In a universe where strangeness appears to blend with reality, the destinies of Mady Sky and Twilight Sparkle abruptly tilt into an ocean of uncertainty. Once safely ensconced in a cocoon of certainties, these two friends, bound by a deep friendship and a fusion of love, find themselves catapulted into the unknown, emerging from a troubled night to discover a landscape where even the most basic landmarks elude them. Adrift in a place strangely familiar yet foreign, they are greeted by inquisitive glances and silent echoes of erased memories. The illusion of their friendship and love seems to dissolve in the mists of this new environment, while the remnants of their past in Equestria, where they were destined to become the next leaders as powerful alicorns, crumble like fragments of fleeting dreams.
Before awakening in this altered world, Mady Sky and Twilight Sparkle led a glorious life in Equestria. Twilight, honored as the Princess of Friendship, and Mady, revered for her wisdom and courage as the Princess of Astronomy and Combat, seemed to have it all. Their love, both profound and inspiring, illuminated their existence, while their future seemed charted in the stars. More disturbingly, their wings, symbols of their freedom and unbreakable bond, have vanished, replaced by a void as oppressive as it is mysterious. In this apocalyptic world, which appears to be a distorted and dark version of their native Equestria, where every breath seems to be a challenge to survival, Mady Sky and Twilight Sparkle must face unforeseen trials, oscillating between the fragile hope that all of this is merely a dream or a tasteless joke.
(All the drawings were made by myself)
Well, that is a long-winded description. But the story does look cool, so can't say more than that right now.
You have a big vocabulary. That's a good thing for a writer to have. But, your characters talk like they've memorized the entire thesaurus. Which Twilight probably has, but still. It doesn't sound like how ordinary people talk. Save the sesquipedalian style for your prose, and make the dialogue sound more like stuff that actual people would say. Here's a neat trick: have your characters have ways of phrasing that are unique to them. Like Twilight talking geek stuff or Maddy rating how good things are by comparing them to her favorite [insert idea here].
I've noticed that your writing style has gotten better since your first chapter. That's the wonderful thing about practice, no? So keep it up, and I bet you can get as good at this as you want to be, provided you don't descend into a spiral of self-hatred like I did at one point. Sure, you're writing's not the best, but who cares? If you're doing something you love to do, why should you stop just because you aren't perfect at doing it? So don't take my criticism too hard, if you can help it. We've all got room to grow.
Also, there's an MLP YouTuber with your name. Mad Munchkin, Maddy for short. She does writing criticism. You can check her out, if you're interested, though she's not a very sympathetic critic (and unsympathetic critics are a dime a dozen on YouTube).
Whatever you want. Good luck!
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Thank you very much for your comment. However, I must warn that I speak French and that the basis of my stories is precisely French, so my translation is not very correct.
Welp im hooked🤣🤣 nice story so far
This is really good i never knew that a equestria in a zombie apocalypse and two friends with no memories were going to be this good🤣🤣👍
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So much the better if you like it 🤣👍🏻
Take a drink when u read determination.🤣🤣 im kidding🤣
I'm not sure what happened, but it seems that a section of this story is in French? Why? Is it your native language?
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Yes, my native language is French, so translating it into English is quite complicated 😊