A nervous young stallion decides to take a shot at the new ruler of Equestia... and she accepts
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fan fiction excellence <You are a champion my friend!
Yay, a suprise.
Cant wait for MOAR!!!!
Sweet baby Luna, you work fast.
Oh, my, my, my. This story is so adorable and heartwarming.
This is all jolly good work. Keep it up
surprise is the moooon~
Yes! A fiction first! Nightmare Moon without hat and anger inside and ready to do what is right. Because she's in looooove
I HAVE BEEN CURE! sadly I'm ill again and this time its getting... *cough* deadly worse... *BEEP* *BEEP*
154994 let me give ya something
I got a blue potion, an elixir, some fishkeebap and mints.
Take whichever you want
so many chapters so fast. this fanfic is good and crazy speed...
I LOVE how Nightmare Moon just beat her demon into submission, THEN threw it out. All because of love.
This is without a doubt the best Nightmare Moon/ Luna fan fiction I have ever read! And two to three chapters a day is the PERFECT pace!~
Okay, so it's serious decision time now. This story is just about over. Maybe there's another two sections left (maybe like three) before it ends.
I'm torn. I see four clear ending possilbilities.
a)Disney, PG-rated ending. They kiss and have a little fun together. Some other stuff happens. It feels rather... unsatisfying.
b)Moon decides to, uh, consummate her newfound love. This would lead to a lot of reader's grief. It's also a bit contrary to the spirit of the show. On the other hand, it does feel so natural and so right that after page after page of getting emotionally closer that their would love... uh, blossom. This would be devilishly difficult to write, though. (But it feeeeeeels so riiiiiiiiiiiight )
c)Sad ending. Everything falls apart. Strawberry fails and ends up somewhere... eh... unpleasant.
d)Random ending. Derpy saves the day. Doctor Hooves comes in. And wow, are those robots? ROBOTS? etc.
What do you guys think?
Sheesh, you're popping' these things out pretty fast, huh?
Not that I'm complaining or anything...
Disney ending with the bit of consumate and complications. Mix it up with the good stuff my friend
155089 I.... don't know if I would like either C or A. (though if I had a choice between the two, definately A) The other two are kind of even with me. Why don't you write one as the 'canon' ending and write the others out as alternate endings? Please everypony Course, it's ultimately your decision
155089
I vote for the B,
^^^^DITTO WITH THIS DUDE.
Quite frankly, write a canon A ending, and as alternate/bonus chapters write b to d. Everybodys happy.
twist is worst pony.
agreed with the 2 above me
She's transformed into something else
Actually, any kind of ending is good, as long as you pour your heart into it (metaphorically speaking ofc )
155176
Really? This man disagrees.
images.fandango.com/r86.7/ImageRenderer/200/295/images/performer_no_image_large.jpg/0/images/masterrepository/performer%20images/p231814/mnightshyamalan-ladyinthewater-1.jpg
TwistXM. Night Shamallamadingdong OTP.
You my friend, should get a grammatical editor, but other than that, this is a really amazing story so far. And I'm in with the guys who say to write all the endings... if that's o.k. with you of course...
I hope you go back and fix the misused words and stuff later on. I know you mentioned you were rushing these out one after the other, so I assume you aren't really proofreading them. Also, I feel this story has kinda taken a turn for the cliche, particularly with the guitar and singing RL songs. Don't get me wrong; it's a cute fic. I just have a problem with how rushed it seems. Then again, as one of those Equestria Daily hardasses, I'm a lot harder to impress, and you could very well ignore my slight displeasure.
As for the choice of ending, I would go with A for the sake of consistent storytelling, but I have a hard time believing NMM would do a complete 180 and have a happily ever after sort of thing. I would probably mention that despite completing herself and casting aside her hatred, ponies will continue to fear and resent her, and she HAS to find some way to compensate for the lack of daylight. In the alternate Equestria fic Night's Favored Child (I think it's called), Moon allows Equestria to survive by drastically brightening the moon so that it's as light as normal daytime without erasing her stars. (I wouldn't be against you writing a more "clopworthy" alternate ending, mind you).
On a more personal note, I had to smile at Nightmare's choice of dress for her date. She was beautiful in a terrible way already (terrible beauty is my favorite), but you one-upped it to make her an elegant warrior queen, clad in armor AND finery. Of this I approve.
MOAR NOW! Please? Before I have to go to sleep?
155210
sadpanda.us/images/821834-7RIWSSP.jpg
P.S. Well, I need to get ready to sleep. See you all tomorrow.
155089 i vote for b cause as u said it feels soooooo right
B. Plain and simple. If not, then A, then C, or D. Note, this favorite to least favorite.
155089 i chose a
155089
A.
154994 KILL IT WITH WHISKEY!!!
Im just joking, try getting in more fruits and zinc. Im currently going through Emergen-C at an alarming rate for my current illness. Stupid classmates getting me sick in just one week of exposure to them.
155089 I vote for plan B, NMM needs some luvin.
Bow Chicka Wow wow!
It would be kind of funny if NMM became Luna after some luvin, love winning where friendship failed.
A as cannon ,then B with elements of D as a alternate ending
B+D just so at the end you can use some silly music and they all dance the robot dance
idea
take the to the battlefield
thay have a discussion about what she should do
they decide towake up eliments
the act turns her back to luna
celestia returns with the sun
strawberry and luna live to gether in happiness
but
stretch it out alittle and make it intersting
155089
Hmmm... The part of me that loves this fanfic wants either A or B...
...but being a huge geek I don't think ANYTHING could be cooler than robots
As for ending C... I kind of suck at dealing with sad endings, so I hope it's not C
This is a really good story. Its hard for me to understand how Nightmare Moon's mind changes at times, but I guess that might be because I'm not a very deep person.
I vote B
I would have to vote for B. Because I'm just that way.
We vote for B, it seems the best choice. (But plllleeeeeeaaasssseee do an alternate ending with D!)
155089
I'd recommend B. Nothing too graphic, but I think that would be the best!
Okay, so I went through every section and fixed some of the little errors and things that kept bothering me.
I think I'll do multiple endings, starting with the one in which she gives him 'the full nightmare'. Or maybe I'll start with the troll / random / comedy ending.
Anyways: Thanks for reading once again! And please comment! I'll really try to have some stuff done by tonight.
For some reason, I hear Strawberry's voice as Yuri Lowenthal. If you don't know who that is, then listen to...hmm, I'd say either Ben Tennyson from Ben 10, Yosuke from Persona 4, or Simon from Gurren Lagann(english dubs for the last two). Those are the best examples of his voice acting I can think of.
156453
Great, now I'm gonna read all Strawberry's lines in any future chapters with Yuri's voice
great
Strawberry Dawn, in my mind, sounds like some variation of:
Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits
PLUS
Gary Lewis of Gary Lewis and the Playboys
In other words...
i'm off now, no doubt the 4 unreads will bump up to 7 when i get back... you're writing these faster than i can read them
I honestly thought strawberry had move resolve than to let Moon sweep him off his hooves right after he saw the battlefield...
I love this. it's amazing. Could be an instant classic, but...
It's going too fast.
At this point it has been, what, six hours since they met? And he's already asking her to change domestic policy? And she's already getting so emotional? Why? It's been one date! Couldn't they have had multiple, and couldn't Moon's intentions have only changed gradually?
Too fast, man. Too fast.