Sombra's Revenge

by 11koren

The Mountains

Eventually Twilight and the other five saw a mountain. "Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, can you fly up and see which way is closer? The mountains or the plains?"

"Will do!" Rainbow said loud and proud.

"Um, I don't know if I should EEK-" Rainbow Dash picked Fluttershy up in the middle of her sentence and they flew up.

"I think the mountains are shorter," The rainbow Pegasus shouted, "If we don't run into anything dangerous then we'll probably be a little faster."

"Um, I don't know about y'all, but I think we take the long way." Apple Jack said obviously thinking more about the dangers.

"Sorry Apple Jack, but we need to take the shorter way. No matter what the dangers are!" Twilight said nervously, "You heard what the princess said, the sooner we get there, the better.", so the ponies began to venture up the mountain.

Pinkie and Rarity looked over at each other. "Did we make the wrong decision of listening to Twilight?" Pinkie asked not sounding like her normal self.

Rarity looked around looking scared and whispered to Pinkie "I think so. I feel like I'm being watched, and THERE'S SO MUCH DIRT!" All of a sudden a burst of fire came out of a cave. Rarity screamed and a phoenix flew out of a cave. The ponies turned around.

Fluttershy tried to run, but Dash caught her. "Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash whispered, "that's an animal. You can handle it." Fluttershy didn't answer, but Dash knew she understood by the angry but understanding look on her face.

Fluttershy walked up to the phoenix, who was blasting fire at a magic shield, it stopped the flames. The large phoenix bent down to look into her eyes, but it didn't notice the look that Fluttershy was giving. She was giving the stare.

While it was distracted by her eyes Twilight told Pinkie, Dash, Apple Jack, and Rarity a plan. Rainbow Dash flew over and kicked the side of the fiery bird's head. When it turned it's head Rainbow Dash ducked and Pinkie fired her party cannon at the beast's eyes. While it was distracted she was tied with Apple Jack's lasso, after Rainbow started pushing the phoenix back into the cave with help from the two unicorns. After Dash left the cave the unicorns transferred their magic to the biggest boulder they could see, and they blocked the entrance.

"Huh, Huh, I think we should rest for tomorrow." Rainbow Dash said panting.

Twilight looked and said, "Yeah, that would be smart. Besides it's getting dark." The ponies set up camp and got ready for bed. They were all thinking that they still had a long ways, so this would be pretty much nothing.

Comments

[Tachyon Xenophile]

1850558
#1 Discord isn't evil. He's sadistic and a prankster, but not evil.
#2 King Sombra is WAY less powerful than Discord, and I think all of the others save Trixie are stronger than KS.
#3 KS wouldn't wipe out his slaves. He wants to rule, not annihilate.
#4 Trixie wouldn't want the Alicorn Amulet.
#5 Changelings aren't evil. They need to eat.
#6 QC would kick KS's flank for killing a changeling.

All in all, you wrote them too evilly.

[11koren]

1853231 they were supposed to be strangely evil...whatever, it's a fan fic

[Tachyon Xenophile]

1853548 Don't want to hurt your feelings, but I recommend adding Dark and Alternate Universe tags.

[11koren]

1854005 why would you offend me?

[Tachyon Xenophile]

1854619 I wasn't trying to. I'm very sorry.

[11koren]

1856508 you didnt

[Slate the Pegasus]

I. Like it a lot can wait till the next chapter

[11koren]

1901246 thanks. sorry I've been procrastinating a bit

[Slate the Pegasus]

Okie dokie lokie

[11koren]

1854005 why alternate universe

[Tachyon Xenophile]

2015656 Due to contradiction of Keep Calm and Flutter On, and their evilness.

[11koren]

2028323 sorry...ill try to kix that...it's still me 1st fan fic so i havent gotten the hang of it yet

[Shadowflameking]

oi its been years, continue, cancel, or rewrite, PICK ONE