The last few days in Equestria had been nothing short of extraordinary. First, it was the Summer Sun Celebration which involved a lot of work and preparation beforehand and a lot of partying and recovery afterwards. This year’s was the thousandth of such an event, very special indeed. The honour of hosting such a momentous occasion had fallen upon the cosy, little town of Ponyville which had been abuzz with anticipatory activity for the past couple of weeks.
But then, disaster struck. Nightmare Moon, thought to have been merely an old mare’s tale, had returned. The princess had mysteriously disappeared. And the night was to, apparently, last forever. It very well might have, if something miraculous had not happened. Six rather ordinary mares (well, five; one was the protégé of the sun goddess, after all) had turned out to be the new Elements of Harmony. Nightmare Moon was defeated, washed away in a kaleidoscopic burst of ancient magic. Princess Celestia returned, the dawn rising with her. And best of all, the defeat of the villainous Nightmare Moon brought the return of Princess Luna, the moon goddess, who was accepted into her sister’s arms with much love. Cue the fanfare and celebrations all across the kingdom.
None of this was known to two certain individuals, however. One was pulling a cart holding all her worldly possessions along a dusty road, heading for the Equestrian border. The other was a little ways up that very same road, behind some bushes, trying to eat some hopefully non-poisonous moss he’d found on a rock.
The individual pulling the cart was named Zecora. She was a zebra: black and white stripes, a tail and mohawk to match, and a tribal symbol of the sun on each flank. She wore golden bands on her neck and on one of her front hooves, large gold rings on her ears, and a large brown travelling cloak with hood.
She was travelling to her new home. Zecora felt that a change of scenery from her native land would be welcome and had decided that Equestria sounded like a nice-enough place to start again. So with some packing and tearful farewells (and perhaps not enough thought on things like currency exchange rates, house prices, or possible discrimination), she’d started her journey.
As said journey seemed to be nearing an end, the grasslands ahead rapidly gave way in lieu of woodlands. The Everfree Forest, if her map was correct. There was also a giant billboard by the side of the road with a smiling pony couple and the words “Welcome to Ponyville! Enjoy your stay!” painted on it.
“I very much plan to!” Zecora thought to herself happily. She decided that this seemed the perfect moment to take a break. The road behind her had been long and tiring, and the billboard offered some welcoming shade. She parked her cart, pulled out a small packed lunch and water gourd, and pushed back her hood. She settled down on the cool grass with a satisfied sigh.
Her peace was to be short-lived, however. She’d hardly even made a dent in her food when something made her ears prick up. It was a distant sound just on the edge of hearing, a faint susurration that came some distance behind the giant sign. She crept back to her cart, pulled out a long bamboo rod, and pointed it in the direction of the billboard.
“Hello?” she called out in Equestrian, her newly-learned language sounding musical on her tongue. Feeling emboldened with the hefty staff in her hooves, she added, “Is somepony there? If you’ve come to cause trouble, you’d best beware!”
There was no response. Faced with this mystery and her newfound bravery, she pulled her hood up and cautiously pressed her back against the billboard. She strained to hear what the sound was. It was somepony—or something—muttering to itself. Or maybe it was having a conversation with something. Zecora couldn’t hear any other voices, but what she was listening wouldn’t make sense if the mysterious voice was alone.
“Look, I am sorry about this,” the voice was saying, “really, I am. But I haven’t had anything decent to eat in, well, I can’t remember. Circle of life and all that. You understand, don’t you?” The voice paused for a moment, before continuing with conviction. “No, don’t give me that look. It’s your own fault; you should have been faster.”
Zecora had heard about enough. Steeling herself, she turned the corner to the back of the billboard, jumped through the bushes found there, and brandished her stick. “And just what is going on—” what she saw behind those bushes caught the phrase in her throat.
It reminded her of a monkey, almost like one of the chimps from her homeland (which were fond of playing practical jokes whenever they weren’t busy stealing fruit or throwing their own faecal matter). Except this one was much bigger at, what she guessed was, around twice her height. It wasn’t easy to tell though; it was squatting and hunched away from her rather than standing upright. It was practically bald; of the few noticeable amounts of hair it had, the most was on its head, followed by a much sparser amount on its limbs.
At Zecora’s sudden entrance, the creature spun around. It looked less like a chimp in the face with a less pronounced jaw, brow, and forehead, but a more pronounced nose. Its eyes were also a bit larger and more expressive, with white sclera rather than black. Also unlike the chimps from the zebra’s homeland, this one was exceedingly gaunt in the face. It was clear it hadn’t eaten in quite some time.
Whatever this creature was, it had a mouse’s tail hanging out of its mouth and a look of surprise on its face. Its surprise quickly turned to fear: fear of the strange hooded figure with a weapon that had jumped out of a bush. It opened its mouth wide and yelped. (The mouse inside leapt out and ran away with a squeak of joyous relief.) Zecora screamed in response and the creature shouted again. This repeated a few more times until, acting on instinct rather than rationale, Zecora hit it in the face with her stick.
Okay, so, this is my first MLP fanfiction. A bit of an overdone genre I know (and no doubt my writing leaves much to be desired) but I thought I'd give it a go. Zecora hasn't really been a large part in many HiE fictions, which I thought was disappointing, as she's an interesting character, and the Everfree Forest is an equally interesting change of setting.
Also, writing in rhymes is hard. Hopefully I'll get better at it. And hopefully my chapters will get longer as this story unfolds.
Zecora and a human? This Is a new one. Will follow this, especially since she knocked it out, hahaha
Commence read:
Zecora hit it in the face with her stick.
I cracked up there,
cant wait for more chapters, keep up the good work.
This is off to a good start. Poor guy. And poor mouse.
That's a good start! Violence >:3
ha....HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH
With this start you have gained a favourite from me (don't get too excited about it. For me it's better way to watch for updates :P)
You are right. Not enough HiE stories with her.
I wonder if this will become a romance?
Sounds like the greatest idea in history. I shall read!
I'll follow, but if you drop Zecora's rhyming for a second and Im outta here!
After reading the last paragraph, I think that would be my response, too.
Its good. I like it and can't wait for more and while the genre may be overdone the concept for this seems fresh at least.
Zecora meets a human? That's something you don't rad every day!
*looks at like bar*... Inb4 featured?
Wait, she gets a human as a helper
This sounds bucking hillarious
So late. sets it to "read later", and turst me; i WIL
1745520
Poor mouse? But he made it alive though. I guess you're just feeling sorry of what the mouse just experienced, I think I'm feel sorry for the mouse too.
This looks like a very interesting idea and (Thank god) it's well written as well. I can easily see this getting featured. Thanks for the good read, this is going onto both my favourite list and my 'I-can't-wait-for-this-to-update' list. Best of luck
>inb4 featured
>inb4 regidar yet again
I love seeing a story with Zecora, and a human along with her at that, but I would forgive toi if she didn't rhyme each sentence. I know how tiring coming up with rhymes can be and it might ne fun if the rhyming was just Zecora messing with the ponies. Also, the human trying the same and ending up a nervous wreck...
Wait a second. He tried to eat a mouse whole and alive? Just how desperate has someone to be to try something like that?
I gotta read this.
Wonderful. Stick. Face. W00t.
I feel that most of the first two paragraphs are not needed. The readers already know what happened with Nightmare Moon. You've just established that the characters don't know, so how is it relevant to the story? I think that a simple reference, just a few sentences, would have been better.
Good grammar and spelling. It's a promising start and especially good for a first story. I'd like to read more, please.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/097/f/e/loud_noises_by_peachpalette-d4vbtkw.png
Okay, this is good. I like this. The human not immediately throwing away the idea of eating meat once in Equestria, even if they didn't know about it at the time. And him not having great experience with being on his own in the wild. These two things are just so...so rare nowadays.
Like, favorite, and follow. And to quote a meme used way too much on this site..."Dis gun b gud."
What I automatically thought when I saw the title.
Should be Spun, not span.
Seriously loving this. And I don't even like the human fics!
Interesting start so far, will keep an eye on this.
I kinda hope the Humie wont be knocked out by Z.
Id rather see what happens when it (he, she?) doesn't get knocked out and how they both react/deal with that first contact, or rather, after that funny flop of a first contact.
Hah, hit it with a stick.....definetly gonna read more of this.
Definitely a good start. The narrative inside the quotations are pretty funny, and adds a bit of style to your writing. I wonder where you plan on taking this, there's many avenues to choose from. And I'm pretty sure any sane person would kill the rat and eat what's inside if you couldn't cook it. You'd choke on raw fur and bones, not to mention the rat would scratch and bite the interior of your mouth, basically not a good idea to eat it alive. Well anyway it's too early to really say if this is good or not, I may just love the premise, but I look forward to later chapters.
1747617
It's to tell the reader exactly when the story happens.
This story seems promising. Have an upvote!
1746415
You are never in before Regidar. He was in the heart of the commenters all along.
Good start.
I'll be following this.
Travel the world, see new places, new peoples, and hit them with sticks.
This is a real creative take on the HiE fic. The skill is strong with this one!
This is...
an original idea. Bravo!
Oh I think there's lot's of HiE stories, I just think there's very few of them that are truly stupendous. Too many are either too naughty, too gory, or too dark/sad/tragic/death. This one seems decent. Imma keep an eye or two on it, see how it goes. Not a bad start, too bad it's such a short chapter though.
1745161
Good for a first fic. I know is hypocritical to say considering the shortness of my own chapters but you should really do longer ones. cause now im all curious and stuff.
1745424 It never said she knowcked it out, jt that she smackedit across the face. For ll wwe know, She could tie it up while it's dazed.
1745161 Well, the idea seems promising - it is actually a pretty fresh idea in a genre, where a lot of stories tend to be very similar.
Just tell me now before i read the rest, that he at least has some CLOTHES ON! PLEASE TELL ME HE DOES!
Since when has pinkie ever been considered ordinary?
This was a rather humorous .
I like it!
Just saw in featured and I like it already
She hit him
Wow, eating a mouse whole?
That's some serious idiocy. Poop's in there.
Best way to start a fic in my opinion. You got me hooked.
And eating a mouse whole? Man, he musta been hungry.
Zecora: My people's wisdom does the trick: When in doubt, hit it with a stick!
2511874
GENIOUS *Hugs Zecora* Or when in doubt, burn 'em out
An excellent and lolworthy first chappy.
Ummmm, how did he catch a mouse? Also, humans can actually digest raw meat, it's just not very safe (diseases) or good tasting. Furthermore, if he just carefully wanders and watches other animals that are earth-like, he could determine what he could eat (probably) and what to avoid. It would also guide him to water.
Plus, he could then get to work on some traps and stuff, and look around for flint (which is pretty common). He should avoid mushrooms and more aggressive animals like the plague and, well, basically survival with no tools isn't that difficult. It's more annoying and frustrating than hard.
Even without training he could still take care of himself in the end. Mostly by focusing on eating (after washing) roots and tubers and vegetation that has thickness to it (remember how thick the "leaf-stem" of lettuce is? yeah, like that). Not to mention nuts and berries (focus on berries that grow close to the ground, not on trees and not on bushes unless you recognize it).
Yeah, then comes the trap making and hunting and fishing and spinning sinew and...muahahahhaha! Then comes teaching the predators to fear humanity!
2828126 Then we wouldn't have the story though