“Captain!”
“Captain Armor!”
Shining Armor awoke, twisting underneath his wife. Her cool, smooth skin was soothing, despite the memories of last night. Almost by reflex, Shining turned his head and kissed her gently on the cheek, without opening his eyes.
“Captain Armor! Wake up!”
That’s not my wife… wait. The ending of last night came back to him. He was lying on the front porch of his parents’ home, with his wife lying on top of him. In ordinary circumstances this would have been considered improper or scandalous – the young royal couple sleeping on a porch! However, these circumstances were different. Shining Armor opened his eyes, and immediately regretted the decision, seeing as Celestia’s day had begun several hours ago. The bright sun pierced his bloodshot eyes, and he winced mightily, instinctively bringing his hooves in front of his eyes.
“Captain Armor! Look out! That’s the Changeling Queen!”
… oh, bollocks.
“Alright, man?” Shining Armor spoke, tentatively pulling his hooves away from his eyes, wincing again as the sunlight invaded his skull. “Sir… just… calm down, it’s ok,” he blinked several more times, before squinting tightly and peering at the source of the voice in front of him.
There stood three members of the Royal Guard.
… oh, double bollocks.
“Captain Armor, on your orders, we will take the Changeling Queen into custody and hold trial for her, pending execution or exile,” the center guard stated mechanically, reciting the order that Shining himself had indeed given shortly after the wedding ceremony ended. At the time, he had no idea how badly those words would come back to bite him. Above him, his wife groaned awake.
“Shiny, dear, where are we?” Chrysalis yawned. “What’s happening?”
“I’m just… about to clear up a slight… miscommunication… with the Guard,” Shining Armor said.
“Captain Armor, there is no ‘miscommunication.’ We will be taking the fugitive Chrysalis into custody. Chrysalis, for your own safety, do not resist, and release Captain Armor.”
Chrysalis stood up, her tall, slender form casting an incomplete shadow against the porch. Shining rose to his hooves underneath her, quickly backing out when he realized the position he was in. Standing next to his wife, Shining looked at the three guardsponies in front of him. He recognized two of them – the gray Pegasus was Flanking Speed and the white unicorn was Crimson Lance. The gray unicorn was unfamiliar to him, and was hanging back a little. He’s probably new, Shining thought. Well, time to get them to lay off.
“Alright, boys, don’t worry. Everything is under control. There’s been a huge misunderstanding. This is my wife,” he declared, wrapping his hoof over Chrysalis’ shoulders, smiling. He pulled her closer for emphasis, knocking the queen slightly off-balance. She stumbled into her husband, hooves not finding purchase, and ended up draped over his back in a rather comedic fashion.
“Captain! That isn’t your wife! Remember? The wedding? Your wife is Princess Cadance! Excellent job apprehending the fugitive, though,” Crimson Lance said, taking a step forward, generating a magical rope and binding Chrysalis’ legs together underneath Shining Armor’s stomach. “There, now that she’s secured… Wavelength, inform the Lieutenant that the fugitive is in custody and Captain Armor is accounted for but may be un- MMMPH!” A light pink aura encompassed Crimson Lance’s mouth and the bonds restraining Chrysalis dematerialized, allowing her to dismount her husband.
“You, unicorn, Wavelength I think it was,” Shining Armor began, by now moderately irritated, “If you send that message I will have you cleaning the all the lavatories in Canterlot Castle with your tongue until the day you die. Do I make myself clear?”
The gray unicorn’s mouth opened to protest, then closed again as he thought about the Guard Captain’s threat. He nodded.
Confusion and fury showed on Crimson Lance’s face as he fought to break his superior officer’s magical hold. His muffled cries did nothing to break the bonds, however.
“Captain Armor, you may recall the supplementary orders to take you into custody as well if you resisted, claiming that if you did resist while in the presence of the Queen you were most likely under the influence of her magic,” Now it was Flanking Speed who spoke, the charcoal Pegasus’ wings flaring as he lowered his head. “Sir, I would really rather not have to use force.”
“Shiny, what’s wrong?” Chrysalis asked again, removing herself from Shining Armor’s back.
“Dear, it seems I gave orders to apprehend you, and also to apprehend me if I tried to defend you. Which leaves us with two options – either we comply and go quietly, or we… don’t. What do you think we should do?”
“Shiny darling I’m still half asl-”
“Excellent choice. CHARGE!” Shining whirled around, magically pinning Flanking Speed’s wings and gluing the other two guardsponies to the ground. Their hooves refused to move, sealed in place by an ethereal, sparkling, purple-pink energy.
“Captain Armor, please, come quietly! We don’t want to hurt you!” Wavelength bellowed after the fleeing couple. However, galloping at full tilt, the Guard Captain and the fugitive were soon well out of sight.
Only a few meters away, Chrysalis had yanked her husband into an alleyway, furious.
“Shiny! What in the wide world of Equestria are you doing? You just attacked three of your own troops!” Chrysalis hissed, a mixture of confusion and anger in her voice. “You’d better start explaining, mister. What happened back there?”
“Saving your life. Look, love… after the wedding, during the reception… I might have been a little… overenthusiastic towards ‘Chrysalis’ being brought to justice, and… I wasn’t thinking quite right. I ordered a standing arrest warrant for you, well, for the imposter, and her execution, pending a trial, at which she would of course have been found guilty,” Shining Armor explained, awkwardly shifting his hooves against each other and avoiding eye contact with his wife.
“You. Did. What.”
“I’m sorry, Chryssy, I’m so sorry… I just… at the time, I didn’t know, I thought you –” Shining Armor was met with a glare that could freeze a dragon’s heart, “Hey now, at the time, I thought it was you. I thought that ‘Chrysalis’ had just invaded Canterlot, tried to ruin our wedding, and nearly killed hundreds of ponies. I was pretty upset. I just haven’t exactly had the opportunity to rescind the orders. Now, though, you’re still a wanted criminal and any orders I give are null and void because I’m ‘being mind controlled,’” Shining Armor explained, sarcasm and disdain for his own commands dripping from every word. “I’m sorry, Chryssy, I really am.”
“You basically ordered my execution,” Chrysalis deadpanned.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know! Chryssy, please…” Shining Armor pleaded.
“No! I’m mad at you! I think. Is this what being mad at you feels like? I think this is what being mad at you feels like. Actually, no, I think this is just frustration again,” Chrysalis thought aloud, a hoof rising to her chin instinctively as she mulled it over in her head.
“You… you’re saying you’ve never been truly mad at me?” Shining Armor was confused. He was a dork, a doofus, and seven kinds of a blockhead, especially in the early years of his relationship with Cadance. The fact that she had never been really angry with him… astounded him. He stepped forward, closing the distance to his wife in two short strides, and pressed his lips to hers.
It wasn’t the fiery, passion-fueled, heavy kiss that the couple had shared so many times since their wedding night, but a simple peck on the lips. It was all Chrysalis needed – the simple physical contact left an indescribably pleasurable warmth on her face. The Queen felt rejuvenated, invigorated, alert – this feeling, just the little physical contact… Chrysalis spoke as Shining Armor pulled away.
“That… my loving husband, is why I’ve never been mad at you. For me, as a changeling, the touch, the embrace, the kiss of someone who loves me so deeply is to know a joy beyond words. Whenever you did something stupid, the very next hug made it all better,” Chrysalis wrapped her hooves around her Shiny to prove her point. “I know this is… a slightly backwards statement, but you love me, and that is all that matters to me. Come now, we need to get out of here, right? I can cast an invisibility spell. It’s pretty draining, but with you here, that won’t be a problem. Should we return to your sister’s?”
Shining Armor sighed heavily. “I think that would be the best option, dear. She accepts us and has a spare room, plus we wouldn’t draw attention to ourselves by going to her place instead of a hotel or something. Come on, let’s go.”
A green glow encased Chrysalis’ horn as she and Shining Armor disappeared, only to reappear a moment later.
“Why can I-”
“Changeling Magic. Those under Changeling Spells can see others – so Changelings can tell another Changeling from another pony. We’ll be able to see each other, but no one else will. Trust me.”
Shining Armor swallowed and nodded, exiting the alley, checking for the three guards from earlier. Without warning. Crimson Lance barreled past him, only inches from his nose, without so much as a sideways glance. Wow, she’s right. Or Crimson needs his eyes checked and a discharge from the Guard. Either way, neat.
---
As their luck had it, a train had been just about to depart for Ponyville. After a silent argument with his wife, Shining left bits for the tickets he didn’t purchase on the counter, much to the confusion of the teller. Seeing bits materialize out of thin air wasn’t something he was used to, but it wasn’t something he would ignore, either, and he quickly pocketed them. Shining had had to bite his own tongue to prevent from calling him out on the petty theft. Magically appearing bits he figured the teller could handle – a disembodied voice of the Captain of the Royal Guard would have been a bit more unsettling. Shining and Chrysalis boarded the train and chose an empty compartment, Shining wrapping themselves in one of the pre-supplied blankets before allowing Chrysalis to drop the invisibility. Telekinetically drawing the shades, Shining Armor allowed himself to drift to sleep in his wife’s hooves, her cool skin drawing the heat from his body.
He awoke several hours later, his wife snoring cutely above him, the slight vibrating noise of her breathing bringing a smile to his face. Tunneling his head out of the blanket cocoon, he peeked out the blinds. Night had fallen, and judging from the scenery, Ponyville was no more than twenty minutes away. He gently kissed his wife awake, her green eyes meeting his. She smiled, her pearly white fangs gleaming in the light.
“Hey beautiful,” he greeted, placing another light kiss on her muzzle.
“Hey yourself,” Chrysalis replied, giggling at how cheesy her own words sounded. “Are we almost there?” Shining nodded. “You want me to make us invisible again?” She felt his chest expand before shrinking greatly, a sigh passing his lips before he nodded again.
As the train slowed into the station, once again, the young royal couple vanished. Carefully avoiding the other ponies disembarking the locomotive, and hastily trotted across the town. The library proved easy enough to find – a giant tree in the middle of a town is pretty conspicuous. Shining Armor approached the door, laughing to himself at the painted-on candle adorning the entry to his sister’s home. Stopping just short, he looked at his wife quickly, before knocking twice on the door.
Twilight opened it, her pleasant smile fading as she saw that nopony stood at the door. Suddenly, she felt two hooves on her chest push her back into the library. Her own hooves caught against one another and she fell onto her back, noticing the door slam behind her invisible assailant. She shrieked and screwed her eyes shut tight, preparing a radial magic blast, when a familiar voice came from above her.
“Twiley? Twiley, it’s me, Shining Armor. It’s ok. No one’s going to hurt you.”
Twilight opened her eyes again, both elated and confused to see her brother again, who had mysteriously appeared right on top of her. Near the door stood Chrysalis, rubbing her forehead just below her horn with a hoof.
“Shining Armor! Chrysalis! It’s good to see you again, but so soon! You only left two days ago,” her tone shifted from cheer to annoyance. “Something happened, didn’t it? What happened? Shiny, I can tell when you aren’t telling me something. What happened?”
“I… uh… kinda got kicked out of the family and am now a wanted criminal,” the big white stallion said sheepishly, a small blush of embarrassment rising to his cheeks as he rubbed a hoof in his own mane.
“What.”
“Twilight, please, allow me to explain, for once,” Chrysalis said, shooting Shining Armor an annoyed glance as Twilight collected herself, “We’ve discovered that our doofus Shiny here is awful at explaining the real context of a situation, which I suspect may be part of the reason your parents reacted so… negatively. Do you have somewhere to sit? I could explain what happened…”
---
Thirty minutes later, Twilight Sparkle was doing her best to refrain from screaming at her brother. That big, stupid, blockhead Captain of the Royal Guard of a brother she loved so dearly, was a complete idiot.
“So let me get this straight. You didn’t properly explain things to my parents, got kicked out, fought off your own troops, and to top it off got on a train without tickets?” the purple unicorn fumed.
“I did pay for the tickets…” Shining added quietly.
“UGH! That’s not the point!” Twilight cried, exasperated. “Look, you can stay here as long as you need to, but please, fix this as fast as you can. I love you both dearly, and I would hate for my bestest foalsitter ever to have to face consequences for something my dumb B.B.B.F.F. did. Come on, it’s late. Why don’t we get some sleep? Please, actual sleep. Not like…” Twilight gestured with her hooves, once again cursing her mind for recalling the fact that this was supposed to be her brother’s honeymoon, and ponies did… things… on their honeymoons.
Shining Armor blushed and Chrysalis giggled. “Of course not, Twilight. Thank you very much, for everything.”
Good thinking on Armor's part to give those orders, I think they'll need the Princesses though, since they seem to be the only authority that has any knowledge of the situation.
Oh, Shining, do you ever get your hooves out of your mouth?
On the other hand, well done on the specificity of the orders. Shining learns very quickly, he is just easily distracted in the same way that almost all males are. Fun
This story is a fairly well written piece of serious family business bridged by a great festival of LOL.
Then by the end of next chapter they somehow get accused of murder......
Somebody needs and executive override. Can't say Shining didn't have the right idea though.
Hm... Why Twilight's? I mean the best option, since they ARE in Canterlot was the Princesses.
Still nice order Shining, now to find some way to break the chain of scandal and criminal record you'll be having now.
I hope there is a happy ending that concern Chrysalis accepted into Pony society.
Surely either princess would be capable of rescinding Shining's order? Should've just gone quietly with the guards and straightened the whole thing out that way.
Looks like they're gonna have to go public soon, huh? Nice job there, Armor. Real fucking nice.
I blame Celestia for all of this. If she had stated the truth about Chrysalis as soon she found out that Shining Armor had proposed or if she urged Chrysalis to tell the truth ahead of time then all of this could have been avoided.
It's like Celestia got drunk and decided, "you know what would be a great idea? To have my top military leader not know the truth about his fiance. To spice it up have the two of them be on the run and risk disownment by his parents. The angry mobs demanding blood, the pitch forks and the collective hatred will be a nice addition to their honeymoon. There's no way he can possibly resent me, I mean it's not like there are evil creatures that attack the capitol city all the time."
Seriously, when all is said and done, Shining Armor and Chrysalis will be the king and queen of the Chrystal Empire. I'd personally sever all ties to Equestria and declare war, because their love beam is more powerful than Celestia's magic, they have a huge ass barrier spell and Shining knows all their military secrets.
Seriously, fuck Trollestia.
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/088/trollestia.png
Princess Celestia will probably be alerted by the guards, and she'll be able to either fix the situation, or ALSO be accused of being under a changeling spell and havoc takes over Equestria.
... Why go to Twilight's instead of, oh, I dun'no... CANTERLOT CASTLE?! Where, you know, they could talk with Celestia about overriding Shining's orders? I suppose when those guards don't find Shining or Chrysalis, they're going to go to Celestia and tell her what they discovered anyway, but really? Shining may be a bit dim, but THIS dim? To go all the way to Ponyville on a train instead of trotting across town to the castle?
1971248
remember, he is related to twilight and what is she known for doing when stressed? panicking and completely ignoring logic.
1971149
The song that is playing in the back of Celestia's mind, "The blood of an innocent will flow without end, it's the ponies of Equestria and their killin' Chrysalis."
In all seriousness though, yeah they should probably hold like a press conference with the princesses there to prevent mass panic and so they don't have to constantly explain this to everypony. I wonder who's next on the I-just-discovered-Princess-Cadence-is-really-Queen-Chrysalis-and-is-totally-not-going-to-kill-me list. My money's on Fluttershy or the CMC or both. Actually, that would be rather funny to read.
Oh yeah, Chrysalis on that whole invisibility spell that only now you think to use despite wanting to keep this a big secret from everyone,
1971300
What does that have to do with anything? Being related doesn't make them automatically similar, and besides that Chrysalis could have still pointed this possibility out, as she knows she can trust Celestia since Cele has known about Chrysalis before Chrys even met Shining! So this is really a failure on both their parts.
ah... love....
It can be a war zone it self.
some more than others...
1971309
This is not so much a fail. What they were doing was fine as is, since the "mistakes" in Chrysalis's disguise weren't glaring. That, and it might be a bit more startling to have Chrysalis/"Cadance" appear out of nowhere compared to Chrysalis simply revealing her true form. In addition, it would have been conspicuous, and perhaps a mite suspicious, for Shining to go out all the way to Ponyville without his wife while it's still their honeymoon. Besides all that, though, given how much energy this invisibility spell apparently takes compared to Changeling disguise magic, if Chrysalis had kept making herself invisible when it wasn't actually needed, she might not have had the energy when she did need it here. She might have even thought ahead, given how her Changeling disguise was falling apart, that it would be best to conserve enough energy to become invisible to escape only when she had no choice to escape, like what happened here.
You cant tell them what to do, it´s their honeymoon they need some
Heh heh... Lance... I get it...
My reasoning behind having them book it for Twilight's was because that was one place where they knew anyone present would accept them. In addition, they are invisible, not immaterial - so walking into Canterlot Castle, avoiding the various guests and servants, as well as the substantial Royal Guard deployment present at the Castle, and waiting for one of the Princesses to be alone to talk to, which could have been hours. Chrysalis couldn't maintain the spell for more than several minutes at best, while she might have had to wait two or three hours before Celestia or Luna would be available and in private.
Commence read.
Shining is now a wanted felon. Well, love will keep you going then.
It doesn't matter if you paid or not if you still have no tickets! Go buy them, NOW!
Sorry, that was my first thought from the word choice.
1971123
1. Lots of guards.
2. The princess is probably doin that their work with lots of civilians and guards around.
3. Guards have unicorns = probably have anti changeling magic spell that makes them be seen.
4. Shiny is just too dumb to recognize that and Chrissy is still too sleepy.
5. Trollestia doin on snitchin the guards where Shiny and Chrissy sleeps.(Maybe)
im just randomly asking a random question here but im really curious...vash, do you ever play Team Fortress 2? more specificly, in the past week?
cause im pretty sure i saw you on there either last night (1/15/2013) or tonight (1/16/2013) on a 2_fort map.
if you did, im just letting you know that i am Jack Ripper.
if not then im sorry for wasting your time.
1971664 You meant these guys right?
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120914080651/borderlands/ru/images/thumb/1/18/Borderlands_2010-02-25_16-00-45-52.png/800px-Borderlands_2010-02-25_16-00-45-52.png
Anyways, Shining you are the King of Dofusland!
1973279
1. Agreed
2. Celestia is probably doing her best with the change of Shining's orders and to calm the towns folk.
3. Wrong, if guards do have anti-changeling spells, they would have done that ages ago to ensure none of them ARE changelings. Also note, Chrysalis IS Cadance in the story and timeline implied is that it's after, or a few days, the wedding so no new spells.
4.Shining is just VERY worried.
5. It is in the previous chapter, they slept outside of his parents house, with Chrysalis without her cover.
Huh
Wouldn't expect anything less from Twilight's big brother when screwing up a situation
1971484
I figured that was the reason as that was the implication of her statement. The fail comes from the fact that she waited nearly two days to mention this to Shining Armour. Let's look at it from a different angle, I imagine that when she realized her disguise was starting to fail she might have considered her options and also considered what abilities she could potentially use. This is fine and dandy for her but does not help the two of them if only one of them knows what the other is capable of doing. Had she mentioned to Shining Armour what she could do and what she could afford to do before they left, they could have made some quick contingency plans in case things go awry. Moreover, with knowledge that his wife has some subterfuge abilities, Shining can at least have her make a quick get away while he plays decoy to any ponies who want to capture her. My point is her wanting to conserve energy is fine, but mentioning to Shining Armour that she has a useful ability ahead of time allows for them to at least make a plan around that option such that their use of it isn't a sloppy one. I mean sure they've gotten away for now, but now that the guards know that Chrysalis is around and that she's being sheltered by Shining Armour the first three places they are going to go are the castle to warn Celestia, his parent's house, and then Twilight's house. However, Shining Armour isn't off the hook either as he could have asked Chrysalis before they went to Ponyville if she had any other spells besides her disguise spell that they could potentially use to avoid discovery. Knowing the tools and abilities that he has to work with seems like something Shining would want to know before charging ahead. It also would have helped if he had mentioned to Chrysalis before they went back to Canterlot that he might have told the ponies at the reception about the hit--I mean, standing warrant he put out on Chrysalis. Again this goes back to knowing what you have to work with and any potential obstacles that might make things difficult in the future.
In short, her wanting to conserve energy= not fail, her waiting until they were backed into a corner as opposed to the several moments when they weren't calming friends and family down to mention the fact that she has probably one the most useful spells outside her disguise spell and any potential hazards that come with its use= fail. Adding to that now, Shining Armour wanting to respect his wife's privacy and feelings by not probing her with numerous questions about what she's capable of= not a complete fail. Him not asking if she knows anything useful that could help keep her away from a jail cell and not mention the contract--I mean warrant for her arrest to her after he found out who she is= fail. I mean I'm getting the vibe here that the moral of this story is to a) be true to yourself and those around you and b) trying to keep major secrets that could have life changing affects to those you care for or are responsible for never works out too well in the end for you or them. A better way to view that last one, who has benefited or who will benefit should they keep playing this game of hide-and-not-tell? If I'm reading this right, the reason most (not all) of the ponies they've told have had negative first reactions was due to the fact that they were lied to. Twilight and Spike were hurt by this because they initially felt that the past seventeen or so years were nothing more than lies. The same could be said for Shining Armour's parents, their new daughter-in-law--the mare who they have known by another identity for seventeen years, allowed into their home, allowed to raise their daughter, treated her like family, and gave their blessing when she wanted to marry their son--decides two days after what could have been a disaster to tell them the fact that she has been knowingly lying to them for seventeen years. While the fact that she is the changeling queen is a part of their outrage, I think what has them more upset is the fact that she didn't feel like she could trust them with the truth, which is far more hurtful than what species she is or who she is. I'll end this soap boxy rant with a quote from Alfred from The Dark Knight Rises, "Maybe it's time we stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have it's day." Geez, didn't intend for this to get so long...now that's a fail on my part.
*sigh*
This was better as a one-shot
1973456
I was referring to Lance Corporal, which is the equivalent of being "new to the guard."
1974332
I don't think so...
1974554
It was amazing as a one-shot, and the first few chapters were just as good and I was utterly ecstatic it was being continued, but since about chapter 4 I've noticed the quality going downhill at a steady rate. The characters just feel off and their actions are incredibly dumb from the way I see it.
See this comment I made on the last chapter after Shining told his parents.
1924928
1974429 Alright.
I have got to lay off the Borderlands...
1971123
1972176
Why go to Twilight's? To get away from the manhunt to a safe haven that just happens to have a direct line to Celestia without having to walk through tons of guards.
1975913
You misunderstand. It's not that it doesn't make sense. It's just that there isn't a point. Chrysalis with Cadence's personality and history with Shining and Twilight is still essentially Cadence, so the intended purpose of creating real Shining/Chrysalis romance becomes null and void since it's still the character of Cadence, just with an altered backstory and species. It's like if you changed the texture and name files of an NPC in a game, but kept all their original dialogue, and thus their personality. It's still the same character, just with a different skin and label. Thus I really don't see a point in continuing to read since the story fails to deliver what it promises in a major way. I just thought I'd let the author know as much because I certainly find it frustrating when people don't like my story but don't tell me why.
I think they are a great pair, don't you?
1975960
I do think the story is interesting enough to follow, but indeed, if people want "what if Chrysalis actually fell in love with Shining Armor", this is not really it. That would require starting with Chrysalis as established: a creature motivated enough to plan that invasion, be it due to callousness, overconfidence, a desperate situation, or any other reason; and then somehow get her to grow fond of him to the point where she can't put her plans above his well-being.
Well, at least if you want to do it seriously. This artist did a few comics with a more humorous angle.
Just a throwing a prediction out there, I have no idea if it will happen so just stick with me here. In the next chapter someone else will find out Cadence is Chrysalis and they will go through the same old routine of explaining that this is actually Cadence and they will either accept it or reject it. Personally I think it would make a great plot twist if that happened.
1974332 Hmm? Nope.
I have to say, the story started out well, but the premise seems to be growing a bit long in the tooth. Pretty much what 1980652 said.
I also agree with 1975960 completely. (It really saves time when other people make my arguments for me.)
Well, now since they are in library with Twilight, how about this:
1) Twilight and Spike write a letter to Celestia explaining the mess Shinning Armor got himself too.
2) Celestia cancel all orders about capturing Chrysalis and head to Ponyvile.
3) Twilight, Shinning Armor, Chrysalis, Spike and Celestia will sit in library and debate about what to do with current situation and go out with a good reliable plan.
I am sure it is far better and more logical way to deal with current situation then to run around Ponyvile and Canterlot, being chased by Royal Guards what are ordered to execute Chrysalis and leaving Celestia with no idea about the entire mess, and maybe even getting Twilight involved into it as traitor and arrested.
If they just went to Celestia there would be no story and a happy sappy ending. This is a fanfiction not wish fulfilment. One must truly drag the story so that the relevent points may be made and theyhave to be challenged in some way.
In conclusion.
This is good.
yall need to shut up and enjoy the ride.
Constructive Critisism is magic, Rustling Jimmies over plot points is ridiculous.
That being said Chrysalis should have been Disguised. It is common sense.
1985267 While the rank structure of the Equestrian Royal Guard has never been revealed in-canon, there's a strong implication that "Captain" is indeed the highest position, answerable only to the Princesses.
To be fair, they kind-of brought the attention on themselves by sleeping out in the open with Chrysalis undisguised.
I look forward to more.
1971073 Don't give them any ideas!
I just thought of something. Remember how Twilight's suspicions got shot down hard by Celestia in the episode? In this fanfic's backstory, maybe that was because this version of Celestia figured that Twilight had somehow found out that Cadance was actually Chrysalis... but she wasn't aware that Chrysalis herself had been replaced by what in this story amounted to a double impostor.
Then again, this opens another plot hole: Celestia would probably have sought out Twilight to clue her in and at that point should have realized that something was amiss when she couldn't find her.
Also: I think I have a good idea how this story's Best End would look. I'm not sure if I want to spoil it though.
Why do I have this feeling he's a changeling or something?
“So let me get this straight. You didn’t properly explain things to my parents, got kicked out, fought off your own troops, and to top it off got on a train without tickets?” the purple unicorn fumed.
I have that topped: I quit the wonderbolts, threw over a million bits from my bank account to an angry mob consisting of about half of all of Equestria, and became a wanted fugitive for 2 days in 1 day.
there's that big 'ol storm of chaos i felt!
Yup
Aaaand here we have the fallout from Shining's arrogance.
Yes, arrogance.
Oh, it's not like he hasn't been acting stupid, but a lot of these problems wouldn't be a problem if he didn't have this huge chip on his shoulder.
wow, what a thing to say...