A nervous young stallion decides to take a shot at the new ruler of Equestia... and she accepts
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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love it so far
Acoustics?
I am curious...
This just keeps getting better. The pacing has been great so far, no rushing at all which is normally the problem with fics like this. I find it interesting that there seems to be more internal dialog then there is actual dialog, but I guess that would make sense considering neither of them seem to know what to say half the time.
Ooooh myyy....this is getting interesting. Moon's letting her guard down? Strawberry's getting comfortable? People are seeing Nightmare in a different light?(sorry bout that) This is good...very good....
150910 They're going to play with bubble wrap.
Duh.
Yesssss.... mooooore....
Yes!!Yes!!The plot continues, we are gonna see NM lovestruck! This is soooo goooood. He wouldn't left her right?
I am very interested in this, and in what will happen later, if the two will become a couple. Consort?Will NM chance a little?
Thanks for the multiple updates in one day bro I just love reading this fantastically excellent fan fic
holy updates pace yourself man
but also this is a great story
This is really good, Strawberry might end up with an alicorn girlfriend.
im loving this, but im curious...doe these events take place after nightmare returned but the elements of harmony had failed? or is this farther down the line after the events of the first 2 episodes?
Hmmm... Okay when NM tried the apple fritter? you used the word had twice.
"Moon nibbled at the apple fritter, and then she tried the hay fries. She couldn't place the tastes, but she knew she had had them before."
One 'had' will suffice. Otherwise, whoa! So many updates in such a short time! Looking foward to reading the next chapters soon!!!
Okay, so I corrected some of the litte errors that had bugged me.
152232 Thank you!
152232 Actually, that is grammatically correct and one "had" would not have sufficed. The first "had" is a helping verb, while the second "had" is the past tense of "to have."
I'm trying to avoid harping on writing style and focus more on princess characteristics, but I thought I'd just point out really quick that I see a lot of ellipses used in your paragraphs. I know they make things seem more dramatic, but they kind of lose their effect if you use them three or more times in one sentence. Just thought I'd put that out there.
I'm really enjoying the chapters told from Nightmare's POV. It's more fun to get into her psyche as she's struggling to decide whether or not she wants to be callous or joyful with Strawberry.
One thing that threw me for a curveball was when she mentioned that she had attempted cooking as a filly. That was her as Luna, right? It's too bad we didn't have her sister Celestia walk in on her and comment on the mess she made, or what she had put together to eat.
Still liking it!
As a quick note, Midnight Oil is one of my favorite old bands. Great band from OZ.
1532425
Oh, yeah! I love to throw in music references, and that one was fun... hope you like the rest of the fic!