut off short by Ricky when he held the bong up in the air.

"How much did that cost?"

"Around 3,000 bucks, man, can you keep quite for awhile?" Said Julian, tossing his wallet on the coffee table.

"As I was saying, I went to Halifax to pick this up from the docks there, Mr. Xian was waiting for me. He told me that this was the only one of it's kind, and sold it to me at a discount for giving him some of our dope-" once again he was cut off by Ricky. "Jesus Christ, Julian!" he shouted, pulling a picture from Julian's wallet. Showing it to Bubbles.
Bubbles let out a laugh. "Julian, why the hell do you have a picture of Randy in a bee costume?" said Bubbles.
Julian went red faced and let out a sigh. "Look Boys, that doesn't matter." he embarrassingly responded. "This bong has a lot of buttons on it with different things that they do. This one right here is an automatic puffer, that releases smoke for you to inhale without putting your mouth on the tube." explained Julian, pointing a finger at the button.

"De-he-hecent!" Bubbles said in astonishment.

Ricky happily stared at the futuristic bong and tossed a gram to Julian. "What the hell are we waitng for? Let's get fucking high Boys!" exclaimed Ricky. Julian grabbed the gram of weed from his lap and placed it in the bong. "Where's your lighter then, Rick?" Julian asked, making the motion of flicking a lighter with his hand. Ricky grabbed a lighter from his pocket and threw it towards Julian, who grabbed it with ease and began to flick the lighter and lit the gram of weed with mastery. He huffed the smoke and held in his breath for a few seconds and puffed out the smoke with a cough. Julian handed the bong to Ricky, who grabbed it and re-lit the bong with another lighter he pulled from his pants, the same thing happened to him and he let out a whoop then handed it to Bubbles, who did the same, but went into a coughing fit, causing him, Ricky, and Julian to chuckle.

Julian took a sip from his glass and cleared his throat. "Boys... I have an idea to get this thing copied, so when we have about twenty copies, we can sell them at a higher price than when I bought it for." he said.

"Won't that make Mr. Xian send his guys after you?" Bubbles interrupted.

"No, I'll get J-Roc to have Tyrone get his friend to make copies of it, so if Mr. Xian finds out, they go after them." explained Julian, getting a look from Bubbles. "...And put the blame on Sam?" asked Bubbles.

"That fucking Caveman." said Ricky before he put another gram of weed into the bong and took a hit.

Bubbles and Julian went back to talking.

Until, Ricky pressed a button on accident, that is...

"Whoa, what the fuck is going on?" cautiously said Julian, as he looked around him, Bubbles, and Ricky as they start to get surrounded by sparks and lightning, Bubbles began to nervously fidget about. Ricky was still holding the bong and taking a hit. "We're getting high as fuck!" he exclaimed loudly. The Boys hear a loud crack of white noise and dissipate from existence, prompting them all to yell in chorus "WHAT IN THE FUCK!!?"

---

Princess Celestia was perched on her day throne in the royal court, waiting for a client to enter. She blinked at the loud crack of thunder and witnessed a bipedal creature falling to the floor with a bone crushing thud and the breaking of glass that spilled an unknown liquid. The guards and servants all gasp in shock as the creature's body starts to slowly seep blood out of his mouth.

The guards rush the body for any form of danger, causing Princess Celestia to order them to stop. And so they did.

"This creature is obviously hurt, I want it to be taken to the royal hospital discreetly and quickly!" she shouted to the guards. They followed her command with efficiency and grab a cloth from a table nearby, making its flower vase to fall but only to be saved by a servant.

Princess Luna flew into the disaster scene through the window. "Sister! We heard a noise and came ov-" she gasped at the sight of blood and a large figure covered in cloth. "What is happening here!?" Princess Luna asked in surprise.

"Little sister, please help the guards move the body to the royal hospital!" Princess Celestia quickly told Luna, who immediately followed her lead as she levitated the bipedal creature's body with her magic.
The royal sisters had exited the Court with a few guards and trotted away.

Ricky and Bubbles had landed at the park of Ponyville with the same fate as Julian, but with a softer landing, thanks to the grass.

"Eek!" a female voice screamed in fear as The Boys land in front of her and five others, as did they.

"Girls! Calm down!" one of them yelled in an official voice, prompting the girls to do so. "These animals look seriously hurt, Apple Jack and Rarity I want you to cover them up in the picnic quilt and take them to the hospital. Now!" she ordered Rarity and Apple Jack, who followed the hasty order immediately.

"Fluttershy, can you tell me what type of animals these are?" she asked the Pegasus who was hiding behind her hair.

"No!" she squeaked and hid inside a bush.

Author's Note:

If you haven't watched the show I recommend that you should watch a few episodes to know The Boys proper!

Comments

[Regidar]

Can you even do this?
Is this even allowed?
My brain hurts, I'mma go die in a corner now.

upvote and fave 5ever.

[Samsqamch]

Well done! Before reading this I was wondering, "How the hell is he going to get them to Equestria?" But you pulled it off in a way that could only apply to TPB.
Your writing is pretty good, but you switch from past to present tense at times. My only other problem with this is where you cut it off right when they arrive in Equestria before they get to do anything there. I see that with a lot of fics, and it's usually a bit discouraging for me. But, this is TPB, and I don't see enough of it here, so I'll watch this.

[Mr Pones]

gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs7/2900352_o.gif

Glorious