“T-the town is clear,” a changeling said into the gun barrel that was put in her face as she poked her head into the town storm shelter.
“Thank you Ruby,” Rarity gave a smile and withdrew the weapon, “Next time give some warning before you come in, though. The last thing I want to do is hurt a friend.”
“Sorry, Rare,” Ruby apologized, “The queen and most of the others have left to help fight off the aliens near Canterlot, but about a third of us are staying just in case they return.”
“Thank you,” the fashionista turned to the others and announced, “The town has been cleared, but I ask that you remain in the shelter. There is no guarantee they won't return.”
“Aw, come on, sis. Let us get a bit of air and stretch out legs,” Sweetie Belle requested, “It's cramped in here.”
“Oh, I know Sweetie. Believe me, this is wreaking havoc on my mane and I don't even want to know what this stuffy armor is doing to my beautiful coat, but it's for the best.” Rarity explained.
“Actually,” Ruby interrupted, “letting out two or three at a time should be fine. That way everypony can get some air and stretch their legs, and, if need be, two or three can easily get back here.”
“Oh, well then I guess you can go out, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity gave her permission.
“Actually, a few others need it more than me,” Sweetie said with a smile, “I know Applebloom's getting fidgety.”
“Shud'up, Sweetie Black, Ah'm good,” Applebloom said.
“I'm just trying to help you out, Pregobloom,” Sweetie countered.
“You're just jealous cause Ah'm gonna be a momma and you're not,”
“Yeah, a little,” Sweetie admitted, “I can't wait to meet the little cutie.”
“You two talk, I'll let out the first group,” Rarity smiled at the two friends and headed off.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
“Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y...” Applejack tried to form whole syllables, but found herself failing.
“Are you alright?” Pinkie said with a bit of concern. She gasped, “Oh no! They got you in the voice box!” The pink party animal shot over to her farmer friend and pulled her into a tight hug, “It's okay Applejack. I will not rest until I find a cure for your horrible affliction!”
“Pinkie! What the hay!?” AJ finally screamed.
“That was quick. I'm good!” Pinkie beamed.
“Pinkie! What the hay happened to you?” the orange pony asked, “You look like you're part Dis... cord,” the mare facehoofed.
“Well duh! I'm half-draconequus remember.”
“Yeah, but why ain't Ah ever seen you like this?”
“Cause daddy said I shouldn't let ponies know, but now I can! Isn't it super-rific! I can do stuff like this that I can't do as just a regular pony!”
“Pinkie... you were never a regular pony.”
“Aww, thank you!”
The pink conundrum, still smiling at her friend, reached her paw into her mane and pulled out a bundle of lit dynamite. A quick flick sent it careening into a group of Dratali before exploding in a massive, pink fire ball, complete with confetti and streamers.
“How am Ah not numb to this kinda thing by now?”
“I don't know, how? Pinkie giggled.
AJ was about to say something, but was caught off guard by a Dratali lining up a shot on the pink mare.
“Pinkie!” Applejack shouted.
Pinkie turned to see what was bothering her honest friend just in time for the alien to open fire.
“No!”
“Oh!” Pinkie gasped and clutched her chest, “Alas, I have been slain! How my life comes to such a bitter, cruel end!” Her hoof shot to her forehead, “I'm... so... cold... Rose... bud,” and with a twist she fell flat on her back, launching a pile of dirt into the air and covering her completely. A headstone sprouted from the pile along with a single daisy.
The Dratali soldier, much like the orange pony taking cover behind a the wall, could only stare at the ridiculous display. He knew he hit her, but that... that was obviously an over-dramatic act. While his brain tried to reboot, he felt a weight on his shoulder accompanying loud crying.
“That was so sad,” the pink demon wailed, “Why did she have to die?” The Dratali once again found himself staring, “There's a cannon behind you.”
The moment his mind comprehended the warning it was too late. A powerful force flung him through the air, face first into a marble pillar.
“Bye Applejack!” Pinkie called and dove into the ground, sending ripples through its supposedly solid surface.
“Uh... was that normal for her?” asked a voice that Applejack would have recognized as Flicka's if she could think.
“No...” she finally uttered, “That's weird even for her.”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Olip lead his team through the halls of the research building. High Archon Xander said there were magic artifacts and technology here that could be useful, but every room was completely empty, striped of all assets. It seemed the natives anticipated this and moved everything of value to a more secure location. Despite the likelihood of finding anything, they pressed on until they entered a large dark room. The second their adept cast a light spell, the door was sealed over with a thick steel wall and the light fizzled out.
“Do you know what true beauty is?” a voice came from all around, “It's a moment... a single fleeting moment. It's the fact that it only exists for a second that makes it so beautiful, because its short life makes seeing it so rare.”
The Dratali were nervous. They swung their rifles around in the pitch, hoping to catch a glimpse of something. Suddenly, a light came on in the center of the room. A gray unicorn with a cinnamon mane stood over an large, egg-shaped object. She looked up at them with a manic grin that sent chills down their spine.
“It's that perfect moment... When earth meets sky,” she raised her hoof, “Happy Wednesday!” and slammed down on the yellow smiley face button.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
“Can you move?” Fluttershy asked the guard pony after finishing with his leg. He nodded, “Good, now get someplace safe.”
“No ma'am. I'm not leaving. I'm going-” He was cut off be the glare the yellow mare was giving him, “Yes Ma'am.”
Fluttershy smiled as the stallion limped away. She was happy he was alright. Five ponies died in her hooves, and only three had survived. They weren't doing very well, but they were starting to wear the enemy down. They were slowing their advance, and victory seemed possible.
“You doin' good, Shy?” Applejack asked from her place behind cover, popping up to take a shot every now and then.”
“I'm fine,”
“How bout you Parry?”
“I-I'm not sure,” he answered honestly, “There's so much death...”
“Ah told ya, you didn't know what you was gettin' into.”
“But he's been a lot of help,” Fluttershy defended.
The deafening sound of rapidly expanding air shook the very ground. Applejack looked back toward the source within the city. Arcing through the sky, she saw what she would have thought was the corpse of a cinnamon maned unicorn... if not for the fact that she was cackling like a mad mare as she soared overhead, leaving a smoke trail as she did.
“What the hay?”
“Oh yeah,” Jynx chuckled, “I forgot it's Wednesday. Talk about a bad time to invade.”
“Was that Tech Addict?”
“Technia. Yes it was.”
Applejack gave the scientist a quizzical look, “Have you ever met her pa?”
“No, why?”
“Her and Pinkie just might have somethin' in common.” Mumbled the Apple.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
The beautifully haunting music almost made him forget about the threat the world was facing. Even after nearly seven years of ruling over them alongside his wife, Shining Armor still found himself surprised by the crystal ponies at times. They had a unique kind of magic that he had never seen. They have an aura about them that affects all in their presence. Visitors to the Crystal Kingdom believe it’s made from crystal, but the truth is; it's all just stone. It's the ponies’ presence that transforms the buildings to crystal. This is the same reason that visitors develop the crystalline coat after a few days. Although most only notice the cosmetic effects, it goes much deeper than that. The magic seeps into a pony's very being, sharpening the mind, strengthening the body, and invigorating the soul. Pegasi fly better, earth ponies have a stronger connection to their element, and unicorns magic comes easier after four or five days. Of course, Shining Armor and Cadence, having lived there so long, take to the magic after around twelve hours as shown by their shimmering complexion.
Shining once again found himself humming to the music. He just couldn't help himself, it was so beautiful. He was so caught in the melody, he almost missed the three large objects heading his way. They were ships that looked different than the ones he saw in the telescope in the Crystal Palace.
“Admiral Gibson,” he spoke into the communicator on the visor he wore, “This is Shining Armor. We have three unidentified ships approaching the Crystal Kingdom. Xander must have told them about us.”
“Wait one... Yeah, those are Dratali alright,” came the Admiral's response. “Reinforcements are being scrambled to your location. Try to hold them off until they arrive. ETA fifteen to twenty minutes. I'm sorry it's not quicker, but we're kinda busy up here. You'll have to hold them until them.”
“Copy that,” Shining said and turned to the handful of guard behind him, “Alright stallions, get ready! Protect the Crystal Heart with your lives if need be!”
The blue maned prince lit up his horn, ready for the coming fight.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Her once radiant golden armor and pristine white coat, were now painted with a dull, red sheen of blood. Celestia's usual angelic form was replaced by something that would be more fitting in the deepest pits of Tartarus. Her hoof crushed down on the skull of an enemy, as her sword spilled the intestines of another. Rockets exploded against her shield uselessly, in an attempt to stop the rampaging alicorn.
A handful of her guard stood with her, their modified Alliance rifles neutralizing Dratali from range, while she drew their attention. A cry from another of her guards hurt more than any injury. She had already lost too many. She would mourn later, after the threat to her ponies is eliminated.
“Ah!”
Celestia turned her attention to the tortured scream. A Dratali adept was doing... something to one of her unicorn guards. He stood over the helpless pony, one hand gripping his mane harshly, the other sending arcs of electricity into the unicorn's horn.
With a stroke of her wings, the princess threw herself at the evil mage, decapitating him as she went. His body fell limply, dead. Celestia sighed in relief before realizing something was wrong. The guard pony hadn't stopped screaming. Something was very wrong. The adept must have done something, but she couldn't tell what.
“Listen to me,” Celestia said to the pained pony, “I'm going to examine you to see what's wrong, okay?” She hoped he could hear her and was at least reassured that he wasn't alone.
She leaned her head down to place her horn to his. The second they touched, the screaming stopped. Before she could question it, the unicorn quickly slid his horn along hers, pressing to her base. Celestia looked into the stallion’s now open eyes... his solid black onyx eyes.
“Predictable.”
A sound that had never been heard on Avol tore through the air...
The sound of a goddess screaming.
OH FUCK.
Yup.
Fuck.
oops
OH FUCK!!!!!!!
2528595 Alas, I was going to type in exactly the same...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mczwmnU2ao1r9lp7e.gif
Well it's gun suck if Celesita dies! But we still have OP as fuck Twilight, bathing in the tanks while the rest of them fight friez- I mean... the Dratili
2528680
shit hit the fan?
more like a tsunami of diarrhea just hit the coast.
OH FUCK!!!
Welp, it's been fun. Time to nuke it from orbit and GTFO.
Twilight's ragexplosion incoming in a about 2 chapters.
Fuck no.
This is pretty much my reaction:
2.bp.blogspot.com/_JLkdStmKIyk/TTq7LxZAKuI/AAAAAAAAAWg/lDkHqw-XN_g/s1600/alligator-lagoon-oh-fuck.jpg
twilight you need discords help. he well help you deny xander the ability to revive himself. find discord!
2528761
Hit the offshore wind turbine farm you mean.
Even bad-ass Celestia wielding Excalibur loses every time, huh? :/
2528880 Only by trickery. Xander used her love for her subjects against her
Well. Better hope Luna doesn't hear about Celestia right away. Else we might be looking at an Princess-powered precision orbital strike system. If Celestia doesn't break free and glass the area first.
Welp...
Fuck.
So my theory that the feeling that Twilight was experiencing was her transforming into an alicorn still has not been confirmed nor denied, but Xander needs to meet OP Pinky ASAP before he can gain mush more strength.
OK... Are Pinkie's sisters, Inky and Blinky, both half chaos lord too?????
Technia is pyro on Wednesday... this gives me ideas
She should have ended that with a "Rosebud".
2528903 Ok, they need SSJ3 Goku ASAP...
That last part:
OH SHIT...
2529020 (that's a yes)
2529051 She does now
I shudder to think what will happen when Luna finds out about this. Nightmare moon will be a distant and hilarious thought when she finally snaps.
2528845
That was about my reaction to. Oh, this is gonna be bad...
Congratulations Xander, you've done one of the few things that could possibly make Twilight hate you even more. Don't worry, you won't have to live with yourself for long. Twi'll fix that.
Xander, get ready for Nightmare Moon and Nightmare Twilight. You are going to die a painful, long, excruciating death.
Well, shit. Now all they can hope for is for Twi and Luna to go Nightmare, or for Superman Prime to show up (the especially invincible version that screwattack had to leave out in order to try and make it fair for Goku in that death battle.)
prince blueblood has a blue mane and is a unicorn
2529376
Ah, I was just thinking how the fight seemed to be going too well for the good guys. The Dratali may be pratfalling all over the place, but Xander's got his villain hat on good and straight.
2529376 Say what now? Last I checked Blueblood was blonde. Prince Shining Armor is the one who has the blue mane.
Appropriate battle music for the coming beatdown.
Yeah, so... Kinda saw that coming; I mean Celestia becomes the badass and about five seconds later she is defeated easily, ring any bells?
season 2 finale
OH NOES.
Not quite what I was expecting Technia to have, but it made me grin like the mad mare she is. I wonder where she'll land though. Perhaps a team of Dratali setting up a long range rocket turret on her front yard?
2529049 If Technia goes to a planet that does not have a Wednesday, she would probably try everything in her power to get a Wednesday on the calendar.
2529702 You weren't expecting a GIGANTIC FREAKING BOMB!!! I honestly thought you'd get it right away.
2529702 Earth, she must go to Earth. witch day should the technophilia be on?
I'm gonna laugh if it is some rather ordinary pony who's suddenly the one to help Celestia, or some other thing that makes readers go, "The fuck?"
2529726 I was hoping for a bike with a missile rack. Spread the beauty for more Dratali to see and experience, you know? Also, I could imagine the scene with a slightly less insane Technia. In short, she would fire a gun at the invaders until the magazine was empty, throw the empty gun at them and shout (with tears for dramatic effect) "IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME!" and (assuming the button is on a remote) throw the bomb trigger at them so that it activates with a time delay. A recording would say "HAPPY WEDNESDAY, MOTHER-BUCKERS!" followed by the big
bangboom.2529750 You mean the day she should land there on? Why a Wednesday of course. So long as there's a team of Mythbusters out there (and we know that Mythbusting requires blowing stuff up) testing myths about something random, like the existence of unicorns. Just for comedic purposes, they can be kept out of the loop on the Alliance news regarding Avol.
***
"We have determined that there is no way a unicorn could have existed on Earth. And to prove it, we are going to blow up these 4 acres of forest." Behind the host was indeed a forest. That was somehow lush and thriving in the middle of a desert.
Overhead, a meteor appeared to be falling towards the ground at high speed. Those who didn't have a concept of an object getting bigger meaning it was getting closer would have stayed behind in wonder. Fortunately, nobody there was like that, and someone had figured out that it was heading for the forest and called out a warning. Once everyone was *insert safe distance here* away, they turned back to the forest just in time to see the meteor hit the middle of the forest and set off all the explosives in it. One grey and red piece was hurtling through the air towards the host and camera crew, and seemed to be maniacally laughing before landing on the ground at high speed, gouging out a groove in the earth before stopping next to the host. The laughter also stopped.
The host sat down next to where the object landed, followed by the camera crew adjusting accordingly for the shot. He gave the object a serious look. "I don't know what that was-"
The object suddenly came to life and grabbed him by his collar. There was a clearly maniacal look in its face that would have had it sent to a mental hospital without question, if it were human. "That. Was. EPIC! One of my best Wednesdays, if I do say so myself."
The host, after recovering from what just happened, grabbed what he (correctly) thought were its shoulders. "Are you a unicorn?"
The female equine, as it was determined, pointed to her horn. "Does this look like a pair of wings to you?"
"... Okay, so we found a unicorn, which by all rights should not exist, by setting up 4 acres of forest with with high explosives-"
"WHICH ARE AWESOME ON WEDNESDAYS!"
"-and a meteor landing in the middle of it, setting them all off. That appears to be how you create a unicorn."
"Hey, I have proper parents! What did you think that meteor was anyways? A random hunk of ancient rock from when a solar system formed? Or a chunk of a comet?"
***
I leave the rest to the imagination in a clean way. If you want a safer time to arrive, Thursday is the way to go, even if she arrives on Earth somewhat depressed. After all, why would the Alliance 1: use precious resources to make one mare happy when there's no threat, and 2: let her anywhere near anything technological on the ship while in flight?
2529726
Personally, I chalked it up to too much Doctor Who.
archive.uboachan.net/uboa/src/1285217298428.jpg
YOU. What have you done?! She's already OP as hell with her powers, she doesn't need The Mask too! The whole world is doomed now!
Welp, I knew that was gonna happen to Celestia, I now await for the low orbit ion cannon of magic from Luna
2529897
But I want to imagine it devolving into a bad clopfic
2529812
Well... were not screwed yet. We still got Pinkimeana Diane Pie, Molestia, The Doctor, Cerberus, Twilight, Gamer Luna, Regidar, Rapidash (or Ponyta which ever you prefer), Discord, and THE STARE!!!! So I don't think were screwed just yet... and who knows maybe all of the Enterprises will come in as back up. And if all else fails we could all play THE KNIFE GAME!!
2529897 I know the pyromania is Wednesday, I want to know which of the other six days of the week were going to put the highest chance of her spontaneously breaking out in ecstasy when presented to a room full of technology? I was thinking I'm coming or going to the Smithsonian's military exhibition wing/building on Tuesday or Thursday and then trying to re-create some the stuff the following Wednesday. Things go boom Boom!!!